Punch: Punch (19.1850)

FUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

89

mJNKEYISM IN EBONY.

ertainly it must be gratify-
ing _ to the Savages' Friend
Society—if there is one—and
to all the Philanthropophagi
and Negro-Fanciers of Exe-
ter Hall, to learn that Euro-
pean taste and refinement are
beginning to be emulated on
the coast of Africa. The
United Service Journal thus
describes an exhibition of the
splendour of sable Royalty
as displayed on board one of
Her Majesty's ships cruis-
ing in the river Cammaroon—

" King Bell was the first to
come on board, accompanied by
his favourite wife and twelve of his
chiefs ; he was dressed in the full
dress of a mail-coach-guard, with
a petticoat instead of trousers; next
was the eldestson of old Aqua, wear-
ing an English General's full-dress
coat and epaulettes, no breeches,
nor any substitute for them; last
came Tim Aqua, the younger
brother ; he wore the full dress of
a general officer, and was decently
clad in a pair of white duck trou-
sers and ankle boots, also a white
beaver hat, and on it, in letters of
gold, ' King Aqua.' "

" My Stars and Garters !" must be the exclamation of Britannia on
contemplating the above picture of the pomps and vanities of the
African portion of this world. The Ethiopian Monarch had "King
Aqua " emblazoned in letters of gold upon his hatband—very well—
Honi soit qui mal y pense ! Those who smile at King Bell's combina-
tion of mail-coach-guard's habiliments with female finery, should re-
member the androgynous George the Fourth at Madame Tussaud's,
in his coronation robes, designed by himself, quite in the taste of Bell.
Li bedizening his person in the full-dress coat of a British General, the
elder of the brothers Aqua evidently made a stride in civilisation; and
although he might have stridden in a costume more befitting the move-
ment, his resemblance to Brian O'Linn as to the lower extremities
was probably involuntary. It may seem strange that notions of ornament
so similar to those exhibited at an English Levee or Drawing-room
should co-exist with the puerility—not to say idiocy—betrayed in the
following incident. Divers presents, inclusive of a general officer's
uniform, having been made to the Royal brothers :—

" The Prince Rotal proposed to divide the coat by cutting it down from the centre
of the back, and the King to have one epaulette, and himself the other."

The intelligence of his Royal Highness might be thought pro-
portionate to his taste, if our own courtly wigs, and cocked hats, and
gold lace, and shoulder-knots, did not indicate a feeling for decoration
pretty much on a par with that evinced by these blackamoors. Are
they not flunkies and brothers ?

ENGLISH GRATITUDE.

Mr. G. Walker was the first to attract public attention to the
evils_ arising from Intramural Interment. He spent several years in
the investigation of the question, and large sums of money in the
accumulation of evidence. Mostly owing to his exertions,_ the new
Interment Bill has been passed. Appointments have been given away
under that measure; but not one to poor Mr. Walker. His existence
is ignored by Government. Services like his, deserving of some high
acknowledgment, are passed over in the coldest contempt. _

We often think that England is a most ungrateful nation. France,
and other nations, are not so tardy in rewarding their benefactors. Mr.
Rowland Hill received nothing but the " cold shoulder" from minis-
ters, for several years. Mr. Waghorn was allowed to die almost
in want; and numerous other examples could be cited, in proof of the
little encouragement given hi this country to men of science and
enterprise. And yet we prove our gratitude in the most liberal manner,
whenever a prince of the royal blood is to be the happy recipient of
it. We do not begrudge £12,000 a-year to a young Duke of Cambridge,
whose only public claim is, that he is the son of his father; but we
have not a iarthing to give to a man whose claims are based upon
the strong ground of an universal good. It is a pity Mr. Walker
had not been a member of the Royal Family; for then, instead of
receiving nothing for doing something, he would have come in for
something like £10,000 for doing notliing. For the future, when we
are told of Government patronage of men of talent and energy, we
shall very politely exclaim, " Walker !"

" NOW, BY ST. PAUL'S, THE WORK GOES BRAVELY ON."

The naves of St. Paul's are happily exempted henceforth from the
truly "knavish trick" of extracting two-pence from the pocket of the
visitor; and we only hope that the Deans and Chapters of other
cathedrals will take a chapter out of the Dean of St. Paul's Book.
Westminster Abbey is still one of the show-shops of the Metropolis,
and there are several cathedrals throughout the country which might
place over then portals the words—" Pay here."

