DOI issue:
January to June, 1851
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16607#0192
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
185
REFINEMENT OF TORTURE.
ertain communica-
tions were recently
made to the Royal
Asiatic Society of
London, descrip-
tive of the modes
of punishment pe-
culiar to the crimi-
nal code of China.
A Chinese mer-
chant, convicted of
killinghis wife, was
sentenced to die by
the total depriva-
tion of sleep. We
cannot help think-
ing what a horrible
mode of punish-
ment this would
be, if carried out
in England. For
instance, could any
sentence be moie
terrible than the
following •—"Con-
demned to die by
the total depriva-
tion of sleep in the
House of Com-
mons ! " If it is
with difficulty we can avoid falling asleep
whilst reading the debates, what must it be
for a person who was condemned, for several |
successive days, to listen to them! But i
the sentence would be so revoltingly cruel, j
that it would require, at least, a Judge \ A HINT TO THE COMMISSIONERS.
Jeeferies, or a Poor Law Commissioner, to
nronounce it. " Mon Dieu, Alphonse ! Regardez-donc Comment appele-t-on cette Machine-la ?
" TlENS, c'est droi.E-mais je ne sats pas."
HOUSE OF CALL FOR BEAUX.
The number of persons likely to visit London this year has been
calculated almost to a child.
The number of ladies, it has likewise been calculated, will probably
exceed the number of gentlemen by a proportion of, at least, 5 to 1.
This is very agreeable; but the question is, how shall we be able to
entertain so many ladies ? Are there beaux enough to escort them
about town ?
It is a very well-known and painful fact, that the beaux are a very
limited class. It is believed that they went out of existence with the
hackney-coaches ; at all events, you may walk for miles before you meet
with one. If, then, the supply is scarcely sufficient to meet the present
demand, what will it be when there are another million of ladies im-
ported into London ? There will barely be one beau to every thirty
families!
From the above analysis it is perfectly clear, that, whilst one family
is being shown the marvellous wonders of our Metropolis, twenty-nine
will have to stop quietly at home. It is out of compassion to those
twenty-nine families that we trouble ourselves to make the following
proposition:—
We propose that the names of all the available beaux about London
be collected, and inserted alphabetically, with their heights, and colour
of their hair, in a Register to be called "The Beaux of all Nations:'
This being done—and the regulation that no Beau should exceed the
age of forty-nine, being strictly adhered to—certain houses should be
taken in the leading thoroughfares about London, where those Registers
should be kept; so that they might be consulted by mammas and
chaperons, at all hours of the day.
The small fee of One Shilling should be paid upon each consultation
—or subscriptions for the month, or season, might be allowed at an
economical rate, entitling the subscriber to an unlimited inspection of
the Registers.
The Beaux should be divided into Three Classes.
The First Class should be City, or Walking Beaux.
The Second should be West-End, or Carriage Beaux.
And the Third, Opera Beaux—warranted good for evening parties,
pic-nics, horticultural and botanical fetes, and if need be, Almacks.
The name and address—and, when it will stand the test of inquiry,
the pedigree also—of every Beau to be carefully kept in the Register.
As an indispensable condition, every Beau must be well dressed, and
partially good-looking.
To facilitate reference, portraits might be appended by the side of file-
name ; or, better still, in order to avoid unpleasant shocks, and guard'
against disappointments, a small assortment of beaux could be kept,,
ready gloved or spurred, as samples, for inspection in the Office, similar
to the plan adopted at many of the Servants' Bazaars.
The rate of subscription should be very moderate, and there should
be family subscriptions, as at circulating libraries, to enable a family,,
where there are many young ladies, to change their sets of beaux as
often as they please in the course of the day. A higher rate should be
charged for beaux with polished leather boots and white kid gloves.
French beaux to be taken only with the very best references ; and no ■
Irish beaux allowed.
Every beau should be well accomplished in all the small talk current
about town ; should command a smattering of one or two continental
languages ; should be walking directories of the districts in which their
services would be required; should have a general knowledge of shopping
and should not be above, if occasion required, carrying a lady's poodle.
Some such valuable institution like the above will be nee ded, or
else the streets of London, during the forthcoming gay season, will be
robbed of some of their brightest ornaments, from the fact of nineteen-
twentieths of our female visitors not being able to venture out of doors
for the want of a proper beau to accompany them. Whereas, with a
" House of Call for Beaux of all Nations" mamma would have only to
walk into the Office, and settle the difficulty at once, by calling " the
First Beau off the Bench ! "
A Trifle from Sandwich.
Among the most interesting objects in the Great Exhibition, will be
found a wonderful specimen of the most elaborate carving—consisting
of nothing less than a ham, carved into 5000 slices of the most delicate
texture, by a waiter at Vauxhall. He has employed his leisure hours
for the last twenty years in completing this extraordinary triumph of
the art of carving, and so beautiful is the workmanship, that the
material is rendered quite transparent; the minutest fibre is plainly
traceable ; and how there is substance enough left to hold together, is
the source of universal astonishment among all who have seen this
marvellous piece of waiter-craft.
