Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari (5.1843)

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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

PUNCH'S CONDENSED MAGAZINE.

0R conviction has long been that
Brevity is the soul of wit, and the
soul of wit being represented by
Punch, it comes to follow that Punch
and brevity are nearly synonymous.
Everything curtailing space or time,
is in the ascendant. Cunning cooks
condense many tureens of soup into
one small pill-box : railways shorten
joui-neys to imperceptible distances ;
jokes, which would formerly have
elaborated into a dozen volumes, are
collected into one of our numbers :
Lord W. Lennox saves even an au-
thor's labour by taking his chapters
ready made, as the man did his
brooms : Sir Robert Peel, out-
Heroding the closest stenography, is enabled to express the whole of his
opinions by the single letter I: the seasons at our theatres are brought
down to a few nights : in fact, high-pressure condensation is everywhere
the rage. As such, we announce our intended magazine; which will con-
tain numerous continuous papers and light articles, of which we give
specimens: together with an attempt to depict the state of the mind
en joyed by the reader when he has finished them.

THE CONDENSED MAGAZINE.

No. I. April 1844. Price Id.

contents

The li fk and Adventures ok Walter

Flyleaf—Chapter V.
Thk Ramshoodra . From "Minutes in
Madras."

Spurting Life. By Lord W. Lennox.

By Lady Curaington.—

Du Courcy.

Chapter IX.

Rantwellia.va ; or, Anecdotes of \V. J.
Rantwell, Comedian.

&c. &e. &c.

LONDON: PUNCH, 194, STRAND.

I.—LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF WALTER FLYLEAF
Chapter V.

of the wanner in which walter arrived at cam be r well.

It was a gay and bustling scene at the Elephant and Castle, when the
coach, which was conveying our hero to his destination, stopped there.
Retailers of goods were plying their various trades, ottering knives and
annuals to the passengers ; industrious artisans were forming clean tho-
roughfares from one side to the other of the muddy roads ; whilst on the
stalls at the edge of the pavement, fruit was disposed in small pyramids,
the base being composed of four apples, with one at the top, making in all
five, to tempt the passers-by into purchasing them. The coach stopped for
ten minutes, and then went on.

The roads now became less thronged with passengers. Then gardens
appeared before some of the houses, as if in mockery of the broken hearts
that inhabited them : gardens, in which the spring's young buds broke
from their winter cerecloth, to struggle amidst the poisonous exhalations
of the teeming air. At length the coach stopped. As Walter got down
from the roof, he felt that the last tie which bound him to Gracechurcli-
street was broken. But this was nothing to his bitter anguish when, as
lie searched his pocket to meet the demand of the driver for his fare, he dis-
covered that he had left his purse, with the money and the lock of Harriet's
hair, behind him ! He uttered one wild cry of despair, and fell fainting
upon the turfless ground of the green !

II.—THE RAMSHOODRA. From " Minutes in Madras."

" Burrow sahib " (master,) said one of my dandies (boatmen,) as he
handed me my chatter (a large umbrella.)

Being anxious to meet Rusty Khan before the monsoon, I took the
umbrella ; and ordering one of my kitmudtgars to attend me, 1 started off
in the jungle, with my ghee in a kidgeree pot.

1 had heard the Ramshoodra was at Bumbleabad, and resolved to over
take him : 1 therefore got a budgeroiv (a travelling barge,) and, after my
tiffin, left the jungle for the nearest ghaut (landing place,) which was at
the end of some paddy fields. We had a pleasant- journey ; but on arriving
Ht Bumbleabad I found the object of my trip had quitted that place the
day before, i was received by the munchee (interpreter,) of whom I
inquired where he was gone'! He replied " Bunyee ramsuds," (he has
cut his stick.)

1 never went near Bumbleabad again.

III. SPORTING LIFE. BY LORD XV. LENNOX.

What equals 011 earth the delight of the huntsman—for whom foams so
riehly the cup of delight ! Oh ! this is a pleasure that's worthy of princes,
and health in its wanderings will ever be found. Hark, follow, hark !
hark, follow, hark ! hark, follow hark, hark, hark.

Bright Chanticleer proclaims the morn ; and the dusky night rides
down the sky, which ushers it in, as the lark springs from the corn and
proclaims that this day a stag must die. And when the rosy morn appear-

ing paints with gold the verdant lawn, to the fields we repair; and as the
forester sounds the cheerful horn, we hie to the woods away.

And when the huntsman rests, the chace being o'er, although life is
darkened o'er with woe, we bid the ruddy nectar flow. The glasses
sparkle on the board, the wine is ruby bright, and makes a mortal half
divine. What joys are the life of a huntsman surrounding !

IV.—DE COURCY. BY LADY CURSINGTON.

Chapter IX.

The season finished, and with the other delicate annuals of Curzon-
street, De Courcy sought the blue and sunny Italy. He was strolling one
morning through the costly galleries of the Palazzo Pitti, at Florence,
when Vavasour suddenly stood before him.

" You here ? " exclaimed Courcy.

" You see me," said the gay Vavasour, grasping the hand of his friend.
" Where are you staying ? "

" At the Albergo d'Inghilterra—and you?"

" Out of the town—the Palazzo Bruciato, near the Porta San Gallo :
it is an excellent house, although rather too warm for summer. Do you
like Florence ?"

" Passablement: the paved streets are pleasant for travellers, but bad
for the horses. What brings you here l. "

" Lady Harriett. She is staying near Fresole."

" Indeed !" said Courcy ; " we will pay our respects together then.''

And taking his friend's arm they entered the Cafe Strezzi, and smoked
a cigar together.

V.—RANTWELL I ANA,

or anecdotes of w. j. rantwell, comedian.—(Continued.)

One night at Bath, when the treasury ran very low, Rantwell whispered
to Briggs, who was then performing Sir Peter Teazle, that although it
was winter, there did not appear a prospect of getting much salary that
week. Singularly enough, the tragedy of De Mom fort was played in the
following week.

O11 April 2, 1804, Rantwell, having suffered for some weeks from
nettle-rash, played Sir Francis Wronyhead. O11 the following day he
wrote to the manager, Mr. Praps, as follows :—

" My Dear Sir,

" 1 am sorry I was not at home this morning w hen you called ;
but if you will favour me with another call to-morrow at the same hour,
1 shall be at your service.

" Yours, very truly, " W. J. R "

This is a remarkable instance of the minute attention to business which
characterises all Rantwell's transactions.

The reader having come to the conclusion of the Magazine, lays it
down, much delighted with its contents, and highly pleased with periodical
literature generally, from its charming variety. And when he begins to
reflect upon what lie has read, he pictures Walter Flyleaf starting in the
budyerow to call upon De Courcy, and when Lord William Lennox has left
De Courcy with his friend at Florence, where Rantwell has been perform-
ing, then Walter Flyleaf returns ; and, finally, the whole of the characters
join hands and dance round the bewildered reader in one never-ending
and entangled whirl, until his brain reels, and his ideas finally involve
themselves in a knot of elaborate and inexplicable confusion.