DOI Heft:
July to December, 1845
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16541#0120
112 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
prove on viva, voce testimony. He would not charge the Insolvent
■with embezzlement : no, lie would not quite do that. But he would
show that she had, in the most flagrant manner, misapplied the
funds placed in trust at her disposal for far other purposes. Ue
would show that she had received moneys in order to build places of
immortal comfort for the poor, and that—they might call it maternal
weakness if they would—she had laid out such moneys in the pur-
chasing, not of houses—oh ! no, houses would not satisfy her, but
palaces—for her children. He could prove what she had done for
one of her sons.
She had laid out 30,000?. on a palace for Rochester-" the beams
of his house were cedar, and his rafters were fir." And he (the
learned counsel) would again ask if such a person was entitled to
the indulgence of that Court. "What ! they remanded miserable
mechanics—untaught, wretched men, for reckless expenditure—and
would they wink at the unparalleled, the unchristian extravagance
of the Insolvent ? lie (the counsel) would now call the attention of
the Commissioner to one important fact. He would go back to the
origin, the early life of Mother Church, and would prove that her
babyhood, ay, her youth, was passed in privation ; that her greatest
comfort, her truest pride—if, indeed, in those days she could feel
pride at anything—was to cast down the outside fashions of the
world—to stand, as it were, tiptoe upon earth, her hand reaching
towards heaven. In those days, she went forth in sweet simplicity,
like Rebecca to the well—and did not, like the Insolvent before
them, keep red-nosed butlers.
In conclusion, the learned gentleman, on the part of his client,
John Bull, begged that bail might not be granted.
The learned Commissioner said this was a bad case—a very bad
case : nevertheless he would not refuse bail. When the Insolvent
came up to pass her examination, the learned counsel would then
have a further opportunity of opposing her.
Mrs. Church then left the Court; and, as our reporter under-
stood, went off in the Bishop of London's carriage, that her nerves
might be properly attuned amid the groves of Fulham.
THE CONTESTED BEADLEDOM.
his election, which has kept a whole suburb in a
state of fermentation for months, threatening to
burst the very district in which it was bottled up,
came off at the appointed spot on the day that had
been agreed upon. As the candidates came to the
hustings, they were greeted with the cheers of one
party and the cabbage-leaves of the other. Pum-
m ell, who wore the crimson collar of Modesty and
the golden hat-band of the ancient order of Merry
Flunkies, looked remarkably well ; but a flush of
the nose, and a quivering of the eye-lash, told what
was going on beneath. The second candidate
advanced with a rapid step, and, bowing ceremoni-
ously to the crowd, retired as it was supposed from
the contest, but in fact only to refresh at the tap of
the Marquis of Granbv, said to have been painted by Hogarth for a
small score which he had run up with the landlord, an
honest fellow, who could brew a better cup of sack
than any wineherd in Kensington.
The polling having commenced, each candidate con-
tinued addressing every elector that came up to vote ;
and Pummell's homely expression of '•' Give us your
support, old fellow," went home to the hearts of many
who were only disgusted by what they called the
formal palaver of the opposition candidate. As the
time for the official declaration of the poll approached,
the excitement became terrible, and Pummell several
times fainted away with agitation, while his opponent only sustained him-
self by frequent visits to the tap of the Marquis of Granbv. At length
the result of the election was announced 10 be an equality of votes for
both parties, when, having: consulted with their friends, the candidates
tossed up, and Pummell having sung out tails, to which the populace
responded with a loud shout of " tails it is," he was declared duly elected.
new line of business.
We understand that medical students, instead of walking the hospitals,
intend to apply for permission to walk the different railways, as, from the
number of accidents that occur on each line, they expect to finish their
surgical education in one-half of the usual period.
THE DESERTED CITY.
