Punch or The London charivari (4.1843)

£4 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

from society, but because they think such laborious indefatigability,
in following up the most approved precepts of fashion, necessary to
enable them to retain their position amidst the crowd of people
which they call the World.
These, then, are our acquaintances, with whom, as we have stated,
we are particularly intimate, and whose domestic economy we shall
from week to week keep our eye upon.

Swagger, but he assumed the interesting diminutive of ini at the end
of his first season at the Roman Temple. His engagement here is
supposed to be merely a stepping-stone to something else ; but what
that something else is, has not yet been decided on. The terms of
his engagement are half-a-crown a night, with the privilege of ben-
to the nightly tune of four-pence. We have already spoken of his
compositions, but his chief score is preserved in chalk at the back of
the bar-room door of the Etruscan Temple. It presents a series of
running passages, and it is expected the landlord will add an obli-
gato of his own at no distant period. Among other efforts of his
genius, we have heard it whispered that he has an idea of carrying
out an entirely novel plan, which will place him in permanently com-
fortable circumstances. It is something in the nature of a composi-
The subject of our present biography was born in the vicinity of J tion—and it is to be called sixpence in the pound, which lie con-

^uncfi's (Contcmpornnj 23fograpi)i'rs.
NO. I.—SIGNOR SWAGGERBINI, CONDUCTOR OF THE MUSIC AT THE
ETRUSCAN TEMPLE JN THE COMMERCIAL ROAD.

Holborn Bars, which accounts for his early love of music ; and it is
said of him that, even as an infant, he would pay particular attention
to the singing of his mother's tea-kettle. He had scarcely attained
the age of eight, when he began to develop a remarkable love of
tune ; and his father, in order to bring this facility out, was accus-
tomed, when the boy wanted any indulgence, to let him very fre-
quently whistle for it. Such was his precision in the way of time,
that he could always tell the dinner hour by something within him
—or rather by the absence of something within him ; and at the
early age of 12 he had put some variations of his own to the "Margin
of Zurich's fair waters," which he was in the habit of giving at dusk
with great effect in the public thoroughfares. This performance
eometimes attracted the attention of the authorities, by whom he was
occasionally a good deal sought after ; and he was honoured by the
especial notice of policeman K 3G, who struck our hero very forcibly
in a manner that was not soon forgotten. It was K 36 who taught
the young musician the difference between Sharp and Flat; for on
some occasions when he did not look sufficiently sharp, he was ren-
dered fiat by the severe but wholesome interference of the official
alluded to.
Having purchased a halfpenny whistle at Bartholomew fair, our
hero became a proficient on that somewhat ineffective instrument,
but he subsequently brought himself into notice among his own
friends, by a very brilliant arrangement of the gallopade in Gustatus
for the Tintuberion—a small pipe made of the metal which its name
indicates.
Having picked up a violin at a dealer in marine store's, he picked
up, somehow or other, the knack of scraping a tune upon it ; and
though he certainly cannot be ranked as a performer on the fiddle,
his quick ear renders him peculiarly fitted to conduct the orchestra
of the Etruscan Temple. The perfect control under which he holds
his band (consisting of a very classical quartette) is no less astonishing
to all who know him, than to all who don't. Nature having favoured
him with a squint, he is able to look a pair of daggers at once, and to
embrace in his vision the flute on his right as well as the double-bass
on his left. His enormous white paper cuffs and highly-chalked dog-
skin gloves give him the appearance of Jullien, whose style of
wielding the director's baton he closely imitates. As a conductor he
stands excessively high—being mounted on a wooden pedestal. His
compositions are very few, and he never commits them to paper,
but whistles them when he sets to music any of those pieces for
which the Roman Temple (licensed pursuant to the 2"th of
George the Second) is eminent. His idea is caught up by the
band, and in this way he has not a rival among British com-
posers. His crash music to the storm in the Mountaineers
is a truthful and energetic burst, consisting of two consecutive
chords in the orchestra ; and the fine effect of the flute playing
a minor fifth while the double-bass is a major seventh out
of the key, is one which musicians only can properly appreciate.

templates dedicating to his creditors.


THE BOLD HANDLING OF A DIFFICULT SUBJECT*
When he takes the violin in hand, he is often out, and his mother,

Xautt'cnl.
The following has been handed to us by an eminent Professor of Navi-
gation, as very important questions to be put to those gentlemen who are
about to pass their examination for Lieutenants in the R. N. ; extracted
from that celebrated work, " Sailing Directions between London and
Blackwall," by the great Welch Navigator, Captain Richard Ap-Lin.
Stiggins and Co., No. XXX. Fillpot Lane.
" Qucs. In steering between London and Blackwall, what are the
leading marks to 'The George,' half-way public house?
Ans. I steer E. by S. till I bring 'the George' to bear a point on
the larboard bow ; I then keep on till I bring the flagstaff before the
door, and the pewter pot in the bar window, in one ; then cross the
street, bring the bar-door broad on the starboard beam, put the helm
hard-aport, and bear up for the door, which, having well opened, I put
the helm hard-astarboard, and, coming up to N. N.E., enter the Parlour.
Ques. What soundings have you in that Parlour ?
Ans. Many long yarns, pewter pots of various depths and yards of clap.
Ques. Supposing the night dark and squally, you hazy and unable
to make headway, what would you do ?
Ans. I would bowse out "my jib with a stiff Norwester at the
' Black Boy and Camel,' light a cheroot, set my pea-jacket, and take
my departure on the top of a Blackwall omnibus.
Ques. By what method do you compute the course to be steered f
Ans. As Aldgate Pump is to Whitechapel Church, so is the Halfvwiv
House to Blackwail Stairs."

SONGS OF THE STARS.
No. I.—La Premiere Da.nseuse.
Sue bounds along with step so fleet,
And such aerial spring,
That from a world where spirits meet
She seems some fairy thing.
Her eye, with gushing radiance full.
So clearly bright, and brightly clear,
Is sparkling (from a recent pull
At a quart of Barclay's beer).
The lily's whiteness p'rhaps may charm
Those who in meadows walk.
But nothing can outshine her arm
(Caked with the finest chalk).
To sylph-like tenants of the sky
We surely may compare
A creature that doth dwell on high
(In some back-room—three-pair).
As wild and graceful as the fawn,
As swift as young gazelle—
(She's lately taken out of pawn
That ring which shines so well).
She seems the very child of dance,
A gentle thing devoid of art—
(Without a mouth's pay in advance,
From France she would not start).

Our Express from Paris had not arrived when our Paper went to pre#e,
which is of no great consequence, as we never expected it. The Herald
of this morning, however, brings us London news up to the day befor*

though devotedly attached to him, knows it. His real name is yesterday.