DOI Heft:
January to June, 1851
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16607#0198
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
191
Not the least interesting incident of the day was a little bit of by-
play between the Duke of Wellington and the Marquess of
Anglesey, who, when preparing to form the procession, engaged in a
slight contest, or rather passage, of arms, one attempting to pass the
arm of the other through his own as the privilege due to seniority.
The Duke eventually succeeded in causing the Marquess to surrender
his arm, which the latter never did before; and the two veterans, who
had been often side by side on the field of battle, proceeded side by
side among the triumphs of the peaceful contest of Industry.
a SKETCH MADE AT THE OPENING OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.
We have left ourselves no space, had our emotions left us inclination,
to notice all, or any, of the wonders of the Great Exhibition, to which we
hope often to go, for the profit, not of ourselves alone, but of the public,
whom we mean to make our constant companions in our numerous anti-
cipated visits. We could not help, however, being struck by the glaring
contrast between large pretension and little performance, as exemplified
in the dreary and empty aspect of the large space claimed by and allotted
to America. An enormous banner betokened the whole of the east end
as devoted to the United States; but what was our astonishment, on
arriving there, to find that their contribution to the world's industry
consists as yet of a few wine-glasses, a square or two of soap, and a pair
of salt-cellars! For a calculating people, our friends the Americans are
thus far terribly out in their calculations.
THE ROTATION OF THE EARTH.
To the Editor of " Punch."
"Sir,—Allow me to call your serious and polite attention to the
extraordinary phenomenon, demonstrating the rotation of the Earth,
which I at this present moment experience, and you yourself or anybody
else, I have not the slightest doubt, would be satisfied of, under similar
circumstances. Some sceptical and obstinate individuals may doubt
that the Earth's motion is visible, but I say from personal observation
it's a positive fact.
" I don't care about latitude or longitude, or a vibratory pendulum
revolving round the sine of a tangent on a spherical surface, nor axes,
nor apsides, nor anything of the sort. That is all rubbish. All I know
is, I see the ceiling of this coffee-room going round. I perceive this
distinctly with the naked eye—only my sight has been sharpened by a
slight stimulant. I write after my sixth go of brandy-and-water, whereof
witness my hand, "Swiggins."
" Goose and Gridiron, Map 5th., 1851."
" P. S. Why do two waiters come when I only call one ? "
%* We hope our correspondent did not conclude his evening in the
station-house.—Punch.
THE INCOME-TAX.
A SCENE FROM PUNCH'S "FAUSTUS."
Scene.—The Interior of the Chancellor of the Exchequer's
Office in Downing Street. Mephistopheles solus.
Meph. The sturdy Moralist up yonder knew
Who the first Whig was. Anyhow, we 're stanch!
'Twere mean and shabby to desert one's own
In time, of need. My friend that sleeps within
In me has one, at least, to take his part.
They are at hand.
[Disguises himself as the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
What he would do without me
The Deuce knows—or he should know—for I don't.
So ! [Enter Deputation of Sufferers to complain of the Income-Tat;
Now, your pleasure, worthy gentlemen?
1*^ Svf. Right honourable Sir, we come to crave
A due adjustment of the Income-Tax,
Whose most unequal pressure galls us sore,
And cripples our small means.
Meph. Thy calling, friend ?
1st Suf. Sir, a poor Author.
Meph. Poor ! What say'st thou ? Poor ?
Thank Luck thou hast an Income-Tax to pay!
And thine ?
2nd Suf A Tailor, Sir.
Meph. Poor sufferer!
Yet, 'tis not hard for thee to clip and pare.
Come, cut thy coat according to thy cloth.
Of what complain ye ?
1st Suf. Sir, that our hard earnings
No less a tax than rent or interest pay :
Which, pinching Income, spares fat Property.
Meph. What property hast thou ?
1st Suff. Just half-a-crown,
Within this poke : the rest my brain must earn.
Meph. Well; then thy Income is thy Property,
And it is Property in thee that pays.
2nd Suff. But pays a vast deal more than Stock or Land.
Meph. What then?
