DOI issue:
July to December, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16545#0212
200
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
DOMESTIC BLISS.
CIVIC STATISTICS.
An ingenious contemporary Las furnished some
curious data relative to the number of dishes
cooked, and the persons employed in cooking
and serving them up at the Lord Mayor's
Dinner. It appears that 8000 plates were in
requisition; and supposing each plate to have
had the usual complement of knives and forks,
there must have been 40,000 silver prongs,
taking 5 prongs to each fork, put into re-
quisition, as well as 8000 sharp blades, and
—exclusive of the guests themselves—not less
than 16,000 spoons. Presuming each plate to
contain twenty mouthfuls, we get the alarm-
ing aggregate of 160,000 mouthfuls at the dinner
of the Lord Mayor ; and supposing each
mouthful to require the application of the dental
powers three times, we obtain the truly terrific
result of nearly half-a-million movements of the
jaws. This calculation, however, leaves alto-
gether out of the question the vast amount of
maxillary motion required for the speech-making,
conversation, and hip, hip, hurra-ing of the
festive night. An arithmetician has been en-
gaged to get at the prodigious total, but the
result has been so horrible that we do not feel
ourselves justilied in making it known.
the last appeal.
We beg our correspondents will send us no
more jokes upon Statues, such as "Statu quo"
" The Statue of Limitations," and the like enor-
mities, which every leader of every newspaper
now commits. Though we are Editors, we have
feelings as well as other men. We make the
above request as a favour, and we are sure every
Domestic (soliloquishg). " Wfll ! I'm burr Misses n«o bf.tter give this new bonnft to me. reader of Punch is too much of a gentleman to
instead of sticking such a young-i.ooking thing uroN bkr old shoulders." {1 he impndent minx refuse it. The matter is now over, and we
has immediate waiving.) promise not to say another word about it.
THE POPULAR IMPRESSION.
We have discovered at last the true reasons for the interference of
the Government in the money crisis. The subjoined letter, addressed
to Lord John Russeli,, completely proved its point, and was as
convincing to the Premier, as it will be to all who thoroughly under-
stand it :—
" My Lord, Land's End, October 20.
" There is nothing more distressing in the present painful
state of the commercial world, than the needless confusion in the state-
ments of those who endeavour to unravel the cause of the money
pressure. I beg to submit the following as the true cause of our
disorders, and the only safe remedies we may apply to them. It will
be remembered that monetary affairs were affected by the discount on
premium, when consolidated promissory notes were at par. This
naturally reacted upon the exchange of dishonoured specie, causing a
run for debentures, and even making bullion negotiable. Now what
followed ? Why, of course Exchequer biiiS were dishonoured by being
put in the Stocks, and Scrip became no longer a provisional assignee.
To remedy all this, we have but to let the currency be confined to
monetary annuities, the deposit being at the minimum rate of assets,
thus stimulating the mortgage of interest by giving a fair remuneration
to the manufacturer, and lowering the price of bread.
" I am, my Lord,
" Your obedient and humble servant,
"A. Noodle."
A Rare Goose.
We have always tnought it impossible that a stranger bird than the
owl could be conceived as the representative of Wisdom. But we
were mistaken. " People," says " Anti-Beccaria" writing, otherwise
sensibly enough, m the Morning Post, " want practicality, they tell us ;
but a fig for your intellectuality; that is to say, to use a homely illus-
tration, they want the golden eggs, but not the goose that lays them."
Intellectuality a goose! Are "Anti-Beccaria's" lucubrations
the golden eggs of the Post, and is his intellectuality the goose that
lays them ?
EMANCIPATION FOR THE OMNIBUS HORSE!
