DOI Heft:
January to June, 1851
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16607#0105
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
97
THE BRITISH BANKER ABROAD.
The new passport system is a most significant, and withal, a most
honourable characteristic of England. An English traveller moves
upon his banker, as his watch, to be worth anything, moves upon a
diamond. The price of the foreign passport—still to be had, whilst we
write, of Palmerston and Co.—is lowered to the small sum of 7s. 6d.
Three half-crowns fit the wanderer with a document that saves him
time and trouble on his way, rejoicing; and haply obtains of the
small folks in foreign office some additional momentary respect—some
transient smile or rudiment of a bow to the bearer. But of the
thousands of carpet-bagged Britons who cross the sea, how few in
proportion, are there worthy of the glorification of a Foreign Minister's
passport; albeit the three half-crowns may peep from between the
ready thumb and finger of the traveller, yearning to pay! For there
are three provisos, one of which must be achieved, ere the document
can be exchanged for the aforesaid seven-and-sixpence. Three pro-
vis s: namely—
I. The incipient traveller must be known to the Foreign Secretary
of State.
II. The would-be traveller, not knowing the Secretary, must get at
him through an acquaintance; otherwise, by knowing somebody who
knows him.
III. The prepared traveller, not knowing the Foreign Secretary of
State, and, further, being on so low a round of the social ladder, that-
miserable, depressed man!—he even knows not any fellow-biped
acquainted with the Minister; why, still there is hope for him ;—if he
can be recommended as a fit, decent, and proper person to cross the
seas, by " an eminent banker.3'
Having no banker, the man has no being ; that is, as being is inter-
preted and understood at the Foreign Office. And this is a very proper
definition of a nothing, a nobody, a nullus homo. And it is, moreover,
decent and wise that the English traveller should have his condition
translated in the polyglot of our Foreign Secretary; that the bearer's
passport should surround him with a halo of importance, as reflected
either from a personal acquaintance with the Foreign Minister—or from
an acquaintance with his acquaintance—or, what is possibly as
bright a glory, if even not a brighter aureole—from the cash account,
neld by an eminent English banker. Under either of these aspects,
the traveller is an interesting biped, awakening divers speculations
in the bosoms of douaniers and in the disinterested brain-pans of land-
lords and waiters. The Foreign Office passport is known to be in the
pocket of that very gentlemanly traveller; and one of these results
becomes the metaphysical property of certain people, as they believe,
concerned in the inquiry :
" Our Traveller knows Lord Palmerston. Haply goes to his
parties ; any way he is acquaint ed with his Lordship. If not—
"Our traveller is hand-and-glove with somebody who knows Lord
Palmerston so well that the traveller's friend, for all passport pur-
poses, need not know him at all. Or—
" Our Traveller has been recommended to the distinguished consi-
leration of the Foreign Office, by an eminent banker; who, no doubt,
takes care of the cash of that most interesting individual, newly crossed
the seas, and with the odour of London coal yet fresh upon him."
And the traveller, as he ought to do, vindicates abroad the human
dignity that we insist upon at home ; the dignity of human nature; for
an Englishman can hardly be said to walk upright, considering the stars,
who have no balance. Indeed, he can hardly be allowed a human con-
sideration and position. There are, we know, hundreds of thousands
of sign-post likenesses of men, who, having no banker, " eminent " or
otherwise, do notwithstanding pay their taxes ; but, after all, they are
but dumb dogs; for although they are compelled to pay—they have no
voice. In fact, your true Briton—like your true sovereign piece—is
only made at the Mint.
So preach Britons of one another ; and so to all the nations—through
its passports—shouts the Foreign Office.
THE JARGON OF GENTILITY NOT NEW.