(an 0ssian1c fragment.)
ow empty is Westminster ; empty as thy purse,
oh Bard ! The Hall no longer echoes to th«
bounce of the barrister ; silenced in its courts
is the hum of law. Hushed in St. Stephen's
is the voice of braying ; whither are ye gone ?
oh, M.P.'s ! Whereunto have ye betaken your-
selves, ye wise men ? From the moors afar,
resounds a noise of popping, as of multitudes
of corks of the water of suda ; by honourable
members many grouse are slain. Thither have
they departed ; the sons of St. Stephen roam
on the distant heath. When wilt thou return,
oh Brougham; and thou, Campbell of the
North 1 When will ye renew your battles, oh ye heroes \ when will ye
shake our sides again ? And thou, Field Marshal Duke of Welling-
ton, unto whom art thou presenting thy compliments ? and where art
thou speechifying, Peel of the sliding scale 1
Closed is the theatre of Her Majesty in the Haymarket. Around it
are the shops of various tradespeople ; within it is—solitude. Perfume-
less is thy pit, oh Opera House ! white-kid-gloveless are thy stalls E
Cooked are the capers ; mute is the voice of song. They have flitted, like
swallows, the artists of a foreign land. How have they flown, laden with
the golden spoil ? They have flown upon the wings of steam : with the
spring they shall return : and the coxcomb shall be joyful in the Alley of
Fops.
At Almack's all is over. Nought is there but room in the Rooms of
Willis. Beneath the bright chandelier, to the band of Jullien, the
Nobility and Gentry polk no more. Where is the leader, of the whito-
waistcoat, and when shall he revisit town ? Tenantless are the mansions
of the Square of Grosvenor ; nobody dwells in the abodes of Belgrave.
Drearily from second stories frown the closed shutters of the aristocracy %.
dark is the eclipse of drawing-rooms. The life of fashion, also, hath
departed from the houses of Bloomsbury, and Fiddlefaddle hath shut up>
the windows thereof. Where are they of the family ? They have-
retreated to the two-pair back.
Weep, Gunter, ice king of celebrity ; mourn Veret, glory of Reger.i
Street. With the season have ceased the parties of evening, and the
demand of beauty for lemonade and cream : in the morning the calls foF
mock-turtle are few ; so of an afternoon are the orders of coffee. Pipe
your eyes, drapers of Regent Street ; lament, tailors of the Street ofi
Bond. Cry amain, ye foremen ; raise the wail, walkers of shops.
Vanished are your customers, flat is business. The thoroughfares n»-
longer are lined with carriages ; empty is Rotten Row. The elite of Ton
have gone to Tonbridge ; the superior classes to the sea-side ; the circles
of exclusiveness to the Continent. The nobility and gentry have made-
themselves scarce. Noiseless are the pavements ; save with the tramp,
of the policeman, and the tread of the occasional and peripatetic passenger.
Desertion hath darkened the Clubs of Pall Mall : desolation is paramount
in the Places of Pimlico.
RAILWAY UxMONS.
As much fraud is said to have been carried on by the amalgamation of
projected Railways, we beg leave to suggest that the fact of such junctions-
being contemplated should be published, to give an opportunity to-
interested parties for protesting against the intended union. The form
might be something similar to a publication of the banns of marriage, andi
instead of being asked in change, the railways might be asked at the Royal
Exchange, or any other convenient locality. It would then be competent
for any party to forbid the banns, and prevent the union until inquiries-
could be made as to its being suitable. An incompatibility of station,
might be a good ground of objection, and the high position of one would
also be a reason for preventing its union with another on a very low level.
The same principle might be applied to proposed Railways between dif-
ferent places, calculated to form unions that can be productive of no good'
to either party. If, for instance, it had been asked if any one knew any
just cause or impediment why Kensington Canal should not be joined to»
Wormwood Scrubs, it would have saved a great deal of trouble to both
parties. As it is, they have been living quite apart; for want of means-
has prevented that communication between them, which was the alleged
object of their union. If the London and Birmingham had not taken pity
on the unfortunate couple, got them out of their difficulties, and taken
them into its employ, we really do not know what would have become of-
them.
ILLIBERALITY ON BOTH SIDES.
