DOI issue:
January to June, 1844
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0090
PUNCH, OR THE LOXDOX CHARIVARI.
93
Louis XVI. This is the twenty-fourth pretender of the species who
has asserted that his father was the august victim of the Temple.
■Beyond his pretensions, the poor creature is said to be pretty harm-
less ; lie is accompanied by one or two old women, who declare they
recognise in him the Dauphin : he does not make any attempt to
seize upon his throne by force of arms, but waits until Heaven
•shall conduct him to it.
"If his Majesty comes to Paris, we presume he will take up his
quarters in the palace of Charenton.
" We have not before alluded to certain rumours which have been
afloat (among the lowest canaille, and the vilest estaminets, of the Me-
tropolis), that a notorious personage—why should we hesitate to
mention the name of the Prince John Thomas Napoleon ? —has
entered France with culpable intentions, and revolutionary views.
The Moniteur of this morning, however, confirms the disgraceful fact.
A pretender is on our shores ; an armed assassin is threatening our
peaceful liberties; a wandering, homeless cut-throat, is robbing on
our highways ; and the punishment of his crime awaits him. Let no
considerations of the past deter that just punishment : it is the duty
of the legislator to provide for the future. Let the full powers of the
law be brought against him, aided by the stern justice of the public
force. Let him be tracked, like a wild beast, to his lair, and meet
the fate of one. But the sentence has, ere this, been certainly
executed. The brigand, we hear, has been distributing (without any |
effect) pamphlets among the low ale-houses and peasantry of the j
department of the Upper Rhine (in which he lurks) ; and the police
have an easy means of tracking his footsteps.
"Corporal Crane, of the Gendarmerie, is on the track of the unfor-:
tunate young man. His attempt will only serve to show the folly of j
Pretenders, and the love, respect, regard, fidelity, admiration,!
reverence, and passionate personal attachment in which we hold our
beloved Sovereign."
Second Edition !—Capture of the Prince !
"A courier has just arrived at the Tuileries with a report, that after j
a scuffle between Corporal Crane and the 'Imperial Army,' in a!
water-barrel, whither the latter had retreated, victory has remained
with the former. A desperate combat ensued in the first place in a
hay-loft, whence the Pretender was ejected with immense loss. He is
now a prisoner—and we dread to think what his fate may be ! It
will warn future aspirants, and give Europe a lesson which it is not
likely to forget. Above all, it will set beyond a doubt the regard,
respect, admiration, reverence, and adoration which we all feel for
our Sovereign."
Third Edition !
" A second courier has arrived—the infatuated Crane has made
common cause with the Prince, and for ever forfeited the respect of
Frenchmen. A detachment of the 520th Leger has marched in pur-!
suit of the Pretender and bis dupes. Go, Frenchmen, go and conquer !
Remember that it is our rights you guard, our homes which you
march to defend ; our laws which are confided to the points of your
unsullied bayonets ;—above all, our dear, dear Sovereign, around
whose throne you rally !
" Our feelings overpower us. Men of the 520th remember your
watchword is Gemafpes,—your countersign, Yai.my."
"The Emperor of Russia and his distinguished family quitted the
Tuileries this day. His Imperial Majesty embraced his Majesty the
King of the French with tears in his eyes, and conferred upon their j
RR.HH., the Princes of Nemours and Joinville, the grand cross of
the Order of the Blue Eagle."
"His Majesty passed a review of the Police force—the venerable
monarch was received with deafening cheers by this admirable and
disinterested body of men. Those cheers were echoed in all French
hearts : long, long may our beloved Prince be among us to receive
them!"
foreign JFntdltgence.
We understand that the celebrated case of the two Ivilkenny cats_
who, shut together in a garret, fought each other until nothing of them
remained but their tails,—has been under the serious consideration of the
Five Powers, with a view to its application to the present state of Spain.
It has, consequently, been resolved upon that no foreign intercourse
whatever shall be permitted with that country for the next five years.
