DOI issue:
July to December, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16545#0143
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
131
THE FRIENDS RECONCILED.
The second column of the Times contains more of the true materials
of romance than any other depository we are acquainted with. Some-
times the incidents are of a painful character; but within the last
fortnight we have seen a series of two or three advertisements, in which
the "coolness," the "offence," and the "reconciliation," have been
most touchingly dwelt upon. The cause of the coolness is still shrouded
in mystery, but the offence originated in the omission of a bow of
recognition when crossing the Hyde Park Carriage Drive at Cum-
berland Gate. Subsequently a reconciliation was brought about through
the second column of the Times, and a meeting of the two friends
proposed, which one of our artists has humbly attempted to com-
memorate. We have no doubt that the song of
" And does not a meeting like this make amends ? "
was sung in the middle of the streets by the two enthusiasts ; for thev
who would not hesitate to make the world a party to their "coolness,"
and their " reconciliation," would not be particular about letting the
passengers round them participate in the joy of their re-union.
COLLEGE FOR GOVERNESSES.
It is proposed, as we learn from the newspapers, to found an establish -
ment of this kind, in connection with the Governesses' Benevolent
Institution. We have, however, seen no prospectus of the course of
instruction to be followed, the examinations to be undergone, or the
degrees to be conferred. Any school for the Education of Governesses
ought to have a special regard to the duties this class of females has
to discharge, and the discipline of mind required by their position.
Keeping this m view, we beg_ to furnish the following hints to the
founders of this useful place of instruction :—■
In the first place, the pupils admitted must be ladies, both in habits,
appearance, manners, and, if possible, birth. This is indispensable.
Those who are to have the training of young ladies must belong to the
order themselves. They must be sweet-tempered. This is necessary,
as their dispositions are likely to have a good deal of souring; and we
all know the sweetest wine makes the best vinegar. Their constitu-
tions ought to be strong. It is probable they will lead a close and
sedentary life, and the wear and tear of the school-room is no joke.
Above all, they must be cheerful. Elasticity is highly necessary in
everybody required to support heavy weights. They must be humble,
as in that case they will be spared many disappointments; and respectful
themselves, as they must not consider they have a claim for respect on
any person in the establishment they belong to. They must be able to
win the affections of the children intrusted to them, but must beware
of indulging affections on their own account.
Thus much for the young persons themselves. Now let us see how
the modern languages of course, the elements of the natural sciences,
Zoology, Botany, Mineralogy, Conchology, Geology, Astronomy, with a
thorough command of the Globes (to which mothers attach an apparently
superstitious importance), Geography, with maps (which is a thing con-
stantly asked for, there appearing to be in use a mysterious kind of geo-
graphy without them)—the accomplishments, of course, including Sing-
ing in the Italian manner, and counterpoint, with all varieties of Drawing
and Painting, as well as Modelling, if required. Gymnastics would be
desirable, and the Indian Exercises. Above all, however, the Multi-
plication Table must not be overlooked.
This is the intellectual part of the course, and perhaps the least
important. The great object should be the moral training of the
Governess. For this we would recommend the employment of a care-
fully selected staff of Professoresses, after this fashion.
Class of Cheerfulness.
Prdeessoress Lady Knaggs, a person of singularly aggravating
disposition, who will dail^ use every means of trying the temper of the
young persons, until their spirits are thoroughly broken, and subject
them to every variety of petty annoyances. The least appearance of
depression to be punished by low diet and extra ill-temper from a sub-
tutoress, chosen from the most cantankerous old maids that may be
known to the College authorities. The young persons, while hi this
class, should have each of them half-a-dozen very boisterous children to
1 ake charge of for eight hours every day.
Class of Self-respect.
In this class the discipline of the Humility Class may be carried farther.
Instead of the servants, a staff of fashionable young men should be
employed to make dishonourable proposals, and offer insulting attentions
to the young persons, who will thus be practised in the art of respecting
themselves under difficulties, which they will often have to put in
practice in their situations.
By pursuing a course of training similar to that sketched above, we
may hope to satisfy employers, while we remove the many querulous
representations now made of the hardships of Governesses, by supplying
a corps of young persons thoroughly broken in to the worst they can
possibly expect to encounter in after-life.
Class of Humility.
Professoress the Hon. Mrs. Hvrdlinxs, a lady of sixteen quarter-
ings, who will for an hour per diem talk at the Governess Class,
alluding to any accident of humble birth or reduced fortunes that can
be taken hold of, always speaking of_each of them as "that young
person," and snubbing them on the slightest provocation. The Hon.
Mrs. Hardlines should have at her command a regular staff of
servants, including a very pert lady's maid, who will at intervals pass
down the class, turning up her nose at the young persons, and saying
the most offensive things in a half-whisper, with a running accompani-
ment of "Well,I'm sures," and "Set'emups," and "Meancreatures,"
and similar humiliating phrases, at which every young lady expressing
their natural qualities are to be most effectually cultivated by the col- the least annoyance will be turned down for a week, and jmt under the
legiate course of instruction. discipline of the lower servants, who will repeat similar things in
Imprimis, this instruction must obviously be universal. A Governess,
to judge from the advertisements, is expected to know everything. The
course should at least embrace Hebrew (with the points), Greek, Latin,
coarser ways.
While in this class the young persons will be lodged in small rooms,
and dine exclusively on luke-warm legs of mutton, and the smallest beer
131
THE FRIENDS RECONCILED.
