Punch or The London charivari (4.1843)

42

FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.
Mb. Muggles left the Marylebone Workhouse on Tuesday, for a short
tour on the Clerkenweli treadmill. He was received by the governor and
turnkeys, who conducted him over the principal part of the prison,
but, we regret to add, he expressed his entire dissatisfaction of the
arrangements.
Mr. Covey and a party of gentlemen will leave town on Saturday, on a
visit to the Hulks of Woolwich.
Inspector Green entertained a large circle of visitors at his hospitable
mansion in Bow Street, on New-Years eve. The majority of the company
left on Monday morning for the court. Similar reunions took place at
Queen Square and Union Hall.
Mr. and Mrs. Twit will leave their residence on Saturday morning.
They will proceed from Kennington Oval to Regent Street, rid Piccadilly,
and having passed a short time on the banks of the canal at the Poly-
technic, propose going still further north to visit the Frozen Lake at the
Coliseum : whence they are expected to return by dinner-time. The
infant does not accompany them, but will be left under the charge of the
Dowager Mrs. Pearlash.

PUNCH'S POLITICAL ECONOMY.
introductory definitions.

it is just as easy for a pickpocket to steal a gold watch as a silver ona,
though it is certainly less difficult to procure iron, which is often thrown
into the bargain, in the shape of handcuffs, after gold or silver may have
been obtained in the manner hinted at.
Value is however regulated by supply, and when there is too much
of a thing it falls in its price, while the reverse occurs when there is too-
little. Water is valuable when it comes into the cistern in moderation,
and we cheerfully pay the water-rate (if we happen to have the money by
us for doing so); but when it runs in at the roofs or inundates the kitchens,,
it loses its value altogether. This admirable rule of political economy
would seem to reverse the principles of arithmetic, for while the latter
teaches that twenty must be worth more than one, the former opens our
eyes to the fact—the politico-economical fact—that one is worth more
than twentv.

THE POET'S DREAM.

i.
As stretch'd upon my feverish palliasse
(Bought at the Furniture Bazaar) I lay,
It seem'd as if the Equitable gas,
Within a lamp on t'other side the way,
Would cheer me with its faintly flickering ray.
I drew my nightcap down upon my ears,
For, Oh, the Waits had just begun to play,
And fancying them the music of the spheres,
I closed my eyes in sleep—my eyes—red founts of tears.

ii.
Sweet Fancy ! mother of a thousand things
That never were and never are to be ;
Fancy, that turnest maniacs into kings,
Fancy, that once made somebody of me,
Fancy that givest the briefless one a fee,
And makes the junior barrister—good lack !—
Walk boldly into court and fancy he
Has the full right to occupy the Sack,
Though if he tried it on Ushers would keep him back.


Political economy is the science by which nations and individuals
acquire wealth, or, in other words, become rich ; and this accounts for some
of the principal political economists being the richest-humbugs of this
or any other time.
Wealth is that which we can exchange for something else, and conse-
quently an old pair of pantaloons must be considered as wealth when
exchanged for a goldfinch, and the men who walk about with birds on
their fingers, offering them for old trousers, are consequently practising
political economy.
Air is not wealth, because we cannot get change for it, though there
is such a thing as " change of air :" and it is this ambiguity of terms which
has probably misled the government, who think that what is capable of
being changed, must gain something in exchange, and is consequently
wealth ; so, looking at air in that light, they tax it accordingly.
A shirt is wealth if it is only changed once a month, but the fact of its
being changed at all gives it, according to political economists, a certain
or an uncertain value.
of value.
That quality of an object which renders it capable of gratifying our
desires is/value: therefore, if we desire to catch a flea, and the flea is caught,
it becomes valuable—at least in the eyes of political economists.
Before political economy came into vogue, it was thought that the vakte
of anything was exactly what it would fetch ; but this doctrine is ex-
ploded, for if we send a servant to fetch a pound of mutton chops, we are
not to consider the chops as the value of the servant. A valuable dog will
fetch a penny ball if we throw it to him, but we cannot say that the dog is
only worth what he will fetch, for this would make him worth only a
penny, and (allowing for the wear and tear of the ball) perhaps nothing.
Intrinsic value is different from exchangeable value. The former exists 0f^^_qJ^fn*!°^§.™P*
in an article to which nothing is added by human labour. The play of
Hamlet is of intrinsic value, inasmuch as it affords us gratification to read
it ; but sometimes when human labour is added to it, as when Mr. Charles
Kean toils through the part, it loses its power of delighting us, and conse-
quently its value is gone, by being mixed up with human labour—including
the labour of the actor, and the labour of those who sit out his per-
formance.
It is, however, admitted by all political economists, that labour in
general gives value to that which it is bestowed upon : and of two similar
things, that is the most valuable which has been the subject of the greatest
amount of labour. By this doctrine, it would appear that a cab-horse,
which requires great activity from the driver to make it go, is a more
valuable creature than a horse that goes without any labour at all. This
seems at first a startling proposition, but it must be evident that a horse
which cannot run away with you, and endanger your life, is more valuable
than one that may, at least in the long run ; and it is, after all, the long
run, or for going to great lengths, that the doctrine of the political econo-
mists is best adapted.
If it takes Sir Robert Peel a week to make a single joke as good as one
of the thousand that appeared in Punch's Almanack, it is clear that the
Almanack in question is worth a thousand weeks, or about twenty years,
of the Premier's existence ; and as cheerfulness is likely to prolong life, it
is probable that Sir R. Peel may find his existence so much lengthened by
a perusal of the work alluded to, as to prove the theory of the political
economists.
Some works not so valuable may be said to lengthen people's days,
out it is by making the time employed in perusing those works drag on
very heavily.
When men exchange silver for gold, they give more silver because it
requires less labour to get it. But there are exceptions to this rule ; for

(back-gam mon.)
iii.
Sweet Fancy ! in thine arms, Oh, let me revel,
Though even horrors thou should'st conjure up,
For on a bone of pork—broil'd c-/a-devil—
I boldly ventured yesternight to sup.
half-and-half I quaffed a foaming cup
In fact, did all a nightmare to induce,
While the shrill whining of a neighbour's pup,
To which I had been reconciled by use,
Last night with my wild dreams did help to play the deuce-..
iv.
I dream'd that I beneath a fountain stood,
Far in the midst of some deserted plain,
And on my fever'd brow there came a flood
To cool the burning of my heated brain.
I woke ! and then, indeed, the truth was plain,
(Alas, how Fancy reason often clogs !)
The damaged roof was letting in the rain ;
Soak'd was my bed, my toes were cold as frogs—
For it was pelting down, like pitchforks, cats, and dogs !

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