DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.49271#0187
The KababJsh, a Sudan Arab tribe
125
men have married outside their own khasm beyt. Khuwadim, sister of the Sheykh of the
Berara, considered herself to be a relative of the lady Halima, wife of Sheykh 'Alt wad
et-T6m, because Haltma’s mother’s grandmother was a Berara woman and doubtless a
member of the Berara Sheykh’s family. The Berara had their ferik some six miles from
Showa, but watered at the wells at Showa. Khuwadim occasionally came over with the
cattle, when she always visited the lady Halima’s tent. She was received with great
honour, her hostess getting off her couch to salute her.
There is no doubt that the influence of the wife’s family (and hence the mother’s) is
felt strongly. When 'Alt wad et-Tom first met us he expressed surprise at seeing the wife
of a man who was obviously not in poor circumstances travelling with her husband. He
asked how the mother-in-law’s permission had been obtained to take her daughter so far
from home. Certainly such permission would not be given him, nor would he expect it.30
A further example of the mother’s influence in the choice of a husband for the daughter is
seen in the story of Abu Zayd el-Hilalt, given on page 167 sq. The sheykh, one of whose
daughters El-Hilali sought as wife, could not accede to his guest’s request without the
consent of his wife, and this his bint 'amm — his first wife — refused in spite of the valour
of the hero and the large dowry he offered.
Children are likely to come under the influence of their mother’s family rather than
that of their father’s, for the tents of the wealthier men are always crowded with female
relatives of the wife; visits from the husband’s female relatives are more ceremonial.
This does not apply to the husband’s mother, who frequently lives with her son, and takes
a great interest in her grandchildren. The male relatives of the wife, except her father’s
brother and father’s brother’s son, will also visit the tent freely, and the women do not
cover their faces before them; they will even eat in the presence of their brothers, fathers,
or khal. Yet when the son of the khal approaches a marriageable age he will be treated
with respect, that is to say his father’s sister would never eat in his presence, and although
she need not avoid him entirely, she would probably not speak to him face to face or
address him directly.31 As far as we could understand, a man is much more likely to pet
his sister’s children than his brother’s children, (he has not the free entry of his brother’s
30 Another instance of the influence of the wife’s family was seen in the behaviour of Muhammad et-Tom and his
wife the lady Sakina. She had gone from Showa to Omdurman to visit the tomb of Ibrahim el-Kabbashi in order to
pray for a son (cf. p. 154). While she was away her little daughter divided her time between Muhammad’s other
wife and her own maternal aunt. Word came that the lady Sakina had returned, and I accordingly visited her tent,
but the lady Sakina had not yet arrived, though the child was there wearing a bright yellow dress (she usually wore
nothing but the leather girdle known as rahat) and a couple of ivory bracelets, gifts from her mother. The child was
whispering to her father of all the wonderful things her mother had brought back from the great city. Muhammad
explained to me that his wife had dismounted at her father’s tent at the other end of the ferik, about a mile away,
and though he was eagerly waiting to see her, he was in no way annoyed or surprised by the delay. B. Z. S.
31 Cf. infra, p. 126 sq.
125
men have married outside their own khasm beyt. Khuwadim, sister of the Sheykh of the
Berara, considered herself to be a relative of the lady Halima, wife of Sheykh 'Alt wad
et-T6m, because Haltma’s mother’s grandmother was a Berara woman and doubtless a
member of the Berara Sheykh’s family. The Berara had their ferik some six miles from
Showa, but watered at the wells at Showa. Khuwadim occasionally came over with the
cattle, when she always visited the lady Halima’s tent. She was received with great
honour, her hostess getting off her couch to salute her.
There is no doubt that the influence of the wife’s family (and hence the mother’s) is
felt strongly. When 'Alt wad et-Tom first met us he expressed surprise at seeing the wife
of a man who was obviously not in poor circumstances travelling with her husband. He
asked how the mother-in-law’s permission had been obtained to take her daughter so far
from home. Certainly such permission would not be given him, nor would he expect it.30
A further example of the mother’s influence in the choice of a husband for the daughter is
seen in the story of Abu Zayd el-Hilalt, given on page 167 sq. The sheykh, one of whose
daughters El-Hilali sought as wife, could not accede to his guest’s request without the
consent of his wife, and this his bint 'amm — his first wife — refused in spite of the valour
of the hero and the large dowry he offered.
Children are likely to come under the influence of their mother’s family rather than
that of their father’s, for the tents of the wealthier men are always crowded with female
relatives of the wife; visits from the husband’s female relatives are more ceremonial.
This does not apply to the husband’s mother, who frequently lives with her son, and takes
a great interest in her grandchildren. The male relatives of the wife, except her father’s
brother and father’s brother’s son, will also visit the tent freely, and the women do not
cover their faces before them; they will even eat in the presence of their brothers, fathers,
or khal. Yet when the son of the khal approaches a marriageable age he will be treated
with respect, that is to say his father’s sister would never eat in his presence, and although
she need not avoid him entirely, she would probably not speak to him face to face or
address him directly.31 As far as we could understand, a man is much more likely to pet
his sister’s children than his brother’s children, (he has not the free entry of his brother’s
30 Another instance of the influence of the wife’s family was seen in the behaviour of Muhammad et-Tom and his
wife the lady Sakina. She had gone from Showa to Omdurman to visit the tomb of Ibrahim el-Kabbashi in order to
pray for a son (cf. p. 154). While she was away her little daughter divided her time between Muhammad’s other
wife and her own maternal aunt. Word came that the lady Sakina had returned, and I accordingly visited her tent,
but the lady Sakina had not yet arrived, though the child was there wearing a bright yellow dress (she usually wore
nothing but the leather girdle known as rahat) and a couple of ivory bracelets, gifts from her mother. The child was
whispering to her father of all the wonderful things her mother had brought back from the great city. Muhammad
explained to me that his wife had dismounted at her father’s tent at the other end of the ferik, about a mile away,
and though he was eagerly waiting to see her, he was in no way annoyed or surprised by the delay. B. Z. S.
31 Cf. infra, p. 126 sq.