DOI Heft:
July to December, 1848
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16547#0174
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
167
THE ENGLISH PAINTED BY THE FRENCH.
The following extract is taken literally from a late number of the
Consiitutionnel. It, is a chapter of a romance, called Le Cabinet Noir,
The sooner this Cabinet is thrown out, we should say, from the specimen
below, the better. However, it is too peculiar to be lost. We are
sure the British Peerage will be a little astonished at the new genea-
logical tree introduced, root aDd branch, into it. One thing, however,
is certain, that no noble house in England can boast of such a peculiar
line of descent as the one at present eulogised. Without further
flourish, we inform the reader it is the " House that Jack (Ketch)
built." , The writer (a Mons. Charles Rabou, a name that henceforth
must upset Lodge, and throw Burke from the Sublime into the
Ridiculous) devotes a whole chapter to "Kitty Ketch." Amorgst
other absurdities, too numerous to mention, he informs us that—
" This Kitty Ketch wa8 a youn^ and pretty girl, having the purity and the
sprightly tounmre of the lily, with the frebhness of the rose in the mouth of May.
"fehe was w ell known in the capital of England, first of all on account of her
beauty, but more especially on account of the profession exercised by her father.
Since the reign of Charles the Fiest, the Ketches have been the public execu-
tioners in London, it is a family which does not yield anything in notokiety
(en notorie'tS) to the pboddest names of the English aristocracy, and which has
established for itself a sort of nobility with the people, by the cord and the gallows.
" Far from detracting from the success of the lovely Kitty, the lu^ubri-us pr>»-
fession which the worthy author of her days followed seemed rather to have multi-
plied the number of her admirers and sighing loren. For many she h^d the
particular attraction, which is found amongst actresses, of occupying a prominent
uosition before the public eye. For others, which is generally the result of contrast,
the glory (L'auriole) i f blood which circled her fair forehead spoke with a strange
eloquence to the imagination ; and upon the foggy banks of the Thames, whqi e the
national character delights ;ather to come in contact with gloomy ideas, Kitty had
become such a matter of fashion, that bankers, the most opulent Jews, the greatest
political celebrities, and even several Members of the Royal Family, would willioglj
have laid down, if her heart had only hsteued to their appeals, the most fabulous
prices for the possession of her hand."
We hope the absurdity of our extract will compensate for its length.
But, absurd as it is, we can deduce several facts from it most interesting
to English history.
First, We ltarn that the family of Jack Ketch competes with the
Bedfords, and Norfolks, and Nokthumbeklands, &c, &c.
Secondly, That Jacz. Ketch has created a nobility lor himself with
the British mob.
Thirdly, That the banks of the Thames are always foggy.
Fourthly That we Englishmen revel in gloomy ideas, and that every
Anglais is in heart a lugubrious fellow, who makes a cemetery his play-
ground, and Miss Jack Ketch his playfellow.
Fifthly, That English bankers and English Ministers, carrying out
this national taste, are apt to prowl about Newgate, and wait 111
ambush round the corner of Horsemonger Lane, witu the view of
meeting the lovely daughter of the public executioner.
Sixthly, That members of the royal family are not too proud to
foilow in this English pastime. It is a thousand pities Mons. Rabou
never mentions the name of the royal prince who wanted so madly to
elope with Miss Jack Ketch, for it would make a very valuable illus-
tration for the next edition of Mk. Charles Knight's "Pictorial
History of England." It could never have been James?
By ttie bye, what an amusing book it would make—''The History of
England, written by a Frenchman!" When we have nothing to do,
we will write it ourselves, just " lor the fun of the thing."
POMPEI AND CAESAR IN AMERICA,
The Timet, in allusion to an anticipated state of anarchy in the
American Union, says—"Such are just the times for a Marius or a
Sylla, a Pompey or a Cesar." There is really something ominous in
our contemporary's remark.
