DOI issue:
July to December, 1847
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16545#0253
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
241
YOUNG ISRAEL IN PARLIAMENT.
—Mr. Deputy Cornet, in thai
tf/'.august assembly, the Common
//^Ti^sll Council, whereat—by a beau-
^Tj^tI^^' _ tiful civic fiction—the lig-
P»^j^^^r ^^^SIV^' neous powers of a Gog and
gp Magog are wont to attend,
* ^$d*lrl$ /4§i ^^llifcsL inspiring speakers, Mr.
<Ega*L (ftli^^ Deputy Corney has made a
>^S§ (l%&4 ffr S&J* ^JBiW- terrible hit at Young-Israel.
P^?m«lK.lP/ BP^^Hmu I* ig the too frequent evil of
■^^■^^^^3%^M^/ mW\\ our times that menspeak from
fe^^^'^.^^^^'jlMlll the emptiness of their know
1 ledge; just as drums sound
\ the loudest for having no-
thing in them. CoRNEYisnot
of these. Corney is full of
knowledge ; so full, that it
J runs out at his lips. He has
studied Jewish history. He
has worked up to his elbows
in Josephus ; and we doubt
not, if he suddenly found him-
** " self at Jerusalem, he might,
from his instinctive knowledge
of the ins and outs of the place, earn a very decent livelihood as guide
or ticket-porter. Well, Deputy Corney will not permit Jews to sit
in Parliament. Wherefore? Why—
" From the earliest periods of their his*orv, the Jews were known and acknowledged
to be a people possessing no consistent political feeling. [A Laugh.) They were not
admirers of the monarchical principle." {Laughter.)
They certainly were no great admirers of King Pharaoh; but, at
the present time, we think it is going a little too far back to take up
the quarrel of his Egyptian Majesty. This disregard of crowns and
royal jewels,—a well-known weakness or ignorance, call it which you
will, of the Jews—is as nothing to a vice of which Christian London,
with its Christian merchants, and bankers, and stockbrokers, know
so little: we allude to a love of money. Hear Corney—
" In fact, and there was no use in concealing that truth, money was the element in
which they delighted. They had an intuiiive fondness for and power of grasping that
element, and nothing could check or abate the appetite." (Increased lauphter.)
This is also true. Yes; we believe it to be a lamentable fact, that
the young Jew, having amassed his first five pounds, has an "intuitive
fondness" towards making the five ten, the ten twenty, the twenty
forty—and_ so on; a disgusting habit, of which Christian tradesmen
know nothing. Deputy Corney has moreover, accidentally, no doubt,
—as the greatest discoveries have heretofore been arrived at—thrown
■a brilliant light upon the darkness of the Currency Question. Now
we know the reason of the late scarcity of gold. Listen to Corney.
" Why, their love of money was so great, that when Jerusalem was besieged by
Titus, they swallowed quantities of gold, and the common soldiers were actually obliged
to rip up their bowels to come at the precious metal."
Here we have it. We rightly talk about a "drain of gold." The
very vulgar, we believe—for Punch is too genteel to offer himself as
an authority on the question—the very vulgar speak of " a drain of
gin." Now the Jew being a tremendous dram-drinker of the sort, is con-
tinually taking this drain of gold. Could we some weeks back have seen
the Rothschilds, and the Solomans, and the Levis, and the Slomans
in their hours of privacy, we should at once have known where the
gold went, inasmuch as we should have beheld the Hebrews "swallow-
ing quantities "—taking drain after drain from the Bank cellars, to the
consternation of Plutus, time out of mind the Bank butler. The
complexion of the Jew shows him to be a gold-drinker. He has a
Midas' skin—a golden cuticle. The metal shines through him,
colouring him outside; even as poultry fed on maize take the yellow-
ness of their daily food. We doubt not that, if, in the time of the
Panic, Rothschild had been taken—as he ought to have been—by the
strong arm of the law, and violently, yes very violently, shaken, his
inside would have jingled like a money-box. He would have rattled, a
very anatomy of shekels. And are we without a remedy in future?
Shall we, as a nation of money-despising Christians—shall we, as
Englishmen, who, above all people in the world, refuse to bend their
uonest, stubborn backs to those idols—£. s. d., set up in high places ;
shall we henceforth suffer the Jew to take his drain of gold to our
common injustice and nerplexityf Certainly not. Punch modestly
suggests a remedy
The ancient vice of " sweating " coin lies at the door of the Jews.
