Punch (12.1847)

106 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE CLOCK EPIDExMlC.

0 Prince ! come succour at our need,

This body politic;
Heal up our wound?, which gape and bleed ;
There has been for some two or three years gradually but surely Prevent us running quite to seed,

developing itself, a frightful epidemic among some of the public clocks j (Cries Reverend Mr. Crick.)'

in London. Whether it has extended to the watches we don't know;
but it wiJl be remembered, that at the time of the potato disease last
year, it was darkly hinted that there was something very wrong about
the turnips. The clock disease is, however, a fact which is only too
palpable; and we are able to bring to mind several very bad clock
cases.

The first that attrac'ed any considerable notice, was that of St.
Clement's, which, our readers will remember, was seized with paralysis in
the hands, which lasted for a very considerable period. The next public
clock that became very bad, was that at Hyde Park Corner, which,
after having " a h'ght in its laughing eye " very punctually, for a long
period, was suddenly obscured, and exhibited all the incipient signs of
total blindness.

We, however, always expect something wrong with these clocks that
are up all night ; and we aie never surprised, therefore, when we find
them going wrong ; which nrust be the consequence of a clock's keeping
irregular hours. The Hyde Park Corner korloge has had one or two
opportunities of becoming respectable, but it has soon gone back again

to its old and irregular pastime. We fear, moreover, that this unhappy j ^ At\ • d?n 1 ^ *nSer kick,

dial has set a bad example to its neighbour at the Hyde Park turnpike,! £reat Prince ! the suppliants at your foot,

for the latter, once a well-conducted clock, has lately worn a most dis- ] Sefnh?w °urfhPs cling fondly to t

sipated aspect. Its face has displayed a large crack over its Roman L, ^nes tliat true amon> <^kick.)

and the remains of a broken glass have a look that is far from re- From faction's sacrilegious claws

spectable. _ _ I Keep Church and Bishopric ;

It is, however, with sincere regret that we have heard of the indis- Support our academic cause ;

position of the clerical clock of St. James's, Westminster. This Uphold our rights ■ defend our laws,

unhappy Recorder—of time—for the parish alluded to, has lost the use (Ejaculated Crick.)

of its tongue, for it has not been beard to utter a sound for a very Jong rpbe gpgg^ was done. He made a pause

period. The poor thing counted eight very incoherently about a -p0"r Albert and for Vic •

week ago, at a quarter to nine, but it has been completely dumb from Three most vociferous huzzaws

that time to the present. It has not, we believe, lost the use of its Then broke from mighty Whewell's jaws,

hands, nor is there anything the matter internally with the c'ock, but j Who as a proof of his applause,

it has become suddenly deprived of the power of repeating its |

On thee our hopes and faith we pin ;
Without thee, ruined slick ;

To thee we kneel with humble shin;

Stand by us, guide us, hem us in,
Great Prince ! (cries Mr. Crick.)

Thou bright exemplar of all Prin-
ces, here your shoes we lick ;

Kings first endowed us with their tin,

Why mayn't we hope for kings agin ?
(Says independent Crick.)

Oar tree is of an ancient root,
And straightway perpendic-
ular to heaven its boughs will shoot,
If you but listen to our suit,

(Says Reverend Mr. Crick.)
We grovel at your royal boot ;

customary warnings to the surrounding neighbourhood.

THE CAMBRIDGE ADDRESS TO PRINCE ALBERT.

We have received a version of the above document, freely rendered
into English by a gentleman of the name of Gvr, of Trinity College,
Cambridge.

Stern fate hath clipped, with cruel shear,

In spite of all physick,
A worthy duke, a noble peer,
To virtue and to Cambridge dear,

(Says Reverend Mr. Crick.)
He ruled us but for seven short year,

His death was all too quick ;
We howl, and drop the briny tear
Upon his lamentable bier,

(Says Reverend Mr. Crick.)

About his venerated dust,

Our tear-drops tumble thick ;
He was our champion kind and just,
In him was all our hope and trust,

(Says Reverend Mr. Crick )
But weep and blubber though we must,

Tor this of dukes the pick,
We must not cry until we bust —
Such conduct would inspire disgust,

(Says Reverend Mr. Crick.)

My Granta ! wipe your weeping face,

And be philosophick ;
Look round and see can we replace
In any way his poor dear Grace,

(Says Reverend Mr. Crick.)
Who is the man to meet our case ?

Who enters in the nick,
To take Northumbria's vacant mace ?
There is a gent of royal race,

(Says Reverend Mr. Crick.)

There is a gent of royal breed,

There is a princely brick,
Who doth on every virtue feed,
As wise in thought as great in deed ;

To him we"ll fly, (says Crick.)

Straight to the buttery goes and draws
A pint of ale for Crick.

Boo Pf

Crick y* Pcblick Orator spowts before t* Prince's Highnessx.

THE MARCH OF INTELLECT,

In Thursday's Times was advertised " A Child's Caul to be Sold.
Price five guineas." We hear that it has since been purchased by Srs
Benjamin Hawes, for self-preservation in his frequent journeys over
Westminster Bridge.