DOI Heft:
January to June, 1849
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16548#0174
PUNCH, OR HIE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE SEA SERPENT IN A FOG-
(By a Contributor half-seas over.)
"DeaB-M*. Punch,—Allow me to add, through the medium of your
valuable columns, my own testimony to that of the many highly respectable
parties who have vouched for the actual existence of the Sea Serpent.
I am an inhabitant of Cheapside, Sir, and engaged in mercantile pursuit s,
which, I hope, will furnish an excuse for any mistake that I may make
in the use of nautical terms. On Monday evening last I was returning
from Heme Bay in the City of Canterbury Steamer, having just dined, half-
past 6 p.m., and three sheets in the wind. On looking over the stern part
of the vessel, sight hazy, and a strong South-wester blowing the smoke
from my cigar right in my face, I discerned a long floating object, which
appeared to be following the vessel at the distance of about eight feet.
About two yards of the head and neck of the animal, if animal it were,
appeared above water; the tail, or what I took for it, was beneath the
surface, and may have extended a quarter of a mile, or, indeed, to any
distance. I was instantly impressed with the belief, which 1 still retain,
that the creature M as no other than the veritable Sea Serpent. All I
know is, that it very closely resembled the likeness of the nondescript
which appeared last week but one in the Illustrated News, as the sub-
joined sketch of it, made by an artist on board, will prove ; although
when I imparted my impression respecting it to the steersman, lie
observed (if I recollect rightly) that he considered it rather—indeed, I
think he said very—like a whale.
" Yours, Bowtbell."
A REGULAR PALMERSTON.
A Dispatch was addressed to Lord Palmerston from the Danish
Government. It was a Dispatch— one that asked to be dispatched in
undiplomatic double quick time. It came on the 26th of March; it
authorised Lord Palmerston to make an offer to the Prussian
Minister ; and, failing an answer, announced that the first (cannon) ball
should be given on the 29th. Three days for a diplomatic arrangement!
It was like trying to put Banvard's Panorama into a Portfolio.
The note was mislaid. Serve it right. It did not come through " the
regular channel-" and such accidents will teach people to stick to
"the regular channel;" the line of which is staked out with the
Downing Street post and rail of official sealing-wax and red tape.
Lord Palmerston onlv sent the note to the Prussian Minister on
PREMATURE DECEASE OF ANOTHER BILL.
The poor little Turnpike Trusts Bill, which had painfully struggled
through its first stage of infancv, thanks to the skilful nursing of
Mb. G. C. Lewis, expired on Wednesday se'nnight, without any signs
of regret being shown by its unnatural parent, Sir George Grey.
He even seemed to take a fiendish pleasure in pointing out the universal
dislike his poor infant had inspired, and cheerfully said as much as that
he had never expected it to survive the Session.
Lokd John Russell's family of Ministers seem to be getting
hardened against all natural feeling, by the great mortality among their
little Bills, which seems due, in a great measure, to the carelessness or
feebleness of their parents and nurses.
It is hardly expected, by those who are best informed, that the
the 29th, the day for which the War was positively announced and the Navigation b;u w'in got through its next reading. And it is confidently
Danes receiving no answer, kept their promise—not liking to be treated asserted, that even if it do, it cannot survive a removal lo Hie House
of Lords, to which the poor thing will of course be sent; although the
air of the place is certain to be prejudicial to the unhappy Bill, and will
probably be fatal to it. If Lord John and his Ministerial family cannot
rear their legislative offspring, they might at least have t he decency to
with something that looked like disdain
Loud Palmerston's excuse is capital and characteristic. _ The
" accident " did take place. It was not that Prussia wouldn't deign an
answer, or that Palmerston wouldn't answer a Dane. It was all
along ofthe irregularity of /'the channel." But, says Palmerston ; put on m0uormn? for them," and 'look decorously melancholy as they
pleasantly, pick-toothishly, it really makes no matter. Prussia would , f0uow them to their Ions home under the table
have declined the proposal had it reached her m time, and the VVarj
would have come off exactly as it did, had the Dispatch been delivered I ___.
on the 26th.