They have been known to throw millions of guineas into leathern bags,
and when there to violently agitate them, grinding the faces of monarchs
—as other folk's faces are elsewhere said to be "ground"—that they
may perspire drops of their precious composition. When the next
panic occurs, let every Jew be cast into a leathern sack, that the gold
in his stomach mav, by wholesome exercise, be made to exude through
his skin. When the Jew cannot be shaken in a bag, let him be well
tossed in a blanket.
There is, to be sure, a readier, a more wholesale way than this;
though we fear the squeamishness of modern sensibility will reject it.
Otherwise, we should propose the establishment of a huge national
crucible, where, upon the return of every panic, every suspected Jew
should be thrown in and melted, and the pure ore separated from the
carcase ; the dross—for, we hope, we would not violate the last feelings
of humanity—the dross to be returned, for decent burial, to the
melted Jew's relations. Let Sir Robert Inglis immediately bring in
a Bill for a Jew's Crucible; earning for himself the applause of all the
truly Christian world, with " three cheers more " from Exeter Hall in
particular. We are, however, neglecting Deputy Corney.
"They were, in truth, essentially a commercial peoule. They would sell their own
brothers." (Great laughter.)
Thus—according to Corney—the " essence " of commerce is to
knock down your own brother to the highest bidder. Cain, in his
heart was, no doubt, the first Jew.
"It was really a serious thing to contemplate a Jewish Legislature. And if one Jew
were to get into Parliament, he could not see why fifty should not follow."
_ This we take to be a truth really too deep for laughter. For let us con-
sider the habits of a great body of the Jews, with whom Punch, by the way,
is more intimately connected (need he say the Old Clothes Interest?).
Consider their opportunities of sapping a Christian constituency. How
many a man would be likely to sell his voice with his worn-out coat,
the Jew clothesman being, of course, provided with money by the
Rothschilds to pay for both in the lump. The Deputy continues:—
"Only think of fifty Jews in the House of Commons! Why, Lord John Russell
was prettily bothered to manage fifty of the Irish members ; what a condition would his
Lordship be in if fifty Jews were to be added to the fifty Irish ! "
It is with great deference that we hesitate an adverse opinion to such
a sage as Corney ; but in the matter of a Judaico-Hibernico Parlia-
ment, we think that Lord John would be greatly relieved by fifty Jews
being opposed to fifty Irish. They might haply react the well-known
historical tragedy of The Kilkenny Cats—John O'Connell, of course,
standing out from vulgar melee, and dying in dignity by himself.
A Jew is of no nation, says Deputy Corney ; or, rather, he is of all
nations; his body being a sort of harlequin-like anatomy, made up of
bits and patches from all corners of the earth.
" A Jew was as much a Pole, or a Russian, or an Asiatic, as an Englishman, and if that
people got into Parli<».rx,nt, they might, at the sound of a trumpet, scamper off to the
promised kingdom, and leave the Parliament to work for itself. (Laughter.) They
would sacrifice their seats, and everything but their money, upon hearing the divine
call."
There is much matter in this for serious contemplation. The effect
of Jews in Parliament upon our commerce is of minor importance;
though two Bills that Baron Rothschild has already prepared in his
pocket—the one to prohibit the importation of Westphalia hams, and
the other a check upon all individual enterprise—being no less than a
Bill to prevent any Christian from driving his pigs to the best market-
though, we say, these Bills are subversive of our prosperity and freedom,
they are as nothing to the likelihood of the Jews taking their usual
"drain" of gold at the sound of the "trumpet," and scampering off to
the promised kingdom.
To be sure, our soldiers—like the soldiers of Titus—might appre-
hend the runaways ; and whereas, in the olden time, the warriors, with
cold steel, ripped* up the Jewish bowels for the stolen goods, we, with
improved humanity, would displace the sword by the stomach-pump.
ROYAL EQUESTRIANISM.
The Court newsman told us, one dav last week, that on the previous
morning the Princess Royal and the Prince op Wales took exercise
in the grounds of Osborne House, by " walking and riding on their
ponies." Now their riding on their ponies was all natural and proper
enough; but their walking on their ponies is a piece of cleverness we
should not have given them credit for. We cannot imagine that a visit
to Astley's can have had such an effect on t he young scions of Royalty
as to have set them imitating those rapid acts of horsemanship in
which village maidens jump over silken scarfs from the backs of fleet
coursers, or equestrian Apollos leap through capacious hoops, held
aloft in the air by the venerable hand of the still florescent Widdi-
comb. We will not believe that such are the freaks shadowed forth
in the announcement that "the Princess Royal and the Prince of
Wales walked and rode on their ponies." That they are infant prodigies
in every honourable respect our loyalty commands us to believe; but
that they are qualified to be made " features " of in an Astley's bill, as
Les Petits Baleines (the Little Waleses), we pronounce to be a sup-
position at once absurd and incredible.
