Punch (9.1845)

186

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

COMIC SCULPTURE.

aving often laughed at the statues
and works of art which adorn the
metropolis in general, and in par-
ticular Trafalgar Square, nothing,
it is our conviction, can be more
manifest than the turn of our
sculptors for the ridiculous, which
they cannot help evincing, in spite
of themselves, even when aiming
most seriously at the Beautiful or
the Sublime. By the pig-tail of
George the Third, this is a fact !
Clearly, the tendency of the English
mind, in sculpture, is towards bur-
lesque. This cannot be repressed : let it therefore be directed. We possess
an abundance of living statesmen, and other great men, whom the artists
of their country could appropriately honour, and follow the bent of their
genius all the while. Let London be embellished in accordance with this.
In one conspicuous situation, for instance, we might have a statue of
Lord Brougham, in a pugilistic attitude—that is, hitting right and left, and
prostrating a friend with one fist, and a foe with the other. In another
might be erected one of Sir Robert Peel, taking his seat between the
two stools of Oraugeism and Repeal, and paying the penalty by the laws
of Physics in such case made and provided. In a third might be dis-
played" Arithmetic, in the person of Mr. Hume, instructing Mayoralty,
also duly embodied, in the art of keeping accounts. In a fourth might
be exhibited a Right Reverend Belisarius, with dog and crosier,
exemplifying the functions of an Ecclesiastical Commissioner.

SCRIP AND SOFT SOAP.

The following advertisement is taken from the Cambridge Chronicle,
of October 11 :—

FM--, SHAREBROKER, C- S-St. I-.

MONEY ADVANCED TO ANY AMOUNT.

N.B.—PRIVATE ROOMS FOR HAIR CUTTING AND DRESSING at the
ensuing Fair.

What a pity St. I-is so far off ! We should like, above all things, to

have our hair cut and curled by Mr. M-. We are extremely curious

to see how the grand amalgamation of the Rothschild and Truefitt lines

is carried on. We suppose Mr. M-goes to the Stock Exchange, buys

up a good bear, returns to Crown Street, puts up an announcement of
" Another Fine Bear Slaughtered," and sells the produce forthwith in
scrip and small allotments. We can imagine his recommending shares
with the same obstinacy a London hairdresser does his " Balms"
and "Essences," and that he does not allow a customer to leave his shop
without having a " Trent Valley " under his arm, or else half-a-dozen
*' Eastern Counties" thrust into his pocket. A barber's shop is not the only
place, however, in this railway age, where money is advanced to people
with the hope of shaving them afterwards.

COLONIES FOR SALE.

It seems that Denmark, being rather hard up, is getting rid of some of
its colonies, after the same fashion as Spain, which mortgaged Cuba for
the benefit of its creditors, who were thus enabled to take cigars for their
overdue dividends.

We understand that Denmark has several small colonial sovereignties
for sale, which it is intended to dispose of shortly, without any reserve
whatever, at the Auction Mart. The fee-simple of a kingdom, with a
reversionary interest in the taxes, after the expenses of Government are
paid, is no bad thing for a millionnaire stag who has made his plum or two
by railways, and requires some very out-of-the-way place to retire to
■while the calls of the different lines in which he is a shareholder are
being clamoured for. A defaulter, who runs off with his pockets full of
other people's money, had better purchase a regular right-down sove-
reignty, where he can have the law all his own way, and abolish at once,
within his own dominions, all liability for debts contracted in another
country.

For the convenience of those who undertake a runaway voyage from
their own liabilities, with a fortune made by stagging, we should
recommend that those colonial kingdoms which are for sale should have
their thrones brought down to the sea-shore, with a broom hanging from
the canopy, to indicate the fact of their being in the market to such
persons as may be travelling past in a foreign vessel.

A placard announcing " This beautiful kingdom to be sold or let, with
or without a ministry," would be an attractive object on the coasts of
those outlandish seas, where the imagination and the swindler love to
Tarel to.

THE CROMWELL STATUE QUESTION.

We are happy to have it in our power to settle the difference that
has long existed as to the propriety of letting Cromwell have a Statue
in the new Houses of Parliament. By dressing him up in the costume
of the middle ages, nobody will know him ; and if nobody knows him,
it matters to nobody whether he is to be found or not among tho
collection of senatorial sculpture. Disguised under the medieval
costume and the very mediocre drawing of the middle age, no one
will know that it is the statue of Cromwell which stands before
them—so that the scruples of the " right divine " party will not be
outraged, while History will be preserved inviolate.

this design of a statue to
CROMWELL,

for the new houses of parliament,
Is Dedicated
TO A. W. PUGTN, ESQ.,

for his determined zeal in keeping up the bad drawing OF
the middle ages,

33« \dmm^

Barry's Portraits.

Mr. Barry's portraits of the statesmen of England are still being
issued in weekly numbers. They are beautifully gilt, and are got up in a
most elegant style. When completed, there will be a portrait for nearly
every member' of the House of Commons. About one hundred are
already out, as will be seen upon counting the number of weathercocks
that adorn the new Palaces of Westminster. When finished, they will
make as handsome a series of political portraits as a nation could desire ;
for each weathercock, on turning, illustrates a principal event in the
original's life, shifting invariably from side to side, and trimming exactly
as the wind blows.