Punch: Punch (19.1850)

72

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

HE SAT LIKE PATIENCE ON A MONUMENT.

"If there be any Impatience in the Courts of Chancer r, we

will set those courts the wise and just 1xample of ' patience.'

* * * We set an example of Patience."—Mouse of Lords, August 3.

BARON ROTHSCHILD ON A WHEELBARROW.

Martin Luther says of the Jews—" They sit as on a wheelbarrow,
without a country, a people, or government." This was said three
hundred and fifty years ago ; and the Jew is on the wheelbarrow still.
At this moment he sits at the steps of the House of Commons. _ True
is it, he has been promised rest; has been wheeled hither and thither;
but as yet he has not been shot into a fixed seat. He is still—unhappy
moveable !—squat and expectant on his barrow; still may he not stretch
his legs and, taking his ease, sit down.

Since February has the wheelbarrow of Rothschild—with Roths-
child on it—stopt the way. And Rothschild, meek as one of Herod's
babies, looked for his friend and compeer, the Christian Lord John, to
Avheel him into the House of Commons, and hand him into_ his seat.
Months and months passed on; and Rothschild, still upon his barrow
—like a Chaldean Shepherd, enquiringly, yet patiently, tried to read his
fortune in the stars. And still Rothschild sat upon the barrow; and
still no Russell came.

But patience—even Hebrew patience—waxed warm; and Rothschild
cried out with a loud voice from his barrow—" Hoy! Halloo ! Here, ye
knowing ones of the City! See that, as Lord John fails to take me
up—see that I am straightway wheeled into the Parliament House, that
I may get off this accursed barrow, and, like a gentleman of the Hebrew
persuasion, sit down."

Whereupon, Rothschild, on his barrow, was straightway wheeled
into the House of Commons, and straightway—wheeled out again!

And then Christian gentlemen delivered themselves of thoughts, pro-

found and various, of the qualities of a House of Commons oath.
What was the breadth of a vow—the depth of a vow ? And there was
vast learning, curious _ subtlety, manifested as regarded vows. There'
were intellectual Magi, who would weigh you the precise weight of a.
vow, even to a scrapie. Moral geometricians who would give you the
superficial inches ot a vow, even refilling to a line.

And Rothschild, seated upon his barrow, said to himself—" Of a
verity, here are Christian gentlemen dealing with an oath, even as
certain of the fallen of my race in the Minories, in Houndsditch, or in
Eield-Lane, have dealt with pewter shillings and brass sovereigns;.
silvering and gilding with an outside show, to make the counterfeit pass
for the true thing. On the faith of a Hebrew,"—said Rothschild on
the barrow—" this is a melancholy matter."

Nevertheless, it must have been a balsamic comfort to Rothschild4
still on his barrow, to know that Lord John Russell talked so sweetly
of the British Constitution ; proving it to be good and sufficient for all
men in all cases. "Fling a man into the Thames," said Lord John,
with Ms eye upon his red box, "and if he devoutly believes in the
British Constitution, he will not sink ! If your house is in flames, only
read Magna Charta, with a believing faith, and there will be no need of
a fire-engine—for of itself the conflagration will go out. I boldly avow,
Sir,"—said Lord John—"that the Act of Settlement, properly applied,
is a specific for the tooth-ache—and, with respect to the case of Baron
Rothschild, that an operative faith in the necessity of the Whigs will,
fully meet every condition of the question. I shall not shrink from my
duty at the proper time; and most certainly not because odium may be
attached to it; for I am not backward to confess, that I rather admire
odium. Like a pickle, a little odium gives zest and flavour to minis-
terial life. Odium, Sir, I consider as the pungent onion to the official
loaves—the soy, anchovy, and cayenne to the Cabinet fishes."

Meanwhile Baron Rothschild still sat upon his barrow; and friends
gathered about him, and told him that as there was no help for him from
Lord John,—there he must still sit. Which Rothschild mightily
lamented; because in him were the hopes, the amended prospects of
Young Israel! For whereas, hard-bosomed man had flung it in the
teeth of the Hebrew that, as with a foul instinct he had sought to fill
the dirtiest offices of fife—that he had rejoiced in the most noisome
callings—and at the great Rag-Fair of Trick, and Usury, and Chicane,—
had ever pitched his Marine Store Booth to turn the nasty penny—
whereas, such reproaches had been made, and the Baron lamenting
them, hoped that with his removal from the barrow, the people would
find a resting-place, and thereupon eschew foul employments, and pul'
down the Booth of Dirty Pennies,—whereas the Baron hungered foi
this goodly day, and the day by Lord John was deferred, the Baron
was rightfully wrath with his Guildhall companion, and cr^d, "Woe is
me ! that I must still sit upon the barrow ! "

And Inglis and Newdegate, and also Spooner, laid their head?
together; and svere that, with their consent, Baron Rothschild
should never leave the wheelbarrow. " A wheelbarrow was the destiny
of him and his people ; and the Baron should never come down
from it."

'1 hereupon, some one said, it would be a good thing if the wheelbarrow
could be straightway wheeled to Jerusalem, and then and there emptied.
And another clapped his hands, and took his hat, and said_ he would
instantly go to Exeter Hall, and therefrom issue a Proclamation, calling
upon all men to gather together, and not to remove the Jew from the
wheelbarrow, but to remove the wheelbarrow itself with the Jew
upon it!

But this may not be. No. Rothschild must come off the wheel
barrow. Rothschild must take his seat in the House of Commons.
The Marine Store Booth shall be struck: and Young Israel, freed from
his civil disabilities, will also be freed from his unseemly yearnings.
Yes: with Young Israel represented in Parliament, will not Young
Israel be a gentle, urbane, and most conscientious presence in the City ?

For the present, however, the Baron De Rothschild—(let him thank
the Prime Minister for it,) must remain where he is; and, perhaps, in
1851, Lord John Russell will then stretch forth his statesman hand
to help the Jew off the wheelbarrow.

A Poet's Idea of the Submarine Telegraph.

One of our poets, who has been rather slack of work lately, and'
whose eye has been rolling in a fine frenzy to very little purpose for the
last fortnight, has furnished us with an idea on the subject of the sub-
marine telegraph. He says " it is like using the hghtning conductor
for a steel pen, and the ocean for an ink-stand." He might have added,
that the cliffs furnish the blotting pad, the shore supplies the sand, and
the whole world the sheet of paper to write upon.

the truth will out.

A Sabbatarian being requested a day or two since to do what he
could to get the Post-Office re-opened for Sunday delivery of letters,
made the following reply:—" I have questioned my conscience, and
really find I cant,"