DOI Heft:
January to June, 1849
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16548#0102
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
95
THE TIGHT BETWEEN THE PET OF THE PRESS
AND THE SMITHEIELD CHAMPION.
THE " TOWZERY GANG."
What a thorough-paced sharper and swindler I am ;
What a hand at a hoax, what a genius at bam !
mithfield was yester-' If J- had my deserts I believe I should hang
day the scene' of a With the rest of my fellows, the " Towzery Gang."
mill between Punch (Spoken). We are a set of itinerant drapers, Ladies and Gents,
ol Dleet street, and For testimonials, we refer you to the Drapers' Trade Protection Society
t he Dirty Alderman, We hawk goods about under the authority of the Commissioners of
otherwise the (Smith- Customs and other imaginary pretences. And, ha! ha! for imposition
held Champion), the on the British Public, and injury to the fair trader,
squeaker having un-1
dertaken to fight the | "On Her Majesty's Service," we write on our bills,
Grubbv 'un on his own ' Or, to puff' off our sarceuets, and ginghams, and twills,
ground. It will be With the names of respectable firms we make free—
recollected that the j Of Messieurs II. and J., S. and C, S. and E.
ffpSStoSl.W \8pokm. Agents, Mem, for that celebrated establishment - most
him Hn ffcJvJnLt. eminent house in London, Mem. Never sell any but the most superior
XTnWlW^wS description of goods. We will stake our reputation on the article, Mem.
' 'Spf ! What we h»vett't we can't (ose. Wash, Mem? scrub-
p , 11 r iT like a kitchen floor. If you disapprove of it, you can have it exchanged
i l ~ instantly bv our firm in Town [aside), provided vou can ever find out
eq to case place wllcre it is_
raiH_
ou the day and at,
the locality specified. Kussian ' crushable silks " are an article, too,
Punch was seconded In which we the innocent customer do ;
by a slashing contem-i The warp is all cotton, all silk is the woof;
porary; and his adver- j That the whole is not silk to the sight there's no proof.
sary was waited on by (Spoken). Because, you see, Sirs, the surface looks just as if it was
duett, the meat-sales- silk altogether—sleek as the countenance of this humble individual;
man, and Goadem, the and then, vou know, to complete the deception, we cut the edge, and
fancy drover. Crowds of nobs, including several legislative top-sawyers, ravei ft And so the buyers take the rough with the smooth. Bless
were seen wending their way, at any early hour, in even; description ot V0Uj m this manner we sometimes sell a dress worth but thirty shillings
drag, to the scene of action. A ring was soon formed ot butchers and al fjve ^uineas. That *s the wav to do it, isn't it ?
common-councilmen; the adjoining pens and pig-sties being worthily \
occupied by geniuses of the same kidney, and others who took, a " vested ' But, alas ! there's a danger that threatens our hum ;
interest" in the issue of the fray. For under the Hawker's Act all of us come :
The men, on peeling, displayed a marked difference in condition, the Should you put its provisions against us in force.
Fleet Street lad being evidently much the lighter man; and, as was We should soundly be fined—and be done for, of course,
sagaciously remarked bv several of the bv-standers, the great 'un was, ,e , . v c- »• . , . ■, , .
decidedly the biggest. Twelve rounds were fought in fifteen minutes, J*^1 Y3 we are subject to a en pounds penalty for each
and a smarter quarter-of-an-hour's work was never seen. Punch com- offencf> for putting forth any kind of advertisement without describing
menced his attack on the Alderman's smeller, on which he planted ourselves as licensed hawkers ; whereas, the fact is, that we are a set of
several scientific hits, but to no purpose, that organ being naturally , unucensca numougs.
endowed with a degree of insensibility that rendered the strongest What a thorough-paced sharper, &c.
