DOI Heft:
January to June, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16519#0162
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. ^
TELL INTELLIGIBLY TOLD.
ACT the third.
The stage now's supposed to afford us a view
Of Altorf—the castle, and market-place too ;
In honour of Gesler a,fete is preparing.
The governor's cap has come out for an airing,
'Tis placed on the top of a pole very high,
(The hat is a shocking bad hat by-the-bye),
And the people respect are directed to show to it,
By walking around it, and making a bow to it.
The /Sle now commences, the soldiers advance,
And force the Swiss maidens to join in the dance.
Men and women now awkwardly caper before us,
While the famed Tyrolian is heard as a chorus.
The dancing is over, when Rudolph and Tell
Appear not to like the movement over well.
Requesting with zeal which we can't understand,
The honour of dying in liberty's land.
But Gesler, a tyrant inclin'd to be funny,
Is bent upon having some sport for his money,
And therefore proposes to Tell a free pardon !
Upon a condition that's rather a hard 'un,
To shoot from the head of his son nothing more
Than an apple—Tell's heart has been pierced to the core.
But seeing not anything else can be done,
The hazard he boldly determines to run.
The bosom of Tell 'tis enough to be rippin' ;
But he says to his son, " Now, be steady, my pippin,
Don't move e'en the quarter or eighth of an inch,
If you think of your mother ! you 're sure not to flinch."
Their places they take—Albertazzi kneels down,
With a thundering eodlin surmounting her crown,
While Tell is preparing hi3 arrows to shoot,
Avoiding his son, without missing the fruit.
A sort of mechanical trick that requires
The aid of some nearly invisible wires.
In spite of the compact that Gesler had made,
He manages somehow the terms to evade,
For Tell had an arrow affixed to his button
Which Gesler's tyrannical eye was not shut on.
The chorus are very indignant indeed ;
They beg from oppression's strong grasp to be freed ;
And Gesler—alarmed at the horrible yelp—
Concedes what no longer he's able to help.
The people climb up to the trees and the roofs,
Of a general rising affording the proofs.
At Gesler defiance they lustiiy fling,
While the tyrant his exit effects at the wing.
Scene Two is the cottage of Melcthal, or rather
The little front garden of Arnold's late father ;
It is an exterior.—Arnold has come
His vengeance to whet with a sight of his home.
He sings to the door-post, the knocker, the bell,
The objects he lov'd in his childhood so well ;
And seems to imagine electrical fire
Is borne through his veins from the bell by the wire.
It seems with the singular purpose he's come
Of bidding eternal adieu to his home.
The act is absurd, he 'd be sure to regret it ;
If not able to live in it, couldn't he let it ?
'T is true, that his mind in condition just then a'n't,
For him to go looking about for a tenant:
But sure he might part with it just as it stands,
By putting it into a house-agent's hands.
Yet instead of proceeding to let or to sell,
He comes but to gaze on and bid it farewell.
Poor Arnold, with tear-drops bedewing his eye,
Is still to his property bidding good-bye,
When a chorus without on a sudden is heard,
In which " vengeance" is clearly the principal word.
In vengeance his energies suddenly centre,
When straightway a lot of conspirators enter
This somewhat absurd, geographical blunder
Is quickly forgot in the feeling of wonder,
Excited in all, by that marvel confest,
Duprez's ut de poitrine, or C in the chest.
Oh, nothing in singing more splendid could be,
Than his soul-stirring " burst," "Come with me ! Come with me ! "
To vengeance and glory he offers to lead,
And quickly sets off at the top of his speed,
T'wards the wing on the opposite prompt, and he reels,
(With the whole of the Chorus quite close at his heels) ;
Unable to stop, in an instant, his run,
He frequently falls over Manager Bdnn,
Who often is standing, entranced with delight,
At the famed " Come with me !" the grand hit of the night.
And then comes the curtain—and kicking and bawling,
The shouting, the yelling, the whistling, the calling—
Till out comes Duprez with Miss Romer to bow,
Thus putting an end—for one night—to the row.
TO AUTHORS, POETS, AND BOOKMAKERS IN GENERAL.
THE proprietors of the Poetico-Prosaico-Assistant Establishment beg to
announce that their Assortment for the Season will contain a large
supply of ready-made Verses — Preserved rhymes—Moral sentences—
Piquant mottoes—Generally approved puns—Some excellent descriptions
—and two very superior bon-mots—also an immense assortment of para-
graphs, adapted to all subjects and circumstances, with moveable begin-
nings and ends, so managed that they may be fitted on to anything, and
furnished with appropriate commas, full-stops, and notes of interrogation.
Prize poems and essays got up at the shortest notice ;—Histories, voyages,
and travels compiled; and novels, sermons, memoirs, and grammars,
neatly composed and instantaneously published.
We subjoin a specimen of the poetical department of this establish-
ment :—
" 'Tis done—and sickening in the gaie,
Distempered breezes filter thro' the vale,
Tumultuous murmurs flash promiscuous dyes,
And limpid mermaids mangle o'er the skies.
