DOI Heft:
January to June, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0102
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
105
THE RAIL-ROAD MANIA.
eailt the most remarkable instance in modern
times of the Mania that exists for making rail-
roads, is to be met with at the two and a half
mile-stone on the Hammersmith Road, where
a few capitalists have been amusing them-
selves by the construction of a new West
Suburban, Grand Paddington and Warwick-
square Junction, or Earl's Court Canal Naviga-
tion and Kensingt on Nursery Ground Railway.
The effect of which appears to be to enable
persons arriving from Birmingham by the
Great Western, to reach the basin of the Canal,
running from Warwick Square to the pond in the middle of Earl's
Court, with as little delay as possible.
We undertand that the Directors rely on the tremendous traffic
likely to ensue between the two and a half mile-stone on the Ham-
mersmith Road, and the London terminus of the Great Western
Railway. It is contemplated also that the inhabitants of Warwick
Square will be constantly wanting to run backwards and forwards to
Paddington, which, when the houses are all built—at present there
are only two—will materially assist the effects of the Company.
Supposing that the Square ultimately comprises thirty houses, and
supposing each family to consist of ten persons, including servants,
this will give a population of three hundred, so that if only half of
them wish to go to Paddingdon every morning it will be seen that the
shareholders may calculate, from this source alone, on 1,800 pas-
sengers every week ; that is to say, supposing the 150 persons who
are supposed to want to go to Paddington, are all supposed to want
to come back again, and are also supposed to choose the West Sub-
urban Grand Paddington and Warwick-square Junction, &c. &c,
Pailway as the best mode of reaching their destination. Another
great point, as the Directors implicitly believe, is the propinquity of
the basin of the canal ; for it is a well-known fact in railway statis-
tics, that a line which is not near a canal, bears the same proportion
to a line that is near a canal, as the Mth of X does to the 0th of 24,
or the XX of Alpha. It is quite true that the canal goes nowhere
at present ; but there is no knowing where it may go to in time, if
the spirit of speculation should push it to the extent of all its
capabilities.
It is calculated that a goods train, in connection with this canal,
would be highly remunerative, supposing that Pickford should re-
move his warehouses to Warwick-square, which is not at all beyond
the range of a very remote possibility. At all events, come what
may, that is to say, if nothing ever comes at all, the Paddington
washerwomen may be induced to bring their clothes to the vacant
space about Earl's-court for the purpose of drying them ; and in this
case it would be worth while to start a clothes-train expressly for
their accommodation. They might be allowed the additional privi-
lege of boiling the clothes in the copper of the engine, and perhaps
they might, at a small extra charge, be permitted to mangle them
under the wheels of the luggage trains.
CENTRAL AGRICULTURAL PROTECTION SOCIETY.
At the late meeting of this Society, at the Freemasons' Tavern, the
following, we understand, were among the resolutions agreed to ; but
somehow or other they did not appear in the papers :—
Resolved :—That the rook, by destroying that unprofitable consumer
of grain, the grub, is, scarcely less than the Dukes of Richmond and
Buckingham, entitled to the appellation of the farmer's friend, and there-
fore ought decidedly to be encouraged.
That rook-shooting and the eating of rook-pies are altogether incom-
patible with the encouragement of the rook, and that accordingly the
amusement ought to be discountenanced, and the dish renounced, by all
members of the Society.
That rookeries are an invaluable blessing, as well to the farmer and
agricultural labourer, as to the landowner, and that all existing rookeries
ought to Vie maintained in the full enjoyment of their rights and privileges ;
this resolution, however, not to extend to the Rookery in St- Giles's.
That this Society views with great alarm the ravages annually committed
by the sparrows in harvest time, and recommends that prompt measures
be taken by all persons interested in agriculture for the suppression of
!-p:irrows. That with this view the boys in the several parishes be
encouraged to take and destroy as many sparrows' nests, with their eggs
and young, as possible, and that at all future dinners of the Society and of
its branches, one or more large sparrow-puddings be placed upon the table,
hatched, become grubs. That butterfly hunting, besides being a salutary
and wholesome exercise to youth, is conducive to the extirpation of grubs,
and be promoted accordingly. And that, to insure its promotion, a
committee with reference thereto, be forthwith appointed by the Society.
