DOI Heft:
January to June, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0134
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
137
"THE FINES WERE INSTANTLY PAID."
The decisions of police magistrates—who, by the way, only dis-
pense the law as they find it—continually exalt poor men with the
knowledge of the high privileges of money, in England. They con-
tinually' preach to people of limited means the necessity of putting
themselves in ready cash as the only way of tasting the highest
enjoyment of British citizens. Here is a recent example of this
pleasant truth.
Frederick Johnson, "a young man very fashionably dressed"—
(people who break heads, knock out teeth, and inflict serious wounds
gratitude to his—namely, that he is not an Englishman. The concluding
remarks, in which he draws a frightful picture of the possibility of Eng-
land's being one day or other paid off by the other nations of the earth,
are quite awful ; but there is one error that we cannot help noticing. If
there is any paying off", America, and particularly the men of Pennsylvania,
will be sure to have no hand in it.
A NOTE FROM MR. SILK BUCKINGHAM.
Perhaps the universe is not aware of the fact that Mr. Silk
Buckingham, when Member of the House of Commons, did, by his
burning eloquence, cause an alteration in the law which compelled
on simple street passengers, are generally as fashionably dressed for j all booksellers to send a certain number of copies of every book they
a row as for a party) — was placed at Marlborough-street office for a
series of assaults.
Frederick Johnson ("law student") assaulted a tradesman in
Bond-street, who gave him into custody. (Fine, 21., on 21 days'
imprisonment.)
Frederick Johnson then assaulted policeman 106, hitting him a
"tremendous blow on the right eye and afterwards on the forehead :
also kicked his leg so violently that a serious wound was caused."
published to the British Museum and the Universities. The number,
by means of Mr. Silk Buckingham, was considerably lessened ;
hence—as Mr. B. has unostentatiously declared in a circular to the
trade—the booksellers are under a heavy debt of gratitude to the
projector and sole proprietor of the British and Foreign Institute.
This circular, for the convenience of subscribers, was tabularly
printed ; graciously allowing the booksellers the option of subscribing
books or money towards Mr. Buckingham's library of Mr. Bucking-
(Fine bl., or two months' imprisonment.) j ham's Institute. A second circular, of an enlarged character, is about
Frederick Johnson then kicked constables," No. 38,22, and 58, in j to be issued, and having been favoured with an early copy, we reprint
the groin and abdomen." (Fine, for No. 38, bl., or six weeks' impri- ; it for the benefit of Mr. Buckingham, and the cause of science :—
sonment. For No. 22, 4/., or one month ; and, for No. 58, 2/., or 21 | << Mr. Silk Buckingham presents his compliments to--, and"—
days' imprisonment.) (here there is a very minute detail of J/r. B.'s senatorial services to lite-
Such were the sentences passed by Mr. Maltbv, magistrate, when rature, which, with some pain, but, for the sake of brevity, we omit), " The
the prisoner immediately vindicated the triumph of wealth, for in subjoined table allows to the subscriber the option of shewing his gratitude
the words of the reporter, " the fines were instantly paid ! " Ready D.v presenting to Mr. Buckingham either books, money, wine, coals, or
money ! How like a gentleman ! Let us see the account : potatoes.
To a simple assault . . . . . . . . £2
To a tremendous blow dealt upon the eye of policeman, with
ditto on the head, and a serious wound in the leg . . 5
To a kicking in the groin and abdomen of sundries . . 11
£18
Subscriber's Name.
Books.
No. of Vols.
Money —-what
Amount.
Wine.
No.of Dozens.
Coals.
Tons.
Potatoes.
No. of Sacks.
Received of Frederick Johnson, by — Maltby, Magistrate.
We put it to the most inveterate grumbler, whether England be I « Please to fiu without de, and direct
not a cheap country, when a man can have so much real enjoyment : , „TT „
for eighteen pounds ; though we do really think that a handsome MLK 7 , , ^ ' ,'
j- . ul * ». ii j e j Unttsn ana t oreiqn Institute, Hanover souare.
discount ought to be allowed for ready money. * ' *
How gross and foul, and foolish withal, are those epicures who will! We mtend to look uPon tne above table once a ni8ht> at lea8t
give their guinea an ounce for early strawberries-their five guineas before we &° t0 sleeP ' and ln our next ma*v probably reprint it with
a pint for green peas ! How evanescent the pleasure from money so , our donations duly inserted. It is, therefore, unnecessary to beg of
laid out! Whereas, to kick a man in the groin and abdomen, may ; Mr" Buckingham to keep a sharp eye for Punch's next,
afford life-long reflections of delight, inasmuch as the man so kicked ^
may bear an acute remembrance of the injury to the grave.
