DOI Heft:
July to December, 1844
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16520#0162
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 155
A CARD.
Mr. Cringe, being desirous of falling in with the prevailing taste for
Direct Communication, has made arrangements for cutting through
the inconvenient Isthmus of Professional Etiquette, which divides the
client from his counsel ; and undertakes to do business without the inter-
vention of the Attorney, or Middle-man,
Cringe begs leave to call the attention of the Felonry, his Friends,
and Patrons, to the great advantage to be derived from personal inter-
views with the Barrister, which Cringe is quite willing to grant, even to
those in the humblest or lowest stage of delinquency.
Cringe may be consulted personally in any of the prisou passages ; and
he will be happy to receive Acquitted Thieves—who are desirous of
paying the residue of the fee—in the Vestibule, near the Robing-room.
Cringe begs leave to call the attention of the Guilty to the important
fact, that only a small deposit is taken on delivery of the brief, the re-
mainder being contingent on a verdict of Honourable Acquittal.
The friends of Culprits liberally treated with, and an allowance made
to the parents in cases of Juvenile Delinquency. Professed Thieves
defended by the month or sessions, and briefs always ready to meet
every contingency.
New Member. Oh ! that's too rich—ha, ha, ha !
The President. The honourable member is right. It was the richness
of the iEgean Sea that induced this Association to dredge it. Go on, Mr.
Secretary ; what does the report say as to the result of the dredging !
Colonel Sabine {reading). "Your Committee feel much ecstasy in statir.g
that Professor Forbes has dredged
up several buckets of mixed stuff,
which have been laid before the Analytic
Section, and found to contain 150 species
of animals, all new to Science.
New Member. 150 animals! Let's
have their names.
The President {interfering). We should
be glad to afford every information, but
these interruptions are improper.
New Member. Well. Let's have a
few of the names of the 150 animals all
new to science.
The President. Well—I don't know !
Suppose we say, the Cockleius Scollopus-
culus, or Cockle good for scolloping—
That's one ! I can't think of any more
just now. Pray go on with the report,
Colonel Sabine.
Colonel Sabine {winking at the Pre-
sident). " Your Committee wished the
Government to publish the result of this
dredging ; and Sir Robert Peel agreed
to print 500 copies, if there were any
means of getting rid of them. One
hundred were at once carried away by a celebrated protessom.
New Member. What became of the remainder ?
The President. That's an unfair question. I don't know.
A Clerk. The cheesemonger-
BRITISH ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT
OF SCIENCE.
{From our own Reporter.)
ins Association having met at York,
Science is, of course, being advanced
in that favoured city, and such is the
determination of some of the more
active members to keep science on the
move, thai, they have resolved on push-
ing it to the very last extremities.
Science has taken a very considerable
round in the hands of this very able
body, and we should not be astonished
to hear of its eventually going to Jericho.
What will become of the British, &c.
for the advancement, &c, it is not our
business to inquire. What the British,
&c. &c. Sic. &c. is actually about at the
present moment, is the point to which we shall confine ourselves. The
Committee having met, Colonel Sabine—no relation, we believe, to
the historical Sabines—came forward to read the report in his character
of General Secretary. It is worth while to observe that the Association
for the Advancement of Science has advanced the Secretary, by making
a Colonel into a General—for General Secretary is the title which the
Colonel goes by in Iiis connection with the Brit. Ass. as the sapient body
occasionally calls itself.
Colonel-General-Secretary Sabine, having cleared his throat, and sent
for his spectacles from the President of the Optical Section, who had
borrowed them in order to try some experiments in reading books,
Colonel-General-Secretary Sabine, having, in a style worthy of the Archi-
tectural Section, placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose, began to read
the report, of which the following is a summary :—
" Your Committee have great pleasure in stating that they have' tried
an experiment with a captive balloon-"
Here the Secretary was interrupted by a new member inquiring what
was meant by a captive balloon. Was it a balloon that had caught on
the railings of a house, as Mr. Hampton's generally did ? or was it a
balloon seized and become captive on account of the damage done by its
descent, which happened occasionally to Mrs. Graham and other intrepid
aeronauts.
Colonel Sabine having paused for some time, and having looked out
the words "captive" and "balloon5' in Johnson's Dictionary, replied,
that he could not answer the question. He would, however, refer it to the
Lexicographical Section, if the honourable members desired it.
The report was then proceeded with.
" Your Committee having had some maps, have drawn some lines,
showing some good spots for some canals, some Artesian wells, and some
other advantages." an(j} though the buttercup was not melted, the flower was consideral y
Colonel Sabine and the President {very vehemently to the Clerk}.
Silence, sir, silence ! You are stepping far beyond your duty, sir. Hold
your tongue, sir !
Colonel Sabine {continuing to read). " Your Committee have received
1,000/. from the Treasury for the publication of Lalande's Catalogue oi
the Stars."
New Member. What a rum catalogue. Lot one, Mr. Macready, I
suppose. Eh ?
Colonel Sabine {stuffing his pocket-handkerchief into his mouth, c .d
coughing.) Shall I go on with the report, or not ?
The President. Pray go on.