That although seven or eight shillings a week is a very liberal allowance
for a labourer with a wife and family, and quite enough to enable him
and them to live in clover on the same ; and although a comfortable
asylum in sickness, want of employment, or old age, has been provided
for him in the Union workhouse, yet, as mistaken notions on these points
unhappily prevail among the agricultural population ; which mistaken
notions, there is some reason to suspect have occasionally led to the
burning of wheat-ricks : it is expedient that an advance of three farthings
weekly be made on the wages of such labourer.
That landlords and farmers are ill-used and unprotected, and are the
most patriotic and disinterested classes of the community.
That the manufacturing interest enjoys exclusive and unjust privileges;
and that the corn-law abolitionists are narrow-minded, selfish, and
designing individuals.
That these resolutions be printed in Punch.
GOING OUT A SHOOTING.
Blest age when lawyers ape the deeds
Of Bayard and the Cid,
And scorn the peaceful " Practices,""
Of Impey and of Tidd !
When big wigs leave the courts and change
(Of arms blood-thirsty takers),
The venue to the Phcenix park,
Or to the " Fifteen Acres." *
When charged with dirt, Pot asks if Crock
To him the slur applies,
And bids him state, " if not, why not,"
Or show "how otherwise."
Then seeking "satisfaction " claims
To take up arms—jus flendum—
By right of martial capias
Ad satisfaciendum.
Whilst each his "friend " sends for a leech,
And arms, and to bespeak 'em,
At parting serves said " friend " with a
Subpoena duces tecum.
Or, p'rhaps too fierce, to wait until
Without the fane of Nemesis,
Cries, " Let us load at once and have
An ' action on the premises.' "
But ah ! sometimes one big wig proves
A peaceful man—God bless us !
And 'gainst such "motions," from the court,
Implores a stel processus.
What then does t'other big wig ? Pshaw !
One hardly sure need ax it.
He " bolts his bounce,"—in other words
He " enters a retraxit."
moral.
Henceforth let all fierce lawyers shun.
(As but their souls f to catch meant),
The "right of challenge " and be friends,
By " process of attachment."
THE CUT BREAD AT THE PALACE.
The royal arrangements for distributing the bits of " Cut Bread" left at
the royal dinner-table work exceedingly well, and it has now become the
fashion amongst the guests of her Majesty to call continually for " Another
bread," even when the piece before them is unfinished. Sir Robert
Peel, by way of carrying out the benevolent views of his royal mistress,
generally cuts off merely the crumby end of his bread, and leaves the
crusty majority to be paid into the Bread-basket Bank, which has been
expressby opened for the benefit of the Windsor paupers. It is, we believe,
in contemplation to provide every poor person with a sort of check book,
enabling him to draw whenever he is hungry to the extent of one slice, or
he may give a bill at a week, payable in mouthfuls. We understand that
an eatinghouse-keeper has undertaken to keep the bread account of the
Palace, so that if the whole of the leavings are paid in daily it may be
invested at once in any of the bread-pudding or bread-sauce speculations
of the concern, and thus the paupers would have the advantage of dra w-
ing out the bread in accordance with the demands of their appetites.
* Query, Alter et idem ? All we can say is, if the topography be not correct; for the
sake of the text, it ought to he.--Note by the Comment (dor.
t " a negro has a soul, an please your honour," said the Corporal. " I hope so, Trim."