Had the hero of the present story been penniless, he would have THE
passed months in gaol; but being a gentleman, and therefore much HISTORY OF THE NEXT FRENCH REVOLUTION,
less being expected of him in the way of example to lower offenders,
he is mulcted in a sum ; and—oh, glorifying privilege of ready cash !
■—" the fine is immediately paid !"
What, if the wise, benevolent senators who make such laws, were
now and then kicked in the abdomen and groin—would it lead to an
alteration of the statute? Perhaps it might.
Should any of our readers desire to gladden their eyes with a sight
[From a forthcoming History of Europe.]
CHAP. VI.—THE ENGLISH UNDER JENKINS.
But the prince had not calculated that there was a line of British
Infantry behind the routed Irish brigade. Borne on with the hurry
of the -mtlee, flushed with triumph, puffing and blowing with running,
* "°uc,,° ""jj^ ^"t °uc," CJCB Wlin «* B'g"i- and forgetting, in the intoxication of victory, the trifling bayonet-
oi r rederick Johnson, his address, in the police report, runs—' • i i • i i j • n j u it, / *i ■
aW„ . to , o iv r , j y, r ' pricks which had impelled them to the charge, the conquering
"No. 5, Ely-place, liolborn, Law-student. It would seem no man At i n j v j n i ,. , ■ M %
\\ ■ -i e V• i National (j inudsmeii lound themselves suddenly in presence of
Knows tne privilege of certain laws better. T . ^ j r
r ° i Jenkins s 1'oot.
^====== They halted ail in a huddle, like a flock of sheep.
" Up, Foot, and at them .' " were the memorable words of the Duke
AN AMERICAN BROADSIDE FOR ENGLAND. j Jenkins, as, waving his baton, he pointed towards the enemy, and
One Tyler, the son, we believe, of the President of the United States, wit1' a tremendous shout the stalwart sons of England rushed on !—
Down went plume and cocked hat, down went corporal and captain,
down went grocer and tailor, under the long staves of the indomit-
able English Footmen. " A Jenkins ! a Jenkins !" roared the Duke,
planting a blow which broke the aquiline nose of Major Arago, the
celebrated astronomer. " St. George for Mayfair ! " shouted his fol-
lowers, strewing the plain with carcases. Not a man of the Guard
escaped ; they fell like grass before the mower.
"They are gallant troops, those yellow-plushed Anglais," said the
Duke of Nemours, surveying them with his opera-glass; " 'tis a pity
they will all be cut up in half-an-hour. Concombre ! take your dra-
goons, and do it! " " Remember Waterloo, boys ! " said Colonel
Concombre, twirling his moustache, and a thousand sabres flashed in
the sun, and the gallant hussars prepared to attack the Englishmen.
Jenkins, his gigantic form leaning on his staff, and surveying the
havoc of the field, was instantly aware of the enemy's manoeuvre
has been making a speech, the burden of which—and the speech reads
dreadfully heavy—appears to be that he (Tyler) says no other prayers
morning, night, and noon, except to thank Heaven he is not an EiHdish-
man. We need not say that this sentiment will be universally echoed by
all who read his fuming, frothy, and vituperative speech ; for every
Briton who has any true regard for the respectability of his native
laud, will loudly exclaim., " Thank Heaven, Tyler is not an Englishman ! "
We should say that this man must be a remote descendant from the re-
nowned Wat, who got his skull split by the Lord Mayor's mace, and the
crack in the head seems to have remained ever since in the family. It
is true that it is hard to descend much lower than Wat Tyler himself ;
but the American edition is a terrible drop down, even from the very low
stock of the rebel of Smithfield. Tyler makes a brief confession of cer-
tain " errors of his past life," which he admits " have been numerous,"
tnd which is the only sensible passage in his long harangue ; but he
nevertheless again thanks Heaven for that which we again join our own
137
"THE FINES WERE INSTANTLY PAID."
