Punch (20.1851)

As a young Lobster roamed about,
Itself and mother both being out,
Their eyes at the same moment fell
On a boiled Lobster's scarlet shell.
" Look," said the youngster; " is it true
That we might wear so bright a hue ?

THE LOBSTERS. A Fable.

No coral, if I trust mine eye,

Can with its startling brilliance vie ;

While you and I must be content

A dingy aspect to present."

" Proud heedless fool,' the parent cried ;

" Know'st thou the penalty of pride ?

The tawdry finery you wish
Has ruined that unhappy fish.
The hue so much by you desired
By his destruction was acquired.
So bs contented with your lot,
Nor seek to change by going to pot."

POLITICAL BIAS.

OW and then we hear of the
" political bias " of certain
jj men, and certain parties.
I We suppose it refers to the
I large sums of money that
) are spent at elections in the
|l purchase of votes. The
|r "political bias" of a mem-
I ber so elected means, then,
I that he has the wealth to buy
I. any quantity of votes at the
i rate of £40 (which, we are
* told, was the latest quotation
in the bribery market at
St. Albans), or whatever sum
may be demanded, per vote.
Constituencies so purchased,
however, are as . frequently
sold as bought. The phrase,
therefore, should be enlarged,
to combine both those facts.
Independent electors, when
talking of their member,
should not be content with
dwelling upon the sterling
virtues of his "political bias,"
but should go further, and
make handsome allusion to
his other accomplishment,
and speak of him as "a man
of a sure political bias—and
sell-us."

REWARD OF THE PEN!

The sale of Paradise Lost for £10—the sale of Rasselas to pay the funeral
expenses of Johnson's mother —the sacrifice of the Vicar of Wakefield to
the pecuniary impatience of a prosaic landlady,—these stories, and a hundred
others illustrative of the small rewards and besetting poverty of the pen,
are old-old as rags convertible into paper. Therefore, especially delightful
is it to the _ impartial mind to light upon a fact of triumphant proof that,
when something very handsome is not realised by a pen it must be the con-
stitutional fault of the penman himself; and not the unavoidable accident of the

instrument he works with. Read the subjoined beautiful
truth :—

" The splendid Rotton Park estate, near Birmingham, for a long period
the property of the Noels, of Worcestershire, has just been purchased
by Mr. Gillott, the steel-pen maker, for £95,000."

Let us have no more vain, offensive whimpering about the
ill-rewarded office of the uen, when here it is, plain as Rotton
Park oaks and acres, that pens may purchase an estate worth
£95,000. Let us have no more maudlin about Milton,
Goldsmith, or Burns ; for is not their passing penury more
than recompensed to a complaining world, by the glorifica-
tion of a Gillott ?

WILD SPORTS OP THE WEST.

Belgravta has not hitherto been known as a sporting
district, but the following advertisement, from a recent
copy of the Times, would seem to show that man, in
that fashionable locality, is open to the temptations
of savage life, and that the Wild Sports of the West
End are likely to take a prominent place in the annals
of ferocity:—

"DECENTLY SHOT, a Fine Fat BEAR, the GREASE of
-tv which is now SELLING at Depot, Terrace, Belgrave Square, in
pots and bottles, from Is. 6d. to £1 Is. N.B.—Another fine Bear to be
shot on Monday morning, December 30, at 10 o'clock, on the premises,
where the Fat may be cut off at 12s. per lb.; the head and skin for sale.
Any gentleman desirous of shooting the Bear on the 30th instant, may,
by application at the Dep8t, be supplied with further particulars.

It is really very hard upon the poor bears imported into
this country, that not only their fat, but their fate should
be made a source of profit; and that they should become
the mark of such sportsmen as love sport for the luxury of
killing in cool blood, without the excitement of the chase,
its dangers and contingencies. We presume there must
be candidates for the privilege of doing the butcher's work
upon the poor bear, who is brought from his home at the
Pole to bestow his fat on the polls of those who take it into
their heads that it may offer a sort of hair-breadth escape
from baldness.

The "head and skin" are also for sale; and considering
how many bears we meet with in the world who seem to
have no head at all, we think the offer likely to suit a great
many. As to the skin, it might serve as a real bear-skin
coat, but a lion's skin would be more in demand by the class
of animals to whom the advertisement seems to address
itself.