DOI issue:
January to June, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16607#0098
90
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SCENE—A CAFE IN PAEIS.
Loudon Gent. "Garco.ng ! Tas de Corfee ! "
Garpon. " Bien, M'sjeu'—Voui.d you like to see zee times I"
London Gent. " Hang the Feller ! Now, i wonder how the doose
he found out I was an englishman !"
RELIGION FOR SERVANTS.
It would appear that there are two qualities of religion, as of almost
every other article; aud there is a particular sort supplied, in some of
the metropolitan parishes, to the domestics wl'ose souls are considered
worthy of salvation, through the medium of " sittings." There was a
discussion, in the Marylebone vestry, not Ions ago, about the amount
of accommodation in the churches, when the following formed part of
the proceedings, as we found them reported in the Observer.—
" Sir Peter Laurie rose to call the attention of the vestry to a return he held in his
hand, relative to the number of sittings vacant, and the amount of applicants for
sittings, in the respective churches of the parish. From this return it appeared that
there were 921 vacant sittings in the various parochial churches and chapels—namely,
in the parish church (the rectory), 145 vacant sittings, and 16 applications; in St.
Mary s, 50 vacant sittings, and 18 applications; in All Souls, 61 vacant sittings, and
22 applications ; in Christ Church, 4S5 vacant sittings, and 1 application (laughter); in
Trinity, 149 vacant sittings, and 17 applications ; in the parish chapel, 7 vacant sittings,
and 4 applications; and in St. John's W<:od Chapel, 111 vacant sittings, and 4 appli-
cations This he (Sir Peter Laurie) thought clearly proved Mr. Stephens's state-
ment of the previous week to be wholly incorrect (Hear hear)
" The Rev. Mr. Gurnet said it would appear that Sir Peter Laurie was trying to
make the vestry believe the churches were emntv. Now so far from that beine the .1 ~~T .—r,------o------~~ : ~~ .„ ... , . - -__•
case with regard to St. Mary's Church, the only■ b^te t£t ^ ^lJw«TSelS the?t as kindly as you will, 1 have uniformly ound that you receive
We should have thought the more educated classes might better have
been entrusted with the task of rilling up, from their own imaginations,
the blanks in the service, or the sermon, at a place of worship ; but we
find it is quite otherwise, for the servants are those whose senses it
is not 1 nought worth while to appeal to, by placing them near enough
to enable them to know what the clergyman is talking about. When,
however, "the families come to town," the unfortunate flunkies must
tun, out of the galleries, where nothing is audible or visible, and, if
thej ;o to church at all, their religious instruction must be laid on for
them into the lobbies and passages or porticoes of the churches, while
their " superiors " are receiving the article in a more direct fashion.
If the servants are expected to profit at all by a sermon, and are only
provided with places in which nothing can be heard, we presume that
some mesmeric influence is calculated upon for bringing to their senses
the words that their ears are not permitted the apprehension of.
THE COMPLAINTS OP THIN-SKINNED PEOPLE.
By a Pupil of Erasmus Wilson.
Of all complaints, none are so difficult to treat as those of thin-
skinned people. There is no classifying tbem; and the worst is, the
thinner-skinned such unhappy creatures are, the more difficult it is to
treat their complaints. Medicine has but little to do with the cure.
Gentleness, patience, and a spirit of forbearance, accompanied with a
mildness of remonstrance, are the only remedies known to have any
effect whatever.
These complaints assume a thousand eccentric shapes, that frequently
baffle the experienced eye of Science. A medical man never can be
sufficiently prepared for them, and should always look upon the various
symptoms, perplexing as they may be, with the greatest pity. _ He
should listen with an air of the most profound interest, and if he
cannot effect any good, still he may evince a feeling of sympathy, which
may go a long way in removing the imaginary complaint.
I say imaginary, for, after all, the complaints of thin-skinned people
are mostly imaginary. Herein lies the great difficulty of knowing how
to remove them. As it is absurdly impossible to discover in most
instances what has been the origin of the complaint, so it becomes a
matter of extremely hazardous risk to understand what particular
remedies to apply to it, and great care is requisite in many aggravated
cases before you determine on what you should say, or what you should
do, for fear of making the complaint worse. TIip most efficacious
method of treatment is to say nothing at all. Leave the patient to
hirnself. Let him be as peevish, and snarl, and rave as much as he
pleases, he will soon get better, when he finds out that no notice is
taken of him.
The conduct of a thin-skinned person, when his complaints are very
loud and frequent, is exceedingly curious, and anything but pleasant.
