DOI issue:
January to June, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16548#0114
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
107
FASHIONABLE HOBBIES.
omehow or the other, young
ladies must have a Hobby. At
one time it is a Chatelaine ; at
another it is Tom Thumb ; or
a monster Brooch as big as a
cheese-plate; or an Album,
with which they stop every
young gentleman, no matter
whether he has turned-down
collars or not, and call upon
him to " Stand and deliver " a
copy of verses, or a Sonnet, or
an Autograph, or to take the
book home with him for an
Impromptu. At present, the
female Hobby is an old post-
age-stamp—a small thing, the
reader will say, for a young
lady to run away with, but one
which carries her, at certain
mad times, to the greatest ab-
surdities. You can hardly step into a drawing-room without being
stopped for old postage-stamps. Sometimes it is for papering a room;
sometimes it is to oblige a lady, whose Draco of a papa will not let her
marry before she has collected a million postage-stamps : which fact was
lately announced in the newspapers as having actually occurred.
Whether this fearful feat of strength was ever accomplished, the
female literature of our country,—whether you refer to the Char-
women of England, or look into the Grandmother's Magazine—most
shamefully fails to tell us. What the use of a million old postage-
stamps could have been to the papa, when he got them, is a profound
mystery, unless he had some great specific for making them as good as
new, or had an absurd ambition of dying what is called a millionnaire,
and determined to do the thing to the very letter. This new branch,
however, of the begging profession may bring some little increase to
our impoverished revenue. The Postmaster-General might advertise
for tenders for old postage-stamps ; and, as the number of dead letters
amount to a few millions hi the course of a year, no difficulty would
be experienced in having a sufficient supply to meet the extraordinary
demand. The result should be advertised in the papers: and we would
not mind, for once in the way, throwing open our valuable pages to an
announcement so important as the following :—
" Government Contract.—The Government contract for 1,000,000
old postage-stamps was taken yesterday by Miss Sabrina Wright, of
Russell Square. The amount, which was the highest tender ever yet
offered, being at the rate of Is. \\d. per 100, has been paid over to the
Chancellor of the Exchequer. We congratulate the country upon
this decided improvement of its financial resources."
And then, in another part of our paper, we would, just for the
curiosity of the thing, publish to the world the following palpitating
event amongst the
"Fashionable Marriages.—"Yesterday ,was celebrated at St.George's
the marriage between Miss Sabrina Wright, the acknowledged belle
of Russell Square, and the Hon. Captain Alfred Paddington, related
to the celebrated Paddingtons, of Canal and Company. Previous
to the interesting event, the lovely bride retired to the vestry-room
with her opulent parent, and handed over to him one million postage-
stamps, which it had been her unremitting study for the last six years
to collect from all quarters of the habitable globe. As four hours were
consumed in counting this million postage-stamps, a little delay neces-
sarily occurred in the solemnization of the happy ceremony; but the
gallant bridegroom during the interval behaved remarkably well, and
did not exhibit the smallest sign of impatience beyond yawning once
or twice. We hear that a large fortune was dependent upon the
accurate number of the postage-stamps."
Who knows! announcements like the above may soon appear in the
papers, if this hobby for hunting down old postage-stamps is still run to
death in fashionable circles. As for ourselves, we beg to assure all
young ladies, that we have promised to give away every head we have
for the next five years to come.
continue it. We understand that Mr. Briefless has offered to repeat
his lectures in the Hall of the Middle Temple, to the " one pupil,"
whoever he may be; for the learned gentleman in question is accus
tomed to the concentration of his energies on a single student, and
will undertake to get him up in any or every branch of the law at the
shortest notice.
THE RUINED ELMS; OR, THE LAMENT OF THE LASS
OF RICHMOND HELL.
"We regret to record the partial destruction of the magnificent Elmg oa Richmond
Terrace. We understand those noble trees hare been mutilated by order of the
West Sheen Vestry."—Evening Paper:
I'll tell you of a ruthless deed;
And, had I power, as I have will,
Its authors should receive their meed.
As I'm the Lass of Richmond Hill.
Know ye the Terrace Elms, that long
Have crown'd the height, where, blooming still,
Immortalised in gentle song,
I dwell—the Lass of Richmond Hill ?
Those noble trees are pollards now ;
I felt each nerve and fibre thrill,
While wretches lopp'd them, trunk and bough,
Wounding the Lass of Richmond Hill.
What butcherly, barbarian hand
Could do this brutish work of ill ?
Whose clay-cold heart the ruin plann'd—
Hear, from the Lass of Richmond Hill.
Lt was, in truth, a butcher's act,
'Twas his the rising sap to spill,
By West Sheen's muddy Vestry back'd—
Believe the Lass of Richmond Hill.
When ye despoiled this lovely scene,
Had ye no tender lambs to kill ?
Answer, ye savages of Sheen,
Ah! tell the Lass of Richmond Hill.
