Punch (20.1851)

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THE ROMANCE OF CHILDE JOHNSON IN
PURSUIT OF A PATENT.

HILDE JOHNSON was a venturous wight as ever bearded wizard.

Slew Giant, or drove trusty lance through Dragon's greedy gizzard;
The fairy, hiaht Invention, gave her Childe a certain treasure,
Which to maintain and guard, required a desperate kind of measure.

This was to seek a parchment stamped with signs of purport latent,
A magic scroll—a talisman—a thing yclept a Patent:
To gam this prize a pilgrimage was doomed to be his portion,
Through Dens and Caves of Roguery and Castles of Extortion.

Childe Johnson braced his armour on with courage tough as leather,
And gatlier'd all the means he could contrive to scrape together;
Eor well he knew that monsters would at every turn invade him,
To baulk his quest and ruin him, if he'd no purse to aid him.

To Chancery's Court of Cozenage first undauntedly he hies him j
A harpy straight swoops down on him—but that could scarce surprise him;
Next journeying 'twist Home Office Den and fell Crown Lawyer's
Chambers,

Eoul vultures tear him at each step o'er which he creeps or clambers.

To Palace of the Queen oe Hearts has Johnson now to walk on;
Then, souse upon him, darts again Home Secretary Ealcon.
He next to Ravens' Patent Nest in Lincoln's Inn proceeding,
Is seized by those rapacious birds, and undergoes more bleeding.

Once more to Crown-Attorney's Lair, and Secretary's Eyry,
Fares this much-suffering favourite of Invention, crafty Fairy ;
Once more unto the Queen oe Hearts does sturdy Johnson wend him,
And hawk and wolf of Government anew attack and rend him.

The Signet'sHaunt next Johnson braves, where Griffins grim and savage,
Slaves to the monster Privy-Seal, the Childe despoil and ravage
The Patent Ravens now again, with bilk and stamp, and docket,
Engrossings, fees, and recipes, come picking at his pocket.

The Rats and Mice of Hanaper, the various other Vermin _
That nestle in the Woolsack and that hang about the Ermine,
And sub-Chaff-Wax-and-Sealer-Fleas complete the spoliation,
And Johnson drained well nigh to death comes out of his probation.

The Childe, in spite of Monster, Ogre, Cockatrice, and Dragon,
Has got the Patent Talisman—and much he has to brag on!
Sing, Ho for Johnson ! gallant Childe, and persevering fighter—
The prize is gained—and Johnson is three hundred pounds the lighter.

Good luck to Johnson ! may the palm so hardly won, avail him ;
And, should his rights invaded be, his talisman ne'er fail him;
'Gainst wiles of legal conjurers may it prove a safe assurance,
And not betray the Childe, at last, to Whitecross Street and durance !

Vol. 20.

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