Thrr^?,r"7 wC"1V T^CTITr'T "\ Fm"CU "TT T"5' rePHed m-T Uncle ro'jy Wc would hardly be lcss charitable than mv Uncle Toby, eve*
inat isatural History teaches that butterflies lay eggs, which, when to the class of moral negroes.—Ibid. "
105
THE RAIL-ROAD MANIA.
eailt the most remarkable instance in modern
times of the Mania that exists for making rail-
roads, is to be met with at the two and a half
mile-stone on the Hammersmith Road, where
a few capitalists have been amusing them-
selves by the construction of a new West
Suburban, Grand Paddington and Warwick-
square Junction, or Earl's Court Canal Naviga-
tion and Kensingt on Nursery Ground Railway.
The effect of which appears to be to enable
persons arriving from Birmingham by the
Great Western, to reach the basin of the Canal,
running from Warwick Square to the pond in the middle of Earl's
Court, with as little delay as possible.
We undertand that the Directors rely on the tremendous traffic
likely to ensue between the two and a half mile-stone on the Ham-
mersmith Road, and the London terminus of the Great Western
Railway. It is contemplated also that the inhabitants of Warwick
Square will be constantly wanting to run backwards and forwards to
Paddington, which, when the houses are all built—at present there
are only two—will materially assist the effects of the Company.
Supposing that the Square ultimately comprises thirty houses, and
supposing each family to consist of ten persons, including servants,
this will give a population of three hundred, so that if only half of
them wish to go to Paddingdon every morning it will be seen that the
shareholders may calculate, from this source alone, on 1,800 pas-
sengers every week ; that is to say, supposing the 150 persons who
are supposed to want to go to Paddington, are all supposed to want
to come back again, and are also supposed to choose the West Sub-
urban Grand Paddington and Warwick-square Junction, &c. &c,
Pailway as the best mode of reaching their destination. Another
great point, as the Directors implicitly believe, is the propinquity of
the basin of the canal ; for it is a well-known fact in railway statis-
tics, that a line which is not near a canal, bears the same proportion
to a line that is near a canal, as the Mth of X does to the 0th of 24,
or the XX of Alpha. It is quite true that the canal goes nowhere
at present ; but there is no knowing where it may go to in time, if
the spirit of speculation should push it to the extent of all its
capabilities.
It is calculated that a goods train, in connection with this canal,
would be highly remunerative, supposing that Pickford should re-
move his warehouses to Warwick-square, which is not at all beyond
the range of a very remote possibility. At all events, come what
may, that is to say, if nothing ever comes at all, the Paddington
washerwomen may be induced to bring their clothes to the vacant
space about Earl's-court for the purpose of drying them ; and in this
case it would be worth while to start a clothes-train expressly for
their accommodation. They might be allowed the additional privi-
lege of boiling the clothes in the copper of the engine, and perhaps
they might, at a small extra charge, be permitted to mangle them
under the wheels of the luggage trains.
CENTRAL AGRICULTURAL PROTECTION SOCIETY.
At the late meeting of this Society, at the Freemasons' Tavern, the
following, we understand, were among the resolutions agreed to ; but
somehow or other they did not appear in the papers :—
Resolved :—That the rook, by destroying that unprofitable consumer
of grain, the grub, is, scarcely less than the Dukes of Richmond and
Buckingham, entitled to the appellation of the farmer's friend, and there-
fore ought decidedly to be encouraged.
That rook-shooting and the eating of rook-pies are altogether incom-
patible with the encouragement of the rook, and that accordingly the
amusement ought to be discountenanced, and the dish renounced, by all
members of the Society.
That rookeries are an invaluable blessing, as well to the farmer and
agricultural labourer, as to the landowner, and that all existing rookeries
ought to Vie maintained in the full enjoyment of their rights and privileges ;
this resolution, however, not to extend to the Rookery in St- Giles's.
That this Society views with great alarm the ravages annually committed
by the sparrows in harvest time, and recommends that prompt measures
be taken by all persons interested in agriculture for the suppression of
!-p:irrows. That with this view the boys in the several parishes be
encouraged to take and destroy as many sparrows' nests, with their eggs
and young, as possible, and that at all future dinners of the Society and of
its branches, one or more large sparrow-puddings be placed upon the table,
hatched, become grubs. That butterfly hunting, besides being a salutary
and wholesome exercise to youth, is conducive to the extirpation of grubs,
and be promoted accordingly. And that, to insure its promotion, a
committee with reference thereto, be forthwith appointed by the Society.
