Punch (13.1847)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

63

ASYLUMS FOR DECAYED MONARCHS.

&n iSlcctton Hgrtc.

THE TRIUMPH OF PROTECTION

(after ben jonsox.)

Guardian, or Porter
to the royal esta-
blishment ; for al-
though he has not
been exactly a king,
i et he has proved
himself a first-rate
waiter upon royalty,
having lived almost
ail his life upon the
steps of a throne.
A corner might

re found also for Queen Christina, who is at present without a
Royal home, only the difficulty would be to find a place large
enough, and to ventilate it properly, if she and Isabella lived toge-
ther; for the same temperature would never do for the explosive
mother and daughter, and two kings so remarkably cool as Leopold
and Nicholas. We believe a Committee is in treaty for the purchase
of the " Royal Property," as the best spot for the Alms-houses. If so,
the Exhibition of Yauxhall will be more followed than ever. Where
is the Englishman who would begrudge half-a-crown to see " Two Live
Kings!"

So many of the kings
are about to re-
sign, that we pro-
pose a series of
Alms-houses for
Old Sovereigns"
should be erected
for their accommo-
dation in their de-
clining years. There
might be the Rus-
sian Ward for the
Emperor Nicho-
las ; the Spanish
Ward for Queen
Isabella ; and the
Belgic Ward for

ni™1'0™Have >'ou markcd a Parish " Bumble,"

l ie Conde dei, Or anything equally humble?

Mo> TEMoLrNmightt Have you analysed London fog, or

be appointed Royal ^ Thg mud of an ^ bo?> QJ.

Whatever still denser may be ?—
Oh so dull, oh so proud, oh so dense is she!

See the chariot, at hand here, of brass,

Wherein Protection rideth;
Each that draws is an ox or an ass,

And the car Lord George he guidetb.
The County members bow subjection
To Protection,
And do wish, if but Might,
As of old, would make Right
Into Power, at her side.
Over figures and facts, law and reason, to ride.

Have you marked a dull boy in the throe

Of a sum in compound addition ?
Or six raw recruits in a row
At drill with the awkward division ?

£B

RAILWAY CLERKS.

One of these functionaries has written to protest against our having
charged them with laziness in a recent article, and he gives us pretty
strong proof that a Railway Clerk must of necessity " look alive." He
furnishes us with a long and tedious correspondence, commenced by an
old lady, who, expecting to arrive at Hull from the Continent with her
cat, writes to a clerk in the railway office, intimating to him her situa-
tion, and requesting him to "think it over" and " let her know." She
requires to be informed whether her cat must go among 1 lie cattle, or
can be accommodated with a seat in the carriage with herself. She
also begs, that if the railway company, wliose clerk she is addressing,
will not accede to her wishes, she may be informed of some other rail-
way that will, if there happens to be any other railway going the same
road.

We hear from our Correspondent that he has at least twenty such
letters every day, if not to answer, at least to read; and he justly asks us
whether we were not a little too hard in attributing idleness to a Railway
Clerk. With that graceful sense of fairness that has characterised us
from our cradle, we admit that " perhaps we were."

Literary Intelligence.

We perceive that a Mr. Luke Burke (no relation to the Sublime
and Beautiful, we believe) has been lecturing on the science of Human
Races. He touched, no doubt, upon the race in which the Regent
Street Stag raced the Bermondsey Buffalo for a baked potato and
" trimmings;" nor did he forget that remarkable race which was run in
sacks by the Eel-pie Islander and the Dulwich Dromedary.

a sober reflection.

The reason wine and spirits are not sold at the Surrey Zoological
Gardens is, because Mr. Tyler is afraid that the visitors might make
beasts of themselves.

PEEL'S IMPROVED HAND.

The efficacy of the plan of binding the hand for the purpose oi
effecting improvement in penmanship has lately been tested in reference
to politics, and the result has been everything that could be desired.
It is notorious that. Sir Robert Peel had long been afflicted with a
cramped and crooked style of writing, which considerably interfered
with the breadth and boldness which ought to have characterised the
method of one from whom so many were m the habit of taking their
copy. A master of the name of Cobden at length undertook to give
Peel a few lessons, and began by tying up the hands of the latter with
a good strong band, under the name of the Anti-Corn-Law League

Peel at first cried out against the pressure, but finding it hopeless to*
resist it, he resigned his hand entirely to Cobden's guidance.

A very few lessons made an alteration in the style of the pupil,
though there was an awkwardness and stiffness in the sudden change of.
character which ensued. Those who remember the Peel caligraphy, or
rather his kakography, of 1840, must have heen very much astonished
at the change it underwent in the winter of 1845. At the first of these,
epochs the style was small, cramped, and insignificant, evincing a sort
of shpperiness, arising from his hand being guided by a sliding scale.
After Cobden's lessons, the style became bold, open, and intelligible,,
when it was at length found practicable _ to' remove the bandage by
which the movements of Peel were restricted, and he now writes a
Free Trade hand as naturally _ as if he had. been Drought up in the
Cobden School from the first, instead of having entered as a pupd at a
late period of life.

the legal harvest.

The greater part of the legal harvest is now safely housed. Most of
the reaping has been done, not with the scythe, but that much sharper
instrument, a bill. The cold water that has fallen from the roofs of the'
County Courts has done considerable damage. The crops have been
very scanty, and there has been a great mixture of mere chaff.