appeals to it ineffectual. The Alderman retorted by a blow, aimed
below the belt, which, however, did not tell home. Punch, in his turn,
repaid the intended compliment by a smasher on the turtle-trap, pros-
trating his antagonist on mothex Earth ; whence the Alderman, after a j TriATT
.refreshing sprawl, soon arose, deriving, like old Anteus, fresh vigour i A H.LN 1.
from his kindred mud. In the next round the Alderman got Punch's j whoeveu is in Parliament feels an irresistible "desire to speak. It
head in Chancery, and made an attempt at fibbing, much too clumsy to I [g a cruel hw of nature 1o wMch evgrv M p is more or legg gubject>
be successful; after which, Punch neatly doubled him up by a blow in | Qnce u & {i at a Fren(jh par)iamentary banquet, a certain
the Presburgh b scuit-basket. In the Mowing rounds the A derman M6ljBIE^ Lagrange (that was his name) got "up to harangue the
made play at Punch s canister; the latter regularly retaliating by a dig guegts ffi ke for M{ an h6fu. and every one was fairiy tired of
m the ribs. „ .. . , . Lagrange. Persons began to talk loud, then louder, then they coughed,
Throughout the contest the Grubbv un made no attempt at parrying aud fhen lhev g d their feet and rattled tlieir sticks and umbrellas,
and did nothing but counter ; but always hitting wide ol the mark, did but Lagkangb took no notice of these interruptions, and still went on
not apparently inflict• the slightest punishment, 1 ime being called at■ taUdn At lagt a waiter Wag gent to Lagrange to beg of him to sit
the last round, he came up evidently groggy ; and it was clear to all dowQ «< Gentlemen » he ^ « I have paid mv six francs—I have a
■unprejudiced minds that Punch had pretty well cooked his hashed i ri ht to ^ d £ k and accordingly he went on speaking,
venison. _ But here the Alderman s corporate pals rushed in, and broke | wdl $>a{ did thc tg do p wh . they aU got up _some
up the ring, with a cry of Smithhe d to the rescue ! drowning the carried the bottles—some the glasses—the others the dessert—and they
remonstrances of the umpires with shouts, and marrow-bones and all went in a bodv to another room, and enjoyed themselves without
cleavers. They then bore their man off to his carriage, unable to walk ; Lagbange who may still be speaking at the present moment, for what
Ior Punch had, m fact, not left him a leg to stand upon, lie lay tor we know
some time perfectly senseless; and a doctor who felt his pulse, pronounced Now, when Mr. Chisholm Anstey, Mr. Fea.rgus O'Connor,
him all wrong; but after a while the salubrious air ol bmithheld Mr Urquhart, or anv agricultural bore will talk, we advise the House
•partially revived him x . ... , ,. , . , , of Commons to follow the example of the above French banquet. When
It is not expected that he will be disposed to renew the contest; the English Lagrange will not sit down, let all the Members rise ; but
but Punch has expressed his readiness to meet him again any day. ihe msiead 0f adjourning, let some Members seize hold of the red and other
colours of Punch werehis favourite motley; the Alderman s were green b gQme c the tabl md the remainder the Speaker's chair, and
and yellow, with which tints those of .black and blue were tound largely ererything that can conveniently be carried, and remove them, and the
mingled at the conclusion of the encounter., Ihe Alderman had better gitt- al to gome other ^ wliere they can talk amongst them-
go and hide what we should call his diminished head, were it not, m gelveg without fear 0f being interrupted.
truth,, considerably enlarged by the tremendous pummelling it lias i)epend upon itj this new plan of carrying an adjournment would soon
experienced. ' _ J work beneficially, for no Member, however amorous of his own voice.
loves talking when there are no other ears to listen to him but those ol
bare walls.
a doubtful delicacy.
A " Cook and Confectioner," in the Morning Herald, advertises basso-relievo
" Invalid Turtle of the purest quality." Invalid turtle ! What would .
be thought of invalid beef or mutton ? No, no; whatever we eat-fish, The greatest Bass-Rebel is clearly Bass Pale Ale.