The decisions of police magistrates—who, by the way, only dis-
pense the law as they find it—continually exalt poor men with the
knowledge of the high privileges of money, in England. They con-
tinually' preach to people of limited means the necessity of putting
themselves in ready cash as the only way of tasting the highest
enjoyment of British citizens. Here is a recent example of this
pleasant truth.
Frederick Johnson, "a young man very fashionably dressed"—
(people who break heads, knock out teeth, and inflict serious wounds
gratitude to his—namely, that he is not an Englishman. The concluding
remarks, in which he draws a frightful picture of the possibility of Eng-
land's being one day or other paid off by the other nations of the earth,
are quite awful ; but there is one error that we cannot help noticing. If
there is any paying off", America, and particularly the men of Pennsylvania,
will be sure to have no hand in it.
A NOTE FROM MR. SILK BUCKINGHAM.
Perhaps the universe is not aware of the fact that Mr. Silk
Buckingham, when Member of the House of Commons, did, by his
burning eloquence, cause an alteration in the law which compelled
on simple street passengers, are generally as fashionably dressed for j all booksellers to send a certain number of copies of every book they
a row as for a party) — was placed at Marlborough-street office for a
series of assaults.
Frederick Johnson ("law student") assaulted a tradesman in
Bond-street, who gave him into custody. (Fine, 21., on 21 days'
imprisonment.)
Frederick Johnson then assaulted policeman 106, hitting him a
"tremendous blow on the right eye and afterwards on the forehead :
also kicked his leg so violently that a serious wound was caused."
published to the British Museum and the Universities. The number,
by means of Mr. Silk Buckingham, was considerably lessened ;
hence—as Mr. B. has unostentatiously declared in a circular to the
trade—the booksellers are under a heavy debt of gratitude to the
projector and sole proprietor of the British and Foreign Institute.
This circular, for the convenience of subscribers, was tabularly
printed ; graciously allowing the booksellers the option of subscribing
books or money towards Mr. Buckingham's library of Mr. Bucking-
(Fine bl., or two months' imprisonment.) j ham's Institute. A second circular, of an enlarged character, is about
Frederick Johnson then kicked constables," No. 38,22, and 58, in j to be issued, and having been favoured with an early copy, we reprint
the groin and abdomen." (Fine, for No. 38, bl., or six weeks' impri- ; it for the benefit of Mr. Buckingham, and the cause of science :—
sonment. For No. 22, 4/., or one month ; and, for No. 58, 2/., or 21 | << Mr. Silk Buckingham presents his compliments to--, and"—
days' imprisonment.) (here there is a very minute detail of J/r. B.'s senatorial services to lite-
Such were the sentences passed by Mr. Maltbv, magistrate, when rature, which, with some pain, but, for the sake of brevity, we omit), " The
the prisoner immediately vindicated the triumph of wealth, for in subjoined table allows to the subscriber the option of shewing his gratitude
the words of the reporter, " the fines were instantly paid ! " Ready D.v presenting to Mr. Buckingham either books, money, wine, coals, or
money ! How like a gentleman ! Let us see the account : potatoes.
To a simple assault . . . . . . . . £2
To a tremendous blow dealt upon the eye of policeman, with
ditto on the head, and a serious wound in the leg . . 5
To a kicking in the groin and abdomen of sundries . . 11
£18
Subscriber's Name.
Books.
No. of Vols.
Money —-what
Amount.
Wine.
No.of Dozens.
Coals.
Tons.
Potatoes.
No. of Sacks.
Received of Frederick Johnson, by — Maltby, Magistrate.
We put it to the most inveterate grumbler, whether England be I « Please to fiu without de, and direct
not a cheap country, when a man can have so much real enjoyment : , „TT „
for eighteen pounds ; though we do really think that a handsome MLK 7 , , ^ ' ,'
j- . ul * ». ii j e j Unttsn ana t oreiqn Institute, Hanover souare.
discount ought to be allowed for ready money. * ' *
How gross and foul, and foolish withal, are those epicures who will! We mtend to look uPon tne above table once a ni8ht> at lea8t
give their guinea an ounce for early strawberries-their five guineas before we &° t0 sleeP ' and ln our next ma*v probably reprint it with
a pint for green peas ! How evanescent the pleasure from money so , our donations duly inserted. It is, therefore, unnecessary to beg of
laid out! Whereas, to kick a man in the groin and abdomen, may ; Mr" Buckingham to keep a sharp eye for Punch's next,
afford life-long reflections of delight, inasmuch as the man so kicked ^
may bear an acute remembrance of the injury to the grave.