Colonel Sabine {continuing). " Your Committee finding they could do no
good with the collections illustrative of railway sections, have given theus
all away."
New Member. All !
Colonel Sabine. Every one. They were of no use to us.
New Member. What did they cost!
The President. That question must be referred to the mathematical
section.
New Member. Yes ! But which is the paying section ! [Loud crks ej
" Indecent !" amidst which the Neiv Member sat down.)
Colonel Sabine. " Your Committee beg to say in conclusion, they have
got several invitations for next year, and amongst others Cambridge
was anxious for the honour of taking them in—and doing for them !"
The report having been read, a warm discussion took place on a Daddy
Longlegs, the point of dispute being whether the Daddy should be referred
to the zoological section, or whether an ethnological sub-section should be
formed for the purpose of placing the Longlegs in the bands of a separat*
committee. It was ultimately agreed to look upon the Daddy Longlegs as
a subject for the zoological section at present. The meeting then broke up.
Friday.—The business to-day was quite of an abstract nature. lu
Section A., Professor Long read a paper on infinite series, &c, or series
without end ; in illustration of which he read some observations, which
seemed as if they never would end, and even when concluded, no end
was come to.
Section B. Mr. West read a paper on mineral waters, founded on
experiments with a bottle of soda water.
Mr. Hunt read a paper on the influence of light on plants, which he
proved to be deleterious. He had held a buttercup over a lighted candle.
The new member inquired whether the lines did not disfigure the maps, damaged.
Colonel Sabine. Rather. j)^ Babineur read a paper on the mode of detecting the adulterations
New Member. Then cui bono 9 in tobacco. He had smoked several penny Cubas, and detected adultera-
The President here interfered. "If," said he with much warmth, don in every one of them.
" the Association is to have the cui bono test applied to its proceedings— I Professor Forbes and Mr. Heliston jointly read a paper on the
f we are to be asked what is the good of this or that, we may as well I tertiary formations of the Isle of Wight. As they both read at once, it
absolve the body."- {Much cheering.) ; was to us the most interesting paper we had heard at the meeting.
Colonel Sabine then proceeded :—" Your Committee have sent out Section .E.—-Medical Science.—Dr. Heming described a peculiar
Professor Forbes with a dredging machine." • disease of the tongue, attended with great constitutional disturbance. It
New Member. A what? was found a good deal among Radical members of Parliament and Chartist
^ colonel Sabine {continuing). " A dredging machine for the purpose of j demagogues. The tongue was generally very bad in these cases, but the
Pledging the --Egean Sea." ! constitutional disturbance generally insignificant.
A CARD.
Mr. Cringe, being desirous of falling in with the prevailing taste for
Direct Communication, has made arrangements for cutting through
the inconvenient Isthmus of Professional Etiquette, which divides the
client from his counsel ; and undertakes to do business without the inter-
vention of the Attorney, or Middle-man,
Cringe begs leave to call the attention of the Felonry, his Friends,
and Patrons, to the great advantage to be derived from personal inter-
views with the Barrister, which Cringe is quite willing to grant, even to
those in the humblest or lowest stage of delinquency.
Cringe may be consulted personally in any of the prisou passages ; and
he will be happy to receive Acquitted Thieves—who are desirous of
paying the residue of the fee—in the Vestibule, near the Robing-room.
Cringe begs leave to call the attention of the Guilty to the important
fact, that only a small deposit is taken on delivery of the brief, the re-
mainder being contingent on a verdict of Honourable Acquittal.
The friends of Culprits liberally treated with, and an allowance made
to the parents in cases of Juvenile Delinquency. Professed Thieves
defended by the month or sessions, and briefs always ready to meet
every contingency.
New Member. Oh ! that's too rich—ha, ha, ha !
The President. The honourable member is right. It was the richness
of the iEgean Sea that induced this Association to dredge it. Go on, Mr.
Secretary ; what does the report say as to the result of the dredging !
Colonel Sabine {reading). "Your Committee feel much ecstasy in statir.g
that Professor Forbes has dredged
up several buckets of mixed stuff,
which have been laid before the Analytic
Section, and found to contain 150 species
of animals, all new to Science.
New Member. 150 animals! Let's
have their names.
The President {interfering). We should
be glad to afford every information, but
these interruptions are improper.
New Member. Well. Let's have a
few of the names of the 150 animals all
new to science.
The President. Well—I don't know !
Suppose we say, the Cockleius Scollopus-
culus, or Cockle good for scolloping—
That's one ! I can't think of any more
just now. Pray go on with the report,
Colonel Sabine.
Colonel Sabine {winking at the Pre-
sident). " Your Committee wished the
Government to publish the result of this
dredging ; and Sir Robert Peel agreed
to print 500 copies, if there were any
means of getting rid of them. One
hundred were at once carried away by a celebrated protessom.
New Member. What became of the remainder ?
The President. That's an unfair question. I don't know.
A Clerk. The cheesemonger-
BRITISH ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT
OF SCIENCE.
{From our own Reporter.)
ins Association having met at York,
Science is, of course, being advanced
in that favoured city, and such is the
determination of some of the more
active members to keep science on the
move, thai, they have resolved on push-
ing it to the very last extremities.
