DOI Heft:
July to December, 1851
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16608#0070
58 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE BANQUET AT GUILDHALL-TRUE POLITENESS.
Alderman Gobble. "Now then, Gals! I've quite done. Can I get you any Grub?"
THE END OF AN IRISH TALE.
The announcement has just been made in the House of Commons,
that Mr. J. O'Connell has accepted the stewardship of the Chiltern
Hundreds. We cannot conceive a more entertaining volume than
would be produced if every steward of these celebrated hundreds were
to publish an account of his stewardship. Considering the frequency of
an application for the office in question, we are prompted to inquire, why
Chiltern and its Hundreds cannot be invested with a few other dignities,
such as a butlership, cookship, or footmanship, for example, in order
that_ the stewardship might no longer remain the only position open to
applicants. We think, also, that the Chiltern Hundred* might have a
housemaid ship added, for the accommodation of such ladies as may feel
anxious to give Chiltern the' benefit of their services.
In congratulating Mr. J. O'Connell on his ambition having led him
to a post for which he is no doubt duly qualified, we may, perhaps, be
allowed to felicitate the Commons on the fact, that " the floor of the
House " is not likely to become the scene of that melancholy event to
which Mr. J. O'Connell had at one time destined it. Instead of
dying on the floor of the House, the Honourable Gentleman is now at
liberty to select any one of the Hundreds of Chiltern as his final
resting-place. We, however, wish him long life to cultivate the
interests of that locality with which he has chosen to connect himself,
and health to devote himself to those duties which he lias adopted as
being better suited to him than the functions of a Member of Pa-liament.
Apropos of this new dignity of Mr. J. O'Connell, we may add, that
a simple correspondent has asked us, whether the Chiltern Hundreds,
whose stewardship seems so enviable, is the name of a steam-packet.
Child Dropping.
Left, tied to the knocker of the House of Lords, two promising male
children, apparently of the Hebrew-Caucasian family. The party
deserting them is known. This is to give notice, that the children so
left will not be taken in; and the Police have orders to apprehend any
persons making a similar attempt.
THE BLUSHING STATUES OP LONDON.
Brief by the Metropolitan Pontiff.
Since the most extraordinary and magnificent wonders are now
daily happening, to the confutation of incredulity, and to the diffusion
of true enlightenment, in an age dazzled by the false glare of philosophy;
than which splendid marvels nothing can be more conducive to the
delectation of the cockles of our paternal heart, and the_ glory, honour,
and interest of our Office; we are by no means surprised to hear of
the stupendous miracle which has lately happened at Guildhall, in the
City of London, in the presence of many millions of spectators. For,
considering the utter failure and most miserable, so to speak it, mull,
which was perpetrated by the Corporation in the Ball lately given by them
to Her Majesty, we thought it very likely that some prodigy would
happen before long to render that absurd transaction the more memorable.
We therefore received as nothing more than what was to be expected, the
intelligence of the notorious fact, that the statues of Gog and Magog,
ever since that ridiculous event, have been seen from time to time to
be suffused, as to their faces, with a rosy hue; biu.sh.ing for the mis-
management of the body corporate. Having nothing so much at heart
as the promotion of genuine rationality and the encouragement of
veracity, we have thought it fit to stimulate our faithful Public to the
observation of this illustrious portent. We therefore grant an unlimited
indulgence in turtle-soup and iced punch to any one who, having paid
his due respects to the Lord Mayor, or other civic personage of the
requisite influence, shall have procured a ticket of admission to the next
Dinner given either in the said Guildhall or at the Mansion House, on
condition of his making a pilgrimage to Guildhall aforesaid, and taking
a sight at the City Giants, that he may have ocular demonstration of
the shame and confusion they are affected with, in beholding their
blushes on account of the City Ball; and if, through a depraved and
heretical obstinacy, he will not acknowledge that they do blush, let
him be &c. (Signed) JBSB^Cg?.
