DOI issue:
July to December, 1845
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16541#0147
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
139
James the Second has declared his intention of bringing an action of
THE RAILWAY COMMITTEE-MAN. ejectment against William the Third, and of suing him for the mesne
profits ; while William, on his part, retorts, with the most unmeasured
denunciations of Popery, in the public prints
Cromwell has hitherto taken but little part in the quarrel, although
Charles the First has resumed all the awkward stiffness of his manner
towards him, and the smoking parties have long been abandoned.
further particulars.
A coalition has taken place. By some extraordinary management on
the part of several historians, who have been admitted to the Royal
dinner-table, all the conflicting parties have been reconciled to each
other ; and each consents tacitly to admit his rival's claim to a statue,
with one exception. All the crowned heads have turned fiercely against
poor old Cromwell, who sits quietly, with a grim calmness in his bluff,
stern face, and puckers his wart into a smile, as the storm beats upon him
from all quarters. It has been voted, nem. con., that he is to be excluded.
The only tenable ground for this, is the fact that he never assumed the name
of King, but has " Protector " on his cards. It seems generally agreed
that the want of polish in his manners, and a theoretical preference for
republican opinions, had created a prejudice against him in certain
quarters, which has been taken advantage of.
I was speaking to the old gentleman (who is very affable) a few days
ago. " It don't matter a brass farthing to me," was his reply, when
I condoled with him on the scurvy treatment he had met with. " Till
they can blot my name out of the book of the History of England, the
world will know there was a man Cromwell, who stepped in between a
despot and a debauchee ; and as for the statue, I never was over-fond of
graven images. I'm not squeamish about the company I keep, and I 've
m __• fiv h/tt>i 1. l t.-i n I always treated Charles with respect down here ; but, if it comes to a
Ihe excessive sufferings of the M P.'s who have sat on Railway Com- ■ r. c ■ <. e r tm +i_____* a „ __;i„~> 1
» . . j . . . .. , J , . question of private teeling, 1 d rather not stand on a pedestal between
mittees are such that they have wasted not on y their time, but their! u. _ _• • j i * a r .._ f.L - T
v j- u w Jri _ i- iT i _•_ i ir • him and his precious imp of darkness. And for the matter of that, I can
bodies. Mr. Wakley, the Coroner, who says he has left ha f of himself m . *[, • j / a u • t S
T , » _,, ' . . ., 1 . ', , _ , tell those gentlemen with the crowns on, over yonder, (and he pointed with
the Isle ot Sky, on account ot the exercise he has taken there, must be a i- • , T i _ r a- * £i r n • _
- _ , •" , ... , . ,, , .„ t, , , ' . his pipe,) tliat I never knew a set of more disreputable fellows in mv life ;
man of substance, compared with the dwindled M.P.s, who have been a e t -j , ., ■ ^ , , t • lk ' i
4 „ i _ -li. i. o t> r» • n- and some of my Ironsides were no great things to boast of in the way of
gradually worn down to semi-skeletons. It Sir R. Peel goes on inflicting ej,arac(;er »
such labours on the members, he will have no thick-and-thin supporters, for «_■ A • i j , , ,, ,
n -ii v, »„■ u i , • ^ . r,^. , " , ' After this unusually long and coherent speech, the old soldier resumed
all will be thin who support his Government. The above portraits of a , • • / s T , , {■ ' -r v „„\.„a • <■
.„__v-.<•„-, „ a (t 4l ■ , . i • . ,. his pipe, with a grunt ; and I left him, looking as sour as it Vane had ust
■Committee-man before and after the session is a melancholy instance ot . K. a \ ■ ± j . -c e.u \x L ■
reduced M.P.'s who are brought down, like damaged goods, nearly one- tT n, ° , ^Monarchy enthusiasm
•fealf by the alarming sacrifice. RS'TThe f»»°wlnS P]acarKd h^8 )ast#been J%Ued %om ^e committee-
J ° , room of the " Society for the Promotion ot Pure Royalty all over the
World " :—
" We, the undersigned, Kings of England, de jure or de facto, or other-
wise, beg to state, that we consider ourselves Kings of England
in the true and proper sense of the word ; and that we have
unanimously agreed, that one Oliver Cromwell, having for
some time sat at our table, on sufferance, as one of ourselves, the
said Oliver Cromwell had no just right and title to such place
before the session. after 1 he session.
