Punch: Punch (19.1850)

132 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

LONDON IN 1851.

THE STOCKS IN AID OF THE PULPIT.

We all know that secular and religious instruction ought to be
united; indeed that the former is not worth a button, unless combined
with the latter. Therefore everybody agrees that religion must be
taught by all means. In the meantime nobody has succeeded hitherto
in devising any means by which it may be taught effectually. _ The
affections rather than the intellect have to be tutored—there is the
difficulty. It is easy to cram the head with creeds : but how to
inspire the heart with pious sentiments ? Rejoice, all men, to know that
this discovery—which, of course, infinitely beats the invention of the
Electric Telegraph—has been made; and that, will it be believed ? by
some humble country magistrates whose very names are at present
unknown. The Lincolnshire Times first announced it to the world in
the subjoined unassuming paragraph, which we copy from the Morning
Post, under a heading furnished, we suspect, by our oligarchical con-
temporary :—

" Salutary Punishment.—Gainsborough has been kept in a state of considerable
excitement during the week, by the exhibition of a number of boys being placed in
the stocks in the Market-place, for the crime of Sunday gaming. They were sentenced
to be confined three hours each; two of them had their turn on Monday morning,
between the hours of seven and one; others were confined on Wednesday and
Thursday."

This is the way to teach the proper observance of the Sabbath, and,
by parity of reason, rehgious knowledge at large. Rightly to direct
the steps of _ youth—put their feet in the stocks. How beautifully
simple! Whilst the philosophical preceptor is perplexing himself in
the endeavour to soften callousness and enliven stupidity, so as to beget
some sort of sensibility to celestial influences, the Gainsborough
justices solve the problem in a trice by their converting apparatus.
The annoyance of an uncomfortable position and the stimulus of
banter must obviously produce the impression which the Post or the
Lincolnshire Times calls "salutary;" in other words must dispose the
mind of the patient to serious and contrite meditation. No doubt
the stocks have convinced these boys of the wickedness of Sunday
chuck-farthing; for it is not probable that they desecrated the day
by lansquenet, or any other species of gambling equally high._ This
18 ± macbinery; but here we have a mechanical instru-

ment performing a spiritual function; the stocks superseding the

preacher. The Gainsborough authorities must really send this inge-
nious instrument—their contrivance for the conversion of juvenile
sinners—to the Exhibition of 1851, to be tried by all those who are
willing to put their foot in it.

THE FRATERNAL DEMOCRATS.

When folks of choicest respectability and best education champion
Haynati, as only the sanguinary tool—the material whip or sabre in the
hand of Austria, and therefore ask for him the most charitable construe
tion of the soldier's dastardly and bloody doings—they ought not _ to
marvel when the unlearned humble give utterance to their exultation
at the rough teaching of the executioner at the henceforth historical
brewery of Barclay and Perkins. A few persons self-dubbed the
Fraternal Democrats, have met to express their sympathy with the
teacher draymen; but we should hope that, however the teachers may
receive the meaning of goodwill, they will reject the mode in which
such sympathy is expressed. One fraternal speaker declared his
poignant regret that Haynaxj had not been boiled in a vat; another
lull of brotherly love was profoundly touched that the General had not
been sent to the infernal regions to keep a place for his master. _ Ah
this is very wrong—but when we find Austria supported in choicest
leading articles written by scholars and gentlemen, are we to wonder at
the strong Doric of costermongers, speaking in opposition ?

As for the Fraternal Democrats, whence — after such homicidal
aspirations—do they derive their fraternity? From Abel? Surely
not; but from Abel's brother. We advise them straightway to drop
the connection.

No doubt these men, in their way, admire Liberty; but we would as
soon trust the mountain nymph to admiring satyrs, as resign Liberty
to the brotherly love of the Fraternal Democrats.

attraction op the bottle.

Some "bottle-nose whales" have been seen off Ireland. It is but
fair to infer, then, that they were pointing their noses towards Cork.