6 esh, or fowl-at any rate let it be healthy. °*r Fast YounH
95
THE TIGHT BETWEEN THE PET OF THE PRESS
AND THE SMITHEIELD CHAMPION.
THE " TOWZERY GANG."
What a thorough-paced sharper and swindler I am ;
What a hand at a hoax, what a genius at bam !
mithfield was yester-' If J- had my deserts I believe I should hang
day the scene' of a With the rest of my fellows, the " Towzery Gang."
mill between Punch (Spoken). We are a set of itinerant drapers, Ladies and Gents,
ol Dleet street, and For testimonials, we refer you to the Drapers' Trade Protection Society
t he Dirty Alderman, We hawk goods about under the authority of the Commissioners of
otherwise the (Smith- Customs and other imaginary pretences. And, ha! ha! for imposition
held Champion), the on the British Public, and injury to the fair trader,
squeaker having un-1
dertaken to fight the | "On Her Majesty's Service," we write on our bills,
Grubbv 'un on his own ' Or, to puff' off our sarceuets, and ginghams, and twills,
ground. It will be With the names of respectable firms we make free—
recollected that the j Of Messieurs II. and J., S. and C, S. and E.
ffpSStoSl.W \8pokm. Agents, Mem, for that celebrated establishment - most
him Hn ffcJvJnLt. eminent house in London, Mem. Never sell any but the most superior
XTnWlW^wS description of goods. We will stake our reputation on the article, Mem.
' 'Spf ! What we h»vett't we can't (ose. Wash, Mem? scrub-
p , 11 r iT like a kitchen floor. If you disapprove of it, you can have it exchanged
i l ~ instantly bv our firm in Town [aside), provided vou can ever find out
eq to case place wllcre it is_
raiH_
ou the day and at,
the locality specified. Kussian ' crushable silks " are an article, too,
Punch was seconded In which we the innocent customer do ;
by a slashing contem-i The warp is all cotton, all silk is the woof;
porary; and his adver- j That the whole is not silk to the sight there's no proof.
sary was waited on by (Spoken). Because, you see, Sirs, the surface looks just as if it was
duett, the meat-sales- silk altogether—sleek as the countenance of this humble individual;
man, and Goadem, the and then, vou know, to complete the deception, we cut the edge, and
fancy drover. Crowds of nobs, including several legislative top-sawyers, ravei ft And so the buyers take the rough with the smooth. Bless
were seen wending their way, at any early hour, in even; description ot V0Uj m this manner we sometimes sell a dress worth but thirty shillings
drag, to the scene of action. A ring was soon formed ot butchers and al fjve ^uineas. That *s the wav to do it, isn't it ?
common-councilmen; the adjoining pens and pig-sties being worthily \
occupied by geniuses of the same kidney, and others who took, a " vested ' But, alas ! there's a danger that threatens our hum ;
interest" in the issue of the fray. For under the Hawker's Act all of us come :
The men, on peeling, displayed a marked difference in condition, the Should you put its provisions against us in force.
Fleet Street lad being evidently much the lighter man; and, as was We should soundly be fined—and be done for, of course,
sagaciously remarked bv several of the bv-standers, the great 'un was, ,e , . v c- »• . , . ■, , .
decidedly the biggest. Twelve rounds were fought in fifteen minutes, J*^1 Y3 we are subject to a en pounds penalty for each
and a smarter quarter-of-an-hour's work was never seen. Punch com- offencf> for putting forth any kind of advertisement without describing
menced his attack on the Alderman's smeller, on which he planted ourselves as licensed hawkers ; whereas, the fact is, that we are a set of
several scientific hits, but to no purpose, that organ being naturally , unucensca numougs.
endowed with a degree of insensibility that rendered the strongest What a thorough-paced sharper, &c.
appeals to it ineffectual. The Alderman retorted by a blow, aimed
below the belt, which, however, did not tell home. Punch, in his turn,
repaid the intended compliment by a smasher on the turtle-trap, pros-
trating his antagonist on mothex Earth ; whence the Alderman, after a j TriATT
.refreshing sprawl, soon arose, deriving, like old Anteus, fresh vigour i A H.LN 1.