SOVEREIGNS AT LOGGERHEADS.
Hades [from the Ghost of our awn Reporter).
Things are m a dreadfully disturbed state in our world here. The , amongst us ; and we do, individually and collectively, declare
announcement that it had been determined to erect statues of the Kings ; our opimou that the said Oliver Cromwell, being a person of
of England in your new houses of Parliament, has thrown an apple of. rude and UD£,entlemanlike habits, and having been guilty of a
contention into our pleasant little community. act of personal violence to Charles Stuart, one of our
A month ago, the harmony that prevailed was delightful. You might! bod we hereby exclude the said Oliver Cromwell from our
have seen Harold and William the Norman cracking a social cup of' royal mess "
hippocras, and helping each other to boar's head and cygnet with the best' ' , , „ ,
.grace in the world. Henry the Fourth, who had resumed his title of: (Signed) Here follow the Royal Signatures.
Duke of Lancaster, after making the most ample apologies to Richard______
the Second, has for centuries past striven, by constant attention to that J
rather weak monarch, to repair his unhandsome treatment of him in i
Pomfret Castle. Henry the Sixth and Edward the Fourth (whose' A Go°a ^ospect for the Theatres.
continual quarrels over their social game of cribbage led to our sending
them to Coventry for a long time,) had patched up a hollow place, and
were, at all events, civil to each other. Richard the Third (who is by
no means the disagreeable person that Shakspeare has represented him,)
had expressed his contrition to poor little Edward the Fifth, and the
boy used to say he was rather obliged to his uncle for easing his young
brows of a crown that would probably have caused him many a head-ache ;
while Charles the First, who has long got over his antipathy to tobacco,
might have been seen blowing a social cloud ,and discussing abstruse
points of dogmatic theology with Cromwell, whose bluff, soldier-like
manners had made him rather unpopular. William the Third had
seriously set about converting James thk Second to low Church views in
religion, and constitutional principles in politics, and with good prospects
of success.
Now all is changed. Since this unlucky gallery of Royal personages
was projected, they have taken to discussing their respective claims to the
throne, and private characters ; which, between ourselves, is ticklish ground
for most of them : de jure and de facto are ringing in our ears—you can't
take a walk without being dazzled by huge placards, such as—
" Harold and the Saxon Line."
" Vote for William the Norman and the strong hand ! "
" Who killed Richard the Third ? "
" Edward the Fourth begs respectfully to state that he has no
connection with the rival branch over the way."
The Worcester Journal talks of a new kind of wheat, which has been
grown with the greatest success in that neighbourhood. It is called
the " Burletta Wheat." This has created quite a sensation in theatrical
circles, and we may consequently expect a tolerable crop of Burlettas
about Christmas, that being the harvest-time of the year with all the
theatres. We understand Mr. Webster has a sample of this wheat
already planted in his green-room in the Haymarket. It is growing
on rather a small plot, but is expected, if not forced too much, to fill in
a very short time the whole theatre. This wheat requires a generous
soil to bring it to perfection, and a very severe drilling is necessary
sometimes to make it stand at all, for it does not thrive equally well in
all theatrical climates. It belongs to the class of tender annuals, though
it has been known in some instances to bear fruit twice a year. When
it does take root in a theatre, it is impossible to calculate the number
of pounds a manager will bag from it in one season. It makes a most
delicious kind of bread, that managers and actors are very fond of.
THE SMALLEST IMPROVEMENT THANKFULLY RECEIVED.
The difficulty, it seems, with railways is to invent a whistle that shall
give intimation to another train of approaching danger. We are sure
the public would be too grateful for any improvement of the kind, espe-
cially as they now find that, if they lose their lives on a pleasure excursion,
it is paying rather too dearly for their whistle.
