DOI issue:
January to June, 1848
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16546#0039
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
31
©ur $lan for dFotttfsmfi iLontoon.
As it seems settled we are to be invaded, despite our wooden wails,
and as the Guards are to march out of London by the Edgeware or
Hampstead Road, while the enemy march into it by Camberwell or
Clapham, we have turned our attention to a plan for fortifying the
metropolis.
Since last Saturday, we have accordingly mastered the works of
Vauban and Coehorn, with the improvements of Cormontaigne,
Montalembert, Bousnard, Chasseloup de Rabat, and Choumara.
Fortified by the authority of these great names, we sat down and
worked till our head was filled with horn-works, our attention distracted
with unravelling ravelins, and our judgment utterly perplexed with
redoubts. In fact, we got into " a mighty maze," but came out of it (as
we always do) "not without a plan."
Commissioners of Woods and Forests, if we are put to anymore trouble
LORD JOHN RUSSELL'S BOWL OF BISHOP. about Trafalgar Square, either in making jokes upon it ourselves, or
protecting the subject against trespassers.
j,—t this usually inclement season of the
year, the cheerful mug of egg-flip and
M Y\ ^ne comforting tumbler of hot-spiced
/fc A elder cordial are in great request, as the
M V\ means of raising low spirits and warm-
u^^J, /\ V\ i11? cockles of the chilled heart.
iWlfsEE ^NV Perhaps, however, both egg-hot and elder-
HiJjfewr^ X_ wllie niust }^id in their elevating and
ffjjtg^^^^ ^^ invigorating properties to a good Bishop.
uis&a^t t- y\ Hence, doubtless, it is, that, in pursuance
■^^^Ski^j^^^- J1 - ut ^11S wt>^~kno\vn liberal feelings, Lord
3jT ^lS§§?\John Russell has selected the present
5 '~ * &^s ^mit as Pecu^ar'y appropriate to the
f i^^j0J^^^0- ^ donation which he has just made to the
'^^^^^^gL^M^l>^ destitute people of Hereford. The Pre-
gmBMsOSm B^jrWfN~ - liner, indeed, appears to have given them
^^^^gj^^ggj^^Br^^." more Bishop than they know what to do
"~- with; for the public at large, through the
~ '■—' channels of the press, has been absolutely
deluged with his lordship's Bishop ; and
the Bishop has got so completely into our heads, that it may be ques-
tioned whether we have not had more of it than is good for us.
Lord John's Bishop, in some quarters, has given much satisfaction;
in others, it has been greatly objected to. By some palates it has been
pronounced not to have the orthodox flavour j and hence a quantity of
hot water has been added to it by certain parties, who, however, by so
doing, have only made a mess of it. The Bishop appears to have been
disliked at Oxford, and dissatisfaction was expressed with it by thirteen
dignitaries of the Church, few of whom, it seems, had ever tasted it.
The Dean of Hereford refused the Bishop altogether; but swallowed
it at last on compulsion, with very many wry laces. We shall not
undertake to decide on the merits of Lord John's Bishop, and will
content ourselves with publishing the following testimonials which
have been sent to us, and of the genuineness of which we have no
doubt.
" No. l.
" This is to certify, that to my taste the Hereford Bishop of Lord
John Russell and Co. is a perfectly wholesome and highly palatable
beverage. It is wholly free from any deleterious ingredients; and i Let horn-works (A, B, C, D, E,) be thrown out at Chelsea Hospital
have no hesitation in terming it an excellent compound. The Hereford ! Peckham New Town, Upper Clapton, Highbury Barn, and Primrose
Bishop is quite after my own heart. I relish it exceedingly, and have
much pleasure in giving it my recommendation.
" R. Dublin."
"No. ii.
"For some time, I regret to say, I entertained an unfavourable
impression with respect to the Hereford Bishop made by Lord John
Russell, and, in common with others, was induced to speak dispa-
ragingly thereof. My opinion of it, however, was founded on mere
hearsay, and I now candidly admit, was an erroneous prejudice. I have
at length tested this Bishop, and, having given it a fair trial, unhesi-
tatingly pronounce it to be a superior article. I not only think the
Bishop may be taken with perfect safety, but with great benefit to the
internal constitution. " S. Oxon."
After these attestations in its favour, it is probable that Lord John
Russell's Bishop will become popular • though neither that nor any
other Bishop, we imagine, will ever rival the popularity of Punch.
BREACH OF PRIVILEGE.
We are sorry to be compelled to notice, on"the part of a publication
so respectable as the Builder, a case of what we are justified in pro-
nouncing a gross breach of privilege. Everybody knows that we some
years ago made the Nelson Column and Trafalgar Square our own; and
though we can make some allowance for the professional pilferer who
from habit cannot keep his hands out of his neighbour's pockets, we
cannot pardon, in any one holding an honourable station in the world,
those acts that none but the poorest of wits are generally guiltv of. It
is a lamentable fact, that the Builder has made a joke on Trafalgar
Square and the Nelson Column.
