Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (5.1843)

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PUNCH'S THEATRICAL GALLERY.

MRS. GRIMSBY GREEN.

his very accomplished artist has for many years
cultivated that branch of the profession which
includes the broken-hearted wives, the distressed
mothers, and the assertors in general of the
incorruptibility of British females. la those
parts where the husband is in arrear with the
rent and the landlord takes the opportunity of
this little pecuniary irregularity to make im-
proper overtures to the wife, Mrs. Grimsby
Green is appalling in her denunciations of the
heartless recreant, who would use the paltry-
power of pampered and perverted wealth to pour
his blasting poison into the unwilling ear of a
poor a helpless—a defenceless—but still a virtuous woman.

The chief portion of the professional life of Mrs. Grimsby Green has
been passed in theatrical huts, fixed in the dark recesses of melo-dramatic
forests, exposed to the pitiless pelting of the property storm, and subject
to the howling of the (prompter's) elements—including the box of peas
(for hail), the whistle (for the wind), and the sheet-iron (for the thunder).

Perhaps the greatest point in the acting of Mrs. Grimsby Green is the
fervour with which she requests the lightning to have the goodness to
" blast the wretch who would insult the sex that gave him birth, and
endeavour to sting that helplessness which he ought rather to cherish.'"
In " bits" of this description she rises almost to sublimity, and she has
been known to abash the heavy villain to such an extent, that he has
been happy to hide his face in the folds of the woollen nightcap, which
seems essential to a stage smuggler—a character that always appears to
iliave a special design on Mrs. Grimsby Green's professional constancy.

THE MINISTERIAL WHITE BAIT DINNER.

(by our. own reporter..)

It is an annual custom of the Ministers to luxuriate, after the labours
of the session, in a "Day at Greenwich." Saturday last was appointed
for the grand " out"—would it might be understood in a different sense !—
of the Go vernment.

A boat belonging to the Watermen's Company was in attendance, and
the steam was soon got up ; Sir R. Peel pithily observing, that " there
could be no want of hot water, for they had plenty of it in every direc-
tion." The party being rather numerous, it was proposed to elect a chair-
man for the day, and Lord Stanley was unanimously called to the paddle-
box. The necessity for stooping, as he passed under one of the bridges,
induced him to report progress, and ask leave not to sit again, which was
at once granted him. As the vessel glided by the Temple stairs, and
shot along the side of the crazy pier, three cheers were proposed for
Lord Brougham.

Fun having been the order of the day, the illustrious guests entered
into facetious conversation with the crew, and Sir 11. Peel asked permis-
sion to steer, but the party would not allow him to guide them. Lord
Lyndhurst jokingly asked Sir F. Pollock whether lie would like to take
his place ; and Sir W. Follett insisted on the latter moving a little higher
up, for he was quite tired of remaining so long in one position. On
reaching Greenwich, a report arose that a wooden pier had been thrown
from the steps of the tavern, and some fears were expressed for Lord
Londonderry ; but it was found that the pier in question was to facilitate
the landing of the company. As the Ministers letc the vessel, the band
struck up " We met and we parted," wliichwas changed to the "Echo
Quadrilles," as the rear was brought up by the gentlemen who never
speak in Parliament but to say "Hear, hear " to all that falls from the
lips of their leaders. The party amused themselves for a short time
in the Parle, the Premier having proposed to "take a turn," which,
on the part of his immediate followers, was not at all objected to. One of
the most amusing things of the day was the seeing Sir 11. Peel and Lord
Stanley running very rapidly down the hill, and rolling over and over,
amid the laughter of their party, when they got to the bottom. The dinner
was of course sumptuous; and, though there were several sorts of fish,
Mr. Horace Twiss complained of being able to get " no plaice," amid
loud laughter.

The festivities were kept up till a
very late hour ; but we are unwilling to
pursue political parties into private life;
and we feel that though we may criticise -

them while sitting at the Board of§gggS| ^

Green Cloth, we have nothing to do.
with them at the tablo of white damask. j
We are not anion: those who charge1^

Ministers with robbing the country all v
through the Session, and going to
Greenwich at the end of it " to spend
the money."

The portrait that accompanies this brief account shows the lady in the
act of" withering " the heavy villain, by one of those appeals to the sky-
borders, for which Mrs. Grimsby Green is so remarkable. Her denun-
ciation of the " monster who" &c., &c.—is usually followed by an assertion
of confiding which is generally repaid by a chord in the orchestra, a knock
ut the door—and the timely bursting in of one who tells the heavy man to
•"draw"—which, by-the-bye, he seldom does—at least in that sense of
the word which is best understood by the treasurer. Mrs. Grimsby
Oreen is equally great in the Meg Merrilies and Helen Macgregor school,
and her majestic use of the clotlies-prop—an invariable appendage to the
line alluded to—has been pronounced perfect, by one of those who have
■witnessed it.

A new Appointment.

Mr. Coluurn has been graciously pleased to appoint Lord William
Lennox as his joiner and undertaker in ordinary, in the room of Sir ,
Edward Lytton Bulwer, dismissed. |

PUNCH'S LABOURS OF HERCULES.

LABOUR THE TWELFTH.—HOW HERCULES TRIUMPHED OVER THE
ENGLISH PLUTO AND. CERBERUS.—HIS LAST GREAT WORK.

Between the son of Jupiter and Alcmena, and the hero who presides
over these pages, there is in certain particulars a very strong resemblance.
Punch, like Hercules, settles everything with his club ; and if he does
not destroy reptiies and beasts of prey, he knocks bailiffs, constables,
churchwardens, and other monsters of that class, daily on the head.
Punch, moreover, triumphs over Jack Ketch, as also did Hercules ; and
his concluding achievement is a victory over the enemy of man. How
far in this respect he and Hercules are analogous, the reader will learn
ere he is ten minutes older.

There was once a Tartarus in England. A Tartarus it truly was ;
although in one very material particular it differed from the place where
the lawyers ai-e. It was not the habitation of feives, but of Lazarus. It
was the place of punishment for the Poor.

The place of punishment for the Poor ! Why, cries the reader, what a
set of heartless, cruel, impious miscreants our forefathers must have been !
Whether they were or not, such a place had they established in the land ;
and the name t lereof was " The Union Workhouse."

How, it will be asked, came this great national crime to be perpetrated
in the face of Heaven ? There had sprung up in England a sect of wiseacres
who were called Political Economists. Economist is often used as a mild
synonym for miser ; and these persons were in fact Political Misers, 'lhe
great question with them was how to maintain the poor at the least
possible expense. Not to keep them at all would have been the plan most
to their taste ; but experience had proved that people, when starving to
death, are apt to become unruly—to demolish houses, burn hay-ricks,
cut throats, and do other mischief; and the Political Economists had a