Punch (10.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 40

THE POLITICAL CAMELEON.

Oft has it been my lot to see
As great a fool as fool could be,
Attending meetings, with a shout,
That 'twould be better Peel were out;
While others noisily maintain
They 're glad that he is in again.
One would at once refuse submission,
And one woold bow to his decision.

Two politicians, each inclin'd,
To be of quite a different mind
Began to have a quiet chat
On sometimes this, and sometimes that,
Discours'd awhile, with earnest zeal,
About that bold Cameleon, Peel,
And very energetic grew
Upon the subject of his hue.
" A stranger animal," cries one,
" Sure never bask'd in fortune's sun :
A Tory's body, slow and long,
A landlord's head—Free-trader's tonsrue :
Its heart to quick repeal inclined,
Bat for its length of tail behind,
Which checks its pace : and then its hue,
Did anything e'er look so blue ? "
" Hold, there ! " the other quick replies,
" He'8 green : I saw it with these eyes,
As late upon the ground he lav,
Thrown over in the oddest way ;
Resigned—without a cause I mean—
Could anything be half so green ? "
* I've seen him, sir, as well as you :
I tell you that he look'd quite blue,
When he awhile was in the shade,
And I, John Russell, progress made."
" 'Twas green, sir ; green, sir, I assure ye."
" Blue ! " cries the other, in a fury.
So high at last the contest rose,
They very nearly came to blows ;
When luckily they spied a third :
To bim the matter they referr'd,
And begg'd he'd tell them if he knew
Whether the Peel was green or blue.

Sirs," cried the umpire, " cease j our pother ;
He's really neither one nor t'other.
I saw the animal one night,
Viewed by the House of Commons light:
I marked him well—I can't forget,
For then he seemed aa black as jet.
You stare, my friends ! " " Indeed we do."
"Tis green."—" 'Tis black !"—" Nonsense ! 'tis blue.'

"Snppooe, as we are all in doubt,"

Cries one, " at once we turn him out."

Before they'd time to do it quite,

The Peel appeared—and lo ' twas white !

All stared —and all looked wondrous wise.

" My friends," the sleek Cameleon cries,

" You ail are right and all are wrong,

I'm all by turns, and nothing long.

' Tis just according to the view,

That I am black, or green, or blue.

I but reflect each passing ray

That seems the brightest for the day j

And friends, I hold it no disgrace

To suit my colour to my place."

PETITION TO KING HUDSON.

TO HIS MAJESTY, HUDSON I., KING OF THE RAILWAYS.

May it please your Majesty. The Prayer of your
Petitioner humbly showeth :
That by reason of the misconduct, negligence, and inebriety of divers and
sundry Stokers, Engineers, Policemen, and others, your Majesty's
servants, various and several collision?, explosions, and over-
settings, are continually taking place on the Railways, your Ma-
jesty's dominions.

That by such collisions and other accidents, many serious fractures and
dislocations of skulls, necks, legs, and arms, often involving loss of
life ; not to mention contusions, bumps, bruises, and the like inju-
ries, very grievous to °ndure ; do constantly happen to Travellers in
the said dominions of your Majesty.

That further, owing to the mismanagement of certain of your Majesty's
Ministers-, Directors of your Railways, Engines, impropetly con-
structed, are allowed to travel at an unsafe speed, on some of the
said Railways, the Highways of your Majesty, so to speak; inso-
much that your Petitioner has been informed, and verily believes,
that one Major-General Pasley did lately ride and travel on one of
the said engines, which •' rolltd like a ship at sea."

That your Petitioner, besides the usual complement of legs, arms, and
other bodily proportions, has likewise a hump upon his shoulders,
whereof he is very tender.

That through the above-mentioned misconduct and mismanagement of
your Majrsty's Officers aforesaid, your Petitiorer can never travel
in your Majesty's dominions but in bodily fear and trembling for his
life, and for the safety and integrity of his said hump, and other
limbs and members to him belonging.

Your Petitioner, therefore, doth humbly pray that your Majesty will
forthwith take such measures as to your wisdom mf>y seem fit, for
causing and compelling such Stokers, Engineers, Policemen, and
Directors, your Majesty's Officers and Servants, each and all in their
several capacities, to lo..k sharp, be alive, and mind what tbey are
about, to the end that by their carelessness and negligence the lives
and limbs of your Petitioner, and of the Public at large, may no
longer be jeopardised and endangered. And your Petitioner, as in
duty bound, will ever pray, &c.

(Signed) EeflCSt.

Sussex Arcadians.

The Duke of Richmono ought to have lived in the golden days of
Virgil's shepherds. Their guilelessness would have harmoniously accorded
with the ducal mind. Nevertheless, the swains tf Sussex are not all
unworthy of the " Georgics." Such creatures still exist, albeit this hard-
dealing, money-changing world, may doubt the pleasing verity. His
Grace of Richmond too, has recently expressed his determination to keep
his Sussex Strephons in all their primitive purity. He has installed
himself the custos morum of the rural population of tbe county, declaring
that he would " not send the agricultural labourers, ivho>e integrity A«
knew to be great, to be debauched in Manchester <r Leed«." It i->
especially kind of his Grace thus sedulously to guard the integrity of thd
labourer?. It is very kind of him to think of their souls ; nevertheless,
let him listen to the voices of Goatacre, and remember that labourers
have also bellies. But no. Probttas laudatur et— alget.

THE CAP WILL FIT.
In consequence of the recent displays of wisdom on the part of certain
Dukes, it has been proposed, in Dame-schools, to substitute the Ducal
Coronet for tbe Dunce's Cap.