Possibly! But suppose the proposal had been accepted? Lord i tl , ,
Palmerston knew nothing of the contents of the Dispatch. The "K s sUM>> UE s SAVE
Danish note, like Robert-Houdin's Port folio, might have had a dove jusx before t he adjournment of the Rate in Aid Debate, Colonel
inside of it, with an olive branch in its beak : and the poor bird would Dunne startled the House, by saving, " Gentlemen, / am in the hamh
have been smothered, and the Elbe blockaded, and the Gefion taken, of the Irish Members" An involuntary groan issued from everyone—
and the noble Christian the Eiohth blown up, which is lamentable, business was suspended—and the Colonel was given up as irretrievably
and Lord Palmerston himself blown up, which is less serious—all iost; for it was too well known that the Irish Members never get anv-
along of those three days' mislaying. thing into their hands in Parliament, but the result is sure to bc fatal,
----- ------ and nothing is ever seen of it afterwards. By some strange accident,
however, the Colonel escaped, for he was "out of hand" the following
Literature in America. ; evening, and was warmly congratulated by all his friends. We will be
The New York correspondent of the Daily News declares that , boimd'several of the Irish Members wish they cotHc! escape as easily,
Macatjlay's History has been " re-published in four different shapes, j as often as they find themselves m the hands of a Dunne.
and is in every one's hand." Hereupon the correspondent rejoices, j ____
saying :—
" We cannot be a very stupid people when we prize Shakspeare next to the Bible,
and know Macaolay ' like a book.' "
Thieves are not very stupid thieves, when they invariably lay their
hands upon moveables of the highest value. By the way, the Cincinnati
Times says that Powers, the great sculptor, is "now engaged on
America, a national statue : " and then adds, " we are not at liberty to
describe the statue." Punch,however, is bound by no such restraint. The
America, typifying the intellectual genius of the country, is this —
" The Colossal Figure of an American Bookseller, Picking the Pocket of an
English Author." The innocence of the act is further set forth in dove-
coloured marble.
The Kate in Aid.
When Lord John Russell attempted to ascertain (he wishes of
the Irish Members, and get the benefit of their advice, they showed a
disposition to begin rating him, though having a strong objection to be
rated themselves. It was assuredly a very bold idea to think of getting
an opinion out of a body of Irishmen, and the feat of looking/for a needle
in a bottle of hay would be simple indeed in comparison with such an
achievement. The Premier required an opinion of them, but it was
impossible to have any opinion of them—in their polit ical capacity—for
it was quite evident they had no opinion of themselves.
THE SEA SERPENT IN A FOG-
(By a Contributor half-seas over.)
"DeaB-M*. Punch,—Allow me to add, through the medium of your
valuable columns, my own testimony to that of the many highly respectable
parties who have vouched for the actual existence of the Sea Serpent.
I am an inhabitant of Cheapside, Sir, and engaged in mercantile pursuit s,
which, I hope, will furnish an excuse for any mistake that I may make
in the use of nautical terms. On Monday evening last I was returning
from Heme Bay in the City of Canterbury Steamer, having just dined, half-
past 6 p.m., and three sheets in the wind. On looking over the stern part
of the vessel, sight hazy, and a strong South-wester blowing the smoke
from my cigar right in my face, I discerned a long floating object, which
appeared to be following the vessel at the distance of about eight feet.
About two yards of the head and neck of the animal, if animal it were,
appeared above water; the tail, or what I took for it, was beneath the
surface, and may have extended a quarter of a mile, or, indeed, to any
distance. I was instantly impressed with the belief, which 1 still retain,
that the creature M as no other than the veritable Sea Serpent. All I
know is, that it very closely resembled the likeness of the nondescript
which appeared last week but one in the Illustrated News, as the sub-
joined sketch of it, made by an artist on board, will prove ; although
when I imparted my impression respecting it to the steersman, lie
observed (if I recollect rightly) that he considered it rather—indeed, I
think he said very—like a whale.
" Yours, Bowtbell."
A REGULAR PALMERSTON.
A Dispatch was addressed to Lord Palmerston from the Danish
Government. It was a Dispatch— one that asked to be dispatched in
undiplomatic double quick time. It came on the 26th of March; it
authorised Lord Palmerston to make an offer to the Prussian
Minister ; and, failing an answer, announced that the first (cannon) ball
should be given on the 29th. Three days for a diplomatic arrangement!
It was like trying to put Banvard's Panorama into a Portfolio.
The note was mislaid. Serve it right. It did not come through " the
regular channel-" and such accidents will teach people to stick to
"the regular channel;" the line of which is staked out with the
Downing Street post and rail of official sealing-wax and red tape.