'drd Suff. We 're cozened, cheated, swindled, robbed.
Meph. Sweet Sir, fair words. Pray do we rob the lamb
Because we don't—or you don't—shear the pig ?
Dost e'er eat mutton ?
3rd Suff. Ay, when I can get it,
Which is not always—thank your Schedule D.
Meph. Thou eatest mutton—and thou hast the face
To grumble for that thou art victimised !
Victimisation is a law of Nature :
Victims there must be—hares, and deer, and doves,
As well as hawks and eagles, hounds and squires.
1st Suff. The stronger back should bear the heavier burden.
Meph. Ay—but the greater strength will throw it off.
You'd have the tax on Income justly shared
By Property that laid it on; a boon
Which I can only wish that you may get.
lsz? Suff. Evasion, therefore, is our sole resource;
Cheated, to cheat; encounter fraud by fraud,
Extortion meet by lies ; and as we 're done-
Meph. To do. [Botes them oiit
" TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION/'
Therb has recently been a cattle-show in Dublin, and we congra-
tulate the sister country on being able to produce a supply, however
small, of fat stock of any kind. We must, however, object to the per-
sonality shown in the following bond tide extracts from the printed
catalogue :—
" 26. R. Moore O'Farbbll, Esq., M.P.—[A foreign Ass, from Malta.J
" 636. Jambs Fagan, Esq., M.P., Malahide.—[A Fat Pig.]
"678. Aldbbman Gbesham.—[One of the largest Hog Pigs in Ireland.!"
Surely there must be something more than mere coincidence in these
remarkable items. We could get over "Moore O'Farrell, Esq.,
M.P.. a foreign ass from Malta," as a possibility; but when we come to
the alderman, " one of the largest hog-pigs m Ireland." we fear there is
a little playful malignity in the case that is scarcely excasaDie.
Too Much of a Good Thing.
The Protectionists at Drury Lane in the morning—The Robbers
Drury Lane at night! Why give us the same performance, Mr. Ancer
son, twice on one day? Or is this but the Drury Lane revival oi
T/ie Rivals.
191
Not the least interesting incident of the day was a little bit of by-
play between the Duke of Wellington and the Marquess of
Anglesey, who, when preparing to form the procession, engaged in a
slight contest, or rather passage, of arms, one attempting to pass the
arm of the other through his own as the privilege due to seniority.
The Duke eventually succeeded in causing the Marquess to surrender
his arm, which the latter never did before; and the two veterans, who
had been often side by side on the field of battle, proceeded side by
side among the triumphs of the peaceful contest of Industry.
a SKETCH MADE AT THE OPENING OF THE GREAT EXHIBITION.
We have left ourselves no space, had our emotions left us inclination,
to notice all, or any, of the wonders of the Great Exhibition, to which we
hope often to go, for the profit, not of ourselves alone, but of the public,
whom we mean to make our constant companions in our numerous anti-
cipated visits. We could not help, however, being struck by the glaring
contrast between large pretension and little performance, as exemplified
in the dreary and empty aspect of the large space claimed by and allotted
to America. An enormous banner betokened the whole of the east end
as devoted to the United States; but what was our astonishment, on
arriving there, to find that their contribution to the world's industry
consists as yet of a few wine-glasses, a square or two of soap, and a pair
of salt-cellars! For a calculating people, our friends the Americans are
thus far terribly out in their calculations.
THE ROTATION OF THE EARTH.
To the Editor of " Punch."
"Sir,—Allow me to call your serious and polite attention to the
extraordinary phenomenon, demonstrating the rotation of the Earth,
which I at this present moment experience, and you yourself or anybody
else, I have not the slightest doubt, would be satisfied of, under similar
circumstances. Some sceptical and obstinate individuals may doubt
that the Earth's motion is visible, but I say from personal observation
it's a positive fact.
" I don't care about latitude or longitude, or a vibratory pendulum
revolving round the sine of a tangent on a spherical surface, nor axes,
nor apsides, nor anything of the sort. That is all rubbish. All I know
is, I see the ceiling of this coffee-room going round. I perceive this
distinctly with the naked eye—only my sight has been sharpened by a
slight stimulant. I write after my sixth go of brandy-and-water, whereof
witness my hand, "Swiggins."
