Punch (20.1851)

6*

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

drawn against our people were only of lath, that the stones flung against
TOLERATION FOR ALL PARTIES—AND SOME OTHERS, our martyrs were wind-bags! What scandal! What ridicule worse

. » , than torture ! What scorn of scoffers and the profane ! The director of

tjring the times of our great this Lord had best be changed. the Metropolitan had best appoint him
grandfathers it was the pro- to a cure_

tession of Englishmen to re-
nounce the Pope and the
Pretender, together with
another potentate, regarded
as the common enemy. In
the present day there are
British politicians who are
for quietly allowing the Pope
to establish an imperium in
imperio. Consistency would
make them equally tolerant
of the Pretender were he
now extant; and it is a
question whether their very
enlarged views of "tolera-
tion" would not even take
in the third individual in
the triad, were he openly
to endeavour to annex the
dominions of Her Majesty to the realms of Darkness.

FROM THE DIAKIO OLTRAMANO.

When the submarine telegraph-lines have been satisfactorily laid
down, it is a great comfort for the piously-minded man to think that
communication throughout Europe will be almost instantaneous, and
that thus, in five minutes, and at a trifling expense, we can get our
answers and orders from Rome. At any difficulty, Propaganda will
enlighten us ; and I have not the slightest doubt, that a Sacred Board
will sit there permanently, with which we can have intercourse at all
hours of the day. What a comfortable—what a consoling—what a
magnificent idea!—that of Rome being really the centre of the world,
and irradiating knowledge and truth to all Europe ! A miraculous eye
could not wink at Rimini, but the next instant the fact would be
known at Eish Street Hill; a difficulty could not occur, but it might
have an instant solution; and my Lord A. and S., speaking in the House
of Commons, might be reported in the Piazza di Spagna, and actually
prompted at St. Stephen's before he sate down.

_ In the meantime I should suggest that it would be as well that all
right-thinking persons, members of either House of the Legislature,
should advise with their spiritual director before making any speech or
statement whatever in their respective Chambers. A reverend brother
or two might be in constant attendance, and so attired as not to attract
observation. _ For example: About the House of Commons, one might
sell oranges in Parliament Street; another might be employed as a
waiter at Bellamy's, and so fqrth ; and the great object of unity might
be obtained, and authority kept up.

A lamentable instance of the evils consequent on the want of
unity is to be found, alas ! in the speech of Lord Camoys, in the
debate on the address. His Lordship, who represents one of the
most ancient families of the kingdom, says ;—" At the period of these
introductions (the introduction of our incomparable hierarchy), the
Catholics of England were on the best possible terms with the Pro-
testants. They were in the full enjoyment of religious toleration;
they had the benefit of perfect equality before the law; they were
increasing in numbers * * * the whole tendency of things was
to give stability to the Cathobc body in this country, to enlarge and
to adorn it."

Any person must at once see, that such admissions, as coming from
Catholic lips, must be fatal. Where was the spiritual director of Lord
C. when that Lord made such statements? Are we not, on the
contrary, maligned and cruelly persecuted? How can it be for a
moment said that we are in the fullest enjoyment of religious toleration,
when other sects are allowed to exist at all ? There can be but one
religion: therefore, all others are false; therefore, to put falsehood on
a par with truth is monstrously unjust and tyrannical; therefore we are
persecuted: therefore we are not in full enjoyment of our religious
opinions—and we have not perfect equality before the law: the law
makes Mr. Stjmner, Archbishop of Canterbury, and does not allow
ms Eminence as Archbishop of Westminster: therefore the law is
monstrously unequal. And a son of the Church, who, in spite of the
Church, the groans of its venerable princes, the outcries of its eloquent
prelates, the exclamations of the suffering clergy, says that we are not
persecuted at all, makes proof of a dangerous indifference and a
culpable apathy, for which he ought to be visited with the severest
censure iancy for a moment this opinion to be general throughout
England, that a heretical majority had no intention to persecute! that
tne stakes prepared for our faithful were without fire, that the swords

As for the Member of the Commons House, the unfortunate and
rebellious Cms

THE ARMY AND THE GREAT EXHIBITION.

As the Great Exhibition is intended to be a sort of Peace Congress,
whereat the principles of brotherly love are to be taught to all nations'
it would naturally be supposed that the Church would be its chief sup-
porter : but, as the Church has lately been making such an exhibition
of itself, we are afraid that it will be
quite "used up" before the great
affair comes off. It will therefore de-
volve upon the other professions to
aid and assist in what we may literally
term the great undertaking, viewing
it as the funeral of national prejudices.

It is said that even the Army will
" form up," and do its best to square
the differences which have too long
existed between nations, and do its
share towards converting the swords
into ploughshares.

If Punch might venture to give a
hint, he would suggest that, some very
instructive articles might be sent up
for exhibition from military quarters.
A recruit before attending drill, for
instance, would be a fine specimen
of the "raw" material, while a soldier

on duty, with " eyes front, arrrrm
close to the side, palm of the hand
to the front, and little finger in line
with the seam of the overalls," would
be a specimen of the manufactured
article, and a pretty inmate for a
glass case—lobster in crystal. Space
might be afforded for an intelligent
victim to describe and illustrate the
interesting processes of club-drill, pack-
drill, back-stick, and black-hole, by
which the country bumpkin is " licked
into shape." This, Punch is convinced,
would have a salutary effect on the
" smart, active, and enterprising young
men," who are ambitious of being
shot at for a shilling, and induce them
to remain at home, instead of seeking
glory at the cannon's mouth, or in
the barrack parade ground.

THE LOWEST DEPTH OF MEANNESS.

a vulgar parce, pounded on pact.

Mr. and Mrs. Skinflint are discovered in a Parlour in a Fashionable
Square. The Wife is busy sewing. The Husband is occupied running
his eye, well drilled in all matters of domestic economy, over the house-
keeping accounts of the previous week.

Mr. Skinflint. You've been very extravagant in my absence, my
dear.

Mrs. Skinflint. It's the same story every week, John.

Mr. Skinflint. But, nonsense, Madam, I tell you, you have. For
instance, you had a Crab for supper last night.

Mrs. Skinflint {startled). How do you know that ? It's not down in
the book.

_Mr. Skinflint {triumphantly). No—but I found the shell in the dust-

Political Capital.

A new phrase has lately come into fashion, called " Political Capital."
From what we know of the persons who make the largest use of this
new phrase, we take "Political Capital" to mean nothing more than
" Personal Interest."