DOI issue:
July to December, 1848
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16547#0089
82
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A LETTER FROM A SLEEPY MEMBER.
" Mb. Punch, "Bellamys, Friday, August Wth, 1848.
" Sib, I rise—I mean sit—to address you, Sir, on a subject
involving, in a great degree, the comfort and happiness of a considerable
portion of that Honourable House, of which I have the honour to be a
Member; need I say, I refer to the House ol Commons? Sir, when I
tell you that it is my custom, as it is
also the custom of many other gen-
tlemen in that Honourable House,
to take a few glasses of wine at
dinner—I say, Sir, when I state that
fact to you, I am sure you will not
be surprised, nor will your numerous
readers be surprised to hear, that not
untrequently during the speeches of
Mr. Anstey and other Honourable
Gentlemen, whose long-windedness
and long-wordiness render them the
terror of Her Majesty's faithful
Commons in Parliament assembled—
I say, Sir, that you will not be sur-
prised to hear that not unfrequently
I find, as other Honourable Members
of t hat Honourable House also find,
it impossible to keep our eyes and
ears open, and that we sometimes
detect ourselves in the arms of Mr.
Morpheus, which is synonymous to
the somnolifieb in the MOKNiNG. finding ourselves in the hands of
Mr. Anstey. (Hear, hear, and a
laugh). Now, Sir, as sleeping rlpon benches is highly conducive to
cramp, rheumatism, and pins-and-needles, what I desire is, to obtain
leave to bring in a Bill to enable Members of Parliament to pro-
vide their own seats in the House as well as out of it {Hear! and a
very small laugh). I have, Sir, at great personal trouble, and 1 will say,
at great pecuniarv sacrifice, constructed, by the aid of my upholsterer,
a machine, which,
after much mental
anxiety, both upon
my own part and on
the part of my up-
holsterer, I have de-
termined to desig-
nate, ' The Som-
nolifieb ; or, Thx
House of Commons
made easy.' By
the sketches, Sir,
which accompany
---<-
The Delightful Process of Dressing in a Bathing Machine*
THE LADY CORONETS OE WESTMINSTER.
he days of chivalry are gone; and Mr. H. Berkeley
may be said to have spoken the funeral oration of
the deceased. His assault upon the female Coronets
(Coronets are of both sexes) of Westminster in his
Ballot resolution, was distinguished by a fierceness
that makes Punch blush for the gallantry of the
Commons. To think that an M.P., in human shape, should speak
thus of woman ; lovely, gentle, darling woman!—
" In the course of the day before the election fix carriages drew up at this trades-
man's door, each with a coronet on the panels. From these carriages descended'
parties of ladies, and there was no cajolery or artifice to which they did not resort in
order to induce him to vote for Captain Rons. In conclusion, they worried (he poor
this bill—I mean 1 ,_ ■......II i jf" so much-
this letter—you will
perceive how admi-
rably ' The Somno-
lifier' is calculated the bomnolifier in the evening.
for the purposes for
which I (and in justice I will add), my upholsterer designed it.
" Lend, Sir, your powerful aid—powerful because deserved— deserved
because—because ; (Here the Honourable Member becomes illegible)—
lend that aid to support a measure and a machine so conducive to the
ease of the Members of that Honourable House, of which I have the
honour to form an integral but an unworthy part.
" Then may we exclaim, Sir, in the words of Sir Robert Peel—
" 1 Titjre, tu patulse recubans sub tegmine fagi.'
" I have the honour to be, Sir,
" Your obedient Servant,
" A Sleepy Member."
COURT-MARTIAL.
The soldier's frock-coat has been called up before a Court-martial,
presided over by Lieut.-Colonel Stultz, assisted by General
Doudney, Ensign Moses, and several other distinguished officers.
The offence the frock-coat has given is not distinctly known, but it was
stated that an example was wanted to strike terror into the British
Army, and accordingly, the coat was sentenced to receive a dozen rounds.
