Punch: Punch (19.1850)

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

53

ME. MALONY'S ACCOUNT OF THE BAUL

GIVEN TO THE nepatjlese ambassador by ttte peninsular ax1)

ORIENTAL company.

0 will ye choose to hear the news,

Bedad I cannot pass it o'er :
I'll tell you all ahout the Bali

To the Naypaulase Ambassador.
Begor ! this fete all balls does bate

At which I worn a pump, and I
Must here relate the splendthor gn f

Of th' Oriental Company.

These men of sinse, dispoised expinse,

To fete these black Achilleses.
"We'll show the blacks," says they, " Almack's,

And take the rooms at Willis's."
With flags and shawls, for these Nepauls,

They hung the rooms of Willis up,
And decked the walls, and stairs, and halls,

With roses and with lilies up.

And Jullien's band, it, tuck its stand,

So sweetly in the middle there,
And soft bassoons played heavenly chimes,

And violins did fiddle there.
And when the Coort was tired of spoort,

I'd lave you, boys, to think there was,
A nate buffet before them set,

Where lashins of good dhrink there was !

At ten before the ball-room door,

His moighty Excellency was,
He smoiled and bowed to all the crowd,

So gorgeous and immense he was.
His dusky shuit, sublime and mute,

Into the door-way followed him ■
And 0 the noise, of the blackguard boys,

As they hurrood and hollowed him !

The noble Chair,* stud at the stair,

And bade the dthrums to thump ; and he
Did thus evince, to that Black Prince,

The welcome of his Cumpany.
0 fair the girls, and rich the curls,

And bright the oys, you saw there, was ;
And, fixed each oye, ye there could spoi,

On Gineral Jung Baiiawther, was'.

This Gineral great, then tuck his sate,

With ah the other ginerals,
(Bedad his troat, his belt, his coat,

All bleezed with precious minerals ;)
And as he there with princely air,

Becloinin on his cushion was,
All round about his royal chair,

The squeezin and the pushin was.

0 Pat, such girls, such Jukes, and Earls,

Such fashion and nobilitee ! _
Just think of Tim, and fancy him,

Amidst the hoigh gentility !
There was Lord Be L'Huys, and the Portygeese

Ministher and his lady there,
And I reckonised, with much surprise,

Our messmate, Bob O'Grady, there;

There was Baron^s Brunow', that looked like Jtjno,

And Baroness Rehausen there,
And Countess Botjllier, that looked peculiar

Well, in her robes of gauze in there.
There was Lord Crowhurst (I knew him first,

When only Mr. Pips he was),
And Mick O'Toole, the great big fool,

That after supper tipsy was.

There was Lord Eixgall, and his ladies all,

And Lords Killeen and Dufferin,
And Paddy Pipe, with his fat wife; _

I wondther how he coidd stuff her in.

* James Matheson, Esquire, to ivliom, and the Board of Directors of the Peninsular
mid Oriental Company, i. Tiuotheus Mai.oxt, late stoker on hoard the Iberia, the
Lady Mary Wood, the Tagus, and the Oriental steam ships, humbly dedicate this pro-
duction of my grateful muse.

There was Lord Belfast, that by me past,
And seemed to ask how should I go there ?

And the Widow Macrae, and Lord A. Hay,
And the*Marchioness op Sligo there.

Yes, Jukes, and Earls, and diamonds, and pearls,

And pretty girls, was spoorting there ;
And some beside (the rogues !) I spied,

Behind the windies, coorting there.
0, there's one I know, bedad would show

As beautiful as any there,
And I'd like to hear the pipers blow,

And shake a fut with Eanny there !

THE BEGINNING OE THE END.

tjst now there are all the usual
symptoms of the close of the
Session being at hand; and
measures that would, other-
wise have proceeded by the
slov/est and easiest stages, are
being jerked through both
Houses in the most sudden and
precipitate manner.

The Bills of Parliament,
like some bills of the play we
have met with, seem to bear
upon the face of them the
information that " an interval
of some time is supposed to
elapse between the first and
second acts" or first and se-
cond readings—though, in fact
there is no interval at all: but
conclusions are jumped to by
the legislature with the same
amount of recklessness that is
displayed by the dramatist
when the denouement is de-
sired. Many of the members
have already left their seats
in the House for their seats in the country; and so as a sufficient
number of "reading men" can be kept together to read the remaining
bills of the Session, that is all that appears to be required.

Legislation which at the commencement of the Session drags its
slow length along, is, at this more advanced period, carried forward at
railway speed ; 'and measures instead of being deliberately forwarded,
and gradually carried, are shoved from stage to stage, pitched from
house to house, and ultimately made law in batches of a dozen or so
at a time; while the Government, like a threepenny 'bus, is allowed to
carry just as large a number as it pleases, without the smallest regard
to safety or convenience.

The legislative conductor and driver, feeling their labours to be near
their close, are only in a hurry to get to their journey's end, and will
carry whatever happens to be ready; but will leave behind anything,
however important, that is not exactly prepared to jump up, or tumble
on to the roof, or cling to the step, or hold on somehow or anyhow to
the State vehicle. Some passengers, like the County Court Extension,
for instance, may be suddenly deprived of a parcel of the most whole-
some provisions; but with a shout of "Dropp'd a parcel! very valuable
is it? it can't be helped ! we can't stop now for anybody or anything,"
the poor victim is hurried off, and, in fact, " carried," with the loss,
perhaps, of the greater part of that for which the expense and trouble
of being conveyed through all the previous stages had been gone to.

The Smithfield Life Pill.

Smithfield has been so much extolled lately for its salubrity, and city
medicai men have been so loud in their praises of the purity of its atmo-
sphere, and the general healthiness of its neighbourhood, that we wonder
that no Life Pill has yet seized upon its valuable name as a guarantee to
cure everything. _ We think, if largely advertised, and backed with a
few strong testimonials from well-known Aldermen and Common
Councihnen, that the Smithpield Lipe Pill would be a sure fortune
to any one who does not mind imposing upon the credulity of the British
Public. We should like to do it ourselves, for there is a difficulty now
a-days to make your fortune, unless you happen to be a quack, only we
have a few foolish doubts as to the honesty of the transaction.

Welcome Arrival —The " Great Bull from Nineveh " will arrive
in September, just in time to put an end to tne Gorbam controversy.