Punch (20.1851)

148

PUNCH. OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE MARBLE ARCH.

Classical Group which will, in all Probability, be on the Top of the Marble Arch by the First of May.

"What's the use of the Marble Arch?" is a question that even
Echo—who usually answers for everything and everybody—did not
condescend to reply to, until, the other day it was suggested that the
top of the Arch should be converted into a police station. Economy is
now so much the order of the day, that we wonder Temple Bar is not
assigned as a residence to the Lord Mayor, that the Mansion House
may be let out in separate beds for families and gentlemen. The
Beadle of Aldgate has, we understand, for some years, lived in Aldgate
Pump—upon, of course, a reduced salary; and we have heard it
rumoured that the two legs of the Bronze Achilles, in Hyde Park,
are being fitted up as barracks for a small detachment of Foot, that
will be on guard during the Exhibition.

There is, perhaps, no objection to housing a division of police in the
Marble Arch, provided the inhabitants do not interfere with the architec-
tural design, by putting their heads out of the window and breaking the
uniformity of the cornice, by a great staring police constable, rendered
more glaring, at night-time, by his terrific bull's eye. We suppose we
must expect the top of the Arch to be turned to some useful purpose by
the inhabitants, and that it will be impossible to keep the Inspector from
smoking his pipe; the Serjeant from nursing his baby; or the married
officer from assisting in the weekly washing operations by which he ekes
out his maintenance. The single constable will, of course, expect to take
his " lettered ease " over his newspaper, on the top of the Arch, which,
thus surmounted, will form an agreeable fore-ground to the Crystal Palace.

POLICE CASE EXTRAORDINARY.

Two lads, familiarly known as Charley and Jack, were charged
with attempting to pick the pocket of Mr. Joiik Bull, in the old high-
way. It appeared from the evidence of Special Constable Punch, that
he had been watching Mr. John Bull for some time, and, seeing the
prisoners with him, pretending to be his friends, he, the constable, was
afraid that Mr. John Bull had got into rather bad hands, and resolved
to keep his eye on what was going forward. Seeing the prisoners
shuffling about for some time, and going from side to side as if they did
not know what to do, the constable remained a little way behind, when,
suddenly, the prisoner Charley threw something over Mr. Bull's
head, and, from the effect, there could be no doubt that there was some
chloroform, or other stupifying matter, on the article alluded to. At
the yery same moment the other prisoner, Jack, approached the
gentleman's pockets, which were very full, and drew from him a long
purse marked with the word " Income."

On being asked what they had to say for themselves, both the pri-
soners were inclined to be rather insolent, and Charley said that he
was only offering the gentleman something to do him good; while as to
rns companion, he had only just met him.

Jack, when asked what he had to say to taking the money, declared
the gentleman owed it to him, and even if he didn't, he had got a

surplus—much more than he wanted for himself—and seeing it hang
out of his pocket, the opportunity was too tempting.

On inquiry being made whether the prisoners were known, it was
found that both had been in the service of the prosecutor, who said he
had not had much to complain of until lately, when both had become
rather neglectful. In fact, he feared they had been too long in
their places.

The prisoner Jack declared he had offered once to leave his situation,
but his master wouldn't let him. Both prisoners said the gentleman
was at liberty to suit himself, if he could, for they were, tired of his
service, and didn't want to stay with him any longer.

They were informed, that, however this might be, they must do their
duty as long as they remained; and they were remanded to a future
day, for further inquiry.

The Real Miracle of Rimini.

Mr. Drummond may say what he likes about the winking picture of
Rimini: but there is one miracle which it has unquestionably performed.
It certainly has opened the eyes of wavering Protestants.

Note and Query.—Whether the Scalds of Scandinavia are superior

to the Burns of Scotland ?