Every one knows—or ought to know—that in the present state of
the Assault Market men may be knocked down at prices varying from
five pounds downwards: and it is a truth which deserves to be so
widely diffused, that cruelty to omnibus horses maybe "done" at an
equally moderate figure, the principal difference being, that in the latter
case payment is required in advance, and that a reduction is made in
proport ion 1 o the amount of brutality stipulated for. All men are said
to be equal in the eye of 1 be law, though all men that we have met
with are exactly the reverse. Be this as it may, it is an indisputable
fact that the legal eye, by an z^pleasant fiction, looks upon all omnibus
horses as equal—to any amount of labour that may be imposed on
them, provided always a proportionate tax is paid, as fixed by Act of
Parliament.
Imagine two " noble animals," as Mayor says, drawing an om-
nibus with thirteen passengers, and thirteen passengers' umbrellas,
carpet-bags, and band-boxes in the interior alone : and we could produce
a good deal of pathos out of such materials without going outside :—
well, imagine such a burden, and it would seem that the force of om-
nibus horses could no further go. All a mistake. An increase in the
sum paid for the license effects (let us hope so at least) a corresponding
one in the powers of the cattle ; for on payment of " something extra"
to the Government, fifteen, eighteen—in fact, an indefinite number of
passengers—are stowed in and on the vehicle with total impunity, and
without compunction.
We have actually gone so far as to remonstrate with the drivers on
their inhuman conduct; but they have no pity for the poor beasts, and
uniformly replied that, "It served them right." However, the omnibus
horse must be emancipated. Their masters are a hard-hearted race,
and although in many cases the equine labourers are doubtless worthy
of their hire, there must be some limit to cruelty; or, in other words, to
the number of passengers conveyed. At present, there is only one con-
solation for the poor horses—that when they are overloaded, their
masters are invariably the losers.
Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, Tort Place, Sto^e Newinjrton, and Frederick Mullett Evans,
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoko New niton, both in the Coanty of Middlesex, Printers, at their
Office, in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whlterriars, in the City of London, and published
by them, at No. 85, Fleet Street, m the Parish of Sc. Bride, in the City of London.— Satubdat,
N uv km bkr 2uth ,1347.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
DOMESTIC BLISS.
CIVIC STATISTICS.
An ingenious contemporary Las furnished some
curious data relative to the number of dishes
cooked, and the persons employed in cooking
and serving them up at the Lord Mayor's
Dinner. It appears that 8000 plates were in
requisition; and supposing each plate to have
had the usual complement of knives and forks,
there must have been 40,000 silver prongs,
taking 5 prongs to each fork, put into re-
quisition, as well as 8000 sharp blades, and
—exclusive of the guests themselves—not less
than 16,000 spoons. Presuming each plate to
contain twenty mouthfuls, we get the alarm-
ing aggregate of 160,000 mouthfuls at the dinner
of the Lord Mayor ; and supposing each
mouthful to require the application of the dental
powers three times, we obtain the truly terrific
result of nearly half-a-million movements of the
jaws. This calculation, however, leaves alto-
gether out of the question the vast amount of
maxillary motion required for the speech-making,
conversation, and hip, hip, hurra-ing of the
festive night. An arithmetician has been en-
gaged to get at the prodigious total, but the
result has been so horrible that we do not feel
ourselves justilied in making it known.
the last appeal.
We beg our correspondents will send us no
more jokes upon Statues, such as "Statu quo"
" The Statue of Limitations," and the like enor-
mities, which every leader of every newspaper
now commits. Though we are Editors, we have
feelings as well as other men. We make the
above request as a favour, and we are sure every
Domestic (soliloquishg). " Wfll ! I'm burr Misses n«o bf.tter give this new bonnft to me. reader of Punch is too much of a gentleman to
instead of sticking such a young-i.ooking thing uroN bkr old shoulders." {1 he impndent minx refuse it. The matter is now over, and we
has immediate waiving.) promise not to say another word about it.
THE POPULAR IMPRESSION.