The American Republic may not have much to fear from a Sylla
or a Marius, but Jonathan may well entertain a pretty considerable
apprehension of a C<esar or a Pompey. Thanks to the mstitution ol
Slavery, the United States already produce Pompeis and Cjcsaks iu
abundance. There is a black spot in the American horizon, which is
daily growing bigger and blacker. The Black Republicans may prove
as troublesome in the States as the Red have bten in other quarters;
and, should they acquire the upper hand, there is no knowing to what
a pitch the blackness of Transatlantic affairs may grow. At present,
General Taylor and Martin Van Buren are contesting the Presi-
dency ; but we may live to see the American Dictatorship, the bone of
contention between Pomfey and Gssar.
Bourbon Liberality.
They write from Naples—
" a Neapolitan steamer left for Sicily on the 3Srd (alb) with fretk supplies of
bomb-shells."
Thus the King of Naples supplies his subjects with bombshells, as a
conscientious egg-wife supplies her customers—namely, with the com-
modity fresh and fresh.
THE col UMN
ALONE COST
THE Sill" OF
23 .000 J.
MODEST MERIT.
■-77oTr~i| We have long come to the conclusion
ctcK^HAjr that u Modest Merit" is one of the worst
i_o_o fi\ specs, in the world, and that a dumb
waiter upon fortune may wait long
enough, unless he will speak up for him-
self and proclaim his own deserts to an
indiscrimmating public. We are afraid
that the Nelson Monument in Trafalgar
Square owes at least half the contempt of
which it is the object to its omission to
proclaim its own value, or rather, its own
cost, to the passing stranger. We
recollect hearing of a person who, by way
of advertising his literary achievements
to the world, hung a placard about his
neck, inscribed with the words, " The
author of a hundred pieces," and thus
labelled, he obtained not only publicity
for his books, but occasionally a few
odd coppers for his dinner.
We think this system might be applied
with success to some of the monuments
about town, which the public do not
appreciate. The Nelson Column, for
example, would never be suspected of
having run through £23,000—to say
nothing of the amount of capital expended
on its top; and those precious stones at
ihe base do not bear the appearance of
having cost close upon £4000—two little
facts that ought to be notified by having
the component parts of the column duly
ticket ed. The Lions, who are daily ex-
pected from the mason's menagerie, where
they are only waiting to have the last
blow of the mallet on their noses, and the
Kg final chiselling out of the whites of their
eyes, will never look like their worth—
or rather their pi ice—of £3000, unless
means are taken to state the fact by
hanging a copy of the bill and receipt round ihe neck of each of them.
As to the ginger-beer fountains, we should recommend their being
decked out with one of the old familiar
haberdashery puffs, inscribed " Look
here! Alarming Sacrifice!" which will
be more expressive than naming any
actual amount as the price paid for their
erection.
The National Gallery buildings should
be ticketed en masse, as "Ail these at"
—whatever the figure may be which
'he nation has paid for them. The statue
of the Duke of Welllington at the
Royal Exchange should be decorated, like the bread when it has risen,
with the words " Up again ! " and the price, whatever it may be, should
be added in very large capitals.
A Slight Contradiction.
Mk. G. P. R. James published, last year, a Book called Ihe Last of
the Fairies.
This year again he has published another Book full of Pairies.
This is the worst of Jakes—he is determined you shall never hear
the last of him.
SABBATH LOLLIPOPS.
The Ret. W. S. Bricknell of Easham, Oxfordshire, has fined a
fruiterer, named Barton, in the penalty of 5s. for that—in his absence
—his daughter, a chdd of nine years old, did on the Sunday, instigated
by the enemy of man, serve another child of the like mature years
with lollipops to t he amount of one halfpenny. It is really delicious, in
these days of laxity, to find clergymen so apostolically precise! It is
no less gratifying to know that such sweet single-mindednees on the
part of a divine, meets with its appropriate reward. For we have
heard that a meeting is to be convened at Easham, for the purpose of
voting a piece of Art to the Rev. W. S. Brickkell, commemorative
of the lollipops and the offending children. The substance of the
Testimonial will be neither gold nor silver, but the hardest hard-bake •
and the subject—Herod and the Innocents !
