DOI issue:
January to June, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16548#0050
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
43
ASTONISHING THE BROWNS.
We are told that
^^^^^ mend ' them '
-^JSCr^ ' bathe ia the Sa'
—* cramento, as it
is reported that
every Brown that goes into that river comes out a bran-Dew sove-
reign. The little Browns, of course, would only be half-sovereigns,
but a large family of them would be quite a treasure to a parent in these
hard times.
THE JOLLY LONDON BEGGARS.
A cantata (a long WAY) after burns.
Where oyster-shells bestrew the court,
Or, piled by urchin-hands in sport,
Compose the mimic grot;
Where cabbage-leaves and turnip-tops,
Potato parings, scraps, and slops,
In open kennel rot;
One night, at twelve, a ragged set,
Sham blind, ard maimed, and cripple,
At Stunning Buggins's were met,
To r< vel, sing, and tipple.
What whizz'ng and fizzing
Of liver fried, and crow ;
Tripe boiling, steak broiling,
Among those shades below !
First, next the fire, a varlet fat,
In tatter'd ducks, and oil-skin hat,
And nautical round-jacket,
With bandaged eye, and arm in sling,
And curling locks, and car with ring,
Kept up a constant racket.
And still he shouted, laughed, and swore,
And swill'd with might and main ;
Mow hiccup'd tor'h an oath the more,
Now took another drain.
Thus guzzled, unmuzzled,
The drunken, foul-mouthed knave ;
Then hoarsely and coarsely
He bellowed out this stave:—
I am a jovial Tar that ne'er saw a man of war,
Nor have I scra'ch or scar, yet the lame-dodge I come ;
This here patch is all my eye, this bandaged limb a lie,
And thus the trade I ply, of a do and a hum.
1 learnt my naval cant from the Surrey playhouse rant,
Oh ! the broken sailor's plant bea's the blind or the dumb ;
With "Your honour," from the gents I wheedle out the pence,
On a fraudulent pretence, by a hoax and a hum.
On what I call the "shot," from the greenhorns' "locker" got,
I enjoy my pipe and pot, or my jorum of rum ;
But " Avast there!" and " Yoho ! " now and then I find no go,
For a sailor sees at once that I'm a rogue and a hum.
He ceased ; the jingling glasses rang
Amid the laughter's roar,
While dingy fists the table bang,
And spill the liquor o'er;
Some noisy members of the gang
Demanded an encore :
A crone, whose gown in shreds did hang,
Did then her ditty pour.
I once had some children, I hardly know when,
But now I go begging, declaring I've ten,
With one in my arms all so sickly and shabby;
No wonder I carries that there young babby.
That chi'd I have hired to pass off for my own,
I pinch it and make it to whine and to moan;
It screams like a rat in the claws of a tabby,
And so I compassion excites by babby.
Thus my living I get—and a fig for the wrong—
Provided it gives me my glass and my song:
So here's to the health ol each soft-hearted gaby,
As pities my crying and squalling babby.
Then next a fellow, simpering meekly,
Outspake, with voice so mild and weakly,
In threadbare black, and white cravat,
And batter'd, broad-brimm'd, old silk hat—
With smirk and leer he thus began
To sii g the Serious Poor Young Man.
. A lazy humbug I was born,
To earn my bread I held it scorn,
And found it far a better plan
To act the Serious Poor Young Man.
Sing, hey the Serous Poor Young Man!
Sing, ho the Serious Poor Young Man!
There's not a scamp in all our clan,
Can match the Serious Poor Young Man
With cedar pencils in my hand,
Or sticks of sealing-wax, I stand :
" Soft Tommies' " hearts I thus trepan,
The decent, Serious Poor Young Man.
Sing, hey, &c.
I'm ne'er c»ught begsing in the facL,
So don't infringe Ihe Vagrant Act;
And let the Law do what it can
Agin the Serious Poor Ycung Man !
Sing, hey, &c.
So sang the Do; and plaudits loud
Bur«t from the ragamuffin crowd,
Who then, in chorus wild,
Joined, mendicant impostors all,
Tag rag and bobtail, great and small,
la "free-and-easy" tiled.
chorus.
A fig for honest occupation!
Bt ggary '& an easier trade :
Industry is mere starvation,
Mendicancy's better paid.
Alms for ever—no employment!
Labour is a dreary bore :
Let us idle in enjoyment,
Robbing the deserving poor !
punch's guide TO parents.
The child is the father of the man.
The pump is ihe father of the cow.
The salmon is ihe father of the headache.
The calf is the father of the mock turtle.
foreign intelligence.
The papers are continually announcing " Dates from Smyrna." This
is strange taste. They will next be publishing " Sausages from
Bologna," or " Shrimps from Pegwell Bay." However, it would be
quite a treat to devour the newspapn- at one's breakfast, if there were
aUays so maiy good things wrapt up in it.
EPITOME OP THE ENGLISH CLIMATE.
Skating on the Sunday.
Bathing on the Monday.
This was really the case in the Regent's Park two weeks ago.
TO BENEVOLENT MOTHERS.—A Young Widow, not yet 40, is anxious
J- to proceed to California, but is only detained by the hirrowing thought of
leaving ten beloved children behind her. Il is only the idea <>f ihe separation that
grieves her; but if any lady of respectability would take care of them in berabsence,
and premise to treat them as ten of her ow n family, a liberal reward shall be given
on the lady's return from California, and the kindness nyt quickly forgo.ten.
Answers to be sent immediately, stating what toasters and kind of table-beer are
kept, to Mas. Pbinole. Bellevue Villa, Wappln«r,
P.S. They all touch the piano, and are the ouietest little children ever known.
