DOI issue:
July to December, 1849
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16604#0171
PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
150
JOHN O'CONNELL CAPPED. A THAMES DRINKING SONG.
ohn O'Connell, in tlie pardonable belief that at Away to the cistern, each thirsty soul,
least the eyes of all the potatoes of Ireland would And set the tap a-going,
While murkily imo the dingy bowl
The stream is thickly flowing !
If sorrow we cannot always drown,
From our sight we can always thrust it;
The filth in the water will keep it down,
And the sediment will o'ercrust it.
Then hey for the cistern, each thirsty soul,
And bury your cares in the mud-girt bowl!
be immediately upon him, departed a few days
since for Dublin to open Irreconciliation Hall, for
the purpose of becoming money-taker in the cause
of Repeal. The learned and eloquent gentleman
had made every necessary preparation. " The first
flower of the earth" was renovated fresh as a daisy.
"The first gem of the sea" was reset in native
metal. The Duke of Wellington, from the
Horse-Guards, cast an anxious look towards Ire-
land. Evervbodv expected new Monster Meetings, Le* revellers boast of their choicest wme,
and new Meetings of M onst ers. Well, Mb. John ,oi- fn • u thT ,rluk ^ K ■
O'Connell has shown himself in Dublin, but, lor h**ot, 80 rifuh as this hquor of mme,
some days past, the learned gentleman has not been ! ™W^atever they may think it;
visible to the naked eye. It, is, nevertheless, believed that he is still in I b°f1 ol lts y' b™. (??me.and- ,see
Ireland. Great anxiety has been manifested for his whereabout by an ! -_ \™ ^P^s and impartially view it;
extensive circle of at least a dozen friends; and it is hoped that his wu°. !i' . ' _ llm V
abiding-place is known, though up to the present time he has not been While the dogs and the cats run through it.
discovered 1 hen hey for the luscious lhames ! I swear,
The following mysterious account has been given (privately before a Ir y°u lookfor body, you '11 find it there,
magistrate) by Tim Hoolaghan, servant of Mb,. O'Connell. The ______________
man deposed that the last time he saw his master, he desired him to i
bring the Repale Cap of the Liberator—the Cap presented at Tara— ' tmcda-rttv \-\irr\-\jn mnTinr-q
that, before John went to the Hall to make a mighty splash, he might Ulb±_Ull AMUJN _ l__VJ_b.
try it on, and have it taken in, if at all too big for him.—That M k. John J " Mr Punch,
O'Connell, approaching a mighty big glass, put, on the cap, which on j "I am just come out of the House of Correction, where I have
the sudden seemed, to grow as big almost as the great lantern of the been for two months, for nothing more than just taking a pocket-hand-
Four Courts, covering him intirely.—That lie heard his master crying to kerchief—not worth more than twopence, if truth's anything in this
be taken "out, of that," as the cap was smothering him- that he world—from the pocket of a ticket-porter. Two months, Mr. Punch,
(Tim) cried to Biddy Delaney (the housemaid) to come and help him; j and harder oakum I never picked.
that, between themselves, they pulled off the cap, but they could not, ! "Well, I 'ye just read the newspaper at the Barrington Arms. And
with all their eyes, find the masther at all at, all. j there I find sixteen tradesmen all convicted of robbing their customers.
Biddy Delaney corroborated the evidence of Tim. j And are they sent, to the stone jug r Not a bit of it. They pay their
The Liberator's cap, collapsed to its usual size, was handed to the \ money for their right to rob, because they pick pockets—not in the
magistrate; Biddy Delaney declaring, upon her word and honour, streets—b"t, like respectable householders, behind a counter,
that her n asther was in it still; bewiiched into the smallest taste in ! "One baker in Old-street, St. Luke's, has a 'piece of lead' under
life of a Liberator by the cap ot Daniel. j his scales, which chisels the customer out of 'an ounce and a half.'