"That time elapsed, it will be curious to know how much will remain of all
parties of the Spanish, Bets run that nothing will be found but their
caoustaclues :
THE NUN OF BERMONDSEY.
taking the Veil.—(Siblhorpe fecit.)
In the Morning Papers we find this advertisement :—
/CONVENT of MERCY, Bermondsey.—On Thursday, Feb. 15, a LADY
will receive from Bishop Griffiths the RELIGIOUS VEIL and the HOLY HABIT
of our BLESSED LADY of MERCY, in the Church of the Most Holy Trinity, Ber-
mondsey. The ceremony will commence at 12 o'clock precisely. Tickets may be roa-
chased at the following Catholic Booksellers, &c, &c.
"We really think the show—considering it is made a purchasable
recreation—a very shameful interference with the privileges of that
admirable actress, Miss Kelly. It will of course be in the vivid
recollection of at least half-a-dozen enthusiasts who visited that lady's
jewel-case of a theatre, (No. 42^ Dean-street, Soho,) that the actress
has the sole acting right of The Sister of Charity. She has played it at
least a hundred times for " hire and reward " as the statute runs ; sh°>
was, moreover, the original Sister, and has, inalienably, a copyright
in the sympathies and tears of a British public for that character.
What, then, is to be said of the Manageress (whoever she mar
be) of the theatrical Convent of Mercy, Bermondsey? Is it fair, we
ask, to pirate the white veil of a sister actress ? Of course, had not
the exhibition been advertised as one of the amusements of the
day, we should have passed it in silence : but we cannot suffer
such unfair opposition without a word of protest. And why, we
ask, sell tickets for the exhibition ? Surely, Bishop Griffiths, like Mr.
Macready or any other theatrical star, does not require enormous
terms for his acting on the occasion ? Why should the Abbess of
the Convent set herself up against Miss Kelly, the rightful Abbess of
Dean-street ? We ask of the Lord Chamberlain, is the Convent
licensed for theatrical representations? If not, we trust Miss Kelly
will take her legal remedy.
We had written thus far, when a letter was brought us. Re-
cognising a female hand, we, of course, dropt our pen, and broke the
seal.
" Mr. Punch,—I am just comeback, with my two grand-daughters,
Heloise and Susannah, trolloping all the way from Bermondsey.
They told me as how they had bought tickets for The Sister of Mercy,
and as I always loved a play dearly, and they told me it would no
doubt be very cutting, I drest myself for the theatre. Well, sir,
knowing nothing of Bermondsey, or indeed anything of the play-
houses on that side of the water, I didn't know where I was taken
till I found myself near the stage, as I thought, and the show about
to begin. I then wanted to buy a bill of the play and some oranges,
but, look where I would, couldn't see any woman. Well, sir, the
music began, and a young lady—a very pretty creature, I must say—
drest in white muslin and crowned with white roses, came on. There
was a deal of ceremony gone through, and Heloise sobbed, and
Susannah blubbered ; but I told them to be quiet for a couple of
noodles, for they were only looking at a show. How, sir, could I
think otherwise, when we had paid our money for tickets (according
to an advertisement) to see the whole affair? Well, Mr. Punch,
judge my astonishment when I found out that there was no sham in
the matter—that the real nun had been advertised just like the last
mermaid, or the Jibbeway Indians !
"Well, sir, my object in writing to you is to ask if these things are
licensed by Act of Parliament, and, if not, by what means can I get
my money back again ? I should, of course, expect to pay to see
Miss Vincent, or any other person 'of domestic tragedy ' as a nun,
because she's one of the stage people, and gets her bread by it ; but
Miss Crudden (for that, I find by the papers, is the nun of Ber-
mondsey's name), or any other real nun, ought not to meddle with the
living of the noor players.
" Your's, ilfr. Punch,
"Hannah Stiffback."
"P.S. I'd forgot to say that since the show Susannah does nothing
but sigh ' to take vows' of some sort, and Heloise has dropt more
than one hint of retiring from the world for ever. Now, sir, what
these sights may work in the brains of foolish girls nobody can tell
Nuns may become so common, that honest men may soon want wives."
