Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (5.1843)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

JWetropoIfam Improbemcms.

Punch understands that a new square is about to be built in a fashion-
able part of the metropolis, and that it is to be called, after himself, Punch
Square. He need not say he is very proud of the honour. The subjoined
description of the contemplated square and vicinity has been forwarded to
his office.

Punch Square will be formed by edifices adapted for the residence of the
superior classes.

In the centre of the square will be erected a colossal statue of
Mr. Punch, for the execution of which the services of an eminent sculptor
have been encaged.

O O

The following spacious and handsome streets will open into the square :

On the north, Joke Street ; on the south, Jibe Street; on the east,
Banter Street ; on the west, Fun Street.

Out of Joke Street will proceed :—

1. Guffaw Street.

2. Caricature Street, with Oddity Row, and Quizzicality Crescent.

Jibe Street, which will be connected with

3. Jenkins Street, whence Fop's Alley will conduct to

4. Noodle Street.

Into Banter Street will open—-

5. Widdicomb Street ; wherein will be situated Nathan Place.

THE CHAMPION OF THE RING.

From Fun Street, whence will proceed Punster's Alley, there will be
thoroughfares into —

6. Chuckle Street, out of which will lead Grinning Lane, into

7. Riddle Street, with Conundrum Buildings.

8. Quip Street, terminating in Crank Corner.

The above, in Punch's opinion, will be a great improvement in Street
nomenclature, which has hitherto displayed great poverty of invention,
almost every new street which has been built being a namesake of an old
one in another part of town.

J=tobum (Stonum.

The following paragraph, in the account of the Tooley Street Fire, has
boon going the round of the papers :—

" It is rather singular that the church was infested by a hoard of a peculiar species of
rats. They were completely black, closely resembling moles, and had been so for a
number of years. During the raging of the fire, they were to be seen running about in
all directions, and they were even heard to get on the organ and sound itM by so frequently
running over it in their fright."

Punch wishes to know who blew the bellows?

JENKINS ON "DRAMATIC CONSTRUCTION."

" Much is continually talked, both by the critic and the dramatist, about construction.
Abstractedly considered, there exists no necessity for mere construction. All the art
required by the dramatist is the power to prevent ennui."—Morning Post, Atigvst 15.

Very right, Jenkins. Thus, when the future author shall be puzzled
to work out a due connexion of incident, let him pop in the gap the song
of Hot Codlins, or a Hornpipe in Wooden Clogs.

Specimen of Xmcid Writing:.

The Spectator is " nothing, if not critical," ajid nothing particular
when it is. In speaking of the state of Ireland, it says that there is some
hope for the future, but that

" The hope is based upon no very positive grounds—the general admission that some-
thing must be done, coupled with the evident absence of very obstinately prejudged con-
clusions " I!

Lucid rather i

Nummary of 3pund)'s ^arltameut.

-Dinner at half-past six ; supper at

Ordered to lie on tiie Table.-
one ; anchovies at three.

To be read this Day Six Mo n't us.—The butcher's book, the Income-
tax papers, and Lord W. Lennox's Taft-Hunter.

Brought up to the Bar and Reprimanded Mr. Roebuck, upon

receiving a silk gown.

Si^ns of Sporting.

An astronomical correspondent informs us, that since the first of Sep-
tember, there has been a great increase of shooting stars ; and that in the
North he has repeatedly seen Ursa Major, with his two pointers.

I«eft his Home,

A gentleman from the neighbourhood of Bow Church, Cheapside. Had
on, when he left, a gambroon shooting jacket, cord breeches and gaiters.
He quitted his residence early on the First of September, with a double-
barrelled gun and a spaniel—and has been missing ever since.

Advertisement.

A master workman, who has plastered the Duke of Wellington, rough-
casted Lord Campbell, pointed Lord Ellenborough, white-washed the
King of Hanover, and slated Friend Bright, is anxious for a few jobs in
the same line. Apply, post-paid, to II. B , House of Lords.

A BALL A.D OF BEDLAM.

0, Lady, wake !—the azure moon
Is rippling in the verdant skies,

The owl is warbling his soft tune,
Awaiting but thy snowy eyes.

The joys of future years are past,
To-morrow's hopes have fled away ;

Still let us love, and e'en at last
We shall be happy yesterday.

The-early beam of rosy night
Drives off the ebon morn afar,

Whilst through the murmur of the light
The huntsman winds his mad guitar.

Then Lady, wake ! my brigantine

Pants, neighs, and prances to be free ;

Till the creation I am thine,

Lo some r

ich desert fly with me.

Not done with yet.

The papers contain an advertisement for a writing-master to a large
school. Lord William Lennox has been recommended to apply, from his
known partiality to copy books.

THE JENKINS NUMBER.

In answer to ten thousand subscribers, Punch replies that unceasing
efforts are still made to present " The Jenkins Number," with a weight
and in a style worthy of the nuisance to be abolished.

Court—Jpasfjtonable.

We are enabled to state, upon exclusive authority, that her Majesty
has determined upon not visiting Gravesend this autumn. Baron Nathan,
of the Rosherville Embassy, went with the Queen to Blackwall on
Wednesday, but the result of the journey is not made known. He speaks
of the Queen as being rather fast, but well calculated to stem any tide.

Should the ancient sports of England be revived this year by any of the
nobility, Lord Brougham has offered to become the Human Quintain,
from his wonderful knack in turning round, especially when attacked, and
hitting right and left at his assailants.

good reason to be alarmed.

There has been a deal of speculation about the cause of the sudden
disappearance of the French Princes ; but it is not much to be wondered
at, when it is known they were invited to hear the Queen's Speech on
the prorogation of Parliament.

LITERARY RIDDLE. „

Who are the two favourite authors of Lord W. Lennox s & TEELE

and BORROW. _____

Doneaster St. Xsegfer.

The Ramoneur Association beg leave to acquaint the public that there
will be a sixpenny siveep every day until further notice.

i the precinct of Whitefriars, in the city

Printed by Messrs. Bradbury and Evans, Lombard Street; in the precinct .

of London,and published by Joseph Smith, of No. 6J, St. John sW ood Terrace, Regent .Park. .a
thf Parish of Alarylebone, in the county of Middlesex, at the Offii e, No. 194, *trand, in the Paruk
of St. Clement Danes, ia the county of Middlesex—Saturday. September 2, 1843.

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