The cap was carefully examined, but, the naked eye could not discover \ The baker is ' severely censured, fined 40 .,' and sent about his busi-
Me. John O'Connell. Nevertheless, Tim declared he heard him | ness—his business beinsr. to chisel again.
somewhere in the lining, crying in the smallest of the small voice of one ' "A pork-butcher of Clerkenwell (near my own House of Correction)
of the good people— ; has an ' illegal balance ' and five light weights. He is 'fined 20s., and
" Hereditary bondsmen! know ye not," &c. cautioned.' Now I wasn't cautioned, but locked up
_., , . , . , , . r _ • Achandhr has a hallpennv concealed m some fat under a scale,that
Silence being ordered m the court, the worthy magistrate listening , cnouses his customer of lawful weight, and he pays 20s. for it. I only con-
with the acute ear of justice, said he believed he heard him too
Whereupon, it was suggested that the cap should be examined with
a microscope, that—if really in the cap—the present Liberator might be
manifested to all Ireland.
At the lime of our going to press, no microscope had been procured.
However, let the matter end as it will, the story should be a warning to
cealed a handkei chief, and I got, two months. But see what, it is to rob
with a comfortable root over your head, and not to be obliged to pick
pockets whether it rains or shines.
" Well, sir, feeling how wicked I've been, and how I should like to
reform my ways, would you open a little subscription for me at your
office, to put a penitent, up in a small way of business ?—say thechand-
all pigmies not to meddle with the caps of giants. Smothering is the j jery green-grocery line, in which I might follow the'bent of my mind,
least that comes of it. ! wif.l_ no fear of the stone jug and oakum.
'I am your's to command,
SANITARY STREET NOMENCLATURE.
The names of our London streets exhibit a disgraceful tautology.
We are afraid to say how many Peter Streets, John Streets, and, above
all, Wellington Streets there are in the metropolis. Let this fault be
amended. Let the streets be called by their proper names ; that is to
sav, at present, by the various nuisances or diseases which inlest or
pollute them, respectively. As, Open Sewer Street; Gully Hole
Court; Slaughter House Buildings ; Shambles Place ; Knacker's Yard ;
Grave Yard Crescent; Charnel Square; Typhus Terrace; Scarla'ina's
Rents; Intermittent Kow; Consumption Alley j Scrofula Lane;
Cachexy Corner. Let such, at least, be the provisional nomenclature
of the streets of London, till this filthy capital shall have bren properly
drained and watered ; shall have had its churchyards closed, its atmos-
phere disinfected, and plague and pestilence expelled from its habitations.
a sinking fund with a vengeance.
Me. Disraeli advocates a sinking fund; but were the honourable
gentleman's financial schemes adopted, it, is to be feared that the fund
which would assume a sinking character would be the National Income.
binding on austeia.
Falconbeidge, in King John, recommends Austria to " hang a calf-
skin on those recreant limbs." At the present day he could hardly
have recommended such a binding in calf, seeing that Austria is already
bound in Russia.
A Royal Wish.
(Echoed by all her subjects?)
Hee Majesty was attempting lately, previous to one of her journeys,
to master the difficulties of a Railway Guide. She turned over page
after page, but seemed to sink deeper and deeper into the iron net-
work of figures. At last she threw the Guide down m despair, and
exclaimed bitterly : " Oh ! Albeet, I wish there were a royal road to
learning Bradsfuiw."
ieish bitter beees.
We are glad to see a gradual improvement in the well-known Irish
Bitter Beers. Originally, these Beers were single X, _Jr-ecrated.
Since the Dolly's Brae affair they have been known as double X,
__-ecrated and _„-posed. The last quotations describe them as triple
X, ifc-ecrated, ifc-posed, and _2r-justices of the Peace.
Novel and Interesting Match.
A stout old gentleman with the gout has, for a trifling wager,
backed himself to walk from Notting Hill to the Bank against one of
the omnibuses on that road. Although the old gentleman is by no
means a fast walker, yet such are the dawdling propensities of ths
driver and conductor of the vehicle, that bets are 20 to 1 in favour of
the elderly pedestrian.