(Countersigned) j j Missionaries General to the Punchifical Office
THE BANQUET AT GUILDHALL-TRUE POLITENESS.
Alderman Gobble. "Now then, Gals! I've quite done. Can I get you any Grub?"
THE END OF AN IRISH TALE.
The announcement has just been made in the House of Commons,
that Mr. J. O'Connell has accepted the stewardship of the Chiltern
Hundreds. We cannot conceive a more entertaining volume than
would be produced if every steward of these celebrated hundreds were
to publish an account of his stewardship. Considering the frequency of
an application for the office in question, we are prompted to inquire, why
Chiltern and its Hundreds cannot be invested with a few other dignities,
such as a butlership, cookship, or footmanship, for example, in order
that_ the stewardship might no longer remain the only position open to
applicants. We think, also, that the Chiltern Hundred* might have a
housemaid ship added, for the accommodation of such ladies as may feel
anxious to give Chiltern the' benefit of their services.
In congratulating Mr. J. O'Connell on his ambition having led him
to a post for which he is no doubt duly qualified, we may, perhaps, be
allowed to felicitate the Commons on the fact, that " the floor of the
House " is not likely to become the scene of that melancholy event to
which Mr. J. O'Connell had at one time destined it. Instead of
dying on the floor of the House, the Honourable Gentleman is now at
liberty to select any one of the Hundreds of Chiltern as his final
resting-place. We, however, wish him long life to cultivate the
interests of that locality with which he has chosen to connect himself,
and health to devote himself to those duties which he lias adopted as
being better suited to him than the functions of a Member of Pa-liament.
Apropos of this new dignity of Mr. J. O'Connell, we may add, that
a simple correspondent has asked us, whether the Chiltern Hundreds,
whose stewardship seems so enviable, is the name of a steam-packet.
Child Dropping.
Left, tied to the knocker of the House of Lords, two promising male
children, apparently of the Hebrew-Caucasian family. The party
deserting them is known. This is to give notice, that the children so
left will not be taken in; and the Police have orders to apprehend any
persons making a similar attempt.
THE BLUSHING STATUES OP LONDON.
Brief by the Metropolitan Pontiff.
Since the most extraordinary and magnificent wonders are now
daily happening, to the confutation of incredulity, and to the diffusion
of true enlightenment, in an age dazzled by the false glare of philosophy;
than which splendid marvels nothing can be more conducive to the
delectation of the cockles of our paternal heart, and the_ glory, honour,
and interest of our Office; we are by no means surprised to hear of
the stupendous miracle which has lately happened at Guildhall, in the
City of London, in the presence of many millions of spectators. For,
considering the utter failure and most miserable, so to speak it, mull,
which was perpetrated by the Corporation in the Ball lately given by them
to Her Majesty, we thought it very likely that some prodigy would
happen before long to render that absurd transaction the more memorable.
We therefore received as nothing more than what was to be expected, the
intelligence of the notorious fact, that the statues of Gog and Magog,
ever since that ridiculous event, have been seen from time to time to
be suffused, as to their faces, with a rosy hue; biu.sh.ing for the mis-
management of the body corporate. Having nothing so much at heart
as the promotion of genuine rationality and the encouragement of
veracity, we have thought it fit to stimulate our faithful Public to the
observation of this illustrious portent. We therefore grant an unlimited
indulgence in turtle-soup and iced punch to any one who, having paid
his due respects to the Lord Mayor, or other civic personage of the
requisite influence, shall have procured a ticket of admission to the next
Dinner given either in the said Guildhall or at the Mansion House, on
condition of his making a pilgrimage to Guildhall aforesaid, and taking
a sight at the City Giants, that he may have ocular demonstration of
the shame and confusion they are affected with, in beholding their
blushes on account of the City Ball; and if, through a depraved and
heretical obstinacy, he will not acknowledge that they do blush, let
him be &c. (Signed) JBSB^Cg?.
(Countersigned) j j Missionaries General to the Punchifical Office