Punch or The London charivari (4.1843)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

139

HcQal Intelligence.
_
If is whispered that the promising young junior, Mr. Smoothover, lias
applied for the coif. If he should obtain it, he will offer a cognovit for
the thousand pounds expense which the dignity entails, and he will give
rings with the Latin motto of " Curreatv* Ambulator " or, Hookev
Walker.
We have heard it stated as a fact, which may cr may not be relied !
upon, that Mr. Briefless has at length persuaded himself to print his
speeches at the bar in a cheap form, for general circulation His flights
of eloquence have generally been devoted to applications for rules to com-
pute ; but there have been one or two of his speeches on the more excit-
ing subject of outlawry. He purposes giving to the publication the
striking title of A Voice from the Bail Court. The speeches will be
corrected by himself, and will comprise four leaves of small octavo. He
intends dedicating them to the Usher, whose promptness in handing in the
affidavits has been very serviceable to Mr. Briefless daring the whole of
his professional existence.
We have heard that Mr. Flounder is preparing a new edition of Abbofi
on Shipping. It will bring dov. n the law to the end of last summer, includ-
ing the decision of Mr. Minshall on the case of the Anthracite against the :
Bachelor. The intricate question of salvage, which was mooted "on the |
picking up of a broken oar and a fractured skull by the Battersea water-
men, will be very elaborately entered into.

QUESTIONS FOR MEDICAL STUDENTS.
not to be found in their note-books.
What is the difference between the course of the femoral artery and
the second course of a civic dinner?
Is the triceps muscle a lineal descendant of Charon's watch-dog 1
Which is the more puzzling to Welsh students, the labyrinth of the ear,
or the Cretan labyrinth of Daedalus ?
Is the fenestra ovalis, or oval window, of the labyrinth framed and
glazed, or is it not ?
What is the area of the vestibule of the labyrinth ? and is it paved with
Roman tile or common brick ?
Judging from its construction, is it possible to break your neck by falling
down the " Scala Vestibuli," or staircase of the vestibule?
What is the relation of the aquseductus vestibuli to the semicircular
canals ?—Who are the directors of the latter ?—Price of shares in ditto ?
What sized craft can they float ? —Were they formed on the plan of the
Styx ?—hk>w do they stand affected with regard to railroads ?—And what
will be the effect upon them of Mr. Henson's Flying Machine ?
Are the sacs in the vestibule empty coal-sacks left there by the canal
bargemen ?—Or are they, as Breschet says, merely dust bags, containing
{•toconite or sweepings of the labyrinth ?
Whether would it be more repugnant to your inclinations, to forego the
pleasures of porter for a week, or in your examination at the college to be
captured on the great unipedal saltation (t. e. caught on the grand hop)
by a trap question in anatomy ?

WIDDICOMB as LORD ELLENBOROUGH.
In the new piece at Astley's, the part of Lord Ellenborough has been
assigned to Widdicomb. Nothing can exceed the effect of his entrance
on the back of an elephant, from which he reads the whole of the pro- j
clamations as originally issued by the Governor-General. Widdicomb 1
seems to have entered into the character of Lord Ellenborough with a
remarkable accuracy of conception. His calling on the troops to be firm
WLie it is as much as he can do to retain his own seat on the elephant's
back, is a magnificent touch of nature, which told immensely with the
audience. His justification of his policy to the low comedian of the piece,
and his bit of quiet nature when he walks down to the lamps and raps his
heel with a riding whip were not lost on the house ; while his undertoned
growl at the equestrians in the final procession, was a bit of smothered
feeling that will place him in the first rank of riding-masters. We
understand that Widdicomb was so desirous to preserve an air of reality,
and to give as much as possible an Indian air to his performance of the
part, that he rubbed his moustachios with Indian ink, and studied the
whole of the dialogue under the immediate direction of one of the Agents
of the East India Tea Company.

Works of Art.
We are happy to announce the great improvement that has lately been
made in the column at King's Cross. Within the last week the statue of
George the Fourth has been taken down.

Notices of Motion.
Mr. Joseph Hume, to move for an address of condolence to the country
on the birth of a Princess.

LITERARY AND LEARNED.

At the late meeting of the Royal Society, a paper was read "on the
reduction of metals by a solution of salts, wi Vn the voltaic circuit." It
was calculated that six ounces of Epsom salts would reduce one shilling
exactly one half; and the experiment was tried by sending for nine ounces,
when the shilling was reduced to threepence :—Thus proving the uniform
operation of the laws of chemists.
A member, speaking of the action of salt on silver begged to observe,
" that when exposed to the air, silver, while in contact with salt, is some-
times completely absorbed by some invisible influence. A servant had
left some plate on the kitchen dresser, (Hear) and happening to turn her
back, while the area door was open, it was found on her return that the
whole of the silver had either become fused in the atmospheric humidity,
or had been subjected to some species of voltaic action, (Hear). At all
events, it was no longer visible.
A member suggested, that it might have been the action of the salts.
The member who introduced the subject, said it might have been, par-
ticularly as the salt-cellars, which were also of silver, had disappeared
likewise.
Professor Toddledown. on being called upon to read a paper, took out
the Times, in which he seemed to be engrossed during the remainder
of the sitting. Mr. Twinkle—a new member—produced a copy of an
inscription on a stone in the Kensington-road. It ran thus, " li." After
some deliberation it was decided that the hieroglyphic represented the
distance from Hyde Park-corner, and was intended to designate one mile
and-a-half from the place alluded to.
The following donations were then announced.
Mr. Twinkle. Several Elgin marbles, being a selection from those
which Lord Elgin, when a boy, played at marbles with.
Professor Toddledown. A wheelbarrow-full of the earth dug from
under the Thames in forming the Tunnel. (This announcement was
I received with much cheering.)
Mr. Chaftington. A piece of wood, cut into the form of one of the
i blocks used for the wood-pavement in Oxford-street.
Thanks having been voted to everybody in general, and nobody in
particular, the meeting broke up.

BALLADS OF BLIGHTED HOPES.

I met her where the merry bird
At morning, noon, and night is heard ;
It was at Greenwich Park.
She'd come to hear soft music gush
From swallow, sparrow, tomtit, thrush,
I—to enjoy the lark.
I follow'd closely on her heel,
To where in country-dance and reel,
They rush'd their cares to soothe.
We stood together, hand-in-hand,
And soon were waltzing to the band
Of Algar's well-known Booth.
I swore to laugh at fortune's frowns,
Defying all the


ups and downs,

Which Time is sure to bring.
Together we declar'd we'd go,
Whether our lot be high or low,-
And got into a swing.
Now we are mounting to the sky,
Now down again to earth we fly,
Now balanc'd in the air ;
And, interrupted by the noise
Of cheering from surrounding boys,
Fidelity I swear.
We walk'd from show to show about,
I drinking freely Barclay's Stout ,
Ah 1 would I could refrain.
In station-house I woke next morn ;
She had been somehow from me torn:
We never met again 1 !