Lord Palmerston onlv sent the note to the Prussian Minister on
PREMATURE DECEASE OF ANOTHER BILL.
The poor little Turnpike Trusts Bill, which had painfully struggled
through its first stage of infancv, thanks to the skilful nursing of
Mb. G. C. Lewis, expired on Wednesday se'nnight, without any signs
of regret being shown by its unnatural parent, Sir George Grey.
He even seemed to take a fiendish pleasure in pointing out the universal
dislike his poor infant had inspired, and cheerfully said as much as that
he had never expected it to survive the Session.
Lokd John Russell's family of Ministers seem to be getting
hardened against all natural feeling, by the great mortality among their
little Bills, which seems due, in a great measure, to the carelessness or
feebleness of their parents and nurses.
It is hardly expected, by those who are best informed, that the
the 29th, the day for which the War was positively announced and the Navigation b;u w'in got through its next reading. And it is confidently
Danes receiving no answer, kept their promise—not liking to be treated asserted, that even if it do, it cannot survive a removal lo Hie House
of Lords, to which the poor thing will of course be sent; although the
air of the place is certain to be prejudicial to the unhappy Bill, and will
probably be fatal to it. If Lord John and his Ministerial family cannot
rear their legislative offspring, they might at least have t he decency to
with something that looked like disdain
Loud Palmerston's excuse is capital and characteristic. _ The
" accident " did take place. It was not that Prussia wouldn't deign an
answer, or that Palmerston wouldn't answer a Dane. It was all
along ofthe irregularity of /'the channel." But, says Palmerston ; put on m0uormn? for them," and 'look decorously melancholy as they
pleasantly, pick-toothishly, it really makes no matter. Prussia would , f0uow them to their Ions home under the table
have declined the proposal had it reached her m time, and the VVarj
would have come off exactly as it did, had the Dispatch been delivered I ___.
on the 26th.
Possibly! But suppose the proposal had been accepted? Lord i tl , ,
Palmerston knew nothing of the contents of the Dispatch. The "K s sUM>> UE s SAVE
Danish note, like Robert-Houdin's Port folio, might have had a dove jusx before t he adjournment of the Rate in Aid Debate, Colonel
inside of it, with an olive branch in its beak : and the poor bird would Dunne startled the House, by saving, " Gentlemen, / am in the hamh
have been smothered, and the Elbe blockaded, and the Gefion taken, of the Irish Members" An involuntary groan issued from everyone—
and the noble Christian the Eiohth blown up, which is lamentable, business was suspended—and the Colonel was given up as irretrievably
and Lord Palmerston himself blown up, which is less serious—all iost; for it was too well known that the Irish Members never get anv-
along of those three days' mislaying. thing into their hands in Parliament, but the result is sure to bc fatal,
----- ------ and nothing is ever seen of it afterwards. By some strange accident,
however, the Colonel escaped, for he was "out of hand" the following
Literature in America. ; evening, and was warmly congratulated by all his friends. We will be
The New York correspondent of the Daily News declares that , boimd'several of the Irish Members wish they cotHc! escape as easily,
Macatjlay's History has been " re-published in four different shapes, j as often as they find themselves m the hands of a Dunne.
and is in every one's hand." Hereupon the correspondent rejoices, j ____
saying :—
" We cannot be a very stupid people when we prize Shakspeare next to the Bible,
and know Macaolay ' like a book.' "
Thieves are not very stupid thieves, when they invariably lay their
hands upon moveables of the highest value. By the way, the Cincinnati
Times says that Powers, the great sculptor, is "now engaged on
America, a national statue : " and then adds, " we are not at liberty to
describe the statue." Punch,however, is bound by no such restraint. The
America, typifying the intellectual genius of the country, is this —
" The Colossal Figure of an American Bookseller, Picking the Pocket of an
English Author." The innocence of the act is further set forth in dove-
coloured marble.
The Kate in Aid.
When Lord John Russell attempted to ascertain (he wishes of
the Irish Members, and get the benefit of their advice, they showed a
disposition to begin rating him, though having a strong objection to be
rated themselves. It was assuredly a very bold idea to think of getting
an opinion out of a body of Irishmen, and the feat of looking/for a needle
in a bottle of hay would be simple indeed in comparison with such an
achievement. The Premier required an opinion of them, but it was
impossible to have any opinion of them—in their polit ical capacity—for
it was quite evident they had no opinion of themselves.