Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (5.1843)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CIIA1UVARI.

THE SSNG1NG MOUSE.

That which may be called the theatrical season, will be opened
with more than usual spirit is, we are delighted to say, made evident
by the enterprise of all the managers. There is not a man among
them who, for the benefit of a gentle and discerning public, does not
j try to get the best of his competitor. We give some of the letters—
which, with the answers, have been handed to us—to that rarus mus
in terns, the singing mouse.

The first letter is from the " sole lessee " of Drury Lane Theatre.

ALFRED BUNN, ESQ., TO THE SINGING MOUSE.

" Dear Sir,—As you are now moving in the very best society, that
is, going round in your cage every day before Royal Highnesses,

ment of Drury Lane Theatre. "When I say embarked, sir, there
comes to my recollection the history of Robinson Crusoe. He (you
may already have heard it) made to himself a raft, with which he
visited, day by day, his shipwrecked vessel, striving to gain therefrom
all he could of stores, before the craft went entirely to pieces. You,
sir, will apply the simile.

" Drury Lane, sir, is open to you ; and as I intend to be almost
wholly operatic, you will be as snug with me as in a double Gloucester.
, I think an opera on Whittington and his Cat would, under the circum-
stances, draw. You, of course, would be primo tenore, and, as such,
have it all your own way, gnawing the cat to pieces. Say the word,
and Fitzball shall wait upon you for instructions.

" Yours, dear Mouse, Alfred Bunn.

"P.S.—I hear that your voice is sweet and limited. This, I think,
j an advantage : for, in these days, depend upon it, singers, and actors
] too, must sing small."

THE SXNGING MOUSE TO ALFRED BUNN, ESQ.

" Sir,—My terms are fifty pounds of Stilton per night; the best
Stilton, too ; with a private box of wax-candles.—Yours,

" The Singing Mouse.

" P.S.—I do not like the subject proposed for the opera : and as I
well know the proper prerogative of a singer, namely, to be the only
one thing thought of, I must make it a sine qua non, a matter of self-
preservation—just as one prima donna sacrifices another—that before
I enter the doors of Drury Lane every cat therein shall be exter-
' minated."

ALFRED BUNN, ESQ., TO THE SINGING MOUSE.

" Dear Sir,—You need fear very little from the cats of Drury-
Lane. An article in my lease compels me to keep a certain number;
nevertheless, as, in the patent houses, there must necessarily be so
j many cats who never catch mice, you will, I think, run very little
danger.

" Your terms are high, Stilton is Stilton u.cw-a-days ; and then

fifty pounds ! Let me meet you half-way. Say five-and-twenty of real
Dutch ; and for the wax candles, an unlimited run of the oil lamps.

"On these terms, I shall be delighted to see you. John Cooper
will bring your written engagement, which you will favour me by
biting your name into. "Yours truly,

" Clier souris,

"(I always talked to Malibran in French,}

" Alfred Bunn.

" P.S.—If you compel me to your terms, I must close with you, and
compel the other mice in my establishment to live upon the property
cheeses; that is, the cheeses made of wood, and used in hospitable-
farces."

THE SINGING MOUSE TO ALFRED BUNN, ESQ.

" Dear Sir,—I am fixed on Stilton—inexorable as to my private box.
of wax candles. I never refused (I own it) yfillow soap and sawdust
before I found my voice ; but I consider every note in my larynx is-
worth at least five thousand in my pocket. Your answer—Yes, or
No. "Yours truly,

"The Singing Mouse.

"P.S.—Send answer by bearer, as I am about to open a letter
just received from Co vent-Garden."

ALFRED BUNN, ESQ., TO THE SINGING MOUSE.

" Dear Sir,—I cannot comply with your terms. I mean no threat,,
but give this intelligence as a friend. The town will never run after
tiro wonders at once. Private advices have this moment reached me
that a Dancing Weasel has just come up in France. Your answer,,
or I start to-day for Paris. " Yours affectionately,

"Alfred Bunn."

Up to the time of our going to press, no answer had arrived ; and'
we are therefore (in our present Number at least) unable to give the-
result of the negotiation.

VICTORIA'S VOYAGES FOR THE NEXT
TEN YEARS.

he ability of looking into futurity is now
becoming very common. There are at least
half-a-dozen newspapers, each of which
keeps a prophet at a weekly salary. These
wizards will tell the winning horse by the-
mere sight of his beans ; will predict what
mare shall have the plate, from one peep
at her hay-rack. We, too, will prophesy^
but in a more pregnant theme than any oi
Newmarket or Doncaster.

A very small way indeed do those people-
look into a mill-stone, who believe that Her
s® Majesty Queen Victoria will bound her voy-
ages by the two trips to Eu and Brussels,
They are nothing : no more than the first paddling of a royal cygnet
to the continuous and stately swimming of a full-grown swan. It is
Her Majesty's destiny—and if she knows nothing of it, ice do—to see
the world. Hence, she will make a yearly trip to some new country..
We subjoin the arrangements for the next-ten years.

1844.—A voyage to Lisbon, to see the Queen of Portugal; am",
if Spain bave recovered her wits, and sent for Espartero, that the
country may have at least one honest man there—the Queen will
proceed to Cadiz, and thence to Madrid.

1845.—A voyage up the Mediterranean ; thence to visit the King
of Naples, and so 011, to have a little talk about Puseyism with the
Pope of Rome.

1840.—A flying call at St. Petersburg.

1847-—A voyage to Constantinople, to see the Grand Turk ; thei'o
and then (according to the French papers) to sign a monopolising
treaty for England for turbans and sherbet.

1848.—A voyage to New York ; where her Majesty (accompanied
by her Minister for Foreign Affairs) will take with her receipts for
those of our American debtors who may want them.

1849.—A call at Tahiti on Queen Pomare.

1850.—Canton, to see her " Brother ot the Moon."

1851.—New Zealand.

1852.—South Pole.

1853.—North ditto.

Should any new intelligence arrive as to the voyage of 1354, we
wil! print it in ?, second edition.