We have discovered at last the true reasons for the interference of
the Government in the money crisis. The subjoined letter, addressed
to Lord John Russeli,, completely proved its point, and was as
convincing to the Premier, as it will be to all who thoroughly under-
stand it :—
" My Lord, Land's End, October 20.
" There is nothing more distressing in the present painful
state of the commercial world, than the needless confusion in the state-
ments of those who endeavour to unravel the cause of the money
pressure. I beg to submit the following as the true cause of our
disorders, and the only safe remedies we may apply to them. It will
be remembered that monetary affairs were affected by the discount on
premium, when consolidated promissory notes were at par. This
naturally reacted upon the exchange of dishonoured specie, causing a
run for debentures, and even making bullion negotiable. Now what
followed ? Why, of course Exchequer biiiS were dishonoured by being
put in the Stocks, and Scrip became no longer a provisional assignee.
To remedy all this, we have but to let the currency be confined to
monetary annuities, the deposit being at the minimum rate of assets,
thus stimulating the mortgage of interest by giving a fair remuneration
to the manufacturer, and lowering the price of bread.
" I am, my Lord,
" Your obedient and humble servant,
"A. Noodle."
A Rare Goose.
We have always tnought it impossible that a stranger bird than the
owl could be conceived as the representative of Wisdom. But we
were mistaken. " People," says " Anti-Beccaria" writing, otherwise
sensibly enough, m the Morning Post, " want practicality, they tell us ;
but a fig for your intellectuality; that is to say, to use a homely illus-
tration, they want the golden eggs, but not the goose that lays them."
Intellectuality a goose! Are "Anti-Beccaria's" lucubrations
the golden eggs of the Post, and is his intellectuality the goose that
lays them ?
EMANCIPATION FOR THE OMNIBUS HORSE!
Every one knows—or ought to know—that in the present state of
the Assault Market men may be knocked down at prices varying from
five pounds downwards: and it is a truth which deserves to be so
widely diffused, that cruelty to omnibus horses maybe "done" at an
equally moderate figure, the principal difference being, that in the latter
case payment is required in advance, and that a reduction is made in
proport ion 1 o the amount of brutality stipulated for. All men are said
to be equal in the eye of 1 be law, though all men that we have met
with are exactly the reverse. Be this as it may, it is an indisputable
fact that the legal eye, by an z^pleasant fiction, looks upon all omnibus
horses as equal—to any amount of labour that may be imposed on
them, provided always a proportionate tax is paid, as fixed by Act of
Parliament.
Imagine two " noble animals," as Mayor says, drawing an om-
nibus with thirteen passengers, and thirteen passengers' umbrellas,
carpet-bags, and band-boxes in the interior alone : and we could produce
a good deal of pathos out of such materials without going outside :—
well, imagine such a burden, and it would seem that the force of om-
nibus horses could no further go. All a mistake. An increase in the
sum paid for the license effects (let us hope so at least) a corresponding
one in the powers of the cattle ; for on payment of " something extra"
to the Government, fifteen, eighteen—in fact, an indefinite number of
passengers—are stowed in and on the vehicle with total impunity, and
without compunction.
We have actually gone so far as to remonstrate with the drivers on
their inhuman conduct; but they have no pity for the poor beasts, and
uniformly replied that, "It served them right." However, the omnibus
horse must be emancipated. Their masters are a hard-hearted race,
and although in many cases the equine labourers are doubtless worthy
of their hire, there must be some limit to cruelty; or, in other words, to
the number of passengers conveyed. At present, there is only one con-
solation for the poor horses—that when they are overloaded, their
masters are invariably the losers.
Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 6, Tort Place, Sto^e Newinjrton, and Frederick Mullett Evans,
of No. 7, Church Row, Stoko New niton, both in the Coanty of Middlesex, Printers, at their
Office, in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whlterriars, in the City of London, and published
by them, at No. 85, Fleet Street, m the Parish of Sc. Bride, in the City of London.— Satubdat,
N uv km bkr 2uth ,1347.