VICTUALS AND DRINK.
PREPARATION FOR THE BAR
It is a somewhat discouraging fact, that the Benchers < f the Middle
Temple, after doing tbeir best to make arrangements for the legal
education of their students, and engaging a first-rate lecturer, were
only able to attract one pupil to the banquet of enlightenment. This
tete-a-tete between the master and the disciple was found very embar-
rassing to both parties, and the Benchers resolved reluctantly to dis-
Some attempts are being made to supply the Metropolis with pure
water, in lieu of that which is now laid on so uncommonly thick to the
inhabitants of London and the suburbs. Those Members of Parlia-
ment who advocated the vested interests of what are usually called the
Water Monopolies, lost sight of an argument which might have been
fairly used in favour of the old-established concerns, on the ground of
their supplying to their customers a full-bodied liquid, in which are
included not only an ordinary drinkable but a variety of eatables, pos-
sessed of numerous flavours and qualities. Any one who is at all
acquainted with the internal economy of his own cistern, will be aware
that the depositions of all sorts of matter are so abundant, that there
can be no lack of evidence—when these depositions are carefully
examined—of the richness of the fluids supplied by the Water Com-
panies.
If we desired to extemporise a dish of small fish, we should only draw
off a pint or two of water, hap-hazard, into one of our saucepans, allow
it to boil in the ordinary course, and, straining the whole through a sieve,
dish up the residue as a plat de poisson—chemists might call it poison—ol
an average character. No wonder that water is found so nutritive of
itself, when we get it impregnated with so much animal food, without
any charge being made for it by the collector of the water-rate.
We would advise the established Companies to hegin to advertise the
fact as a point in their favour, instead of allowing it to be used any
longer as an argument against them. We scarcely require soup kitchens
¥Men we can get a thick, substantial potage a la Thames, supplied to us
nt a compaiatively trifling expense ; and when the animalculse are not
quite so abundant as usual, the Battersea bulrushes serve to impart a
vegetable flavour, which renders the mixture a very respectable sort of
J ulien.
The application of the filtering process seems to be an act of waste,
for it is calculated to separate the most nutritious particles of the
mixture from the mixture itself, and these contrivances, instead of being
encouraged, should perhaps rather be condemned, as neutralising the
solidity of the Thames water, when regarded as a substitute for other
diet. We presume that the above considerations weigh with those
persons who so zealously advocate the interests of the existing Com-
panies, and look upon any scheme for the supply of pure water as purely
superfluous.
107
FASHIONABLE HOBBIES.
omehow or the other, young
ladies must have a Hobby. At
one time it is a Chatelaine ; at
another it is Tom Thumb ; or
a monster Brooch as big as a
cheese-plate; or an Album,
with which they stop every
young gentleman, no matter
whether he has turned-down
collars or not, and call upon
him to " Stand and deliver " a
copy of verses, or a Sonnet, or
an Autograph, or to take the
book home with him for an
Impromptu. At present, the
female Hobby is an old post-
age-stamp—a small thing, the
reader will say, for a young
lady to run away with, but one
which carries her, at certain
mad times, to the greatest ab-
surdities. You can hardly step into a drawing-room without being
stopped for old postage-stamps. Sometimes it is for papering a room;
sometimes it is to oblige a lady, whose Draco of a papa will not let her
marry before she has collected a million postage-stamps : which fact was
lately announced in the newspapers as having actually occurred.
Whether this fearful feat of strength was ever accomplished, the
female literature of our country,—whether you refer to the Char-
women of England, or look into the Grandmother's Magazine—most
shamefully fails to tell us. What the use of a million old postage-
stamps could have been to the papa, when he got them, is a profound
mystery, unless he had some great specific for making them as good as
new, or had an absurd ambition of dying what is called a millionnaire,
and determined to do the thing to the very letter. This new branch,
however, of the begging profession may bring some little increase to
our impoverished revenue. The Postmaster-General might advertise
for tenders for old postage-stamps ; and, as the number of dead letters
amount to a few millions hi the course of a year, no difficulty would
be experienced in having a sufficient supply to meet the extraordinary
demand. The result should be advertised in the papers: and we would
not mind, for once in the way, throwing open our valuable pages to an
announcement so important as the following :—
" Government Contract.—The Government contract for 1,000,000
old postage-stamps was taken yesterday by Miss Sabrina Wright, of
Russell Square. The amount, which was the highest tender ever yet
offered, being at the rate of Is. \\d. per 100, has been paid over to the
Chancellor of the Exchequer. We congratulate the country upon
this decided improvement of its financial resources."