The culprit was instantly tied up by the arms to the Alberts. When
he was cut down the rounds had been given with such precision, that
the poor coat was wasted away almost to a mere jacket, and presented
so sad a spectacle that it made the stoutest turn and tremble. He was
immediately carried to the tailors' board, and restoratives applied, but
it is not expected that he will survive much longer. He has evidently
been cut off in his prime, and will be universally regretted, as he was a very
great favourite amongst all bodies, wherever a military coat was seen.
In short, they left the man no voice, driving off with his plumper as-
banditti would ride off with a traveller's portmanteau. Such, at least,
is the ungallant inference of Mr. Berkeley ; and we very much-
regret, for the honour of Parliament assembled, that no Member
had the chivalry to question it. "Cajolery," "artifice," applied
to female Coronets ! Endeavouring to speak in the injured spirit
of the accused, " We should very much like to know what the
honourable gentleman means ? It's like his impudence ! A lady
can't shake hands with a butcher, or kiss his baby, or declare
what a dear good-looking woman his wife is, or merely give her
private opinion that Captain Rous is a darling of a sailor, and one who
ought to be voted for, and if he isn't, that the tradesman refusing
shall never send in another farthing's-worth of goods; no, not if there
was not another butcher in all Westminster: a lady, for the most
innocent motives, can only just hint so much as this, for the good of
the country, assailed as it is in Church and State—as the dear Bishop
of Canaan says, with tears in his eyes—a lady, making an effort with
herself to protect our Institutions, has only to smile, or laugh, or
frown, or scold a wretch of a voter, as the case may be, and up
gets a gentleman in the House of Commons—(and what that House of
Commons can be made of, to sit quiet and listen to such things, it's
more than she can tell)—and talks of 'cajolery,' and 'artifice,5 and
' worrying!' Well, she never ! The lady only wishes she was a man—
that'sail!"
Eor our own part, we think it would have been more straightforward
in Mr. Berkeley to have brought in a Bill making it felony for any
lady to canvas a voter, unless the said lady should—as in the days of
our great-grandmothers—wear a mask and register herself as not being,
under two-and-forty. This, we take it, would have put down the abuse-
once and for ever._______
The Man op the Sword.—Many people have inquired, What is
Mr. Meagher of the Sword ? We answer, that he is the Elat of the
Sword.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A LETTER FROM A SLEEPY MEMBER.
" Mb. Punch, "Bellamys, Friday, August Wth, 1848.
" Sib, I rise—I mean sit—to address you, Sir, on a subject
involving, in a great degree, the comfort and happiness of a considerable
portion of that Honourable House, of which I have the honour to be a
Member; need I say, I refer to the House ol Commons? Sir, when I
tell you that it is my custom, as it is
also the custom of many other gen-
tlemen in that Honourable House,
to take a few glasses of wine at
dinner—I say, Sir, when I state that
fact to you, I am sure you will not
be surprised, nor will your numerous
readers be surprised to hear, that not
untrequently during the speeches of
Mr. Anstey and other Honourable
Gentlemen, whose long-windedness
and long-wordiness render them the
terror of Her Majesty's faithful
Commons in Parliament assembled—
I say, Sir, that you will not be sur-
prised to hear that not unfrequently
I find, as other Honourable Members
of t hat Honourable House also find,
it impossible to keep our eyes and
ears open, and that we sometimes
detect ourselves in the arms of Mr.
Morpheus, which is synonymous to
the somnolifieb in the MOKNiNG. finding ourselves in the hands of
Mr. Anstey. (Hear, hear, and a
laugh). Now, Sir, as sleeping rlpon benches is highly conducive to
cramp, rheumatism, and pins-and-needles, what I desire is, to obtain
leave to bring in a Bill to enable Members of Parliament to pro-
vide their own seats in the House as well as out of it {Hear! and a
very small laugh). I have, Sir, at great personal trouble, and 1 will say,
at great pecuniarv sacrifice, constructed, by the aid of my upholsterer,
a machine, which,
after much mental
anxiety, both upon
my own part and on
the part of my up-
holsterer, I have de-
termined to desig-
nate, ' The Som-
nolifieb ; or, Thx
House of Commons
made easy.' By
the sketches, Sir,
which accompany
---<-
The Delightful Process of Dressing in a Bathing Machine*
THE LADY CORONETS OE WESTMINSTER.