167
THE ENGLISH PAINTED BY THE FRENCH.
The following extract is taken literally from a late number of the
Consiitutionnel. It, is a chapter of a romance, called Le Cabinet Noir,
The sooner this Cabinet is thrown out, we should say, from the specimen
below, the better. However, it is too peculiar to be lost. We are
sure the British Peerage will be a little astonished at the new genea-
logical tree introduced, root aDd branch, into it. One thing, however,
is certain, that no noble house in England can boast of such a peculiar
line of descent as the one at present eulogised. Without further
flourish, we inform the reader it is the " House that Jack (Ketch)
built." , The writer (a Mons. Charles Rabou, a name that henceforth
must upset Lodge, and throw Burke from the Sublime into the
Ridiculous) devotes a whole chapter to "Kitty Ketch." Amorgst
other absurdities, too numerous to mention, he informs us that—
" This Kitty Ketch wa8 a youn^ and pretty girl, having the purity and the
sprightly tounmre of the lily, with the frebhness of the rose in the mouth of May.
"fehe was w ell known in the capital of England, first of all on account of her
beauty, but more especially on account of the profession exercised by her father.
Since the reign of Charles the Fiest, the Ketches have been the public execu-
tioners in London, it is a family which does not yield anything in notokiety
(en notorie'tS) to the pboddest names of the English aristocracy, and which has
established for itself a sort of nobility with the people, by the cord and the gallows.
" Far from detracting from the success of the lovely Kitty, the lu^ubri-us pr>»-
fession which the worthy author of her days followed seemed rather to have multi-
plied the number of her admirers and sighing loren. For many she h^d the
particular attraction, which is found amongst actresses, of occupying a prominent
uosition before the public eye. For others, which is generally the result of contrast,
the glory (L'auriole) i f blood which circled her fair forehead spoke with a strange
eloquence to the imagination ; and upon the foggy banks of the Thames, whqi e the
national character delights ;ather to come in contact with gloomy ideas, Kitty had
become such a matter of fashion, that bankers, the most opulent Jews, the greatest
political celebrities, and even several Members of the Royal Family, would willioglj
have laid down, if her heart had only hsteued to their appeals, the most fabulous
prices for the possession of her hand."
We hope the absurdity of our extract will compensate for its length.
But, absurd as it is, we can deduce several facts from it most interesting
to English history.
First, We ltarn that the family of Jack Ketch competes with the
Bedfords, and Norfolks, and Nokthumbeklands, &c, &c.
Secondly, That Jacz. Ketch has created a nobility lor himself with
the British mob.
Thirdly, That the banks of the Thames are always foggy.
Fourthly That we Englishmen revel in gloomy ideas, and that every
Anglais is in heart a lugubrious fellow, who makes a cemetery his play-
ground, and Miss Jack Ketch his playfellow.
Fifthly, That English bankers and English Ministers, carrying out
this national taste, are apt to prowl about Newgate, and wait 111
ambush round the corner of Horsemonger Lane, witu the view of
meeting the lovely daughter of the public executioner.
Sixthly, That members of the royal family are not too proud to
foilow in this English pastime. It is a thousand pities Mons. Rabou
never mentions the name of the royal prince who wanted so madly to
elope with Miss Jack Ketch, for it would make a very valuable illus-
tration for the next edition of Mk. Charles Knight's "Pictorial
History of England." It could never have been James?
By ttie bye, what an amusing book it would make—''The History of
England, written by a Frenchman!" When we have nothing to do,
we will write it ourselves, just " lor the fun of the thing."
POMPEI AND CAESAR IN AMERICA,
The Timet, in allusion to an anticipated state of anarchy in the
American Union, says—"Such are just the times for a Marius or a
Sylla, a Pompey or a Cesar." There is really something ominous in
our contemporary's remark.