Young ladies—and other persons of that kind—entertain a notion
that the language of our ancient law is rugged, harsh, rough, uncouth :
the reverse of everything that is genteel and refined. They know not
bow closely its phraseology resembles the labial delicacies, the tip-
tongue prettinesses of speech and elegant levities of style, resulting
from the admixture of foreign with native expressions in the language
prevalent in Belgravia, and thereabouts. Take, for instance, the fol-
lowing quotation—made in the House of Lords the other evening by
the Earl of St. Germans—from Moore's Reports:—
" 33 Elizabeth.—En le case cVun Manu que fui sue en le court Christian pour le
marier cCun de sea wives' sisters' daughters, et prohibition fait agard (awarded) quia tel
mariage n'est prohibite per le Levitical ley."
It will be seen that the dialect of the old courts is even more subli-
mated in its gentility than that of the modern drawing-rooms: being |
actually based on the Zephyrine tongue of France, and only garnished
or, more tastily to speak, ballasted, with the strong Saxon. Whereas,
in the salons, however recherch-e may be the discourse, the Saxon pre-
dominates, and the language of compliment, la cuisine, and la dame,
occupies only a secondary place in the hodge-podge.
MR. PUNCH'S POEM ON THE POLITICAL CRISIS.
Since Humpty Dumpty, whose immortal smash
A king's whole power could not repair at all,
Eyes have not witnessed such an awkward smash
To remedy, as Lord John's recent fall.
And what a task our gracious Queen has had.
Trying to mend a shattered Cabinet!
Why, 'twas enough to drive a Sovereign mad,
Whose crown had on a common head been set.
Suppose you had to join a broken dish,
With no cement at hand but gum or glue,
Wanting Poo-loo, Oh ! would you not cry " Pish ! "
And " Poo ! "—or worse than "Poo !"—without the loo?
Such botheration as yourself might feel,
About your fractured platter or tureen,
Has been experienced—more, perhaps, a deal—
During this plaguy crisis, by the Queen.
And yet, how many subjects of the realm—
How many liegemen—honest, wise, and true,
There are, who might be found to guide the helm,
And work the vessel, like a first-rate crew.
To satisfy the nation is the job !
Well; you might do it in an easy way :
Construct your budget so as not to rob
Income of more than it should fairly pay.
Take off, without reserve, the tax on light;
Further reduction, if you fear to try,
Extend the franchise—there you'll sure be right—
And see about retrenchment by-and-by.
The tax on bread pretend not to restore,
In fact, you'd not be able, if you wished;
Protection's shout is but an empty roar—
Disraeli knows, himself, the cause is dished.
As to the POpe, in England put him down—
Down, mind—don't play with him at fast and loose;
Let Ireland be • however sad to own,
The fact is, Paddy's Popery's gone goose.
This is the programme for the " Coming Man,"
Forthcoming who does not appear to be,
But will be, if, approving of his plan,
Her Majesty will only send for me.
A LATE LAMENTED PARTY.
The newspapers report a meeting of the County of Cambridge, which
was convened the other day, at Ely, for the purpose of considering what
could be done for Agriculture, in reference to her present embarrassed
circumstances. Unfortunately the assembly failed to suggest anythinf
that could be done, except the community at large, which it proposec
to do out of a tax on food. A sensible recommendation, however, was
delivered to the farmers by Mr. Ball, of Burwell—though, perhaps,
that gentleman did not intend his advice to be understood exactly as
Mr. Punch understands it. He declared, that,
"In answer to the threat of Sir James Graham, the Agriculturists ought to wave
aloft the banner of Protection, inscribed with the motto ' fieswgam.' "
Yes: Resurgam would be a good motto for the Protectionist
banner. So would Mors Janua Vita, or In medio vitce morte sumus,
or In CcpIo Quies; or any other inscription borrowed from a
hatchment. The great fact expressed by all such legends is that the
party is defunct.
The Unacknowledged Cabinet.
" Wt d' yer call this here Crisis a Hinterregnum ? " an individual
belonging to the inferior classes of wags was heard to demand. " With
Lord Stanley, and Lord John Russell, and Sir James Graham,
continually drivin' backards and forrads, ain't there a cabbin' it soin on
ail the wile?"