No voice to break the silent stillness round,
Save the deep thunder of perpetual sound.
He died—he spokc--he breathed ; no word
Marr'd the sweet music of that shrilly bird :
Earth was his home—his smouldering tomb the wave,
Whilst lustrous dew-drops purple round his grave.
Eternal silence laughs along the shore,
And spectral negroes whiten cn the floor.
©pinions of tlje $rcss.
" An invaluable establishment to authors and bookmakers,"—Bengal Luminary.
" Most excellent invention."—South Sea Island and Australian General Advertiser,
" We recommend all young authors to apply to the ' Poetico-Prosaico-Assistant Esta.
blishment.' "—Ptkin Herald and Cape Horn Advertiser.
Testimonials of authors.
" Gentlemen,—I have great pleasure in acknowledging the benefit I
have derived from the use of your very excellent establishment.
"I am, &c, &c, &c,
"W. Lennox."
N.B. Windows, top-boots, and old pictures cleaned, and clocks and
characters taken to pieces and carefully inspected.
The Great Unaccountable again.
A very curious document has lately turned up, being a receipt for up-
wards of seventy pounds from Alderman Gibbs ; and what adds materially
to the interest, if not to the value of the article is the fact, that the item
to which it refers does not appear in the accounts of the worthy church-
warden, which were examined and found to be quite correct by, of course,
very competent auditors. As the parish was declared to be in debt to
the Alderman, there can be no doubt that he has made very extensive
payments from his own private pocket, of which, with a lavish liberalitv,
and disregard to self, he has kept no account whatever. This will, we
are sure, more than balance the books of the perpetual churchwarden ;
and we therefore call on the public to suspend its judgment until the
Alderman's memory has had time to refresh itself, and bring to light some
They swear~to the rescue of Tell they will fly, j forgotten item, that may be placed on the credit side of his account, with
Intending to level his dungeon or die. a view to turning the scale again in his own favour.
At once by their energy Arnold's excited,
His country he seems quite resolved shall be righted.
He offers to lead them—" To Altorf," says he, Secondary Punishments*
"I know the defiles just at present are free." We understand that the Government is in treaty with Mr. Wimbush
And showing the pathway by which they can quit, I for the purchase or hire of his omnibus, in order to use it as a vehicle
He points with his sword to the side of the pit. | for the application of the solitary svstem to the punishment of minor
It follows, of course, if he " speaks by the card," j offences. It is proposed to sentence persons convicted of very small
lhat Altorf is somewhere near Vinegar-yard. | delinquencies to a journey from the police office to the Bank of England.
Vol. b.
6
TELL INTELLIGIBLY TOLD.
ACT the third.
The stage now's supposed to afford us a view
Of Altorf—the castle, and market-place too ;
In honour of Gesler a,fete is preparing.
The governor's cap has come out for an airing,
'Tis placed on the top of a pole very high,
(The hat is a shocking bad hat by-the-bye),
And the people respect are directed to show to it,
By walking around it, and making a bow to it.
The /Sle now commences, the soldiers advance,
And force the Swiss maidens to join in the dance.
Men and women now awkwardly caper before us,
While the famed Tyrolian is heard as a chorus.
The dancing is over, when Rudolph and Tell
Appear not to like the movement over well.
Requesting with zeal which we can't understand,
The honour of dying in liberty's land.
But Gesler, a tyrant inclin'd to be funny,
Is bent upon having some sport for his money,
And therefore proposes to Tell a free pardon !
Upon a condition that's rather a hard 'un,
To shoot from the head of his son nothing more
Than an apple—Tell's heart has been pierced to the core.
But seeing not anything else can be done,
The hazard he boldly determines to run.
The bosom of Tell 'tis enough to be rippin' ;
But he says to his son, " Now, be steady, my pippin,
Don't move e'en the quarter or eighth of an inch,
If you think of your mother ! you 're sure not to flinch."
Their places they take—Albertazzi kneels down,
With a thundering eodlin surmounting her crown,
While Tell is preparing hi3 arrows to shoot,
Avoiding his son, without missing the fruit.
A sort of mechanical trick that requires
The aid of some nearly invisible wires.
In spite of the compact that Gesler had made,
He manages somehow the terms to evade,
For Tell had an arrow affixed to his button
Which Gesler's tyrannical eye was not shut on.
The chorus are very indignant indeed ;
They beg from oppression's strong grasp to be freed ;
And Gesler—alarmed at the horrible yelp—
Concedes what no longer he's able to help.
The people climb up to the trees and the roofs,
Of a general rising affording the proofs.
At Gesler defiance they lustiiy fling,
While the tyrant his exit effects at the wing.
Scene Two is the cottage of Melcthal, or rather
The little front garden of Arnold's late father ;
It is an exterior.—Arnold has come
His vengeance to whet with a sight of his home.
He sings to the door-post, the knocker, the bell,
The objects he lov'd in his childhood so well ;
And seems to imagine electrical fire
Is borne through his veins from the bell by the wire.
It seems with the singular purpose he's come
Of bidding eternal adieu to his home.
