Punch (20.1851)

254

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE PICK LOCK QUESTION.

ndoubtedly, ingenuity and science are
all very well, but we do not like to
see them taking the direction of skill
in housebreaking. Messrs. Bramah
and Chubb are inviting all the world
to pick—and choose—their Locks;
and as art always invites imitation,
we have no doubt that the taste for
lock-picking—which is already quite
common enough—will extend among
a class where perfection in the opera-
tion is not at all to be desired. Jt is
said that an American gentleman is
now in town for the purpose of pick-
ing Mb,. Bramah's celebrated Picca-
dilly Lock, and we have good autho-
rity for stating, that several less
respectable individuals are also now
" in town " for lock-picking purposes.
Among the arrivals by the railway
last week was Bill Downey, the
celebrated Lancashire cracksman,
who purposes a series of experiments
on all sorts of locks during the pre-
sent season; while all the principal Metropolitan artists in the same
line are, of course, upon their metal—that is to say, upon the metal
of the locksmiths.

As lock-picking is now being cultivated as a science, we begin
to fear that the police may hesitate to interfere, when they see an
individual engaged in an ingenious operation on a street-door; and
who, if interrupted by the force, may protest against any obstruction
being thrown in the way of an artistic experiment. Juries may hesitate
to commit, and judges may be reluctant to sentence, an individual who,
having been taken in the act of picking a lock and entering a house, may-
plead that they were worked up by the pick-lock controversy now going
on in the newspapers, to try their own hands at an achievement, which,
from the high characters of the persons engaged in it, ought to be
thoroughly respectable. To be found with skeleton keys in one's pos-
session has, hitherto, been deemed an offence; but those implements
may, henceforth, be quite as characteristic of the man of science as
of the housebreaker.

A VOICE FROM THE JEWEL CAGE IN THE CRYSTAL

PALACE.

"Mb. Punch,

" Stones are allowed to cry out, on great provocation. As
a precious stone, I avail myself of that privilege. The French have an
opera called Les Diamans de la Couronne ; and some persons, whether
or not, after the too common fashion of English dramatists, in imitation
of their neighbours, I do not know, have been getting up a farce which
may be entitled The Crown Diamonds. Of this facetious production I
find myself made the hero, to my great annoyance. Some get up one
fine morning and find themselves famous. The other day, I rose from
out my safe, and discovered myself to have lost my reputation; I, who
till lately was the cynosure of all the brightest eyes in the Exhibition,
am now a mark for the finger of scorn. It is said aloud, in my hearing,
that I am a hoax, a hum, no Mountain of Light, but a lump of glass-
punsters call me a transparent imposture. After having passed from
throne to tin one, from dynasty to dynasty, unsullied for a moment by
the breath of suspicion, to have my pretensions called in question by
the populace in Hyde Park, is too much. I fondly hoped I had taken
the shme out of the prerogative of mercy itself, and was regularly
installed as the brightest jewel of the British Crown.

" I was grievously treated in my cutting, for which I was avenged ;
but, alas ! for European justice, there is nobody to be impaled, or
hanged, or even beheaded, for inflicting on me this unkindest cut of all.
Steps, it is true, are to be taken to vindicate my good name, which is
the immediate jewel of my soul—or essence as a gem. I am to be
lighted up with gas, in order that my coruscations may proclaim me to
be veritable crystallised carbon. This is treating me with indignity,
Mr Punch; no meaner radiance than the flashes of your wit can
I allow to be worthy to illuminate

"The Koh-i-Noob.

" P. S. Would you believe it ? I have just been termed, by a grinning
wretch, the Knave of Diamonds."

Charles the Second's Ball.

Historical Character for Cardinal Wiseman. — The Great
Plague of London.

THE COUNTRY CLERGYMAN TO HIS ELOCK.

A Ballad of the Exhibition, founded on {oery creditable) Fact.
See the Times of June 13th.
Tone.—" Gee ho, Dobbin."

Come, put on the best gown, and the cleanest smock frocx,
And we '11 make an excursion, both Parson and Flock ;
A day of your labour each master will spare,
And we '11 go up together to see the World's Fair—
Lads and lasses,
Labouring classes,
You, my good folks, its enjoyment shall share.

One-and-sixpence apiece will be all you've to pay,
Your wealthier neighbours the rest will defray;
You've saved up the money, I'm happy to hear,
By giving up smoking, and guzzle, and beer.

All so steady;

You've the " ready,"
Stored for the Show of this wonderful year.

By the train in the morning, betimes, we'll take flight,
And return the same way to the village ere night;
For we now rather faster are able to go
Than your forefathers' pace, on the turnpike, so slow;

Forced to drag on,

By their waggon,
Whistling, and crying Gee up ! and Gee oh!

From hedging and ditching they never could budge,
And all their lives long they did nothing but drudge
At the tail of the plough, or the side of the cart;
But you '11 visit the great Crystal Palace of Art,—

View its treasures,

Taste its pleasures,
Charming the eye and expanding the heart.

Some foreigners there you may happen to note,

Looking each with his beard like an old Billy-goat;

We shall learn from the strangers, whose works Ave're to view,

And our friends with the beards we shall teach something too,

Man and Master,

Flock and Pastor,
Farmer and Ploughman ; your Parson and you.

The lesson they'll learn will be taught by the sight
How, on true social principles, Britons unite,—■
Where the rich help the poor, and all make common cause,
They will see there is no need of Communist laws.

Best of preaching

Is the teaching
Showing the wherefore, and why, and because.

And, my brethren in sables and hly-white stocks,
I believe, if we all gain the hearts of our flocks,
That the Pope, or the Deuce, we may safely defy;
So—although it is latish—let all of us try.

Thus beginning,

Affections winning,
Our reward is sure—somewhere, at least—by-and-by.

THE FORCE OF EXAMPLE.

We are happy to be able to record an extraordinary inskince of
liberality on the part of Mb. Dun up, who seems to have entered com-
pletely into the current of benevolence that has had its source in the
Great'Exhibition. Having heard that employers generally are enabling
those in their service to visit the Crystal Palace, Ma. Dunup called for
his laundress's account up to quarter-day last, and finding a balance
due to her of ten pounds three, lie liberally paid off the odd shillings—
as an instalment—to enable her to visit the Great Exhibition.

Mb. Briefless has in view a financial operation of some intricacy,
that will allow him to give his clerk the advantage of seeing the World's
Fair in a day or two. It would be premature, perhaps, to explain the
nature of the arrangement proposed, lout we can say with confidence that
it will be on the basis of mutual accommodation. Mb. Briefless, fol-
lowing the example of the Government with regard to colonial Judges,
who during leave of absence forfeit half their salaries, will possibly call
upon bis clerk to forfeit half bis week's salary during a week's holiday,
which will place half-a-crown at the disposal of Mr. Briefless. Out
of this funcf the learned gentleman will call upon his clerk to hand over
one shilling only in ready cash, leaving him one-and-sixpence for himself,
which will enable him to spend a day at the Crystal Palace.