150
JOHN O'CONNELL CAPPED. A THAMES DRINKING SONG.
ohn O'Connell, in tlie pardonable belief that at Away to the cistern, each thirsty soul,
least the eyes of all the potatoes of Ireland would And set the tap a-going,
While murkily imo the dingy bowl
The stream is thickly flowing !
If sorrow we cannot always drown,
From our sight we can always thrust it;
The filth in the water will keep it down,
And the sediment will o'ercrust it.
Then hey for the cistern, each thirsty soul,
And bury your cares in the mud-girt bowl!
be immediately upon him, departed a few days
since for Dublin to open Irreconciliation Hall, for
the purpose of becoming money-taker in the cause
of Repeal. The learned and eloquent gentleman
had made every necessary preparation. " The first
flower of the earth" was renovated fresh as a daisy.
"The first gem of the sea" was reset in native
metal. The Duke of Wellington, from the
Horse-Guards, cast an anxious look towards Ire-
land. Evervbodv expected new Monster Meetings, Le* revellers boast of their choicest wme,
and new Meetings of M onst ers. Well, Mb. John ,oi- fn • u thT ,rluk ^ K ■
O'Connell has shown himself in Dublin, but, lor h**ot, 80 rifuh as this hquor of mme,
some days past, the learned gentleman has not been ! ™W^atever they may think it;
visible to the naked eye. It, is, nevertheless, believed that he is still in I b°f1 ol lts y' b™. (??me.and- ,see
Ireland. Great anxiety has been manifested for his whereabout by an ! -_ \™ ^P^s and impartially view it;
extensive circle of at least a dozen friends; and it is hoped that his wu°. !i' . ' _ llm V
abiding-place is known, though up to the present time he has not been While the dogs and the cats run through it.
discovered 1 hen hey for the luscious lhames ! I swear,
The following mysterious account has been given (privately before a Ir y°u lookfor body, you '11 find it there,
magistrate) by Tim Hoolaghan, servant of Mb,. O'Connell. The ______________
man deposed that the last time he saw his master, he desired him to i
bring the Repale Cap of the Liberator—the Cap presented at Tara— ' tmcda-rttv \-\irr\-\jn mnTinr-q
that, before John went to the Hall to make a mighty splash, he might Ulb±_Ull AMUJN _ l__VJ_b.
try it on, and have it taken in, if at all too big for him.—That M k. John J " Mr Punch,
O'Connell, approaching a mighty big glass, put, on the cap, which on j "I am just come out of the House of Correction, where I have
the sudden seemed, to grow as big almost as the great lantern of the been for two months, for nothing more than just taking a pocket-hand-
Four Courts, covering him intirely.—That lie heard his master crying to kerchief—not worth more than twopence, if truth's anything in this
be taken "out, of that," as the cap was smothering him- that he world—from the pocket of a ticket-porter. Two months, Mr. Punch,
(Tim) cried to Biddy Delaney (the housemaid) to come and help him; j and harder oakum I never picked.
that, between themselves, they pulled off the cap, but they could not, ! "Well, I 'ye just read the newspaper at the Barrington Arms. And
with all their eyes, find the masther at all at, all. j there I find sixteen tradesmen all convicted of robbing their customers.
Biddy Delaney corroborated the evidence of Tim. j And are they sent, to the stone jug r Not a bit of it. They pay their
The Liberator's cap, collapsed to its usual size, was handed to the \ money for their right to rob, because they pick pockets—not in the
magistrate; Biddy Delaney declaring, upon her word and honour, streets—b"t, like respectable householders, behind a counter,
that her n asther was in it still; bewiiched into the smallest taste in ! "One baker in Old-street, St. Luke's, has a 'piece of lead' under
life of a Liberator by the cap ot Daniel. j his scales, which chisels the customer out of 'an ounce and a half.'
