Punch (20.1851)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

YANKEE DOODLE IN 1851. According to the " New York Weekly Herald."

Yankee Doodle's come to town,

To see the Exhibition,
And strike a blow at England's Crown,

By stirring up sedition.
The New York Weekly Herald see,

Whose Editor's a noodle,
Or Queen Victoria's throne will be

Upset by Yankee Doodle.

Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, doodle, &c.

Old John Bull, our wares to show,

Invites our glorious nation,
And we've accepted, no ways slow,

The loafer's invitation.
We've produce to display, that shall

Amaze your cotton-spinner,—
Our native raw ma-te-ri-a/—

Our muscle, bone, and sinner.
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c.

That there stuff, them genuine goods,

The sile of Freedom reared on,
Cut out an empire from the woods,

The greatest ever heerd on.
Light work to fell the British Oak,

For arms with might so gifted !
The sleeves is tucked up for the stroke,

I guess the axe is lifted.
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c.

Yankee Doodle, in a ship,

Is come from New York city,
And if he should repent his trip,

I reckon it's a pity;
Of Socialists he brings a crew,

To kindle agitation;
Reds, Chartists, Anti-rent ists, too,

Who '11 preach repudiation.
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c.

Socialistic tracts, much more

Combustible than rockets,
Are stuffed, with bowie-knives in store,

In Yankee Doodle's pockets.
With schemes and projects for a new

Britannic constitution,
And plenty of revolvers, tu

Effect the revolution.
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c

Yankee Doodle builds his hopes

Upon the great dissensions
Of Britishers about the Pope's

Aggression and pretensions;
On Manufacture's every seat

So ready for rebelling
For very hunger—now that wheat

At such a price is selling!
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c.

Yankee Doodle is no fool,

He's up to all that's doing,
Full well he knows what Liverpool

And Manchester are brewing;
Their own republic they 're to form,

And cut the Queen's connexion;
And he intends to guide the storm,

And lead the insurrection.
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c.

A mob once sack'd the Tuileries.

Another might the Palace,
I realise, with perfect ease,

And never mind the gallows.
To get the troops engaged in Town

In quelling this commotion,
And then on Manchester drop down,

Is Yankee Doodle's notion.
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c.

Yankee Doodle's come to town.

In all his force and power,
He means to burn the Abbey down,

Bank, Parliament, and Tower.
Oh! yes—and fire the Thames as well,

Or, my ! what fibs e-tarnal
That catawampous print do tell!

Our screamin' New York jarnal.
Chorus.—Yankee Doodle, &c.

CURIOUS DIARY.

The other day, the police reports were lighted up by an extraordinary
gleam of sentimental interest. A swindler of no ordinary frauduleney
was found to have kept a journal in which his "doings" assumed quite
a pious and serious aspect. Devotion was associated with the ruin of
bakers, and the victimisation of coal-merchants. The whole, too, was
tinged with a certain ludicrous pathos. Melpomene's robes were used
to wrap up the firewood, fish, sofas, chairs, and champagne gained from
credulous tradesmen.—Now, by a curious accident, we have come in
possession of another Diary. It was picked up in the neighbourhood of
Downing Street!

" Monday. Brought on our Budget. Everybody grumbling. Hope
Fortune will not quite desert us.

" Tuesday. Mob crying, 'Give us pure coffee,' all day. Got in a crisis.
Nothing from Irish members. Attempt to turn us out by Stanley.

" Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, &c. Crisis, as usual. No help from
Netherby.

"—th inst. Fortune not quite deserted us. Keep the old house.
Sent for supplies.

"—th inst. Row as usual. Great noise about the mitres.

" —th inst. Impudent notice from one Balllie about some little place
in Ceylon. Dined with Ben, and talked it over.

" —th inst. Boys sad. Charles can't manage his funds. Fellows
knocking and ringing. Mob calling out, ' imbecile.'"

We are inclined to believe that the unhappy party will be on a very
serious trial before long.

BRAY FROM SMITHFIELD.

" My dear Knightley,

" I am not one of the common cattle. I am merely an Ass;
and, as such, in the course of my long life—(asses, you know, seldom
die)—I have been sold many times, in Smithfield. I have, therefore,
some knowledge of that serene and tranquil spot. And, Sir Charles,
you were right in your beautiful speech in Parliament t'other night.
There never was any accident in Smithfield: bullocks never were
crowded or goaded; and as for being driven through London, they liked
it—they had, at least, a glimpse of life before they were introduced to
the butchers ; and if they did toss a few old women, the old women
themselves liked the operation; however in the hospitals they might

Eretend to complain of it. Again, as you beautifully observed, Smith-
eld was not a fine lady question, fine ladies never being out of their
beds when the market begins ; and nursery-maids—as you touchingly
remarked—with their babies, had no business near the pens.

" Sorry am I that your beautiful speech did not have its full reward ;
nevertheless, should the franchise be extended to my order, depend
upon it you shall have, at the next election for Northamptonshire, the
voice of «v , ,

Yours truly, «adonket»

Vol. 20.

POISON IN THE PAPERS.

A certain young gentleman, a few years ago, in passing through a
somewhat disreputable thoroughfare, was moved by the fervour of
indignant decency to smash some windows wherein were exhibited
divers prints and pictures of continental character and vile tendency.
The zealous youth, by this act, obtained considerable sympathy, and no
little applause. The precedent, however, was dangerous ; and really, if
among the rising generation there are many such ingenuous and spirited
young fellows, it will be expedient that some particularly strong iron-
wire lattice or screen-work should be put up in front of the windows of
our newspaper offices.

The details of evidence, as exemplified by a recent instance, in
actions brought by gentlemen who have been injured in their marital
capacities, may give a zest to the breakfast of a man about town, but
are certainly very undesirable accompaniments to the coffee and rolls,
or tea and toast, eggs, rashers, Yarmouth bloaters, or Finnon haddocks,
of which comestibles wives and daughters are the partakers. It is not
easy to conceive what manner of persons such disclosures can edify,
except brutal sensualists, forensic students, morbid anatomists of human
nature, and very profound explorers of the theology of Peter Dens.
A rather more sketchy style of reporting trials involving details of
profligacy and vice, would much increase the eligibility of our journals
for family perusal.

"Club Snoring."

Such is the title of a pathetic complaint addressed by a sufferer from
the "Alfred Club," to the _/W, touching certain members who will
snore; and innocently asking of the Editor of the P. to abate the
nuisance. We think the evil may be met by practically carrying out the
subjoined resolution,—

Whereas,—Certain members are given to stertorous habits, to the
annoyance of members wide-awake; be it enacted, that the Waiters, on
report of any Member snoring, shall henceforth be empowered, one and
all, to—pull his nose."

cork horses.

The Cork journals announce an epidemic among the horses of that
city; and marvel at its origin. We, in our turn, marvel at their
ignorance. Was it not Lord John Russell who insinuated the
cholera into Ireland ?—it can be no other than he (but this we state in
confidence) who sends the glanders upon Ireland's horses. For further
information, apply to the members of the " Synod of Thurles."

A Pocket Protector.

A lady—yes, a lady—has invented an elastic ring (elastic, we pre-
sume, as opposed to that gold ring) for the protection of our pockets.
Any hand intruding therein, will be immediately caught. In how many
pockets will the hand of the Chancellor of the Exchequer be laid
hold of, "picking" the poor Clerk's Income-Tax!