DOI Heft:
July to December, 1845
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16541#0213
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
205
They fill'd the pockets of John the Sold
With scrip and shares instead of gold ;
The gull believed the tale they told :
So they over him came the soldier old.—Ri tooral, &c.
On went John Bull, through thick and thin ;
Through mess and hobble, out and in ;
To see him caught like a rat in a gin,
How all his foes did chuckle and grin !—Ri tooral, &c.
He roarM out " Stop! " and he roar'd out " Stay !"
His face the picture of dire dismay ;
He snatch'd at each straw that cross'd his way,
But nothing could his course delay.—Ri tooral, &c.
At last his pocket-buttons broke,
And out flew scrip and shares like smoke,
And his enemies made his case their joke,
"Whilst a panic rent his heart of oak !—Ri tooral, &c.
His weight and substance now more light,
More rapid grew his engine's flight,
Until it wax'd tremendous quite,
And John was quickly out of sight.—Ri tooral, &c.
O'er land and sea, o'er rock and shoal,
Across the line, beyond the pole,
In short, to utter ruin's goal,
Rush'd mad John Bull ; alas, poor soul!—Ri tooral, &c.
MORAL.
We've sung a song both free and plain,
Now let a moral close our strain :
All swindling practices disdain,
Nor mix with rogues to share their gain.—Ri tooral, &c.
THE STAG OUT OF LUCK.
* Oh, Mart ! I've nothing "but some Diddlesex Scrip about me : so
you will put that little matter down, if you please !"
the matrimonial districts.
The Queen op Spain, it is now settled, is to marry a Saxe-Coburg.
The Agricultural Society, we hear, intend sending their gold medal to the
•Grasd Duke, in admiration of the very great perfection to which he has
carried in his possessions the art of husbandry.
I HE FLEET STREET PASS.
Now that Term has commenced, the gentlemen of the Bar will
have to effect the awful pass from the Temple to Chancery Lane,
which seems to threaten almost innumerable difficulties. The
blending of ravine and rubbish may be picturesque, but it is highly
inconvenient; and to a Barrister in his wig and gown, the expedi-
tion must be one of extreme awkwardness. It is believed that guides
will be stationed at the foot of Chancery Lane and the Temple, to
escort the traveller across the dangerous heights and depths he will
have to encounter. Leaping-poles will be provided at Groom's, the
pastrycook's.
THE STATE OF THE SUBURBS.
Our efforts to throw the light of civilisation and gas along the Ken-
sington Road have been successful, but our triumph over the obstinacy
of the government of that suburb will not be complete till we have paved
the way for the progress of the human race, which is now obliged to walk
up to its knees in mud for want of the footpath being properly attended
to. The pass, from the station of our own snug little suburban Railway
to the northern frontier on the one hand, and the bush of the Shepherds
on the other, is in wet weather a sort of Pontine marsh in miniature. The
passage is exceedingly dangerous, and, indeed, has been compared to the
Goodwin Sands, for it is very possible that a nurserymaid starting with a
cargo of children may founder on the frightful flats and mud shoals of
that barbarous district. The authorities met the other day at the pump
to consider what was to be done ; and one of the body being unanimously
called to the spout, he held forth with copious eloquence for nearly a
quarter of an hour. It was ultimately agreed to offer to buy the Ken-
sington Railway at the price of old iron, and lay it down instead of pave-
ment as far as it would go, by way of experiment.
Parliamentary Statues.
It is the patriotic intention of O'Connell to attend in the House of Com-
mons to oppose the proposition to erect statues to Bacon and Oliver Crom-
well. The learned gentleman will meet the motion with an amendment
that shall substitute for the aforesaid worthies, the statues of Guy Fawkes
and—himself. Will the bold-hearted conspirator feel flattered by the
association ? We think not.
chapter of accidents.
Persons have seriously recommended Smithfield Market as a railway
terminus, on account of the number of accidents which occur there every
year. We really do not see how a railway is likely to lessen the number
of accidents; but the fact of Bartholomew's Hospital being on the spot,
is certainly a great recommendation in favour of the Terminus.
On, on he flew, with speed intense,
Past all the bounds of common sense;
At last his fright became immense,
And he shriek'd with fear for his darling pence.—Ri tooral, &c.