That although seven or eight shillings a week is a very liberal allowance
for a labourer with a wife and family, and quite enough to enable him
and them to live in clover on the same ; and although a comfortable
asylum in sickness, want of employment, or old age, has been provided
for him in the Union workhouse, yet, as mistaken notions on these points
unhappily prevail among the agricultural population ; which mistaken
notions, there is some reason to suspect have occasionally led to the
burning of wheat-ricks : it is expedient that an advance of three farthings
weekly be made on the wages of such labourer.
That landlords and farmers are ill-used and unprotected, and are the
most patriotic and disinterested classes of the community.
That the manufacturing interest enjoys exclusive and unjust privileges;
and that the corn-law abolitionists are narrow-minded, selfish, and
designing individuals.
That these resolutions be printed in Punch.
GOING OUT A SHOOTING.
Blest age when lawyers ape the deeds
Of Bayard and the Cid,
And scorn the peaceful " Practices,""
Of Impey and of Tidd !
When big wigs leave the courts and change
(Of arms blood-thirsty takers),
The venue to the Phcenix park,
Or to the " Fifteen Acres." *
When charged with dirt, Pot asks if Crock
To him the slur applies,
And bids him state, " if not, why not,"
Or show "how otherwise."
Then seeking "satisfaction " claims
To take up arms—jus flendum—
By right of martial capias
Ad satisfaciendum.
Whilst each his "friend " sends for a leech,
And arms, and to bespeak 'em,
At parting serves said " friend " with a
Subpoena duces tecum.
Or, p'rhaps too fierce, to wait until
Without the fane of Nemesis,
Cries, " Let us load at once and have
An ' action on the premises.' "
But ah ! sometimes one big wig proves
A peaceful man—God bless us !
And 'gainst such "motions," from the court,
Implores a stel processus.
What then does t'other big wig ? Pshaw !
One hardly sure need ax it.
He " bolts his bounce,"—in other words
He " enters a retraxit."
moral.
Henceforth let all fierce lawyers shun.
(As but their souls f to catch meant),
The "right of challenge " and be friends,
By " process of attachment."
THE CUT BREAD AT THE PALACE.
The royal arrangements for distributing the bits of " Cut Bread" left at
the royal dinner-table work exceedingly well, and it has now become the
fashion amongst the guests of her Majesty to call continually for " Another
bread," even when the piece before them is unfinished. Sir Robert
Peel, by way of carrying out the benevolent views of his royal mistress,
generally cuts off merely the crumby end of his bread, and leaves the
crusty majority to be paid into the Bread-basket Bank, which has been
expressby opened for the benefit of the Windsor paupers. It is, we believe,
in contemplation to provide every poor person with a sort of check book,
enabling him to draw whenever he is hungry to the extent of one slice, or
he may give a bill at a week, payable in mouthfuls. We understand that
an eatinghouse-keeper has undertaken to keep the bread account of the
Palace, so that if the whole of the leavings are paid in daily it may be
invested at once in any of the bread-pudding or bread-sauce speculations
of the concern, and thus the paupers would have the advantage of dra w-
ing out the bread in accordance with the demands of their appetites.
* Query, Alter et idem ? All we can say is, if the topography be not correct; for the
sake of the text, it ought to he.--Note by the Comment (dor.
t " a negro has a soul, an please your honour," said the Corporal. " I hope so, Trim."
Thrr^?,r"7 wC"1V T^CTITr'T "\ Fm"CU "TT T"5' rePHed m-T Uncle ro'jy Wc would hardly be lcss charitable than mv Uncle Toby, eve*
inat isatural History teaches that butterflies lay eggs, which, when to the class of moral negroes.—Ibid. "