The act is absurd, he 'd be sure to regret it ;
If not able to live in it, couldn't he let it ?
'T is true, that his mind in condition just then a'n't,
For him to go looking about for a tenant:
But sure he might part with it just as it stands,
By putting it into a house-agent's hands.
Yet instead of proceeding to let or to sell,
He comes but to gaze on and bid it farewell.
Poor Arnold, with tear-drops bedewing his eye,
Is still to his property bidding good-bye,
When a chorus without on a sudden is heard,
In which " vengeance" is clearly the principal word.
In vengeance his energies suddenly centre,
When straightway a lot of conspirators enter
This somewhat absurd, geographical blunder
Is quickly forgot in the feeling of wonder,
Excited in all, by that marvel confest,
Duprez's ut de poitrine, or C in the chest.
Oh, nothing in singing more splendid could be,
Than his soul-stirring " burst," "Come with me ! Come with me ! "
To vengeance and glory he offers to lead,
And quickly sets off at the top of his speed,
T'wards the wing on the opposite prompt, and he reels,
(With the whole of the Chorus quite close at his heels) ;
Unable to stop, in an instant, his run,
He frequently falls over Manager Bdnn,
Who often is standing, entranced with delight,
At the famed " Come with me !" the grand hit of the night.
And then comes the curtain—and kicking and bawling,
The shouting, the yelling, the whistling, the calling—
Till out comes Duprez with Miss Romer to bow,
Thus putting an end—for one night—to the row.
TO AUTHORS, POETS, AND BOOKMAKERS IN GENERAL.
THE proprietors of the Poetico-Prosaico-Assistant Establishment beg to
announce that their Assortment for the Season will contain a large
supply of ready-made Verses — Preserved rhymes—Moral sentences—
Piquant mottoes—Generally approved puns—Some excellent descriptions
—and two very superior bon-mots—also an immense assortment of para-
graphs, adapted to all subjects and circumstances, with moveable begin-
nings and ends, so managed that they may be fitted on to anything, and
furnished with appropriate commas, full-stops, and notes of interrogation.
Prize poems and essays got up at the shortest notice ;—Histories, voyages,
and travels compiled; and novels, sermons, memoirs, and grammars,
neatly composed and instantaneously published.
We subjoin a specimen of the poetical department of this establish-
ment :—
" 'Tis done—and sickening in the gaie,
Distempered breezes filter thro' the vale,
Tumultuous murmurs flash promiscuous dyes,
And limpid mermaids mangle o'er the skies.
No voice to break the silent stillness round,
Save the deep thunder of perpetual sound.
He died—he spokc--he breathed ; no word
Marr'd the sweet music of that shrilly bird :
Earth was his home—his smouldering tomb the wave,
Whilst lustrous dew-drops purple round his grave.
Eternal silence laughs along the shore,
And spectral negroes whiten cn the floor.
©pinions of tlje $rcss.
" An invaluable establishment to authors and bookmakers,"—Bengal Luminary.
" Most excellent invention."—South Sea Island and Australian General Advertiser,
" We recommend all young authors to apply to the ' Poetico-Prosaico-Assistant Esta.
blishment.' "—Ptkin Herald and Cape Horn Advertiser.
Testimonials of authors.
" Gentlemen,—I have great pleasure in acknowledging the benefit I
have derived from the use of your very excellent establishment.
"I am, &c, &c, &c,
"W. Lennox."
N.B. Windows, top-boots, and old pictures cleaned, and clocks and
characters taken to pieces and carefully inspected.
The Great Unaccountable again.
A very curious document has lately turned up, being a receipt for up-
wards of seventy pounds from Alderman Gibbs ; and what adds materially
to the interest, if not to the value of the article is the fact, that the item
to which it refers does not appear in the accounts of the worthy church-
warden, which were examined and found to be quite correct by, of course,
very competent auditors. As the parish was declared to be in debt to
the Alderman, there can be no doubt that he has made very extensive
payments from his own private pocket, of which, with a lavish liberalitv,
and disregard to self, he has kept no account whatever. This will, we
are sure, more than balance the books of the perpetual churchwarden ;
and we therefore call on the public to suspend its judgment until the
Alderman's memory has had time to refresh itself, and bring to light some
They swear~to the rescue of Tell they will fly, j forgotten item, that may be placed on the credit side of his account, with
Intending to level his dungeon or die. a view to turning the scale again in his own favour.
At once by their energy Arnold's excited,
His country he seems quite resolved shall be righted.
He offers to lead them—" To Altorf," says he, Secondary Punishments*
"I know the defiles just at present are free." We understand that the Government is in treaty with Mr. Wimbush
And showing the pathway by which they can quit, I for the purchase or hire of his omnibus, in order to use it as a vehicle
He points with his sword to the side of the pit. | for the application of the solitary svstem to the punishment of minor
It follows, of course, if he " speaks by the card," j offences. It is proposed to sentence persons convicted of very small
lhat Altorf is somewhere near Vinegar-yard. | delinquencies to a journey from the police office to the Bank of England.
Vol. b.
6