We might throw the whole concern, fountains, statues, oyster-shells,
and all, into Chancery, if we thought the materials worth the expense
of an injunction; but we prefer warning our usually excellent contem-
porary against a repetition of such an offence as he has on this occasion
committed. As it is the first fault we will not be severe • and we may
perhaps make this apology for the Builder, that he thought we had
done with the Column, and he therefore considered himself entitled to
make use of the old materials. We trust he will be more careful for
the future, and not infringe upon a right of which we claim exclusively
the exercise. We really shall proceed for compensation against the
Hill, with a glacis and covered way at the re-entering angles of the
counterscarp, and demilunes at right angles to the lunettes. This gives
us our enceinte, within which the enemy would be confined if they once
Eassed our outworks, and from which we might play upon them with
atteries en barbette at the old Bun House, Jack Straw's Castle, Hicks's
Hall, and Chalk Farm, throwing a cross fire right round the line of
Post Delivery, of which the only difficulty would be for the troops to
avoid hitting each other.
Within this line we would throw out a strong bastion, en tenaille,
to command the Dover Road, say in Surrey Square, to be worked by
the respectable inhabitants of that neighbourhood; and a tete-du-poni
to defend the passage of the Surrey Canal, which might be manned by
the lightermen, formed into a corps of lighter-bobs for that service.
Their fire would infallibly confuse an enemy, especially if they were
allowed to slang as well as shoot them.
The Bridges must, of course, be secured by redoubts, with glacis on
the exterior face, so as to make it impossible for the enemy to breach
the bastion by firing along the ditch of the ravelin.
Their heavy guns would thus be comparatively useless, and if a
tenaillon could be thrown up to mask the foot of the escarpe revetement,
but few of them would probably return to tell the tale. At the same
time, we must strongly combat the proposal, which has not yet been
made, to throw up a terre-plein with breastworks on the exterior of the
parapet, which would be an unnecessary exposure of the flanks 01
the bastion, and might probably cause the enceinte to be breached at the
first crowning of the glacis ; a contingency, we need hardly say, which
could not fail to have the most deplorable consequences.
If this plan be followed out in strict detail, we may sleep comfort-
ably in our beds, which it, is the duty of every Englishman to resist
doing while our capital is left in its present shamefully naked state.
A Solemn Farce.
The directions for confirming a Bishop bear a very close resemblance
to the received recipe for dressing a cucumber. " Slice it," says
Chesterfield ; " sprinkle with pepper/salt, oil, and vinegar. When the
dressing is to your taste, take your cucumber and-throw it out of
the window." So with the Bow-Church ceremonial. " Catch your
bishop, read his petition, call upon all persons who have grounds of
opposition to come forward and oppose, and when they come forward
-declare you can't hear them."
31
©ur $lan for dFotttfsmfi iLontoon.
As it seems settled we are to be invaded, despite our wooden wails,
and as the Guards are to march out of London by the Edgeware or
Hampstead Road, while the enemy march into it by Camberwell or
Clapham, we have turned our attention to a plan for fortifying the
metropolis.
Since last Saturday, we have accordingly mastered the works of
Vauban and Coehorn, with the improvements of Cormontaigne,
Montalembert, Bousnard, Chasseloup de Rabat, and Choumara.
Fortified by the authority of these great names, we sat down and
worked till our head was filled with horn-works, our attention distracted
with unravelling ravelins, and our judgment utterly perplexed with
redoubts. In fact, we got into " a mighty maze," but came out of it (as
we always do) "not without a plan."
Commissioners of Woods and Forests, if we are put to anymore trouble
LORD JOHN RUSSELL'S BOWL OF BISHOP. about Trafalgar Square, either in making jokes upon it ourselves, or
protecting the subject against trespassers.
j,—t this usually inclement season of the
year, the cheerful mug of egg-flip and
M Y\ ^ne comforting tumbler of hot-spiced
/fc A elder cordial are in great request, as the
M V\ means of raising low spirits and warm-
u^^J, /\ V\ i11? cockles of the chilled heart.
iWlfsEE ^NV Perhaps, however, both egg-hot and elder-
HiJjfewr^ X_ wllie niust }^id in their elevating and
ffjjtg^^^^ ^^ invigorating properties to a good Bishop.
uis&a^t t- y\ Hence, doubtless, it is, that, in pursuance
■^^^Ski^j^^^- J1 - ut ^11S wt>^~kno\vn liberal feelings, Lord
3jT ^lS§§?\John Russell has selected the present
5 '~ * &^s ^mit as Pecu^ar'y appropriate to the
f i^^j0J^^^0- ^ donation which he has just made to the
'^^^^^^gL^M^l>^ destitute people of Hereford. The Pre-
gmBMsOSm B^jrWfN~ - liner, indeed, appears to have given them
^^^^gj^^ggj^^Br^^." more Bishop than they know what to do
"~- with; for the public at large, through the
~ '■—' channels of the press, has been absolutely
deluged with his lordship's Bishop ; and
the Bishop has got so completely into our heads, that it may be ques-
tioned whether we have not had more of it than is good for us.