The wind has been playing Mag's diversions with the tiles of the
Tuileries, sending them flying in all directions. The Carlists declare
this is the first time they recollect Louis Philippe keeping open house.
prove on viva, voce testimony. He would not charge the Insolvent
■with embezzlement : no, lie would not quite do that. But he would
show that she had, in the most flagrant manner, misapplied the
funds placed in trust at her disposal for far other purposes. Ue
would show that she had received moneys in order to build places of
immortal comfort for the poor, and that—they might call it maternal
weakness if they would—she had laid out such moneys in the pur-
chasing, not of houses—oh ! no, houses would not satisfy her, but
palaces—for her children. He could prove what she had done for
one of her sons.
She had laid out 30,000?. on a palace for Rochester-" the beams
of his house were cedar, and his rafters were fir." And he (the
learned counsel) would again ask if such a person was entitled to
the indulgence of that Court. "What ! they remanded miserable
mechanics—untaught, wretched men, for reckless expenditure—and
would they wink at the unparalleled, the unchristian extravagance
of the Insolvent ? lie (the counsel) would now call the attention of
the Commissioner to one important fact. He would go back to the
origin, the early life of Mother Church, and would prove that her
babyhood, ay, her youth, was passed in privation ; that her greatest
comfort, her truest pride—if, indeed, in those days she could feel
pride at anything—was to cast down the outside fashions of the
world—to stand, as it were, tiptoe upon earth, her hand reaching
towards heaven. In those days, she went forth in sweet simplicity,
like Rebecca to the well—and did not, like the Insolvent before
them, keep red-nosed butlers.
In conclusion, the learned gentleman, on the part of his client,
John Bull, begged that bail might not be granted.
The learned Commissioner said this was a bad case—a very bad
case : nevertheless he would not refuse bail. When the Insolvent
came up to pass her examination, the learned counsel would then
have a further opportunity of opposing her.
Mrs. Church then left the Court; and, as our reporter under-
stood, went off in the Bishop of London's carriage, that her nerves
might be properly attuned amid the groves of Fulham.
THE CONTESTED BEADLEDOM.
his election, which has kept a whole suburb in a
state of fermentation for months, threatening to
burst the very district in which it was bottled up,
came off at the appointed spot on the day that had
been agreed upon. As the candidates came to the
hustings, they were greeted with the cheers of one
party and the cabbage-leaves of the other. Pum-
m ell, who wore the crimson collar of Modesty and
the golden hat-band of the ancient order of Merry
Flunkies, looked remarkably well ; but a flush of
the nose, and a quivering of the eye-lash, told what
was going on beneath. The second candidate
advanced with a rapid step, and, bowing ceremoni-
ously to the crowd, retired as it was supposed from
the contest, but in fact only to refresh at the tap of
the Marquis of Granbv, said to have been painted by Hogarth for a
small score which he had run up with the landlord, an
honest fellow, who could brew a better cup of sack
than any wineherd in Kensington.
The polling having commenced, each candidate con-
tinued addressing every elector that came up to vote ;
and Pummell's homely expression of '•' Give us your
support, old fellow," went home to the hearts of many
who were only disgusted by what they called the
formal palaver of the opposition candidate. As the
time for the official declaration of the poll approached,
the excitement became terrible, and Pummell several
times fainted away with agitation, while his opponent only sustained him-
self by frequent visits to the tap of the Marquis of Granbv. At length
the result of the election was announced 10 be an equality of votes for
both parties, when, having: consulted with their friends, the candidates
tossed up, and Pummell having sung out tails, to which the populace
responded with a loud shout of " tails it is," he was declared duly elected.
new line of business.
We understand that medical students, instead of walking the hospitals,
intend to apply for permission to walk the different railways, as, from the
number of accidents that occur on each line, they expect to finish their
surgical education in one-half of the usual period.
THE DESERTED CITY.