Science has taken a very considerable
round in the hands of this very able
body, and we should not be astonished
to hear of its eventually going to Jericho.
What will become of the British, &c.
for the advancement, &c, it is not our
business to inquire. What the British,
&c. &c. Sic. &c. is actually about at the
present moment, is the point to which we shall confine ourselves. The
Committee having met, Colonel Sabine—no relation, we believe, to
the historical Sabines—came forward to read the report in his character
of General Secretary. It is worth while to observe that the Association
for the Advancement of Science has advanced the Secretary, by making
a Colonel into a General—for General Secretary is the title which the
Colonel goes by in Iiis connection with the Brit. Ass. as the sapient body
occasionally calls itself.
Colonel-General-Secretary Sabine, having cleared his throat, and sent
for his spectacles from the President of the Optical Section, who had
borrowed them in order to try some experiments in reading books,
Colonel-General-Secretary Sabine, having, in a style worthy of the Archi-
tectural Section, placed his glasses on the bridge of his nose, began to read
the report, of which the following is a summary :—
" Your Committee have great pleasure in stating that they have' tried
an experiment with a captive balloon-"
Here the Secretary was interrupted by a new member inquiring what
was meant by a captive balloon. Was it a balloon that had caught on
the railings of a house, as Mr. Hampton's generally did ? or was it a
balloon seized and become captive on account of the damage done by its
descent, which happened occasionally to Mrs. Graham and other intrepid
aeronauts.
Colonel Sabine having paused for some time, and having looked out
the words "captive" and "balloon5' in Johnson's Dictionary, replied,
that he could not answer the question. He would, however, refer it to the
Lexicographical Section, if the honourable members desired it.
The report was then proceeded with.
" Your Committee having had some maps, have drawn some lines,
showing some good spots for some canals, some Artesian wells, and some
other advantages." an(j} though the buttercup was not melted, the flower was consideral y
Colonel Sabine and the President {very vehemently to the Clerk}.
Silence, sir, silence ! You are stepping far beyond your duty, sir. Hold
your tongue, sir !
Colonel Sabine {continuing to read). " Your Committee have received
1,000/. from the Treasury for the publication of Lalande's Catalogue oi
the Stars."
New Member. What a rum catalogue. Lot one, Mr. Macready, I
suppose. Eh ?
Colonel Sabine {stuffing his pocket-handkerchief into his mouth, c .d
coughing.) Shall I go on with the report, or not ?
The President. Pray go on.
Colonel Sabine {continuing). " Your Committee finding they could do no
good with the collections illustrative of railway sections, have given theus
all away."
New Member. All !
Colonel Sabine. Every one. They were of no use to us.
New Member. What did they cost!
The President. That question must be referred to the mathematical
section.
New Member. Yes ! But which is the paying section ! [Loud crks ej
" Indecent !" amidst which the Neiv Member sat down.)
Colonel Sabine. " Your Committee beg to say in conclusion, they have
got several invitations for next year, and amongst others Cambridge
was anxious for the honour of taking them in—and doing for them !"
The report having been read, a warm discussion took place on a Daddy
Longlegs, the point of dispute being whether the Daddy should be referred
to the zoological section, or whether an ethnological sub-section should be
formed for the purpose of placing the Longlegs in the bands of a separat*
committee. It was ultimately agreed to look upon the Daddy Longlegs as
a subject for the zoological section at present. The meeting then broke up.
Friday.—The business to-day was quite of an abstract nature. lu
Section A., Professor Long read a paper on infinite series, &c, or series
without end ; in illustration of which he read some observations, which
seemed as if they never would end, and even when concluded, no end
was come to.
Section B. Mr. West read a paper on mineral waters, founded on
experiments with a bottle of soda water.
Mr. Hunt read a paper on the influence of light on plants, which he
proved to be deleterious. He had held a buttercup over a lighted candle.
The new member inquired whether the lines did not disfigure the maps, damaged.
Colonel Sabine. Rather. j)^ Babineur read a paper on the mode of detecting the adulterations
New Member. Then cui bono 9 in tobacco. He had smoked several penny Cubas, and detected adultera-
The President here interfered. "If," said he with much warmth, don in every one of them.
" the Association is to have the cui bono test applied to its proceedings— I Professor Forbes and Mr. Heliston jointly read a paper on the
f we are to be asked what is the good of this or that, we may as well I tertiary formations of the Isle of Wight. As they both read at once, it
absolve the body."- {Much cheering.) ; was to us the most interesting paper we had heard at the meeting.
Colonel Sabine then proceeded :—" Your Committee have sent out Section .E.—-Medical Science.—Dr. Heming described a peculiar
Professor Forbes with a dredging machine." • disease of the tongue, attended with great constitutional disturbance. It
New Member. A what? was found a good deal among Radical members of Parliament and Chartist
^ colonel Sabine {continuing). " A dredging machine for the purpose of j demagogues. The tongue was generally very bad in these cases, but the
Pledging the --Egean Sea." ! constitutional disturbance generally insignificant.