139
James the Second has declared his intention of bringing an action of
THE RAILWAY COMMITTEE-MAN. ejectment against William the Third, and of suing him for the mesne
profits ; while William, on his part, retorts, with the most unmeasured
denunciations of Popery, in the public prints
Cromwell has hitherto taken but little part in the quarrel, although
Charles the First has resumed all the awkward stiffness of his manner
towards him, and the smoking parties have long been abandoned.
further particulars.
A coalition has taken place. By some extraordinary management on
the part of several historians, who have been admitted to the Royal
dinner-table, all the conflicting parties have been reconciled to each
other ; and each consents tacitly to admit his rival's claim to a statue,
with one exception. All the crowned heads have turned fiercely against
poor old Cromwell, who sits quietly, with a grim calmness in his bluff,
stern face, and puckers his wart into a smile, as the storm beats upon him
from all quarters. It has been voted, nem. con., that he is to be excluded.
The only tenable ground for this, is the fact that he never assumed the name
of King, but has " Protector " on his cards. It seems generally agreed
that the want of polish in his manners, and a theoretical preference for
republican opinions, had created a prejudice against him in certain
quarters, which has been taken advantage of.
I was speaking to the old gentleman (who is very affable) a few days
ago. " It don't matter a brass farthing to me," was his reply, when
I condoled with him on the scurvy treatment he had met with. " Till
they can blot my name out of the book of the History of England, the
world will know there was a man Cromwell, who stepped in between a
despot and a debauchee ; and as for the statue, I never was over-fond of
graven images. I'm not squeamish about the company I keep, and I 've
m __• fiv h/tt>i 1. l t.-i n I always treated Charles with respect down here ; but, if it comes to a
Ihe excessive sufferings of the M P.'s who have sat on Railway Com- ■ r. c ■ <. e r tm +i_____* a „ __;i„~> 1
» . . j . . . .. , J , . question of private teeling, 1 d rather not stand on a pedestal between
mittees are such that they have wasted not on y their time, but their! u. _ _• • j i * a r .._ f.L - T
v j- u w Jri _ i- iT i _•_ i ir • him and his precious imp of darkness. And for the matter of that, I can
bodies. Mr. Wakley, the Coroner, who says he has left ha f of himself m . *[, • j / a u • t S
T , » _,, ' . . ., 1 . ', , _ , tell those gentlemen with the crowns on, over yonder, (and he pointed with
the Isle ot Sky, on account ot the exercise he has taken there, must be a i- • , T i _ r a- * £i r n • _
- _ , •" , ... , . ,, , .„ t, , , ' . his pipe,) tliat I never knew a set of more disreputable fellows in mv life ;
man of substance, compared with the dwindled M.P.s, who have been a e t -j , ., ■ ^ , , t • lk ' i
4 „ i _ -li. i. o t> r» • n- and some of my Ironsides were no great things to boast of in the way of
gradually worn down to semi-skeletons. It Sir R. Peel goes on inflicting ej,arac(;er »
such labours on the members, he will have no thick-and-thin supporters, for «_■ A • i j , , ,, ,
n -ii v, »„■ u i , • ^ . r,^. , " , ' After this unusually long and coherent speech, the old soldier resumed
all will be thin who support his Government. The above portraits of a , • • / s T , , {■ ' -r v „„\.„a • <■
.„__v-.<•„-, „ a (t 4l ■ , . i • . ,. his pipe, with a grunt ; and I left him, looking as sour as it Vane had ust
■Committee-man before and after the session is a melancholy instance ot . K. a \ ■ ± j . -c e.u \x L ■
reduced M.P.'s who are brought down, like damaged goods, nearly one- tT n, ° , ^Monarchy enthusiasm
•fealf by the alarming sacrifice. RS'TThe f»»°wlnS P]acarKd h^8 )ast#been J%Ued %om ^e committee-
J ° , room of the " Society for the Promotion ot Pure Royalty all over the
World " :—
" We, the undersigned, Kings of England, de jure or de facto, or other-
wise, beg to state, that we consider ourselves Kings of England
in the true and proper sense of the word ; and that we have
unanimously agreed, that one Oliver Cromwell, having for
some time sat at our table, on sufferance, as one of ourselves, the
said Oliver Cromwell had no just right and title to such place
before the session. after 1 he session.