Yol. 20.
4
97
THE BRITISH BANKER ABROAD.
The new passport system is a most significant, and withal, a most
honourable characteristic of England. An English traveller moves
upon his banker, as his watch, to be worth anything, moves upon a
diamond. The price of the foreign passport—still to be had, whilst we
write, of Palmerston and Co.—is lowered to the small sum of 7s. 6d.
Three half-crowns fit the wanderer with a document that saves him
time and trouble on his way, rejoicing; and haply obtains of the
small folks in foreign office some additional momentary respect—some
transient smile or rudiment of a bow to the bearer. But of the
thousands of carpet-bagged Britons who cross the sea, how few in
proportion, are there worthy of the glorification of a Foreign Minister's
passport; albeit the three half-crowns may peep from between the
ready thumb and finger of the traveller, yearning to pay! For there
are three provisos, one of which must be achieved, ere the document
can be exchanged for the aforesaid seven-and-sixpence. Three pro-
vis s: namely—
I. The incipient traveller must be known to the Foreign Secretary
of State.
II. The would-be traveller, not knowing the Secretary, must get at
him through an acquaintance; otherwise, by knowing somebody who
knows him.
III. The prepared traveller, not knowing the Foreign Secretary of
State, and, further, being on so low a round of the social ladder, that-
miserable, depressed man!—he even knows not any fellow-biped
acquainted with the Minister; why, still there is hope for him ;—if he
can be recommended as a fit, decent, and proper person to cross the
seas, by " an eminent banker.3'
Having no banker, the man has no being ; that is, as being is inter-
preted and understood at the Foreign Office. And this is a very proper
definition of a nothing, a nobody, a nullus homo. And it is, moreover,
decent and wise that the English traveller should have his condition
translated in the polyglot of our Foreign Secretary; that the bearer's
passport should surround him with a halo of importance, as reflected
either from a personal acquaintance with the Foreign Minister—or from
an acquaintance with his acquaintance—or, what is possibly as
bright a glory, if even not a brighter aureole—from the cash account,
neld by an eminent English banker. Under either of these aspects,
the traveller is an interesting biped, awakening divers speculations
in the bosoms of douaniers and in the disinterested brain-pans of land-
lords and waiters. The Foreign Office passport is known to be in the
pocket of that very gentlemanly traveller; and one of these results
becomes the metaphysical property of certain people, as they believe,
concerned in the inquiry :
" Our Traveller knows Lord Palmerston. Haply goes to his
parties ; any way he is acquaint ed with his Lordship. If not—
"Our traveller is hand-and-glove with somebody who knows Lord
Palmerston so well that the traveller's friend, for all passport pur-
poses, need not know him at all. Or—
" Our Traveller has been recommended to the distinguished consi-
leration of the Foreign Office, by an eminent banker; who, no doubt,
takes care of the cash of that most interesting individual, newly crossed
the seas, and with the odour of London coal yet fresh upon him."
And the traveller, as he ought to do, vindicates abroad the human
dignity that we insist upon at home ; the dignity of human nature; for
an Englishman can hardly be said to walk upright, considering the stars,
who have no balance. Indeed, he can hardly be allowed a human con-
sideration and position. There are, we know, hundreds of thousands
of sign-post likenesses of men, who, having no banker, " eminent " or
otherwise, do notwithstanding pay their taxes ; but, after all, they are
but dumb dogs; for although they are compelled to pay—they have no
voice. In fact, your true Briton—like your true sovereign piece—is
only made at the Mint.
So preach Britons of one another ; and so to all the nations—through
its passports—shouts the Foreign Office.
THE JARGON OF GENTILITY NOT NEW.