93
Louis XVI. This is the twenty-fourth pretender of the species who
has asserted that his father was the august victim of the Temple.
■Beyond his pretensions, the poor creature is said to be pretty harm-
less ; lie is accompanied by one or two old women, who declare they
recognise in him the Dauphin : he does not make any attempt to
seize upon his throne by force of arms, but waits until Heaven
•shall conduct him to it.
"If his Majesty comes to Paris, we presume he will take up his
quarters in the palace of Charenton.
" We have not before alluded to certain rumours which have been
afloat (among the lowest canaille, and the vilest estaminets, of the Me-
tropolis), that a notorious personage—why should we hesitate to
mention the name of the Prince John Thomas Napoleon ? —has
entered France with culpable intentions, and revolutionary views.
The Moniteur of this morning, however, confirms the disgraceful fact.
A pretender is on our shores ; an armed assassin is threatening our
peaceful liberties; a wandering, homeless cut-throat, is robbing on
our highways ; and the punishment of his crime awaits him. Let no
considerations of the past deter that just punishment : it is the duty
of the legislator to provide for the future. Let the full powers of the
law be brought against him, aided by the stern justice of the public
force. Let him be tracked, like a wild beast, to his lair, and meet
the fate of one. But the sentence has, ere this, been certainly
executed. The brigand, we hear, has been distributing (without any |
effect) pamphlets among the low ale-houses and peasantry of the j
department of the Upper Rhine (in which he lurks) ; and the police
have an easy means of tracking his footsteps.
"Corporal Crane, of the Gendarmerie, is on the track of the unfor-:
tunate young man. His attempt will only serve to show the folly of j
Pretenders, and the love, respect, regard, fidelity, admiration,!
reverence, and passionate personal attachment in which we hold our
beloved Sovereign."
Second Edition !—Capture of the Prince !
"A courier has just arrived at the Tuileries with a report, that after j
a scuffle between Corporal Crane and the 'Imperial Army,' in a!
water-barrel, whither the latter had retreated, victory has remained
with the former. A desperate combat ensued in the first place in a
hay-loft, whence the Pretender was ejected with immense loss. He is
now a prisoner—and we dread to think what his fate may be ! It
will warn future aspirants, and give Europe a lesson which it is not
likely to forget. Above all, it will set beyond a doubt the regard,
respect, admiration, reverence, and adoration which we all feel for
our Sovereign."
Third Edition !
" A second courier has arrived—the infatuated Crane has made
common cause with the Prince, and for ever forfeited the respect of
Frenchmen. A detachment of the 520th Leger has marched in pur-!
suit of the Pretender and bis dupes. Go, Frenchmen, go and conquer !
Remember that it is our rights you guard, our homes which you
march to defend ; our laws which are confided to the points of your
unsullied bayonets ;—above all, our dear, dear Sovereign, around
whose throne you rally !
" Our feelings overpower us. Men of the 520th remember your
watchword is Gemafpes,—your countersign, Yai.my."
"The Emperor of Russia and his distinguished family quitted the
Tuileries this day. His Imperial Majesty embraced his Majesty the
King of the French with tears in his eyes, and conferred upon their j
RR.HH., the Princes of Nemours and Joinville, the grand cross of
the Order of the Blue Eagle."
"His Majesty passed a review of the Police force—the venerable
monarch was received with deafening cheers by this admirable and
disinterested body of men. Those cheers were echoed in all French
hearts : long, long may our beloved Prince be among us to receive
them!"
foreign JFntdltgence.
We understand that the celebrated case of the two Ivilkenny cats_
who, shut together in a garret, fought each other until nothing of them
remained but their tails,—has been under the serious consideration of the
Five Powers, with a view to its application to the present state of Spain.
It has, consequently, been resolved upon that no foreign intercourse
whatever shall be permitted with that country for the next five years.
"That time elapsed, it will be curious to know how much will remain of all
parties of the Spanish, Bets run that nothing will be found but their
caoustaclues :
THE NUN OF BERMONDSEY.
taking the Veil.—(Siblhorpe fecit.)