185
REFINEMENT OF TORTURE.
ertain communica-
tions were recently
made to the Royal
Asiatic Society of
London, descrip-
tive of the modes
of punishment pe-
culiar to the crimi-
nal code of China.
A Chinese mer-
chant, convicted of
killinghis wife, was
sentenced to die by
the total depriva-
tion of sleep. We
cannot help think-
ing what a horrible
mode of punish-
ment this would
be, if carried out
in England. For
instance, could any
sentence be moie
terrible than the
following •—"Con-
demned to die by
the total depriva-
tion of sleep in the
House of Com-
mons ! " If it is
with difficulty we can avoid falling asleep
whilst reading the debates, what must it be
for a person who was condemned, for several |
successive days, to listen to them! But i
the sentence would be so revoltingly cruel, j
that it would require, at least, a Judge \ A HINT TO THE COMMISSIONERS.
Jeeferies, or a Poor Law Commissioner, to
nronounce it. " Mon Dieu, Alphonse ! Regardez-donc Comment appele-t-on cette Machine-la ?
" TlENS, c'est droi.E-mais je ne sats pas."
HOUSE OF CALL FOR BEAUX.
The number of persons likely to visit London this year has been
calculated almost to a child.
The number of ladies, it has likewise been calculated, will probably
exceed the number of gentlemen by a proportion of, at least, 5 to 1.
This is very agreeable; but the question is, how shall we be able to
entertain so many ladies ? Are there beaux enough to escort them
about town ?
It is a very well-known and painful fact, that the beaux are a very
limited class. It is believed that they went out of existence with the
hackney-coaches ; at all events, you may walk for miles before you meet
with one. If, then, the supply is scarcely sufficient to meet the present
demand, what will it be when there are another million of ladies im-
ported into London ? There will barely be one beau to every thirty
families!
From the above analysis it is perfectly clear, that, whilst one family
is being shown the marvellous wonders of our Metropolis, twenty-nine
will have to stop quietly at home. It is out of compassion to those
twenty-nine families that we trouble ourselves to make the following
proposition:—
We propose that the names of all the available beaux about London
be collected, and inserted alphabetically, with their heights, and colour
of their hair, in a Register to be called "The Beaux of all Nations:'
This being done—and the regulation that no Beau should exceed the
age of forty-nine, being strictly adhered to—certain houses should be
taken in the leading thoroughfares about London, where those Registers
should be kept; so that they might be consulted by mammas and
chaperons, at all hours of the day.
The small fee of One Shilling should be paid upon each consultation
—or subscriptions for the month, or season, might be allowed at an
economical rate, entitling the subscriber to an unlimited inspection of
the Registers.
The Beaux should be divided into Three Classes.
The First Class should be City, or Walking Beaux.
The Second should be West-End, or Carriage Beaux.
And the Third, Opera Beaux—warranted good for evening parties,
pic-nics, horticultural and botanical fetes, and if need be, Almacks.
The name and address—and, when it will stand the test of inquiry,
the pedigree also—of every Beau to be carefully kept in the Register.
As an indispensable condition, every Beau must be well dressed, and
partially good-looking.
To facilitate reference, portraits might be appended by the side of file-
name ; or, better still, in order to avoid unpleasant shocks, and guard'
against disappointments, a small assortment of beaux could be kept,,
ready gloved or spurred, as samples, for inspection in the Office, similar
to the plan adopted at many of the Servants' Bazaars.
The rate of subscription should be very moderate, and there should
be family subscriptions, as at circulating libraries, to enable a family,,
where there are many young ladies, to change their sets of beaux as
often as they please in the course of the day. A higher rate should be
charged for beaux with polished leather boots and white kid gloves.
French beaux to be taken only with the very best references ; and no ■
Irish beaux allowed.
Every beau should be well accomplished in all the small talk current
about town ; should command a smattering of one or two continental
languages ; should be walking directories of the districts in which their
services would be required; should have a general knowledge of shopping
and should not be above, if occasion required, carrying a lady's poodle.
Some such valuable institution like the above will be nee ded, or
else the streets of London, during the forthcoming gay season, will be
robbed of some of their brightest ornaments, from the fact of nineteen-
twentieths of our female visitors not being able to venture out of doors
for the want of a proper beau to accompany them. Whereas, with a
" House of Call for Beaux of all Nations" mamma would have only to
walk into the Office, and settle the difficulty at once, by calling " the
First Beau off the Bench ! "
A Trifle from Sandwich.
Among the most interesting objects in the Great Exhibition, will be
found a wonderful specimen of the most elaborate carving—consisting
of nothing less than a ham, carved into 5000 slices of the most delicate
texture, by a waiter at Vauxhall. He has employed his leisure hours
for the last twenty years in completing this extraordinary triumph of
the art of carving, and so beautiful is the workmanship, that the
material is rendered quite transparent; the minutest fibre is plainly
traceable ; and how there is substance enough left to hold together, is
the source of universal astonishment among all who have seen this
marvellous piece of waiter-craft.