Young ladies—and other persons of that kind—entertain a notion
that the language of our ancient law is rugged, harsh, rough, uncouth :
the reverse of everything that is genteel and refined. They know not
bow closely its phraseology resembles the labial delicacies, the tip-
tongue prettinesses of speech and elegant levities of style, resulting
from the admixture of foreign with native expressions in the language
prevalent in Belgravia, and thereabouts. Take, for instance, the fol-
lowing quotation—made in the House of Lords the other evening by
the Earl of St. Germans—from Moore's Reports:—
" 33 Elizabeth.—En le case cVun Manu que fui sue en le court Christian pour le
marier cCun de sea wives' sisters' daughters, et prohibition fait agard (awarded) quia tel
mariage n'est prohibite per le Levitical ley."
It will be seen that the dialect of the old courts is even more subli-
mated in its gentility than that of the modern drawing-rooms: being |
actually based on the Zephyrine tongue of France, and only garnished
or, more tastily to speak, ballasted, with the strong Saxon. Whereas,
in the salons, however recherch-e may be the discourse, the Saxon pre-
dominates, and the language of compliment, la cuisine, and la dame,
occupies only a secondary place in the hodge-podge.
MR. PUNCH'S POEM ON THE POLITICAL CRISIS.
Since Humpty Dumpty, whose immortal smash
A king's whole power could not repair at all,
Eyes have not witnessed such an awkward smash
To remedy, as Lord John's recent fall.
And what a task our gracious Queen has had.
Trying to mend a shattered Cabinet!
Why, 'twas enough to drive a Sovereign mad,
Whose crown had on a common head been set.
Suppose you had to join a broken dish,
With no cement at hand but gum or glue,
Wanting Poo-loo, Oh ! would you not cry " Pish ! "
And " Poo ! "—or worse than "Poo !"—without the loo?
Such botheration as yourself might feel,
About your fractured platter or tureen,
Has been experienced—more, perhaps, a deal—
During this plaguy crisis, by the Queen.
And yet, how many subjects of the realm—
How many liegemen—honest, wise, and true,
There are, who might be found to guide the helm,
And work the vessel, like a first-rate crew.
To satisfy the nation is the job !
Well; you might do it in an easy way :
Construct your budget so as not to rob
Income of more than it should fairly pay.
Take off, without reserve, the tax on light;
Further reduction, if you fear to try,
Extend the franchise—there you'll sure be right—
And see about retrenchment by-and-by.
The tax on bread pretend not to restore,
In fact, you'd not be able, if you wished;
Protection's shout is but an empty roar—
Disraeli knows, himself, the cause is dished.
As to the POpe, in England put him down—
Down, mind—don't play with him at fast and loose;
Let Ireland be • however sad to own,
The fact is, Paddy's Popery's gone goose.
This is the programme for the " Coming Man,"
Forthcoming who does not appear to be,
But will be, if, approving of his plan,
Her Majesty will only send for me.
A LATE LAMENTED PARTY.
The newspapers report a meeting of the County of Cambridge, which
was convened the other day, at Ely, for the purpose of considering what
could be done for Agriculture, in reference to her present embarrassed
circumstances. Unfortunately the assembly failed to suggest anythinf
that could be done, except the community at large, which it proposec
to do out of a tax on food. A sensible recommendation, however, was
delivered to the farmers by Mr. Ball, of Burwell—though, perhaps,
that gentleman did not intend his advice to be understood exactly as
Mr. Punch understands it. He declared, that,
"In answer to the threat of Sir James Graham, the Agriculturists ought to wave
aloft the banner of Protection, inscribed with the motto ' fieswgam.' "
Yes: Resurgam would be a good motto for the Protectionist
banner. So would Mors Janua Vita, or In medio vitce morte sumus,
or In CcpIo Quies; or any other inscription borrowed from a
hatchment. The great fact expressed by all such legends is that the
party is defunct.
The Unacknowledged Cabinet.
" Wt d' yer call this here Crisis a Hinterregnum ? " an individual
belonging to the inferior classes of wags was heard to demand. " With
Lord Stanley, and Lord John Russell, and Sir James Graham,
continually drivin' backards and forrads, ain't there a cabbin' it soin on
ail the wile?"
Yol. 20.
4