Punch: Punch (11.1846)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

91

A FIGURE OF FUN,

There are wheels ■within -wheels, especially in Downing-street. Who
could have anticipated that the peripatetic protectionism of Lord
Geoege Bentinck and Me. Diseaeli was to end in the elevation of
the Duke to his much-contested seat on the arch of Constitution-hill ?
By what mysterious influences, working on the Duke of Rutland,
this has been accomplished we cannot pretend even to guess. But Me.
C. Berkeley declared it in the House of Commons. Luckily there is
one chance still left to the public taste. The Duke is to be merely a
temporary erection. He is
to stand for three weeks
on trial; to be put up to
view on his bronze horse
as those of flesh and blood
in the neighbourhood at
Tattersall's. The public
suffrages should be ga-
thered during this time. 0 m, I I against that of the "competent
Perhaps the sub-commit- ^ §J[ §j[ j pe"°nf„ ..
tee will take it in turns to
stand, like omnibus time-
keepers, note-book in hand, (
to set down the comments

of the spectators. The Times suggests a register and a balance-sheet.
A form of register might certainly be prepared, with columns, headed
in an ascending and descending scale of praise and blame. The central
point or datum to be 0, meaning "silence," which must not, how-
ever, be construed into " consent." The praise table may rise from
the " Pretty well" of severe ignorance, to the " Beautiful" of enthu-
siastic bad-taste, represented by Sir Frederick Tbench. The
condemnation page, which should be very large, may run from the
" What a Guy ! " of critical cads, to the " Dreadful! " of Mb. Decimus
Burton, the outraged architect of the arch, with whom we condole
in the deepest sympathy. Some high authority must be appointed
to check the sub-committee in their registration.

We are afraid, however, that public opinion is to be slighted for that
of "the Government," "advised," Lord Morpeth assures us, "by
competent persons." If they disapprove, down comes the Duke, to be
set up in a less questionable position ; or melted, and the brass dis-
tributed to the sub-committee, with a double allowance to Sir Fre-
derick Tbench.

We hope that some information will be vouchsafed the public as to
the names of these " competent persons" who are to advise the
Government. Are they to be the same "competent persons" who
approved the designs for the National Gallery and the Trafalgar
Fountains ; who recommended the purchase of the Holywell Street
Holbein, and allowed Raphael's Alva Virgin to pass into the hrtnds of
the Empebob of Russia ? Are we again to be at the mercy of those
remarkably " competent persons " who settled the proportions of the
Nelson monument, and the costume of Mb. Wyatt's Geobge the
Thibd ? The "competent persons" who advise the Government in
matters of art, have succeeded so admirably in filling our streets with
public monuments of the most outrageous absurdity, that we confi-
dently anticipate their approval
of the Duke on the arch. How
can it be otherwise ? It has
always been. What new light
of art has burst upon the Woods
and Forests ?

The penny showman invariably
announces his perfect readiness
to return the price of admission
" if you are not satisfied with the
character of the exhibition." In
a like liberal spirit, the sub-
committee promise that if the
statue be not approved, they will

Sib Fbederick may perhaps venture to defy his baton. Now, while
the Duke continues on the arch, Ptmch will have an unusually " good
cry." We shall not be surprised to find it echoing even to Downing-
street, and startling the " competent persons " not out of, but into
propriety. We agree with Sib Frederick that the statue, when up,
will be one of the most striking "objects " ever exhibited ; indeed, we
should almost go so far as to say, one of the most " dreadful objects "
that the imagination can conceive. Meanwhile the scaffolding is to
remain, that the Duke may have a staircase to descend by if he do not
give satisfaction. For three weeks Field-Marshal the Duke or
Wellington is to be allowed " to enjoy " the testimony of a grateful
country from his bed-room windows : that novel gratification promised
to his Grace by the sub-com-

mittee. If he show a relish for
this luxury, it will be hard to
stop his allowance at the end
of that time ; if, on the con-
trary, we find it too strong for
him, is his opinion to weigh

There is one comfort in the
prospect of this three weeks'
elevation. The absurd dispro-
portion which poor Mr. Bubton
strives so desperately to display
in figures, will strike all eyes
in bronze. The ill-fated sup-
port, too small by half for an
arch of triumph, too big by half

for a pedestal, will command that public sympathy which mere drawings
could never create, nor the sufferings of the architect engender. We
should not wonder if even Sib Frederick were, at this sight, inspired
by good taste, as suddenly as Orson is endowed with reason in the
popular melo-drama.

THE SNOBS OF ENGLAND.

BY ONE OF THEMSELVES.

CHAPTER XXVI.—D1N1NG-0UT SNOBS.

SECOND WEEK.

"replace the whole affair in the same circumstances as at present
viz , remove the statue from the arch, and place it on the ground
again." We are afraid this promise will be kept like that of the
penny showman. We never remember to have heard of money
returned for the sight of an unsatisfactory giant. As little can we
anticipate that the Duke will ever be compelled to come dowu if he
is once allowed to get up,

" Sedet, in aeternumque sedebit
Iufelix--"

a butt, to all time, for the ridicule of Punch, and a source of bitter
remorse to Sir Frederick Trench.

We are afraid that that warm-hearted and hot-headed gentleman rates
the influence of Pimch on an erroneous principle. That influence
depends very much, we apprehend, on the same causes as the stability
of a government. Among them a " good cry " is well known to be
important. So, if Punch gets a " good cry " lie is formidable : if not,

n England Dinner-giving Snobs occupy a verj
important place in society, and the task of
describing them is tremendous. There was a
time in my life when the consciousness of
having eaten a man's salt rendered me dumb
regarding his demerits, and I thought it a
wicked act and a breach of hospitality to
speak ill cf him.

But why should a saddle of mutton blind
you, or a turbot and lobster sauce shut your
mouth for ever ? With advancing age, men
see their duties more clearly. I am not to be
hoodwinked any longer by a slice of venison,
be it ever so fat , and as for being dumb on
account of turbot and lobster-sauce—of course
I am ; good manners ordain that I should be
so, until I have swallowed the compound—but
not afterwards : directly the victuals are
discussed, and John takes away the plate, my
tongue begins to wag. Does not yours, if you
have a pleasant neighbour ?—a lovely crea-
ture, say, of some five-and-thirty, whose
daughters have not yet quite come out—they
are the best talkers. As for your young
misses, they are only put about the table to
look at— like the flowers in the centre-piece. Their blushing
youth and natural modesty prevents them from that easy, confi-
dential conversational abandon which forms the delig'j, of the inter-
course with their dear mothers. It is to these, if he would prosper in
his profession, that the Dining-out Snob should address himselL
Suppose you sit next to one of these, how pleasant it is, in the
intervals of the banquet, actually to abuse the victuals and the giver
of the entertainment ! It's twice as piquant to make fun of a man
under his very nose.

What is a dinner-giving Snob ? some innocent youth, who is not
repandu in the world, may ask—or some simple reader who has no*
the benefits of London experience.

My dear Sir, I will show you—not all, for that is impossible—but