Lord John's Bishop, in some quarters, has given much satisfaction;
in others, it has been greatly objected to. By some palates it has been
pronounced not to have the orthodox flavour j and hence a quantity of
hot water has been added to it by certain parties, who, however, by so
doing, have only made a mess of it. The Bishop appears to have been
disliked at Oxford, and dissatisfaction was expressed with it by thirteen
dignitaries of the Church, few of whom, it seems, had ever tasted it.
The Dean of Hereford refused the Bishop altogether; but swallowed
it at last on compulsion, with very many wry laces. We shall not
undertake to decide on the merits of Lord John's Bishop, and will
content ourselves with publishing the following testimonials which
have been sent to us, and of the genuineness of which we have no
doubt.
" No. l.
" This is to certify, that to my taste the Hereford Bishop of Lord
John Russell and Co. is a perfectly wholesome and highly palatable
beverage. It is wholly free from any deleterious ingredients; and i Let horn-works (A, B, C, D, E,) be thrown out at Chelsea Hospital
have no hesitation in terming it an excellent compound. The Hereford ! Peckham New Town, Upper Clapton, Highbury Barn, and Primrose
Bishop is quite after my own heart. I relish it exceedingly, and have
much pleasure in giving it my recommendation.
" R. Dublin."
"No. ii.
"For some time, I regret to say, I entertained an unfavourable
impression with respect to the Hereford Bishop made by Lord John
Russell, and, in common with others, was induced to speak dispa-
ragingly thereof. My opinion of it, however, was founded on mere
hearsay, and I now candidly admit, was an erroneous prejudice. I have
at length tested this Bishop, and, having given it a fair trial, unhesi-
tatingly pronounce it to be a superior article. I not only think the
Bishop may be taken with perfect safety, but with great benefit to the
internal constitution. " S. Oxon."
After these attestations in its favour, it is probable that Lord John
Russell's Bishop will become popular • though neither that nor any
other Bishop, we imagine, will ever rival the popularity of Punch.
BREACH OF PRIVILEGE.
We are sorry to be compelled to notice, on"the part of a publication
so respectable as the Builder, a case of what we are justified in pro-
nouncing a gross breach of privilege. Everybody knows that we some
years ago made the Nelson Column and Trafalgar Square our own; and
though we can make some allowance for the professional pilferer who
from habit cannot keep his hands out of his neighbour's pockets, we
cannot pardon, in any one holding an honourable station in the world,
those acts that none but the poorest of wits are generally guiltv of. It
is a lamentable fact, that the Builder has made a joke on Trafalgar
Square and the Nelson Column.
We might throw the whole concern, fountains, statues, oyster-shells,
and all, into Chancery, if we thought the materials worth the expense
of an injunction; but we prefer warning our usually excellent contem-
porary against a repetition of such an offence as he has on this occasion
committed. As it is the first fault we will not be severe • and we may
perhaps make this apology for the Builder, that he thought we had
done with the Column, and he therefore considered himself entitled to
make use of the old materials. We trust he will be more careful for
the future, and not infringe upon a right of which we claim exclusively
the exercise. We really shall proceed for compensation against the
Hill, with a glacis and covered way at the re-entering angles of the
counterscarp, and demilunes at right angles to the lunettes. This gives
us our enceinte, within which the enemy would be confined if they once
Eassed our outworks, and from which we might play upon them with
atteries en barbette at the old Bun House, Jack Straw's Castle, Hicks's
Hall, and Chalk Farm, throwing a cross fire right round the line of
Post Delivery, of which the only difficulty would be for the troops to
avoid hitting each other.
Within this line we would throw out a strong bastion, en tenaille,
to command the Dover Road, say in Surrey Square, to be worked by
the respectable inhabitants of that neighbourhood; and a tete-du-poni
to defend the passage of the Surrey Canal, which might be manned by
the lightermen, formed into a corps of lighter-bobs for that service.
Their fire would infallibly confuse an enemy, especially if they were
allowed to slang as well as shoot them.
The Bridges must, of course, be secured by redoubts, with glacis on
the exterior face, so as to make it impossible for the enemy to breach
the bastion by firing along the ditch of the ravelin.
Their heavy guns would thus be comparatively useless, and if a
tenaillon could be thrown up to mask the foot of the escarpe revetement,
but few of them would probably return to tell the tale. At the same
time, we must strongly combat the proposal, which has not yet been
made, to throw up a terre-plein with breastworks on the exterior of the
parapet, which would be an unnecessary exposure of the flanks 01
the bastion, and might probably cause the enceinte to be breached at the
first crowning of the glacis ; a contingency, we need hardly say, which
could not fail to have the most deplorable consequences.
If this plan be followed out in strict detail, we may sleep comfort-
ably in our beds, which it, is the duty of every Englishman to resist
doing while our capital is left in its present shamefully naked state.
A Solemn Farce.
The directions for confirming a Bishop bear a very close resemblance
to the received recipe for dressing a cucumber. " Slice it," says
Chesterfield ; " sprinkle with pepper/salt, oil, and vinegar. When the
dressing is to your taste, take your cucumber and-throw it out of
the window." So with the Bow-Church ceremonial. " Catch your
bishop, read his petition, call upon all persons who have grounds of
opposition to come forward and oppose, and when they come forward
-declare you can't hear them."