The American Republic may not have much to fear from a Sylla
or a Marius, but Jonathan may well entertain a pretty considerable
apprehension of a C<esar or a Pompey. Thanks to the mstitution ol
Slavery, the United States already produce Pompeis and Cjcsaks iu
abundance. There is a black spot in the American horizon, which is
daily growing bigger and blacker. The Black Republicans may prove
as troublesome in the States as the Red have bten in other quarters;
and, should they acquire the upper hand, there is no knowing to what
a pitch the blackness of Transatlantic affairs may grow. At present,
General Taylor and Martin Van Buren are contesting the Presi-
dency ; but we may live to see the American Dictatorship, the bone of
contention between Pomfey and Gssar.
Bourbon Liberality.
They write from Naples—
" a Neapolitan steamer left for Sicily on the 3Srd (alb) with fretk supplies of
bomb-shells."
Thus the King of Naples supplies his subjects with bombshells, as a
conscientious egg-wife supplies her customers—namely, with the com-
modity fresh and fresh.
THE col UMN
ALONE COST
THE Sill" OF
23 .000 J.
MODEST MERIT.
■-77oTr~i| We have long come to the conclusion
ctcK^HAjr that u Modest Merit" is one of the worst
i_o_o fi\ specs, in the world, and that a dumb
waiter upon fortune may wait long
enough, unless he will speak up for him-
self and proclaim his own deserts to an
indiscrimmating public. We are afraid
that the Nelson Monument in Trafalgar
Square owes at least half the contempt of
which it is the object to its omission to
proclaim its own value, or rather, its own
cost, to the passing stranger. We
recollect hearing of a person who, by way
of advertising his literary achievements
to the world, hung a placard about his
neck, inscribed with the words, " The
author of a hundred pieces," and thus
labelled, he obtained not only publicity
for his books, but occasionally a few
odd coppers for his dinner.
We think this system might be applied
with success to some of the monuments
about town, which the public do not
appreciate. The Nelson Column, for
example, would never be suspected of
having run through £23,000—to say
nothing of the amount of capital expended
on its top; and those precious stones at
ihe base do not bear the appearance of
having cost close upon £4000—two little
facts that ought to be notified by having
the component parts of the column duly
ticket ed. The Lions, who are daily ex-
pected from the mason's menagerie, where
they are only waiting to have the last
blow of the mallet on their noses, and the
Kg final chiselling out of the whites of their
eyes, will never look like their worth—
or rather their pi ice—of £3000, unless
means are taken to state the fact by
hanging a copy of the bill and receipt round ihe neck of each of them.
As to the ginger-beer fountains, we should recommend their being
decked out with one of the old familiar
haberdashery puffs, inscribed " Look
here! Alarming Sacrifice!" which will
be more expressive than naming any
actual amount as the price paid for their
erection.
The National Gallery buildings should
be ticketed en masse, as "Ail these at"
—whatever the figure may be which
'he nation has paid for them. The statue
of the Duke of Welllington at the
Royal Exchange should be decorated, like the bread when it has risen,
with the words " Up again ! " and the price, whatever it may be, should
be added in very large capitals.
A Slight Contradiction.
Mk. G. P. R. James published, last year, a Book called Ihe Last of
the Fairies.
This year again he has published another Book full of Pairies.
This is the worst of Jakes—he is determined you shall never hear
the last of him.
SABBATH LOLLIPOPS.
The Ret. W. S. Bricknell of Easham, Oxfordshire, has fined a
fruiterer, named Barton, in the penalty of 5s. for that—in his absence
—his daughter, a chdd of nine years old, did on the Sunday, instigated
by the enemy of man, serve another child of the like mature years
with lollipops to t he amount of one halfpenny. It is really delicious, in
these days of laxity, to find clergymen so apostolically precise! It is
no less gratifying to know that such sweet single-mindednees on the
part of a divine, meets with its appropriate reward. For we have
heard that a meeting is to be convened at Easham, for the purpose of
voting a piece of Art to the Rev. W. S. Brickkell, commemorative
of the lollipops and the offending children. The substance of the
Testimonial will be neither gold nor silver, but the hardest hard-bake •
and the subject—Herod and the Innocents !