Punch: Punch (21.1851)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

21

A SECOND JOURNEY ROUND THE WORLD.

glare of noonday, you are not tumbling over each other in the pitchj
darkness of midnight. We bask in the same gas, we enjoy the same
stifling heat; neither do we walk, as we should be walking on this
Globe, with our feet directly opposite to your feet—which might be
very inconvenient for you, unless you had the faculty, peculiar to flies
and certain dwarfs, of walking along the ceiling without tumbling off.
Mr. Wyld has shown a very great impartiality, we think, in extending,
in his Globe, the same advantages to both Antipodes—which is a
superiority over many exhibitions, where, finding yourself at the very
antipodes of intelligence, you hardly know whether you are standing
on your head or your heels.

Mb. Wyld's Globe has another immeasurable superiority, and that
is, a person can remain in it a whole day, and it will only cost him One
Shilling. When shall we be able to live in this World for a Shilling
a day?

E have read somewhere the
profound remark of a Gascon,
" that there was no place
where so much was to be
seen as in the World."

This profound remark has
induced us to take a Second
Journey round the World in
Leicester Square,—and the
following are the valuable
discoveries we have made.

There are but nine fixed
inhabitants in the World.
These consist of one Check-
taker ; four Guides, with
long wands ; one Page, with
dazzling bright buttons • one (See the Roman news in the Tinel of June 18-)

Night-porter, to prevent any one setting the World on fare; and two
Charwomen, who, long: before the World is stirring, put their scrubbing-
brushes round the World in quicker time than Ariel could put her
girdle round it.

The language spoken by these inhabitants is a singular mixture of
English, Scotch, and Irish—the latter predominating very largely in
the mouths of the charwomen.

It is false to say that the Globe moves. We hope we shall not be
imprisoned for this' new truth, as Galileo was for his. We maintain
that the Earth does not move—and it is lucky it does not—or else the
Equestrian Statue, which is buried underneath in the centre of the
Globe, would come tumbling out of the top, and be smashing all the
World to pieces. As for the Rotation of the Earth, we were so com-
pletely convinced ol the fallacy, that we never tried a single experiment
to test the truth of it. The only rotation we witnessed was performed
by a drunken cabman, who could not find the entrance of the Earth,
and kept going round and round Leicester Square at least half-a-dozen
times before he could find it.

The night and morning of Mb,. Wyld's Earth differ from our night
and morning, inasmuch as the morning commences when the gas is
turned on, and night begins as soon as the gas is turned off, which is
]ust the reverse with the world we live in.

At night a heavy dew falls upon the Earth from the watering-pot,
with which the Night-porter goes from floor to floor to sprinkle the
four quarters of the Globe; for, as there are four staircases inside
at equal distances, we suppose they are put up to represent the four
quarters of the Globe.

We discovered there was no morning, or day, on the Sunday, except-
ing when the porter left in charge turned on his bull's-eye to enable
him to read his Sunday paper. With the exception of those brief
glimpses of sunshine, universal darkness reigns upon the Earth from
Saturday night to Monday morniDg.

The length of the day averages generally from "10 until dusk." The
longest day is generally a wet one, when not a person comes to visit
the exhibition—the shortest, when the tide of population runs in so
fast, that it is difficult for the Check-taker to take the shillings suffi-
ciently quick.

The population of the World varies a great deal. Sometimes it is
greater, sometimes less. The. Census, however, is taken every evening
by the Treasurer, who fetches away the money-box. As many shillings
as are found in the box, so many persons have been in the World that
day. The machine for taking the Census resembles the toll-gate at
Waterloo Bridge. It has one drawback, for it marks just the same for
bad money as for good. Now every bad shilling taken knocks a human
being off the Census. Consequently, if nothing but bad. shillings were
taken, the Returns of the Population of the World, for that day, would
be exactly Nil—which would be too absurd even for Mr. Malthus.

You travel round the Earth by degrees; for as the big staircase
inside is rather steep, you cannot get through it for a minute. The
degrees of longitude are calculated in the easiest manner by a person
reckoning by his watch how long it takes different persons to reach the
summit of the Exhibition; but the degrees of latitude vary a great
deal, as it is found that one person, especially if he be a medical
student or an Irishman? will take so much more latitude than another.

Mr. Wyld's Earth is nearer the Sun than our Earth by at least
150 feet—which, we believe, is the height of the building. This will
account for its being so much hotter at the North Pole than it is at the
Equator, or on the pavement in Leicester Square. There is no fear,
however, of Mr. Wyld's Earth coming in contact with the Sun, any
sooner than our own—and supposing it does, it nas the advantage, we
are told, of being fully insured in the Eire Office of that name.

There are Antipodes in Mr. Wyld's Globe as on ours ; that is to say,
if you are at the South Pole, and we are walking over your head at the
North, you are ourAntipod.es—but then, we are not subject to the same
laws as the Antipodes of this Globe. Por instance, if it is summer with
o*. it is not winter with you. If we are strolling about in the broad

SHOOTING EOR THE POPE.

In Rome, some days ago,

There was done a glorious deed,
In the Place " del Popolo,"
Where two People's men did bleed
By the bullets of the French, free and brave
To the Pontiff who were lent
By their noble Government,
And their Roman brethren went

To enslave.

These mutineers had kicked

Against the lance that, held them down,
Spurned the foot they should have licked,
As before the Papal Crown
They abased themselves to earth with bated breath;
But instead, their fury rose,
And they flew upon their foes;—
Should not fellows such as those

Die the death?

The leaders of the land,

Which is Priestcraft's present hope,
On his throne by the strong hand
Who uphold their Lord the Pope,
His Viceroy of this world whose realm is not,
Sat in judgment by the right
That's identical with might,
And condemned each rebel wight

To be shot!

"Dulce et decorum, est"

In a martyr's grave to lie ;
Who would wish a death more blest
Than " pro patrid mori ? "
Sarmonei and Savini, can it be
That the muffled drum so drear
Told your sacrifice was near?
Sure, the Frenchmen played " Mourir

Pour la Patrie."

The Gallic legions all

Sent a force the place to guard
Where the victims were to fall,
That a rescue might be barred,
And their balls in safety drill each Roman's heart,
Who, their fate to undergo,
And afford a public show,
Were brought, solemnly and slow,

In a cart.

This was on the Twelfth of June:—

And forthwith their eyes were bound;
Their last words were spoken soon,

And their knees scarce touched the ground
When the muskets through the Papal Palace rang
And the Pope and aU his crew,
And his subjects also, knew
His allies had shot those two,

By the clang!

All silently the crowd

From the scene of blood dispersed,
For their curses were not loud,
If internally they cursed;
But they meekly saw their soil—let us hope—
Drink that sanguinary drench,
Shed their liberty to quench,
Crying " Blessings on the French

And the Pope •"