205
They fill'd the pockets of John the Sold
With scrip and shares instead of gold ;
The gull believed the tale they told :
So they over him came the soldier old.—Ri tooral, &c.
On went John Bull, through thick and thin ;
Through mess and hobble, out and in ;
To see him caught like a rat in a gin,
How all his foes did chuckle and grin !—Ri tooral, &c.
He roarM out " Stop! " and he roar'd out " Stay !"
His face the picture of dire dismay ;
He snatch'd at each straw that cross'd his way,
But nothing could his course delay.—Ri tooral, &c.
At last his pocket-buttons broke,
And out flew scrip and shares like smoke,
And his enemies made his case their joke,
"Whilst a panic rent his heart of oak !—Ri tooral, &c.
His weight and substance now more light,
More rapid grew his engine's flight,
Until it wax'd tremendous quite,
And John was quickly out of sight.—Ri tooral, &c.
O'er land and sea, o'er rock and shoal,
Across the line, beyond the pole,
In short, to utter ruin's goal,
Rush'd mad John Bull ; alas, poor soul!—Ri tooral, &c.
MORAL.
We've sung a song both free and plain,
Now let a moral close our strain :
All swindling practices disdain,
Nor mix with rogues to share their gain.—Ri tooral, &c.
THE STAG OUT OF LUCK.
* Oh, Mart ! I've nothing "but some Diddlesex Scrip about me : so
you will put that little matter down, if you please !"
the matrimonial districts.
The Queen op Spain, it is now settled, is to marry a Saxe-Coburg.
The Agricultural Society, we hear, intend sending their gold medal to the
•Grasd Duke, in admiration of the very great perfection to which he has
carried in his possessions the art of husbandry.
I HE FLEET STREET PASS.
Now that Term has commenced, the gentlemen of the Bar will
have to effect the awful pass from the Temple to Chancery Lane,
which seems to threaten almost innumerable difficulties. The
blending of ravine and rubbish may be picturesque, but it is highly
inconvenient; and to a Barrister in his wig and gown, the expedi-
tion must be one of extreme awkwardness. It is believed that guides
will be stationed at the foot of Chancery Lane and the Temple, to
escort the traveller across the dangerous heights and depths he will
have to encounter. Leaping-poles will be provided at Groom's, the
pastrycook's.
THE STATE OF THE SUBURBS.
Our efforts to throw the light of civilisation and gas along the Ken-
sington Road have been successful, but our triumph over the obstinacy
of the government of that suburb will not be complete till we have paved
the way for the progress of the human race, which is now obliged to walk
up to its knees in mud for want of the footpath being properly attended
to. The pass, from the station of our own snug little suburban Railway
to the northern frontier on the one hand, and the bush of the Shepherds
on the other, is in wet weather a sort of Pontine marsh in miniature. The
passage is exceedingly dangerous, and, indeed, has been compared to the
Goodwin Sands, for it is very possible that a nurserymaid starting with a
cargo of children may founder on the frightful flats and mud shoals of
that barbarous district. The authorities met the other day at the pump
to consider what was to be done ; and one of the body being unanimously
called to the spout, he held forth with copious eloquence for nearly a
quarter of an hour. It was ultimately agreed to offer to buy the Ken-
sington Railway at the price of old iron, and lay it down instead of pave-
ment as far as it would go, by way of experiment.
Parliamentary Statues.
It is the patriotic intention of O'Connell to attend in the House of Com-
mons to oppose the proposition to erect statues to Bacon and Oliver Crom-
well. The learned gentleman will meet the motion with an amendment
that shall substitute for the aforesaid worthies, the statues of Guy Fawkes
and—himself. Will the bold-hearted conspirator feel flattered by the
association ? We think not.
chapter of accidents.
Persons have seriously recommended Smithfield Market as a railway
terminus, on account of the number of accidents which occur there every
year. We really do not see how a railway is likely to lessen the number
of accidents; but the fact of Bartholomew's Hospital being on the spot,
is certainly a great recommendation in favour of the Terminus.
On, on he flew, with speed intense,
Past all the bounds of common sense;
At last his fright became immense,
And he shriek'd with fear for his darling pence.—Ri tooral, &c.