SOVEREIGNS AT LOGGERHEADS.
Hades [from the Ghost of our awn Reporter).
Things are m a dreadfully disturbed state in our world here. The , amongst us ; and we do, individually and collectively, declare
announcement that it had been determined to erect statues of the Kings ; our opimou that the said Oliver Cromwell, being a person of
of England in your new houses of Parliament, has thrown an apple of. rude and UD£,entlemanlike habits, and having been guilty of a
contention into our pleasant little community. act of personal violence to Charles Stuart, one of our
A month ago, the harmony that prevailed was delightful. You might! bod we hereby exclude the said Oliver Cromwell from our
have seen Harold and William the Norman cracking a social cup of' royal mess "
hippocras, and helping each other to boar's head and cygnet with the best' ' , , „ ,
.grace in the world. Henry the Fourth, who had resumed his title of: (Signed) Here follow the Royal Signatures.
Duke of Lancaster, after making the most ample apologies to Richard______
the Second, has for centuries past striven, by constant attention to that J
rather weak monarch, to repair his unhandsome treatment of him in i
Pomfret Castle. Henry the Sixth and Edward the Fourth (whose' A Go°a ^ospect for the Theatres.
continual quarrels over their social game of cribbage led to our sending
them to Coventry for a long time,) had patched up a hollow place, and
were, at all events, civil to each other. Richard the Third (who is by
no means the disagreeable person that Shakspeare has represented him,)
had expressed his contrition to poor little Edward the Fifth, and the
boy used to say he was rather obliged to his uncle for easing his young
brows of a crown that would probably have caused him many a head-ache ;
while Charles the First, who has long got over his antipathy to tobacco,
might have been seen blowing a social cloud ,and discussing abstruse
points of dogmatic theology with Cromwell, whose bluff, soldier-like
manners had made him rather unpopular. William the Third had
seriously set about converting James thk Second to low Church views in
religion, and constitutional principles in politics, and with good prospects
of success.
Now all is changed. Since this unlucky gallery of Royal personages
was projected, they have taken to discussing their respective claims to the
throne, and private characters ; which, between ourselves, is ticklish ground
for most of them : de jure and de facto are ringing in our ears—you can't
take a walk without being dazzled by huge placards, such as—
" Harold and the Saxon Line."
" Vote for William the Norman and the strong hand ! "
" Who killed Richard the Third ? "
" Edward the Fourth begs respectfully to state that he has no
connection with the rival branch over the way."
The Worcester Journal talks of a new kind of wheat, which has been
grown with the greatest success in that neighbourhood. It is called
the " Burletta Wheat." This has created quite a sensation in theatrical
circles, and we may consequently expect a tolerable crop of Burlettas
about Christmas, that being the harvest-time of the year with all the
theatres. We understand Mr. Webster has a sample of this wheat
already planted in his green-room in the Haymarket. It is growing
on rather a small plot, but is expected, if not forced too much, to fill in
a very short time the whole theatre. This wheat requires a generous
soil to bring it to perfection, and a very severe drilling is necessary
sometimes to make it stand at all, for it does not thrive equally well in
all theatrical climates. It belongs to the class of tender annuals, though
it has been known in some instances to bear fruit twice a year. When
it does take root in a theatre, it is impossible to calculate the number
of pounds a manager will bag from it in one season. It makes a most
delicious kind of bread, that managers and actors are very fond of.
THE SMALLEST IMPROVEMENT THANKFULLY RECEIVED.
The difficulty, it seems, with railways is to invent a whistle that shall
give intimation to another train of approaching danger. We are sure
the public would be too grateful for any improvement of the kind, espe-
cially as they now find that, if they lose their lives on a pleasure excursion,
it is paying rather too dearly for their whistle.