Punch (16.1849)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

106

"No, we will not appoint him our General." Some of the wise vizeers said
" Yes, we will appoint him • for without him we shall not have a kingdom
lit all." At last the King himself, who was bajil, that is very fat, rose
up from his throne and said—

" O my Agas, Omrahs, Scribes and men of war. There are many
things which a man has to put into his imamen or pipe, which are hard to
smoke, and have an unsavoury perfume : I have been smoking a chillum
of this sort. A kick is not a pleasant tiling to swallow^neither is a dose
of senna. Adversity sometimes prescribes one, as the Doctor orders the
other. "We have had all our beards pulled, we have been kicked round
the room; we have been tumbled helter-skelter bv this Roostum. Bek-
hesm ! Bisniillah! my sides ache still with the violence of his papooshes.
But what of this? If I am drowning, shall I refuse to live because
a man pulls me out of the water by the nose ? If 1 want to fly, shall I
refuse a horse because he kicks a little ? I will mount him in the name
of Fate, and ride for my life. We know how strong this Samsoon is ;
let him go in Heaven's name, and fight the enemy for us. Let him go.
Make out his papers ; give him a khelat, and a feast of honour !" And
the wise and beneficent monarch sate down and puffed away at his
kaleoon, as the twenty-four vizeers, bowing their heads, cried—" Be it
as the King says."

When the Lngleez heard of this Elemzshedeh, or good news, they all
rejoiced exceedingly ; and the Queen of the lngleez clapped her hands
for joy. , . .

And as for Napeer Singh, he took his two towels, and his piece of
soap, and his scimetar, and he went away to the ship which was to carry
him to the sea.

CALIFORNIA^ RESULTS.

It is beginning to be feared that, in consequence of the arrivals from
California, gold will become a drug, not only m the money, but in every
other market, and the now despised copper farthing will be preferred
to the golden sovereign. v\ e may expect such incidents as that
described in the annexed illustration, where the farthing is an object of
suspicion, on account of possible lightness, or of having been submitted
to the sweating process. Our copper coal-skuttles will be worth more
than their weight in gold, and we shall promote our copper tea-kettles
to the centre of our sideboards, in place of those numerous gold cups
which our public services have caused to be showered down upon us.
In periods of panic the cry of " Run for gold ! " will be converted into
" Ely for warming-pans ! " or " Rush for coal-scoops! "—for these will in
future form the bullion, so precious to the Bank and the public in
general.

A Military Economist.—Loud Gotjgh is the greatest military
economist of the age, for by his operations in India he has carried
into practice the principle of reducing the Army to an extent almost
without precedent.

THE BEGGAR AT THE GATE.

A Beggar maid crouches at England's door;

Squalid and sad she crouches there alway,
Shivering, unsheltered, thro' the winter frore,

Scorching, unshaded, thro' the summer day.

The sun comes up upon that beggar's hir,
^ Her gaunt and grasping hand, her rags of green;
The sun goes down upon that beggar's stare,
All listless, save when stirred by hunger keen.

An idle spade is lying at her feet,

An idle distaff broken on her knee ;
But in her wail mingle soft notes and sweet,

And thro' her woe break flashes of strange glee.

She is not, sure, a beggar born, for pride
Momently lights that face all shrunk and scarred;

'Tis a gaunt skeleton of strength untried,
A wreck of beauty, sore misused and marred.

She might be one of ancient race and strong,

Fallen to fate of harlot and of thrall,
In whom doth jostle memory of wrong

And bitter hopelessness, and hopes of gall.

And as forth fares proud England, dav by day,

For toil or traffic, pleasure or parade,
Still doth she find this beggar in the way,

Like Lazarus at Dives' portal laid.

Still that gaunt hand is on her robe of pall,
That hollow voice in her unwilling ear,

And ceaseless still that cry for bread doth fall,
Which, hunger-prompted, heart of stone must hear.

Nor Bity only bends her to the crv,

She knows that desperate wretchedness is mad;
'Tis easy raising fire, the means hard bv,

And treasonous poison may be cheaply had.

And she is rich, and richer fain would be ;

And beggar drudges work for scanty pay ;
The pauper's dole for paupers bait may be,

Whence better fed and clad would turn away.

So day by day the beggar's dole is given
With grudge and grumble, ling'ringly and loath—

A charity without that gracious leaven
Which blesseth giver and receiver both.

Every such gift the giver leaves more hard,
And the receiver more unthankful finds;

By acts which should unite is union barred,
And Bity chafes the sore, e'en as it binds.

This should not last—and must not—neither can ;

Oh England, lift this beggar-maid forlorn,
Leaving on one, with heart and right of man,

No curse save that whereunto man was born,—

In the brow's sweat to earn the needful bread j
Strengthen those feeble hands to dig and spin,

Till listless, lazy Pauperdom be fled,
And the day's wTork its fair day's wage shall win.

What interest urges, urges also love:
Let England to that beggar stoop her knee,

Lift up her rags, her matted hair remove,
And in that squalid maid a sister see !

Sister, that but step-sister's lot hath known ;

Sister, that oft has cursed, and struck, and striven;
Sister, that hath, as England's self must owm

Much to forgive—as much to be forgiven.

All Alive.

We see a gentleman was presented to Her Majesty at the Levee,
" on his return from Ireland." Is there anything very arduous in going
to Ireland ? Is there anything very wonderful in a gentleman returning
from it ? We put these questions with the greatest caution, for really
it would seem, from the above presentation, that it was altogether a
service of the most imminent danger. If that is to be the established
qualification, Yan Ambtjrgh ought to be presented at the very next
Levee, for he puts his head in the lion's mouth every day of his life.

irish prejudice.

The opposition to the Irish Rate-in-Aid Bill is not to be wondered
at. Unless it had been proposed to levy the rate on England, every
one might have foreseen that the Lish would be displeased at any rate.