In the Morning Papers we find this advertisement :—
/CONVENT of MERCY, Bermondsey.—On Thursday, Feb. 15, a LADY
will receive from Bishop Griffiths the RELIGIOUS VEIL and the HOLY HABIT
of our BLESSED LADY of MERCY, in the Church of the Most Holy Trinity, Ber-
mondsey. The ceremony will commence at 12 o'clock precisely. Tickets may be roa-
chased at the following Catholic Booksellers, &c, &c.
"We really think the show—considering it is made a purchasable
recreation—a very shameful interference with the privileges of that
admirable actress, Miss Kelly. It will of course be in the vivid
recollection of at least half-a-dozen enthusiasts who visited that lady's
jewel-case of a theatre, (No. 42^ Dean-street, Soho,) that the actress
has the sole acting right of The Sister of Charity. She has played it at
least a hundred times for " hire and reward " as the statute runs ; sh°>
was, moreover, the original Sister, and has, inalienably, a copyright
in the sympathies and tears of a British public for that character.
What, then, is to be said of the Manageress (whoever she mar
be) of the theatrical Convent of Mercy, Bermondsey? Is it fair, we
ask, to pirate the white veil of a sister actress ? Of course, had not
the exhibition been advertised as one of the amusements of the
day, we should have passed it in silence : but we cannot suffer
such unfair opposition without a word of protest. And why, we
ask, sell tickets for the exhibition ? Surely, Bishop Griffiths, like Mr.
Macready or any other theatrical star, does not require enormous
terms for his acting on the occasion ? Why should the Abbess of
the Convent set herself up against Miss Kelly, the rightful Abbess of
Dean-street ? We ask of the Lord Chamberlain, is the Convent
licensed for theatrical representations? If not, we trust Miss Kelly
will take her legal remedy.
We had written thus far, when a letter was brought us. Re-
cognising a female hand, we, of course, dropt our pen, and broke the
seal.
" Mr. Punch,—I am just comeback, with my two grand-daughters,
Heloise and Susannah, trolloping all the way from Bermondsey.
They told me as how they had bought tickets for The Sister of Mercy,
and as I always loved a play dearly, and they told me it would no
doubt be very cutting, I drest myself for the theatre. Well, sir,
knowing nothing of Bermondsey, or indeed anything of the play-
houses on that side of the water, I didn't know where I was taken
till I found myself near the stage, as I thought, and the show about
to begin. I then wanted to buy a bill of the play and some oranges,
but, look where I would, couldn't see any woman. Well, sir, the
music began, and a young lady—a very pretty creature, I must say—
drest in white muslin and crowned with white roses, came on. There
was a deal of ceremony gone through, and Heloise sobbed, and
Susannah blubbered ; but I told them to be quiet for a couple of
noodles, for they were only looking at a show. How, sir, could I
think otherwise, when we had paid our money for tickets (according
to an advertisement) to see the whole affair? Well, Mr. Punch,
judge my astonishment when I found out that there was no sham in
the matter—that the real nun had been advertised just like the last
mermaid, or the Jibbeway Indians !
"Well, sir, my object in writing to you is to ask if these things are
licensed by Act of Parliament, and, if not, by what means can I get
my money back again ? I should, of course, expect to pay to see
Miss Vincent, or any other person 'of domestic tragedy ' as a nun,
because she's one of the stage people, and gets her bread by it ; but
Miss Crudden (for that, I find by the papers, is the nun of Ber-
mondsey's name), or any other real nun, ought not to meddle with the
living of the noor players.
" Your's, ilfr. Punch,
"Hannah Stiffback."
"P.S. I'd forgot to say that since the show Susannah does nothing
but sigh ' to take vows' of some sort, and Heloise has dropt more
than one hint of retiring from the world for ever. Now, sir, what
these sights may work in the brains of foolish girls nobody can tell
Nuns may become so common, that honest men may soon want wives."