The cap was carefully examined, but, the naked eye could not discover \ The baker is ' severely censured, fined 40 .,' and sent about his busi-
Me. John O'Connell. Nevertheless, Tim declared he heard him | ness—his business beinsr. to chisel again.
somewhere in the lining, crying in the smallest of the small voice of one ' "A pork-butcher of Clerkenwell (near my own House of Correction)
of the good people— ; has an ' illegal balance ' and five light weights. He is 'fined 20s., and
" Hereditary bondsmen! know ye not," &c. cautioned.' Now I wasn't cautioned, but locked up
_., , . , . , , . r _ • Achandhr has a hallpennv concealed m some fat under a scale,that
Silence being ordered m the court, the worthy magistrate listening , cnouses his customer of lawful weight, and he pays 20s. for it. I only con-
with the acute ear of justice, said he believed he heard him too
Whereupon, it was suggested that the cap should be examined with
a microscope, that—if really in the cap—the present Liberator might be
manifested to all Ireland.
At the lime of our going to press, no microscope had been procured.
However, let the matter end as it will, the story should be a warning to
cealed a handkei chief, and I got, two months. But see what, it is to rob
with a comfortable root over your head, and not to be obliged to pick
pockets whether it rains or shines.
" Well, sir, feeling how wicked I've been, and how I should like to
reform my ways, would you open a little subscription for me at your
office, to put a penitent, up in a small way of business ?—say thechand-
all pigmies not to meddle with the caps of giants. Smothering is the j jery green-grocery line, in which I might follow the'bent of my mind,
least that comes of it. ! wif.l_ no fear of the stone jug and oakum.
'I am your's to command,
SANITARY STREET NOMENCLATURE.
The names of our London streets exhibit a disgraceful tautology.
We are afraid to say how many Peter Streets, John Streets, and, above
all, Wellington Streets there are in the metropolis. Let this fault be
amended. Let the streets be called by their proper names ; that is to
sav, at present, by the various nuisances or diseases which inlest or
pollute them, respectively. As, Open Sewer Street; Gully Hole
Court; Slaughter House Buildings ; Shambles Place ; Knacker's Yard ;
Grave Yard Crescent; Charnel Square; Typhus Terrace; Scarla'ina's
Rents; Intermittent Kow; Consumption Alley j Scrofula Lane;
Cachexy Corner. Let such, at least, be the provisional nomenclature
of the streets of London, till this filthy capital shall have bren properly
drained and watered ; shall have had its churchyards closed, its atmos-
phere disinfected, and plague and pestilence expelled from its habitations.
a sinking fund with a vengeance.
Me. Disraeli advocates a sinking fund; but were the honourable
gentleman's financial schemes adopted, it, is to be feared that the fund
which would assume a sinking character would be the National Income.
binding on austeia.
Falconbeidge, in King John, recommends Austria to " hang a calf-
skin on those recreant limbs." At the present day he could hardly
have recommended such a binding in calf, seeing that Austria is already
bound in Russia.
A Royal Wish.
(Echoed by all her subjects?)
Hee Majesty was attempting lately, previous to one of her journeys,
to master the difficulties of a Railway Guide. She turned over page
after page, but seemed to sink deeper and deeper into the iron net-
work of figures. At last she threw the Guide down m despair, and
exclaimed bitterly : " Oh ! Albeet, I wish there were a royal road to
learning Bradsfuiw."
ieish bitter beees.
We are glad to see a gradual improvement in the well-known Irish
Bitter Beers. Originally, these Beers were single X, _Jr-ecrated.
Since the Dolly's Brae affair they have been known as double X,
__-ecrated and _„-posed. The last quotations describe them as triple
X, ifc-ecrated, ifc-posed, and _2r-justices of the Peace.
Novel and Interesting Match.
A stout old gentleman with the gout has, for a trifling wager,
backed himself to walk from Notting Hill to the Bank against one of
the omnibuses on that road. Although the old gentleman is by no
means a fast walker, yet such are the dawdling propensities of ths
driver and conductor of the vehicle, that bets are 20 to 1 in favour of
the elderly pedestrian.