from his kindred mud. In the next round the Alderman got Punch's j whoeveu is in Parliament feels an irresistible "desire to speak. It
head in Chancery, and made an attempt at fibbing, much too clumsy to I [g a cruel hw of nature 1o wMch evgrv M p is more or legg gubject>
be successful; after which, Punch neatly doubled him up by a blow in | Qnce u & {i at a Fren(jh par)iamentary banquet, a certain
the Presburgh b scuit-basket. In the Mowing rounds the A derman M6ljBIE^ Lagrange (that was his name) got "up to harangue the
made play at Punch s canister; the latter regularly retaliating by a dig guegts ffi ke for M{ an h6fu. and every one was fairiy tired of
m the ribs. „ .. . , . Lagrange. Persons began to talk loud, then louder, then they coughed,
Throughout the contest the Grubbv un made no attempt at parrying aud fhen lhev g d their feet and rattled tlieir sticks and umbrellas,
and did nothing but counter ; but always hitting wide ol the mark, did but Lagkangb took no notice of these interruptions, and still went on
not apparently inflict• the slightest punishment, 1 ime being called at■ taUdn At lagt a waiter Wag gent to Lagrange to beg of him to sit
the last round, he came up evidently groggy ; and it was clear to all dowQ «< Gentlemen » he ^ « I have paid mv six francs—I have a
■unprejudiced minds that Punch had pretty well cooked his hashed i ri ht to ^ d £ k and accordingly he went on speaking,
venison. _ But here the Alderman s corporate pals rushed in, and broke | wdl $>a{ did thc tg do p wh . they aU got up _some
up the ring, with a cry of Smithhe d to the rescue ! drowning the carried the bottles—some the glasses—the others the dessert—and they
remonstrances of the umpires with shouts, and marrow-bones and all went in a bodv to another room, and enjoyed themselves without
cleavers. They then bore their man off to his carriage, unable to walk ; Lagbange who may still be speaking at the present moment, for what
Ior Punch had, m fact, not left him a leg to stand upon, lie lay tor we know
some time perfectly senseless; and a doctor who felt his pulse, pronounced Now, when Mr. Chisholm Anstey, Mr. Fea.rgus O'Connor,
him all wrong; but after a while the salubrious air ol bmithheld Mr Urquhart, or anv agricultural bore will talk, we advise the House
•partially revived him x . ... , ,. , . , , of Commons to follow the example of the above French banquet. When
It is not expected that he will be disposed to renew the contest; the English Lagrange will not sit down, let all the Members rise ; but
but Punch has expressed his readiness to meet him again any day. ihe msiead 0f adjourning, let some Members seize hold of the red and other
colours of Punch werehis favourite motley; the Alderman s were green b gQme c the tabl md the remainder the Speaker's chair, and
and yellow, with which tints those of .black and blue were tound largely ererything that can conveniently be carried, and remove them, and the
mingled at the conclusion of the encounter., Ihe Alderman had better gitt- al to gome other ^ wliere they can talk amongst them-
go and hide what we should call his diminished head, were it not, m gelveg without fear 0f being interrupted.
truth,, considerably enlarged by the tremendous pummelling it lias i)epend upon itj this new plan of carrying an adjournment would soon
experienced. ' _ J work beneficially, for no Member, however amorous of his own voice.
loves talking when there are no other ears to listen to him but those ol
bare walls.
a doubtful delicacy.
A " Cook and Confectioner," in the Morning Herald, advertises basso-relievo
" Invalid Turtle of the purest quality." Invalid turtle ! What would .
be thought of invalid beef or mutton ? No, no; whatever we eat-fish, The greatest Bass-Rebel is clearly Bass Pale Ale.
6 esh, or fowl-at any rate let it be healthy. °*r Fast YounH