241
YOUNG ISRAEL IN PARLIAMENT.
—Mr. Deputy Cornet, in thai
tf/'.august assembly, the Common
//^Ti^sll Council, whereat—by a beau-
^Tj^tI^^' _ tiful civic fiction—the lig-
P»^j^^^r ^^^SIV^' neous powers of a Gog and
gp Magog are wont to attend,
* ^$d*lrl$ /4§i ^^llifcsL inspiring speakers, Mr.
<Ega*L (ftli^^ Deputy Corney has made a
>^S§ (l%&4 ffr S&J* ^JBiW- terrible hit at Young-Israel.
P^?m«lK.lP/ BP^^Hmu I* ig the too frequent evil of
■^^■^^^^3%^M^/ mW\\ our times that menspeak from
fe^^^'^.^^^^'jlMlll the emptiness of their know
1 ledge; just as drums sound
\ the loudest for having no-
thing in them. CoRNEYisnot
of these. Corney is full of
knowledge ; so full, that it
J runs out at his lips. He has
studied Jewish history. He
has worked up to his elbows
in Josephus ; and we doubt
not, if he suddenly found him-
** " self at Jerusalem, he might,
from his instinctive knowledge
of the ins and outs of the place, earn a very decent livelihood as guide
or ticket-porter. Well, Deputy Corney will not permit Jews to sit
in Parliament. Wherefore? Why—
" From the earliest periods of their his*orv, the Jews were known and acknowledged
to be a people possessing no consistent political feeling. [A Laugh.) They were not
admirers of the monarchical principle." {Laughter.)
They certainly were no great admirers of King Pharaoh; but, at
the present time, we think it is going a little too far back to take up
the quarrel of his Egyptian Majesty. This disregard of crowns and
royal jewels,—a well-known weakness or ignorance, call it which you
will, of the Jews—is as nothing to a vice of which Christian London,
with its Christian merchants, and bankers, and stockbrokers, know
so little: we allude to a love of money. Hear Corney—
" In fact, and there was no use in concealing that truth, money was the element in
which they delighted. They had an intuiiive fondness for and power of grasping that
element, and nothing could check or abate the appetite." (Increased lauphter.)
This is also true. Yes; we believe it to be a lamentable fact, that
the young Jew, having amassed his first five pounds, has an "intuitive
fondness" towards making the five ten, the ten twenty, the twenty
forty—and_ so on; a disgusting habit, of which Christian tradesmen
know nothing. Deputy Corney has moreover, accidentally, no doubt,
—as the greatest discoveries have heretofore been arrived at—thrown
■a brilliant light upon the darkness of the Currency Question. Now
we know the reason of the late scarcity of gold. Listen to Corney.
" Why, their love of money was so great, that when Jerusalem was besieged by
Titus, they swallowed quantities of gold, and the common soldiers were actually obliged
to rip up their bowels to come at the precious metal."
Here we have it. We rightly talk about a "drain of gold." The
very vulgar, we believe—for Punch is too genteel to offer himself as
an authority on the question—the very vulgar speak of " a drain of
gin." Now the Jew being a tremendous dram-drinker of the sort, is con-
tinually taking this drain of gold. Could we some weeks back have seen
the Rothschilds, and the Solomans, and the Levis, and the Slomans
in their hours of privacy, we should at once have known where the
gold went, inasmuch as we should have beheld the Hebrews "swallow-
ing quantities "—taking drain after drain from the Bank cellars, to the
consternation of Plutus, time out of mind the Bank butler. The
complexion of the Jew shows him to be a gold-drinker. He has a
Midas' skin—a golden cuticle. The metal shines through him,
colouring him outside; even as poultry fed on maize take the yellow-
ness of their daily food. We doubt not that, if, in the time of the
Panic, Rothschild had been taken—as he ought to have been—by the
strong arm of the law, and violently, yes very violently, shaken, his
inside would have jingled like a money-box. He would have rattled, a
very anatomy of shekels. And are we without a remedy in future?
Shall we, as a nation of money-despising Christians—shall we, as
Englishmen, who, above all people in the world, refuse to bend their
uonest, stubborn backs to those idols—£. s. d., set up in high places ;
shall we henceforth suffer the Jew to take his drain of gold to our
common injustice and nerplexityf Certainly not. Punch modestly
suggests a remedy
The ancient vice of " sweating " coin lies at the door of the Jews.
They have been known to throw millions of guineas into leathern bags,
and when there to violently agitate them, grinding the faces of monarchs
—as other folk's faces are elsewhere said to be "ground"—that they
may perspire drops of their precious composition. When the next
panic occurs, let every Jew be cast into a leathern sack, that the gold
in his stomach mav, by wholesome exercise, be made to exude through
his skin. When the Jew cannot be shaken in a bag, let him be well
tossed in a blanket.