" Goose and Gridiron, Map 5th., 1851."
" P. S. Why do two waiters come when I only call one ? "
%* We hope our correspondent did not conclude his evening in the
station-house.—Punch.
THE INCOME-TAX.
A SCENE FROM PUNCH'S "FAUSTUS."
Scene.—The Interior of the Chancellor of the Exchequer's
Office in Downing Street. Mephistopheles solus.
Meph. The sturdy Moralist up yonder knew
Who the first Whig was. Anyhow, we 're stanch!
'Twere mean and shabby to desert one's own
In time, of need. My friend that sleeps within
In me has one, at least, to take his part.
They are at hand.
[Disguises himself as the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
What he would do without me
The Deuce knows—or he should know—for I don't.
So ! [Enter Deputation of Sufferers to complain of the Income-Tat;
Now, your pleasure, worthy gentlemen?
1*^ Svf. Right honourable Sir, we come to crave
A due adjustment of the Income-Tax,
Whose most unequal pressure galls us sore,
And cripples our small means.
Meph. Thy calling, friend ?
1st Suf. Sir, a poor Author.
Meph. Poor ! What say'st thou ? Poor ?
Thank Luck thou hast an Income-Tax to pay!
And thine ?
2nd Suf A Tailor, Sir.
Meph. Poor sufferer!
Yet, 'tis not hard for thee to clip and pare.
Come, cut thy coat according to thy cloth.
Of what complain ye ?
1st Suf. Sir, that our hard earnings
No less a tax than rent or interest pay :
Which, pinching Income, spares fat Property.
Meph. What property hast thou ?
1st Suff. Just half-a-crown,
Within this poke : the rest my brain must earn.
Meph. Well; then thy Income is thy Property,
And it is Property in thee that pays.
2nd Suff. But pays a vast deal more than Stock or Land.
Meph. What then?
'drd Suff. We 're cozened, cheated, swindled, robbed.
Meph. Sweet Sir, fair words. Pray do we rob the lamb
Because we don't—or you don't—shear the pig ?
Dost e'er eat mutton ?
3rd Suff. Ay, when I can get it,
Which is not always—thank your Schedule D.
Meph. Thou eatest mutton—and thou hast the face
To grumble for that thou art victimised !
Victimisation is a law of Nature :
Victims there must be—hares, and deer, and doves,
As well as hawks and eagles, hounds and squires.
1st Suff. The stronger back should bear the heavier burden.
Meph. Ay—but the greater strength will throw it off.
You'd have the tax on Income justly shared
By Property that laid it on; a boon
Which I can only wish that you may get.
lsz? Suff. Evasion, therefore, is our sole resource;
Cheated, to cheat; encounter fraud by fraud,
Extortion meet by lies ; and as we 're done-
Meph. To do. [Botes them oiit
" TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION/'
Therb has recently been a cattle-show in Dublin, and we congra-
tulate the sister country on being able to produce a supply, however
small, of fat stock of any kind. We must, however, object to the per-
sonality shown in the following bond tide extracts from the printed
catalogue :—
" 26. R. Moore O'Farbbll, Esq., M.P.—[A foreign Ass, from Malta.J
" 636. Jambs Fagan, Esq., M.P., Malahide.—[A Fat Pig.]
"678. Aldbbman Gbesham.—[One of the largest Hog Pigs in Ireland.!"
Surely there must be something more than mere coincidence in these
remarkable items. We could get over "Moore O'Farrell, Esq.,
M.P.. a foreign ass from Malta," as a possibility; but when we come to
the alderman, " one of the largest hog-pigs m Ireland." we fear there is
a little playful malignity in the case that is scarcely excasaDie.
Too Much of a Good Thing.
The Protectionists at Drury Lane in the morning—The Robbers
Drury Lane at night! Why give us the same performance, Mr. Ancer
son, twice on one day? Or is this but the Drury Lane revival oi
T/ie Rivals.