(an 0ssian1c fragment.)
ow empty is Westminster ; empty as thy purse,
oh Bard ! The Hall no longer echoes to th«
bounce of the barrister ; silenced in its courts
is the hum of law. Hushed in St. Stephen's
is the voice of braying ; whither are ye gone ?
oh, M.P.'s ! Whereunto have ye betaken your-
selves, ye wise men ? From the moors afar,
resounds a noise of popping, as of multitudes
of corks of the water of suda ; by honourable
members many grouse are slain. Thither have
they departed ; the sons of St. Stephen roam
on the distant heath. When wilt thou return,
oh Brougham; and thou, Campbell of the
North 1 When will ye renew your battles, oh ye heroes \ when will ye
shake our sides again ? And thou, Field Marshal Duke of Welling-
ton, unto whom art thou presenting thy compliments ? and where art
thou speechifying, Peel of the sliding scale 1
Closed is the theatre of Her Majesty in the Haymarket. Around it
are the shops of various tradespeople ; within it is—solitude. Perfume-
less is thy pit, oh Opera House ! white-kid-gloveless are thy stalls E
Cooked are the capers ; mute is the voice of song. They have flitted, like
swallows, the artists of a foreign land. How have they flown, laden with
the golden spoil ? They have flown upon the wings of steam : with the
spring they shall return : and the coxcomb shall be joyful in the Alley of
Fops.
At Almack's all is over. Nought is there but room in the Rooms of
Willis. Beneath the bright chandelier, to the band of Jullien, the
Nobility and Gentry polk no more. Where is the leader, of the whito-
waistcoat, and when shall he revisit town ? Tenantless are the mansions
of the Square of Grosvenor ; nobody dwells in the abodes of Belgrave.
Drearily from second stories frown the closed shutters of the aristocracy %.
dark is the eclipse of drawing-rooms. The life of fashion, also, hath
departed from the houses of Bloomsbury, and Fiddlefaddle hath shut up>
the windows thereof. Where are they of the family ? They have-
retreated to the two-pair back.
Weep, Gunter, ice king of celebrity ; mourn Veret, glory of Reger.i
Street. With the season have ceased the parties of evening, and the
demand of beauty for lemonade and cream : in the morning the calls foF
mock-turtle are few ; so of an afternoon are the orders of coffee. Pipe
your eyes, drapers of Regent Street ; lament, tailors of the Street ofi
Bond. Cry amain, ye foremen ; raise the wail, walkers of shops.
Vanished are your customers, flat is business. The thoroughfares n»-
longer are lined with carriages ; empty is Rotten Row. The elite of Ton
have gone to Tonbridge ; the superior classes to the sea-side ; the circles
of exclusiveness to the Continent. The nobility and gentry have made-
themselves scarce. Noiseless are the pavements ; save with the tramp,
of the policeman, and the tread of the occasional and peripatetic passenger.
Desertion hath darkened the Clubs of Pall Mall : desolation is paramount
in the Places of Pimlico.
RAILWAY UxMONS.
As much fraud is said to have been carried on by the amalgamation of
projected Railways, we beg leave to suggest that the fact of such junctions-
being contemplated should be published, to give an opportunity to-
interested parties for protesting against the intended union. The form
might be something similar to a publication of the banns of marriage, andi
instead of being asked in change, the railways might be asked at the Royal
Exchange, or any other convenient locality. It would then be competent
for any party to forbid the banns, and prevent the union until inquiries-
could be made as to its being suitable. An incompatibility of station,
might be a good ground of objection, and the high position of one would
also be a reason for preventing its union with another on a very low level.
The same principle might be applied to proposed Railways between dif-
ferent places, calculated to form unions that can be productive of no good'
to either party. If, for instance, it had been asked if any one knew any
just cause or impediment why Kensington Canal should not be joined to»
Wormwood Scrubs, it would have saved a great deal of trouble to both
parties. As it is, they have been living quite apart; for want of means-
has prevented that communication between them, which was the alleged
object of their union. If the London and Birmingham had not taken pity
on the unfortunate couple, got them out of their difficulties, and taken
them into its employ, we really do not know what would have become of-
them.
ILLIBERALITY ON BOTH SIDES.
The wind has been playing Mag's diversions with the tiles of the
Tuileries, sending them flying in all directions. The Carlists declare
this is the first time they recollect Louis Philippe keeping open house.