At Canterbury, in particular, the old extortionate principle prevails
of "making no charge, but leaving it to your generosity;" and if your
generosity is not quite up to the notion of her own value entertained by
the Abigail in attendance, you are treated with a description of your-
selves, in rather more forcible language than is employed in the very
brief allusions to the objects of interest in the cathedral. This mode
of converting those visitors who have not come down handsomely with
a gratuity into a portion of the exhibition is very ingenious, if not
altogether agreeable; and we think the authorities of the cathedral
would do well either to abolish all fees or fix the amount, so that the
visitors would not run the chance of being apostrophised as a "beggarly
set," if they chanced to err on the side of economy.

THE LION HUNTBESS OF BELGBAVIA.

Being Lady Nimrod's Journal of the past Season.

When my husband's father, Sir John Nimrod, died, after sixteen
years' ill-health which ought to have killed a dozen ordinary baronets,
and which I bore, for my part, with angelic patience, we came at length
into the property which ought, by rights, to have been ours so long
before (otherwise I am sure I would never have married Nimrod, or
gone through eighteen years of dullness and comparative poverty in
second-rate furnished houses, at home and abroad), and at length monted
my maison in London. I married Nimrod an artless and beautiful
young woman, as I may now say without vanity, for I have given up all
claims to youth or to personal appearance ; and am now at the mezzo
of the path of nostra vita, as Dante says: having no pretensions to flirt
at all, and leaving that frivolous amusement to the young girls. I made
great sacrifices to marry Nimrod : I gave up for him Captain (now
General) Feather, the handsomest man of his time, who was ardently
attached to me; Mr. Pyx, then tutor to the Earl of Noodleburi,
but now Lord Bishop of Bullocksmithy ; and many more whom I
need not name, and some of whom I dare say have never forgiven me
for ji! ting them, as they call it. But how could I do otherwise ? Mamma's
meaus were small. Who could suppose that a captain of dragoons at
Brighton, or a nobleman's tutor and chaplain (who both of them adored
me certainly), would ever rise to then present eminent positions ? And
I therefore sacrificed myself and my inclinations, as every well-nurtured
and highly principled girl will, and became Mrs. Nimrod—remaining
Mrs. Nimrod—plain Mrs. Nimrod as Mr. Grimstone said—for
eighteen years. What I suffered no one can tell. Nimrod has no
powers of conversation and I am all soul and genius. Nimrod cares
neither for poetry, nor for company, nor for science, and without geology,
without poesy, without society, life is a blank to me. Provided he
could snooze at home with the children, poor N. was (and is) happy.
But ah! could their innocent and often foolish conversation suffice to a
woman of my powers ? I was wretchedly deceived, it must be owned,
in my marriage, but what mortal among us has not his or her tracasseries
and desillusiotinements ? Had I any idea that the old Sir John Nimrod
would have jclung to life with such uncommon tenacity, I might now
have been the occupant of the Palace of Bullocksmithy (in place of poor
Mrs. Pyx, who is a vulgar creature), and not the mistress of my house
in Eaton Crescent, and of Hornby Hall, Cumberland, where poor Sir
Charles Nimrod generally lives shut up with his gout and his children.

He does not come up to London, nor is he fait pour y briller. My
eldest daughter is amiable, but she has such frightful red hair _ that J
really could not bring her into the world; the boys are with their tutoi
and at Eton; and as I was born for society, I am bound to seek for it,
alone. I pass eight months in London, and the remainder at Baden, or
at Brighton, or at Paris. We receive company at Hornby for a fort-
night when I go. Sir C—. N—. does not trouble himself much with
London or mon monde. He moves about my saloons without a word to
say for himself; he asked me whether Dr. Buckland was a poet, and
whether Sir Sidney Smith was not an Admiral: he generally overeats
and drinks himself at the house-dinners of his clubs, being a member of
both Snooker's and Toodle's, and returns home after six weeks to his
stupid Cumberland solitudes. Thus it will be seen that my lot in life
as a domestic character is not a happy one. Born to briber in society,
I had the honour of singing on the table at Brighton before the epicure
George the Fourth at six years of age.* What was the use of
shining under such a bushel as poor dear Sir C—. N—. ? There are

* It was not before George the Fourth, but before the Prince o» Wales, that
Lady Nimrod, then Miss Bellairs, performed at the Pavilion.