he days of chivalry are gone; and Mr. H. Berkeley
may be said to have spoken the funeral oration of
the deceased. His assault upon the female Coronets
(Coronets are of both sexes) of Westminster in his
Ballot resolution, was distinguished by a fierceness
that makes Punch blush for the gallantry of the
Commons. To think that an M.P., in human shape, should speak
thus of woman ; lovely, gentle, darling woman!—
" In the course of the day before the election fix carriages drew up at this trades-
man's door, each with a coronet on the panels. From these carriages descended'
parties of ladies, and there was no cajolery or artifice to which they did not resort in
order to induce him to vote for Captain Rons. In conclusion, they worried (he poor
this bill—I mean 1 ,_ ■......II i jf" so much-
this letter—you will
perceive how admi-
rably ' The Somno-
lifier' is calculated the bomnolifier in the evening.
for the purposes for
which I (and in justice I will add), my upholsterer designed it.
" Lend, Sir, your powerful aid—powerful because deserved— deserved
because—because ; (Here the Honourable Member becomes illegible)—
lend that aid to support a measure and a machine so conducive to the
ease of the Members of that Honourable House, of which I have the
honour to form an integral but an unworthy part.
" Then may we exclaim, Sir, in the words of Sir Robert Peel—
" 1 Titjre, tu patulse recubans sub tegmine fagi.'
" I have the honour to be, Sir,
" Your obedient Servant,
" A Sleepy Member."
COURT-MARTIAL.
The soldier's frock-coat has been called up before a Court-martial,
presided over by Lieut.-Colonel Stultz, assisted by General
Doudney, Ensign Moses, and several other distinguished officers.
The offence the frock-coat has given is not distinctly known, but it was
stated that an example was wanted to strike terror into the British
Army, and accordingly, the coat was sentenced to receive a dozen rounds.
The culprit was instantly tied up by the arms to the Alberts. When
he was cut down the rounds had been given with such precision, that
the poor coat was wasted away almost to a mere jacket, and presented
so sad a spectacle that it made the stoutest turn and tremble. He was
immediately carried to the tailors' board, and restoratives applied, but
it is not expected that he will survive much longer. He has evidently
been cut off in his prime, and will be universally regretted, as he was a very
great favourite amongst all bodies, wherever a military coat was seen.
In short, they left the man no voice, driving off with his plumper as-
banditti would ride off with a traveller's portmanteau. Such, at least,
is the ungallant inference of Mr. Berkeley ; and we very much-
regret, for the honour of Parliament assembled, that no Member
had the chivalry to question it. "Cajolery," "artifice," applied
to female Coronets ! Endeavouring to speak in the injured spirit
of the accused, " We should very much like to know what the
honourable gentleman means ? It's like his impudence ! A lady
can't shake hands with a butcher, or kiss his baby, or declare
what a dear good-looking woman his wife is, or merely give her
private opinion that Captain Rous is a darling of a sailor, and one who
ought to be voted for, and if he isn't, that the tradesman refusing
shall never send in another farthing's-worth of goods; no, not if there
was not another butcher in all Westminster: a lady, for the most
innocent motives, can only just hint so much as this, for the good of
the country, assailed as it is in Church and State—as the dear Bishop
of Canaan says, with tears in his eyes—a lady, making an effort with
herself to protect our Institutions, has only to smile, or laugh, or
frown, or scold a wretch of a voter, as the case may be, and up
gets a gentleman in the House of Commons—(and what that House of
Commons can be made of, to sit quiet and listen to such things, it's
more than she can tell)—and talks of 'cajolery,' and 'artifice,5 and
' worrying!' Well, she never ! The lady only wishes she was a man—
that'sail!"
Eor our own part, we think it would have been more straightforward
in Mr. Berkeley to have brought in a Bill making it felony for any
lady to canvas a voter, unless the said lady should—as in the days of
our great-grandmothers—wear a mask and register herself as not being,
under two-and-forty. This, we take it, would have put down the abuse-
once and for ever._______
The Man op the Sword.—Many people have inquired, What is
Mr. Meagher of the Sword ? We answer, that he is the Elat of the
Sword.