First of all, do what you will, there is no pleasing him. The very first
word that is capable of two meanings he will take offence at. In such
a mood I have known him quarrel with his dearest friend, and nothing
has been able to convince him he was in the wrong. If he has a rela-
tion in humble trade, he is perpetually fancying that every one is making
allusions to the circumstance purposely to insult him. _ If by any acci-
dent some distant member of his family has been guilty of an indis-
cretion, which has rendered necessary his removal beyond the seas,
then his torments are endless. The slightest touch upon any subject,
bearing ever so remotely upon the Old Bailey, sends him into a fit of
the greatest fever. He will colour, cough, roll about in his chair, get
red in the face, and the chances are that he does not fly into the greatest
passion, and commit himself by spluttering out insults to the persons
who never meant anything insulting to him. Explanation in such a
case becomes hopeless. His malady is of that sensitive degree that the
more you endeavour to persuade him you did not mean to offend him,
the more he becomes convinced that such was your intention. The only
remedy is to leave him to himself, and to send a friend to relieve his
mind the next morning—that is to say, if you think the ca.se worth it.
For my own part, my practice invariably is to let thin-skinned persons
undertake the management and cure of their own complaints ; for, treat
nothing but hard words and no pay, much less thanks.
tne servants gallery, and so distant from the pnlpit that the minister could not be
heatd or seen. He would, however, venture to observe, that in two months hence,
when the families returned to town, his church would be filled to overflowing, even in
the servants galleries, and every other part."
We find, from the above explanation, that servants are considered to be \ „ „ Protectionist Dialogue
suitably supplied with religious instruction if they are furnished with I 1 should like to see the Whigs without a leg to stand upon, said
1 one of the farmers' friends to Disraeli. " I can't exactly say that my
wishes go to that length," exclaimed the Minister in (nov) posse; "I don't
desire to see them without a leg to stand on, for I want them to walk out."
places where _ themimster can neither be heard nor seen." This is leaving
much to the imagination, and, perhaps, it is believed by the authorities
that, as distance sometimes lends enchantment to a view, the servants
ol a congregation may be more enchanted the further they are removed
rrom the clergyman. The admission made at the vestry meeting is, cer-
tainly, one oi the coolest and boldest we ever remember to have met
witn; namely that the appropriate places for domestics in a church are
tnose seats where they can see and hear nothing
the pope's advocate.
Mr. Roebuck is a gentleman of great forensic abilities ; so great,
that he seems to have been entrusted with the Pope's brief.
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SCENE—A CAFE IN PAEIS.
Loudon Gent. "Garco.ng ! Tas de Corfee ! "
Garpon. " Bien, M'sjeu'—Voui.d you like to see zee times I"
London Gent. " Hang the Feller ! Now, i wonder how the doose
he found out I was an englishman !"
RELIGION FOR SERVANTS.
It would appear that there are two qualities of religion, as of almost
every other article; aud there is a particular sort supplied, in some of
the metropolitan parishes, to the domestics wl'ose souls are considered
worthy of salvation, through the medium of " sittings." There was a
discussion, in the Marylebone vestry, not Ions ago, about the amount
of accommodation in the churches, when the following formed part of
the proceedings, as we found them reported in the Observer.—
" Sir Peter Laurie rose to call the attention of the vestry to a return he held in his
hand, relative to the number of sittings vacant, and the amount of applicants for
sittings, in the respective churches of the parish. From this return it appeared that
there were 921 vacant sittings in the various parochial churches and chapels—namely,
in the parish church (the rectory), 145 vacant sittings, and 16 applications; in St.
Mary s, 50 vacant sittings, and 18 applications; in All Souls, 61 vacant sittings, and
22 applications ; in Christ Church, 4S5 vacant sittings, and 1 application (laughter); in
Trinity, 149 vacant sittings, and 17 applications ; in the parish chapel, 7 vacant sittings,
and 4 applications; and in St. John's W<:od Chapel, 111 vacant sittings, and 4 appli-
cations This he (Sir Peter Laurie) thought clearly proved Mr. Stephens's state-
ment of the previous week to be wholly incorrect (Hear hear)
" The Rev. Mr. Gurnet said it would appear that Sir Peter Laurie was trying to
make the vestry believe the churches were emntv. Now so far from that beine the .1 ~~T .—r,------o------~~ : ~~ .„ ... , . - -__•
case with regard to St. Mary's Church, the only■ b^te t£t ^ ^lJw«TSelS the?t as kindly as you will, 1 have uniformly ound that you receive
We should have thought the more educated classes might better have
been entrusted with the task of rilling up, from their own imaginations,
the blanks in the service, or the sermon, at a place of worship ; but we
find it is quite otherwise, for the servants are those whose senses it
is not 1 nought worth while to appeal to, by placing them near enough
to enable them to know what the clergyman is talking about. When,
however, "the families come to town," the unfortunate flunkies must
tun, out of the galleries, where nothing is audible or visible, and, if
thej ;o to church at all, their religious instruction must be laid on for
them into the lobbies and passages or porticoes of the churches, while
their " superiors " are receiving the article in a more direct fashion.