And then, in another part of our paper, we would, just for the
curiosity of the thing, publish to the world the following palpitating
event amongst the
"Fashionable Marriages.—"Yesterday ,was celebrated at St.George's
the marriage between Miss Sabrina Wright, the acknowledged belle
of Russell Square, and the Hon. Captain Alfred Paddington, related
to the celebrated Paddingtons, of Canal and Company. Previous
to the interesting event, the lovely bride retired to the vestry-room
with her opulent parent, and handed over to him one million postage-
stamps, which it had been her unremitting study for the last six years
to collect from all quarters of the habitable globe. As four hours were
consumed in counting this million postage-stamps, a little delay neces-
sarily occurred in the solemnization of the happy ceremony; but the
gallant bridegroom during the interval behaved remarkably well, and
did not exhibit the smallest sign of impatience beyond yawning once
or twice. We hear that a large fortune was dependent upon the
accurate number of the postage-stamps."
Who knows! announcements like the above may soon appear in the
papers, if this hobby for hunting down old postage-stamps is still run to
death in fashionable circles. As for ourselves, we beg to assure all
young ladies, that we have promised to give away every head we have
for the next five years to come.
continue it. We understand that Mr. Briefless has offered to repeat
his lectures in the Hall of the Middle Temple, to the " one pupil,"
whoever he may be; for the learned gentleman in question is accus
tomed to the concentration of his energies on a single student, and
will undertake to get him up in any or every branch of the law at the
shortest notice.
THE RUINED ELMS; OR, THE LAMENT OF THE LASS
OF RICHMOND HELL.
"We regret to record the partial destruction of the magnificent Elmg oa Richmond
Terrace. We understand those noble trees hare been mutilated by order of the
West Sheen Vestry."—Evening Paper:
I'll tell you of a ruthless deed;
And, had I power, as I have will,
Its authors should receive their meed.
As I'm the Lass of Richmond Hill.
Know ye the Terrace Elms, that long
Have crown'd the height, where, blooming still,
Immortalised in gentle song,
I dwell—the Lass of Richmond Hill ?
Those noble trees are pollards now ;
I felt each nerve and fibre thrill,
While wretches lopp'd them, trunk and bough,
Wounding the Lass of Richmond Hill.
What butcherly, barbarian hand
Could do this brutish work of ill ?
Whose clay-cold heart the ruin plann'd—
Hear, from the Lass of Richmond Hill.
Lt was, in truth, a butcher's act,
'Twas his the rising sap to spill,
By West Sheen's muddy Vestry back'd—
Believe the Lass of Richmond Hill.
When ye despoiled this lovely scene,
Had ye no tender lambs to kill ?
Answer, ye savages of Sheen,
Ah! tell the Lass of Richmond Hill.
VICTUALS AND DRINK.
PREPARATION FOR THE BAR
It is a somewhat discouraging fact, that the Benchers < f the Middle
Temple, after doing tbeir best to make arrangements for the legal
education of their students, and engaging a first-rate lecturer, were
only able to attract one pupil to the banquet of enlightenment. This
tete-a-tete between the master and the disciple was found very embar-
rassing to both parties, and the Benchers resolved reluctantly to dis-
Some attempts are being made to supply the Metropolis with pure
water, in lieu of that which is now laid on so uncommonly thick to the
inhabitants of London and the suburbs. Those Members of Parlia-
ment who advocated the vested interests of what are usually called the
Water Monopolies, lost sight of an argument which might have been
fairly used in favour of the old-established concerns, on the ground of
their supplying to their customers a full-bodied liquid, in which are
included not only an ordinary drinkable but a variety of eatables, pos-
sessed of numerous flavours and qualities. Any one who is at all
acquainted with the internal economy of his own cistern, will be aware
that the depositions of all sorts of matter are so abundant, that there
can be no lack of evidence—when these depositions are carefully
examined—of the richness of the fluids supplied by the Water Com-
panies.
If we desired to extemporise a dish of small fish, we should only draw
off a pint or two of water, hap-hazard, into one of our saucepans, allow
it to boil in the ordinary course, and, straining the whole through a sieve,
dish up the residue as a plat de poisson—chemists might call it poison—ol
an average character. No wonder that water is found so nutritive of
itself, when we get it impregnated with so much animal food, without
any charge being made for it by the collector of the water-rate.
We would advise the established Companies to hegin to advertise the
fact as a point in their favour, instead of allowing it to be used any
longer as an argument against them. We scarcely require soup kitchens
¥Men we can get a thick, substantial potage a la Thames, supplied to us
nt a compaiatively trifling expense ; and when the animalculse are not
quite so abundant as usual, the Battersea bulrushes serve to impart a
vegetable flavour, which renders the mixture a very respectable sort of
J ulien.
The application of the filtering process seems to be an act of waste,
for it is calculated to separate the most nutritious particles of the
mixture from the mixture itself, and these contrivances, instead of being
encouraged, should perhaps rather be condemned, as neutralising the
solidity of the Thames water, when regarded as a substitute for other
diet. We presume that the above considerations weigh with those
persons who so zealously advocate the interests of the existing Com-
panies, and look upon any scheme for the supply of pure water as purely
superfluous.