Had the hero of the present story been penniless, he would have THE
passed months in gaol; but being a gentleman, and therefore much HISTORY OF THE NEXT FRENCH REVOLUTION,
less being expected of him in the way of example to lower offenders,
he is mulcted in a sum ; and—oh, glorifying privilege of ready cash !
■—" the fine is immediately paid !"
What, if the wise, benevolent senators who make such laws, were
now and then kicked in the abdomen and groin—would it lead to an
alteration of the statute? Perhaps it might.
Should any of our readers desire to gladden their eyes with a sight
[From a forthcoming History of Europe.]
CHAP. VI.—THE ENGLISH UNDER JENKINS.
But the prince had not calculated that there was a line of British
Infantry behind the routed Irish brigade. Borne on with the hurry
of the -mtlee, flushed with triumph, puffing and blowing with running,
* "°uc,,° ""jj^ ^"t °uc," CJCB Wlin «* B'g"i- and forgetting, in the intoxication of victory, the trifling bayonet-
oi r rederick Johnson, his address, in the police report, runs—' • i i • i i j • n j u it, / *i ■
aW„ . to , o iv r , j y, r ' pricks which had impelled them to the charge, the conquering
"No. 5, Ely-place, liolborn, Law-student. It would seem no man At i n j v j n i ,. , ■ M %
\\ ■ -i e V• i National (j inudsmeii lound themselves suddenly in presence of
Knows tne privilege of certain laws better. T . ^ j r
r ° i Jenkins s 1'oot.
^====== They halted ail in a huddle, like a flock of sheep.
" Up, Foot, and at them .' " were the memorable words of the Duke
AN AMERICAN BROADSIDE FOR ENGLAND. j Jenkins, as, waving his baton, he pointed towards the enemy, and
One Tyler, the son, we believe, of the President of the United States, wit1' a tremendous shout the stalwart sons of England rushed on !—
Down went plume and cocked hat, down went corporal and captain,
down went grocer and tailor, under the long staves of the indomit-
able English Footmen. " A Jenkins ! a Jenkins !" roared the Duke,
planting a blow which broke the aquiline nose of Major Arago, the
celebrated astronomer. " St. George for Mayfair ! " shouted his fol-
lowers, strewing the plain with carcases. Not a man of the Guard
escaped ; they fell like grass before the mower.
"They are gallant troops, those yellow-plushed Anglais," said the
Duke of Nemours, surveying them with his opera-glass; " 'tis a pity
they will all be cut up in half-an-hour. Concombre ! take your dra-
goons, and do it! " " Remember Waterloo, boys ! " said Colonel
Concombre, twirling his moustache, and a thousand sabres flashed in
the sun, and the gallant hussars prepared to attack the Englishmen.
Jenkins, his gigantic form leaning on his staff, and surveying the
havoc of the field, was instantly aware of the enemy's manoeuvre
has been making a speech, the burden of which—and the speech reads
dreadfully heavy—appears to be that he (Tyler) says no other prayers
morning, night, and noon, except to thank Heaven he is not an EiHdish-
man. We need not say that this sentiment will be universally echoed by
all who read his fuming, frothy, and vituperative speech ; for every
Briton who has any true regard for the respectability of his native
laud, will loudly exclaim., " Thank Heaven, Tyler is not an Englishman ! "
We should say that this man must be a remote descendant from the re-
nowned Wat, who got his skull split by the Lord Mayor's mace, and the
crack in the head seems to have remained ever since in the family. It
is true that it is hard to descend much lower than Wat Tyler himself ;
but the American edition is a terrible drop down, even from the very low
stock of the rebel of Smithfield. Tyler makes a brief confession of cer-
tain " errors of his past life," which he admits " have been numerous,"
tnd which is the only sensible passage in his long harangue ; but he
nevertheless again thanks Heaven for that which we again join our own