If the servants are expected to profit at all by a sermon, and are only
provided with places in which nothing can be heard, we presume that
some mesmeric influence is calculated upon for bringing to their senses
the words that their ears are not permitted the apprehension of.
THE COMPLAINTS OP THIN-SKINNED PEOPLE.
By a Pupil of Erasmus Wilson.
Of all complaints, none are so difficult to treat as those of thin-
skinned people. There is no classifying tbem; and the worst is, the
thinner-skinned such unhappy creatures are, the more difficult it is to
treat their complaints. Medicine has but little to do with the cure.
Gentleness, patience, and a spirit of forbearance, accompanied with a
mildness of remonstrance, are the only remedies known to have any
effect whatever.
These complaints assume a thousand eccentric shapes, that frequently
baffle the experienced eye of Science. A medical man never can be
sufficiently prepared for them, and should always look upon the various
symptoms, perplexing as they may be, with the greatest pity. _ He
should listen with an air of the most profound interest, and if he
cannot effect any good, still he may evince a feeling of sympathy, which
may go a long way in removing the imaginary complaint.
I say imaginary, for, after all, the complaints of thin-skinned people
are mostly imaginary. Herein lies the great difficulty of knowing how
to remove them. As it is absurdly impossible to discover in most
instances what has been the origin of the complaint, so it becomes a
matter of extremely hazardous risk to understand what particular
remedies to apply to it, and great care is requisite in many aggravated
cases before you determine on what you should say, or what you should
do, for fear of making the complaint worse. TIip most efficacious
method of treatment is to say nothing at all. Leave the patient to
hirnself. Let him be as peevish, and snarl, and rave as much as he
pleases, he will soon get better, when he finds out that no notice is
taken of him.
The conduct of a thin-skinned person, when his complaints are very
loud and frequent, is exceedingly curious, and anything but pleasant.
First of all, do what you will, there is no pleasing him. The very first
word that is capable of two meanings he will take offence at. In such
a mood I have known him quarrel with his dearest friend, and nothing
has been able to convince him he was in the wrong. If he has a rela-
tion in humble trade, he is perpetually fancying that every one is making
allusions to the circumstance purposely to insult him. _ If by any acci-
dent some distant member of his family has been guilty of an indis-
cretion, which has rendered necessary his removal beyond the seas,
then his torments are endless. The slightest touch upon any subject,
bearing ever so remotely upon the Old Bailey, sends him into a fit of
the greatest fever. He will colour, cough, roll about in his chair, get
red in the face, and the chances are that he does not fly into the greatest
passion, and commit himself by spluttering out insults to the persons
who never meant anything insulting to him. Explanation in such a
case becomes hopeless. His malady is of that sensitive degree that the
more you endeavour to persuade him you did not mean to offend him,
the more he becomes convinced that such was your intention. The only
remedy is to leave him to himself, and to send a friend to relieve his
mind the next morning—that is to say, if you think the ca.se worth it.
For my own part, my practice invariably is to let thin-skinned persons
undertake the management and cure of their own complaints ; for, treat
nothing but hard words and no pay, much less thanks.
tne servants gallery, and so distant from the pnlpit that the minister could not be
heatd or seen. He would, however, venture to observe, that in two months hence,
when the families returned to town, his church would be filled to overflowing, even in
the servants galleries, and every other part."
We find, from the above explanation, that servants are considered to be \ „ „ Protectionist Dialogue
suitably supplied with religious instruction if they are furnished with I 1 should like to see the Whigs without a leg to stand upon, said
1 one of the farmers' friends to Disraeli. " I can't exactly say that my
wishes go to that length," exclaimed the Minister in (nov) posse; "I don't
desire to see them without a leg to stand on, for I want them to walk out."
places where _ themimster can neither be heard nor seen." This is leaving
much to the imagination, and, perhaps, it is believed by the authorities
that, as distance sometimes lends enchantment to a view, the servants
ol a congregation may be more enchanted the further they are removed
rrom the clergyman. The admission made at the vestry meeting is, cer-
tainly, one oi the coolest and boldest we ever remember to have met
witn; namely that the appropriate places for domestics in a church are
tnose seats where they can see and hear nothing
the pope's advocate.
Mr. Roebuck is a gentleman of great forensic abilities ; so great,
that he seems to have been entrusted with the Pope's brief.