The second column of the Times contains more of the true materials
of romance than any other depository we are acquainted with. Some-
times the incidents are of a painful character; but within the last
fortnight we have seen a series of two or three advertisements, in which
the "coolness," the "offence," and the "reconciliation," have been
most touchingly dwelt upon. The cause of the coolness is still shrouded
in mystery, but the offence originated in the omission of a bow of
recognition when crossing the Hyde Park Carriage Drive at Cum-
berland Gate. Subsequently a reconciliation was brought about through
the second column of the Times, and a meeting of the two friends
proposed, which one of our artists has humbly attempted to com-
memorate. We have no doubt that the song of
" And does not a meeting like this make amends ? "
was sung in the middle of the streets by the two enthusiasts ; for thev
who would not hesitate to make the world a party to their "coolness,"
and their " reconciliation," would not be particular about letting the
passengers round them participate in the joy of their re-union.
COLLEGE FOR GOVERNESSES.
It is proposed, as we learn from the newspapers, to found an establish -
ment of this kind, in connection with the Governesses' Benevolent
Institution. We have, however, seen no prospectus of the course of
instruction to be followed, the examinations to be undergone, or the
degrees to be conferred. Any school for the Education of Governesses
ought to have a special regard to the duties this class of females has
to discharge, and the discipline of mind required by their position.
Keeping this m view, we beg_ to furnish the following hints to the
founders of this useful place of instruction :—■
In the first place, the pupils admitted must be ladies, both in habits,
appearance, manners, and, if possible, birth. This is indispensable.
Those who are to have the training of young ladies must belong to the
order themselves. They must be sweet-tempered. This is necessary,
as their dispositions are likely to have a good deal of souring; and we
all know the sweetest wine makes the best vinegar. Their constitu-
tions ought to be strong. It is probable they will lead a close and
sedentary life, and the wear and tear of the school-room is no joke.
Above all, they must be cheerful. Elasticity is highly necessary in
everybody required to support heavy weights. They must be humble,
as in that case they will be spared many disappointments; and respectful
themselves, as they must not consider they have a claim for respect on
any person in the establishment they belong to. They must be able to
win the affections of the children intrusted to them, but must beware
of indulging affections on their own account.
Thus much for the young persons themselves. Now let us see how
the modern languages of course, the elements of the natural sciences,
Zoology, Botany, Mineralogy, Conchology, Geology, Astronomy, with a
thorough command of the Globes (to which mothers attach an apparently
superstitious importance), Geography, with maps (which is a thing con-
stantly asked for, there appearing to be in use a mysterious kind of geo-
graphy without them)—the accomplishments, of course, including Sing-
ing in the Italian manner, and counterpoint, with all varieties of Drawing
and Painting, as well as Modelling, if required. Gymnastics would be
desirable, and the Indian Exercises. Above all, however, the Multi-
plication Table must not be overlooked.
This is the intellectual part of the course, and perhaps the least
important. The great object should be the moral training of the
Governess. For this we would recommend the employment of a care-
fully selected staff of Professoresses, after this fashion.
Class of Cheerfulness.
Prdeessoress Lady Knaggs, a person of singularly aggravating
disposition, who will dail^ use every means of trying the temper of the
young persons, until their spirits are thoroughly broken, and subject
them to every variety of petty annoyances. The least appearance of
depression to be punished by low diet and extra ill-temper from a sub-
tutoress, chosen from the most cantankerous old maids that may be
known to the College authorities. The young persons, while hi this
class, should have each of them half-a-dozen very boisterous children to
1 ake charge of for eight hours every day.
Class of Self-respect.
In this class the discipline of the Humility Class may be carried farther.
Instead of the servants, a staff of fashionable young men should be
employed to make dishonourable proposals, and offer insulting attentions
to the young persons, who will thus be practised in the art of respecting
themselves under difficulties, which they will often have to put in
practice in their situations.
By pursuing a course of training similar to that sketched above, we
may hope to satisfy employers, while we remove the many querulous
representations now made of the hardships of Governesses, by supplying
a corps of young persons thoroughly broken in to the worst they can
possibly expect to encounter in after-life.
Class of Humility.
Professoress the Hon. Mrs. Hvrdlinxs, a lady of sixteen quarter-
ings, who will for an hour per diem talk at the Governess Class,
alluding to any accident of humble birth or reduced fortunes that can
be taken hold of, always speaking of_each of them as "that young
person," and snubbing them on the slightest provocation. The Hon.
Mrs. Hardlines should have at her command a regular staff of
servants, including a very pert lady's maid, who will at intervals pass
down the class, turning up her nose at the young persons, and saying
the most offensive things in a half-whisper, with a running accompani-
ment of "Well,I'm sures," and "Set'emups," and "Meancreatures,"
and similar humiliating phrases, at which every young lady expressing
their natural qualities are to be most effectually cultivated by the col- the least annoyance will be turned down for a week, and jmt under the
legiate course of instruction. discipline of the lower servants, who will repeat similar things in
Imprimis, this instruction must obviously be universal. A Governess,
to judge from the advertisements, is expected to know everything. The
course should at least embrace Hebrew (with the points), Greek, Latin,
coarser ways.
While in this class the young persons will be lodged in small rooms,
and dine exclusively on luke-warm legs of mutton, and the smallest beer