There is, to be sure, a readier, a more wholesale way than this;
though we fear the squeamishness of modern sensibility will reject it.
Otherwise, we should propose the establishment of a huge national
crucible, where, upon the return of every panic, every suspected Jew
should be thrown in and melted, and the pure ore separated from the
carcase ; the dross—for, we hope, we would not violate the last feelings
of humanity—the dross to be returned, for decent burial, to the
melted Jew's relations. Let Sir Robert Inglis immediately bring in
a Bill for a Jew's Crucible; earning for himself the applause of all the
truly Christian world, with " three cheers more " from Exeter Hall in
particular. We are, however, neglecting Deputy Corney.
"They were, in truth, essentially a commercial peoule. They would sell their own
brothers." (Great laughter.)
Thus—according to Corney—the " essence " of commerce is to
knock down your own brother to the highest bidder. Cain, in his
heart was, no doubt, the first Jew.
"It was really a serious thing to contemplate a Jewish Legislature. And if one Jew
were to get into Parliament, he could not see why fifty should not follow."
_ This we take to be a truth really too deep for laughter. For let us con-
sider the habits of a great body of the Jews, with whom Punch, by the way,
is more intimately connected (need he say the Old Clothes Interest?).
Consider their opportunities of sapping a Christian constituency. How
many a man would be likely to sell his voice with his worn-out coat,
the Jew clothesman being, of course, provided with money by the
Rothschilds to pay for both in the lump. The Deputy continues:—
"Only think of fifty Jews in the House of Commons! Why, Lord John Russell
was prettily bothered to manage fifty of the Irish members ; what a condition would his
Lordship be in if fifty Jews were to be added to the fifty Irish ! "
It is with great deference that we hesitate an adverse opinion to such
a sage as Corney ; but in the matter of a Judaico-Hibernico Parlia-
ment, we think that Lord John would be greatly relieved by fifty Jews
being opposed to fifty Irish. They might haply react the well-known
historical tragedy of The Kilkenny Cats—John O'Connell, of course,
standing out from vulgar melee, and dying in dignity by himself.
A Jew is of no nation, says Deputy Corney ; or, rather, he is of all
nations; his body being a sort of harlequin-like anatomy, made up of
bits and patches from all corners of the earth.
" A Jew was as much a Pole, or a Russian, or an Asiatic, as an Englishman, and if that
people got into Parli<».rx,nt, they might, at the sound of a trumpet, scamper off to the
promised kingdom, and leave the Parliament to work for itself. (Laughter.) They
would sacrifice their seats, and everything but their money, upon hearing the divine
call."
There is much matter in this for serious contemplation. The effect
of Jews in Parliament upon our commerce is of minor importance;
though two Bills that Baron Rothschild has already prepared in his
pocket—the one to prohibit the importation of Westphalia hams, and
the other a check upon all individual enterprise—being no less than a
Bill to prevent any Christian from driving his pigs to the best market-
though, we say, these Bills are subversive of our prosperity and freedom,
they are as nothing to the likelihood of the Jews taking their usual
"drain" of gold at the sound of the "trumpet," and scampering off to
the promised kingdom.
To be sure, our soldiers—like the soldiers of Titus—might appre-
hend the runaways ; and whereas, in the olden time, the warriors, with
cold steel, ripped* up the Jewish bowels for the stolen goods, we, with
improved humanity, would displace the sword by the stomach-pump.
ROYAL EQUESTRIANISM.
The Court newsman told us, one dav last week, that on the previous
morning the Princess Royal and the Prince op Wales took exercise
in the grounds of Osborne House, by " walking and riding on their
ponies." Now their riding on their ponies was all natural and proper
enough; but their walking on their ponies is a piece of cleverness we
should not have given them credit for. We cannot imagine that a visit
to Astley's can have had such an effect on t he young scions of Royalty
as to have set them imitating those rapid acts of horsemanship in
which village maidens jump over silken scarfs from the backs of fleet
coursers, or equestrian Apollos leap through capacious hoops, held
aloft in the air by the venerable hand of the still florescent Widdi-
comb. We will not believe that such are the freaks shadowed forth
in the announcement that "the Princess Royal and the Prince of
Wales walked and rode on their ponies." That they are infant prodigies
in every honourable respect our loyalty commands us to believe; but
that they are qualified to be made " features " of in an Astley's bill, as
Les Petits Baleines (the Little Waleses), we pronounce to be a sup-
position at once absurd and incredible.