43
ASTONISHING THE BROWNS.
We are told that
^^^^^ mend ' them '
-^JSCr^ ' bathe ia the Sa'
—* cramento, as it
is reported that
every Brown that goes into that river comes out a bran-Dew sove-
reign. The little Browns, of course, would only be half-sovereigns,
but a large family of them would be quite a treasure to a parent in these
hard times.
THE JOLLY LONDON BEGGARS.
A cantata (a long WAY) after burns.
Where oyster-shells bestrew the court,
Or, piled by urchin-hands in sport,
Compose the mimic grot;
Where cabbage-leaves and turnip-tops,
Potato parings, scraps, and slops,
In open kennel rot;
One night, at twelve, a ragged set,
Sham blind, ard maimed, and cripple,
At Stunning Buggins's were met,
To r< vel, sing, and tipple.
What whizz'ng and fizzing
Of liver fried, and crow ;
Tripe boiling, steak broiling,
Among those shades below !
First, next the fire, a varlet fat,
In tatter'd ducks, and oil-skin hat,
And nautical round-jacket,
With bandaged eye, and arm in sling,
And curling locks, and car with ring,
Kept up a constant racket.
And still he shouted, laughed, and swore,
And swill'd with might and main ;
Mow hiccup'd tor'h an oath the more,
Now took another drain.
Thus guzzled, unmuzzled,
The drunken, foul-mouthed knave ;
Then hoarsely and coarsely
He bellowed out this stave:—
I am a jovial Tar that ne'er saw a man of war,
Nor have I scra'ch or scar, yet the lame-dodge I come ;
This here patch is all my eye, this bandaged limb a lie,
And thus the trade I ply, of a do and a hum.
1 learnt my naval cant from the Surrey playhouse rant,
Oh ! the broken sailor's plant bea's the blind or the dumb ;
With "Your honour," from the gents I wheedle out the pence,
On a fraudulent pretence, by a hoax and a hum.
On what I call the "shot," from the greenhorns' "locker" got,
I enjoy my pipe and pot, or my jorum of rum ;
But " Avast there!" and " Yoho ! " now and then I find no go,
For a sailor sees at once that I'm a rogue and a hum.
He ceased ; the jingling glasses rang
Amid the laughter's roar,
While dingy fists the table bang,
And spill the liquor o'er;
Some noisy members of the gang
Demanded an encore :
A crone, whose gown in shreds did hang,
Did then her ditty pour.
I once had some children, I hardly know when,
But now I go begging, declaring I've ten,
With one in my arms all so sickly and shabby;
No wonder I carries that there young babby.
That chi'd I have hired to pass off for my own,
I pinch it and make it to whine and to moan;
It screams like a rat in the claws of a tabby,
And so I compassion excites by babby.
Thus my living I get—and a fig for the wrong—
Provided it gives me my glass and my song:
So here's to the health ol each soft-hearted gaby,
As pities my crying and squalling babby.
Then next a fellow, simpering meekly,
Outspake, with voice so mild and weakly,
In threadbare black, and white cravat,
And batter'd, broad-brimm'd, old silk hat—
With smirk and leer he thus began
To sii g the Serious Poor Young Man.
. A lazy humbug I was born,
To earn my bread I held it scorn,
And found it far a better plan
To act the Serious Poor Young Man.
Sing, hey the Serous Poor Young Man!
Sing, ho the Serious Poor Young Man!
There's not a scamp in all our clan,
Can match the Serious Poor Young Man
With cedar pencils in my hand,
Or sticks of sealing-wax, I stand :
" Soft Tommies' " hearts I thus trepan,
The decent, Serious Poor Young Man.
Sing, hey, &c.
I'm ne'er c»ught begsing in the facL,
So don't infringe Ihe Vagrant Act;
And let the Law do what it can
Agin the Serious Poor Ycung Man !
Sing, hey, &c.
So sang the Do; and plaudits loud
Bur«t from the ragamuffin crowd,
Who then, in chorus wild,
Joined, mendicant impostors all,
Tag rag and bobtail, great and small,
la "free-and-easy" tiled.
chorus.
A fig for honest occupation!
Bt ggary '& an easier trade :
Industry is mere starvation,
Mendicancy's better paid.
Alms for ever—no employment!
Labour is a dreary bore :
Let us idle in enjoyment,
Robbing the deserving poor !
punch's guide TO parents.
The child is the father of the man.
The pump is ihe father of the cow.
The salmon is ihe father of the headache.
The calf is the father of the mock turtle.
foreign intelligence.
The papers are continually announcing " Dates from Smyrna." This
is strange taste. They will next be publishing " Sausages from
Bologna," or " Shrimps from Pegwell Bay." However, it would be
quite a treat to devour the newspapn- at one's breakfast, if there were
aUays so maiy good things wrapt up in it.
EPITOME OP THE ENGLISH CLIMATE.
Skating on the Sunday.
Bathing on the Monday.
This was really the case in the Regent's Park two weeks ago.
TO BENEVOLENT MOTHERS.—A Young Widow, not yet 40, is anxious
J- to proceed to California, but is only detained by the hirrowing thought of
leaving ten beloved children behind her. Il is only the idea <>f ihe separation that
grieves her; but if any lady of respectability would take care of them in berabsence,
and premise to treat them as ten of her ow n family, a liberal reward shall be given
on the lady's return from California, and the kindness nyt quickly forgo.ten.
Answers to be sent immediately, stating what toasters and kind of table-beer are
kept, to Mas. Pbinole. Bellevue Villa, Wappln«r,
P.S. They all touch the piano, and are the ouietest little children ever known.