Punch or The London charivari (3.1842)

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

GROSS INJUSTICE.

We beg to solicit the attention of our innumerable readers to the state of the law respecting

CRUELTY To ANIMALS.

The enactments relative to this offence exemplify, in an eminent ; bo loDg, as if they felt decidedly uncomfortable ; and though we never
degree, that spirit of class legislation which is the vice of our political took the dying deposition of a black-beetle, we have tiie word of a
system. The great brutes are protected, while the smaller creatures poet that it expires as unpleasantly as a son of Anak. If this be true,

may be victimised with impunity. Now, while equine sensibilities
are respected, while the costermonger, declaring-

" If I had a donkey wot wouldn't go,

Just wouldn't I wallop him ! "

is limited in the power of the cudgel by the

" No, no, no ! "

of Mr. Martin's Bill ; while the butcher is compelled to kill his sheep

the same may be predicated of the cockroach, the chafer, the earwig,
the flea, and the bug ; indeed, of all sorts of vermin, friendly or un-
friendly to man—of whose sufferings we make, in general, as little
account as if they were so many paupers. As to the insect last men-
tioned, it was deliberately proposed, but the other day, to destroy it
by pinning it down to a table and reading debates to it until it burst
—though this proposition, to be sure, emanated from slave-tormenting
with kindness, or "dance to the echo of his feet" for a fortnight, in ' America. Surely this partiality is unjust : how can it be accounted
company with the rogue and the beggar ; while, also, where bishops : for ? "De minimis non ou • •' Lex ,-" " the Law does not care about very
used to be roasted alive, it is a crime to baste a bullock ; while, in ' small things ;" and why ? because it is made by the Great,
short, the aristocracy of the animal kingdom are hedged round by ; A question here arises, which we do not pretend to solve, because
'Acts of Parliament, the many are abandoned to the oppressor. The it is incapable of solution, as we need not write a volume of meta-
domestic carnivora, we believe, are among the privileged classes ; but physics to prove :—" "Where are we to draw the line ?" It is not easy
nothing, that we have ever heard of, under a cat, is recognised as a to see where we can draw it philosophically ; whereas, if we are to
sensitive being. Indeed it is only of late that the claims of the latter make no distinction at all, the obligation of "Justice to Animalcules"
animal (notwithstanding its belonging to the felin - race) to consider- will oblige us to have recourse to the microscope ; and it will become
ation, have been allowed. Now there is no doubt that the rat and a question whether we shall.be able to fulfil it, even then. The
the mouse have as much feeling as the elephant ;—let him who enter- following interesting difficulty will moreover have to be settled : Is
tains any, pinch one of the so-called rodentia by the tail, whereupon the zoophyte to be protected, or not ? We thus open a fine field for
the creature will assuredly squeak, and in all probability make him speculation, which, if our readers consider it absurd, we hope they
squeak too. Eels, when skinned alive, wriggle, although used to it will be content to laugh at.

IRISH TR \NQ,UILLITY ! mas*;erl.>' manner in which you have dispersed the crowds collected to wit-

*__ ' j ness the enactment of * Punch" and other illegal performances : whilst, on

r . .... „ .„ iic j ! the other hand, you have, with even-handed justice, never interfered with

It * with feelings of outrageous gratification we lay before our readers , Qw national factton.fi ^ nor disturbed our harmonious free-and-easies-
(«^usively) the following correspondence between the Church wardens I demand om. warmestg ^ and gratitude.
.Beadle, and thirtv-six lesser functionaries, of the parish 01 bt. Gales s, and
the new Inspector of the N. 0. division of Police :—

No. I.

Si. Giles's Pound, October 31st, 1842.

Ma. Inspector Doonomore.
Sin,—We, whose names are hereunto signed, feel that we owe a deep
debt of gratitude to you for the active, zealous, and efficient support you
have afforded us in preserving peace and good order in these the Irish dis-
tricts of this Great Metropolis. The vigorous energy you have employed sweepmg, < nope soon to obliterate t
in impounding all the little boys' hoops found trundling in the streets ; the eminent in night-charges.-1 am, &c

No. 2.

Station-House, Dyot-Street.
Messrs. Churchwardens, Mr. Beadle, and Gentlemen,
For your flattering testimonial take my thanks, and welcome.
I shall be always ready to carry out the Police Act to the very letter
whilst 1 belong to the " E" division.

By the suppression of peg-tops, juvenile vagrancy, and illegal crossing-

sweeping, I hope soon to obliterate from St. Giles's the stain of being pre-

doonomore.

A FRIENDLY HINT.
We have noticed an advertisement in the daily papers which states that
the author of " The M. P.'s Wife " has just completed a new work called
" The M. D.'s Daughter." In case this gentleman should be at a loss for
future subjects we beg to suggest " The F.R.A S.'s Grandmother," '•' The
M R.C.S.'s Brother-in-law," or "The LL.D.'s second Son by bis first
ru* odds against HiM. 1 Wife," as appropriate titles strongly recommended for family use.

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